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SEASON 1
Beat the Geeks

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with Chris Wolvie
COMEDY CENTRAL'S VS.
Beat the Parents to the Logical Extremes
October 12

Welcome to the fountain of knowledge where the unwashed masses are here to challenge the purified masters of trivia as they vie for valuable prizes...but ONLY if they can...

SHOW:  Comedy Central's VS.
AIR DATES: May 31, 1999 to September 3, 1999
CREATOR: First Television/Comedy Partners, Bradley & Mack Anderson
HOST: Greg Proops
WATCH IT HERE: YouTube

 

Long before "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" turned an individual-based Japanese show into a "team battle" between "cops" and "cons" or "educators" and "outdoorsmen", Comedy Central tried to keep the "Win Ben Stein's Money" streak going by introducing us to ACTUAL groups of people who are ACTUAL opposites to each other. The result was "Comedy Central's VS.", where astronomers took on astrologers, beauty queens battled goth queens and nudists took on Ron Jeremy and two other porn stars (where the winning team actually went NUDE during the bonus game)! Interesting enough...but the idea fell flat in practice.

HOW WAS IT PLAYED?
Two teams of three, made up of groups of people who were, allegedly, polar opposites of each other.

ROUND 1 ("GENERAL KNOWLEDGE ROUND")
Four subjects are played with funny "WBSM-esque" categories. The winner of a coin toss chooses which of the two to start with. A toss-up question is asked for 100 dollars. If a wrong answer is given, the other team gets a chance to answer. No penalty for a wrong answer. The one who gives the last right answer chooses from the categories of the next topic.

ROUND 2 
This time, the teams choose from categories specifically made for them and the other team. The trailing team chooses first and a toss-up question is asked. If a team gets a right answer in one of their OWN categories, they get $200. If they get a right answer in the OPPOSITE category, they get $400. They lose $200 for a wrong answer either way. Once five categories are given on a particular side, the remaining questions must come from the other side. The round ends when time expires or all ten questions are asked.

ROUND 3 ("HEAD-TO-HEAD")
The teams play one-vs-one toss-up questions. The answer to each question is one of three related choices, one each related to the teams and the third unrelated (ex: for "Nudists vs. Porn Stars", they were "S&M", "STD" or "SUV"). Each pair gets three rapid-fire questions which SOMETIMES caused people to ring in early and guess the wrong one. Right answers earned $250 for the team while wrong answer deducted $250. If neither one buzzes-in, they BOTH lose $250. Each of the three in each team is paired-up and the round ends when all nine questions are asked. The team with the most money wins the game and keeps the cash. The losers get a consolation prize. 

BONUS ROUND ("GRAND FINALE")
The host gives the champions a choice of two categories (one looks deliberately hard so the choice is easy). The host asks the question and the champs are given ten seconds to confer before giving an answer. If they're right, they earn an extra $1000. If they're wrong, the losing team gets one chance to confer five more seconds, get the right answer and steal the $1000.


WHAT WORKED?
Remember back with "Hot Potato" when I thought they couldn't get groups of three together? Well, I guess I forgot about this show because I was wrong. And finding VERY SPECIFIC threesomes gets them bonus points. Who'd've thought they could wrangle up three Elvis impersonators to battle three mall Santas? Or a trio of vegans to beat the meat outta a triad of deli workers? Kudos, CC.


WHAT DIDN'T WORK?
Greg Proops looked like he was a) stoned, b) had clue zero what he was doing or c) BOTH. It truly looked like he was sleepwalking through each episode. It's like he was trying to be Ben Stein but forget that Ben actually HAD some charisma. He's better at PLAYING improv "game shows" than HOSTING them, I'm afraid.

It's obvious they were going for comedy above all else. Not that there's anything WRONG with that - I mean, it is COMEDY Central, after all - but it's obvious they didn't have the same writers as WBSM because the categories looked much-less thought out.

The pace was almost snail-like. If this is supposed to be a battle between "lifelong enemies", you'd THINK they would've spiced it up a bit. Instead, the most given to the "rivalry" part of the show was a gladiatorium-looking set...and a POOR one at that.


WOULD IT WORK TODAY?

Uhhhhh,....no. Look, I like a grudge match as much as the next pro-wrestling fan, but it's obvious that a battle of intellect in this day and age will only end up like many a Twitter-war, with one group arguing about the right answer while the other group tells then to shut up. It's just the world we live in, I'm afraid. Although,....that being said, I kinda wished there had been a "Liberals VS. Conservatives" episode...show how things have changed in the last 18 years. But, no. "Nice try" bin again.



NEXT TIME: Electronic bar trivia meets music videos...

Chris Wolvie's "VS." opponent would be...just about any so-called "sane" person. Follow him on Twitter @ChrisWolvie and e-mail him at chriswolvie@yahoo.com.