August 8, 2004
Gordon: It's a
race to see where it is on your lineup schedule!
Chico: Could be worse... Could be "The Schedule."
The reality show that's always changing.
Ryan: Perfect for GSN.
Gordon: FOX would then copy it a week later.
Chico: Welcome back. Game Show Newsnet is
celebrating it's fifth birthday this fall. Since we
couldn't wait until then to start celebrating, we've got
this special segment for you.
Ryan: Cake?
Chico: And ice cream!
Ryan: Excellent way to ruin my dinner.
Chico: Full carb, full fat, full flavor ice
cream.
Ryan: Sweet!
Gordon: Cookie Dough ice cream?
Ryan: mmm.... cookies....
Chico: Is there any other?
Gordon: You gotta have cookie dough ice cream.
Chico: It's called "The Big Five", and here's how
it works. Each week, our panelists will present five
items for a list. This week, it's biggest game host
within the past five years. Now the host has to have
started within the past five years, so Bob Barker,
although he would have no problem taking a public vote,
sadly is ineligible.
Gordon: Don't you mean the show that the host has
been hosting?
Chico: Could be the host or the show starting.
Each of us presents five before having it go to a public
vote.
Ryan: Sounds good. We present just the host, or
the show too?
Chico: Host, show - Just to be on the level.
Ryan: Fair enough.
Chico: So first up, Travis, who just satellited
me his five. They are, in no particular order. George
Gray (Weakest Link), Phil Keoghan (Amazing Race), Jeff
Probst (Survivor), Meredith Vieira (Millionaire), and
Mark Walberg (Russian Roulette) Thoughts?
Gordon: Five fine suggestions.
Chico: Hard to top those.
Ryan: Would you like me to go next?
Chico: Sure.
Ryan: Anderson Cooper (the Mole), Walberg (RR), Todd
Newton (Whammy, Hollywood Showdown), Graham Elwood
(Cram), and because I should be different, Anne Robinson
(Link)
Gordon: Also good ones.
Chico: Agreed.
Ryan: Thank you :P
Gordon: But explain to me why Graham is there,
since he also did the hideous Strip Poker
Ryan: I put him there because he's brilliant at
Cram.
Chico: Now, it's my turn - Anne Robinson (Link),
Richard Karn (Family Feud), Donny Osmond (Pyramid), Phil
Keoghan (Race), and as a possible dark horse... Blaine
Capatch (Beat the Geeks).
Ryan: Hmm... Blaine?
Gordon: Blaine was the good MC, right?
Chico: Right.
Ryan: The one with the glasses?
Chico: They both had glasses - But he emoted
Okay, Gordon.
Ryan: Shoot.
Gordon: I will preface this by saying that I went
to see Jay Johnson the ventriloquist last night in his
show "The Two and Only" at the Atlantic Theater in NYC.
Do you remember Jay in Soap?
Ryan: Didn't he do game shows?
Gordon: As a matter of fact, he did. He was in To
Tell the Truth and he was a frequent guest in Chain
Reaction, which was ironic since he is dyslexic.
Chico: Yeah, I remember those now.
Ryan: Interesting.
Gordon: After the show (which he was great in, by
the way), we were talking about game shows from his
generation and the fact that the older generation, which
was one of the reasons why game shows were as popular to
us, need representation.
Chico: Right.
Ryan: Cheers to that.
Gordon: So, without further ado, my five are....
Chico: The tension mounts, oh what a feeling.
Gordon: 1. The host of 2 cult shows - Greed and
Lingo, as well as a documentary series about himself,
CHUCK WOOLERY!
Chico: *applause*
Ryan: Oohh...
Gordon: 2. You can't talk about generation gap
more than this staple of daytime TV for years. He gets
into the game show scene and everyone loves him. Do you
want to be a Millionaire? I do - and so does my 2nd
choice - REGIS PHILBIN!!! 3. Who else can better
represent the older generation than someone who has been
in the news all of the time? Though he has been involved
in game shows before, this is the first time that he
gets to be a host - and he successfully...revived NBC's
Must-See Thursdays. I am talking about none other than
DONALD TRUMP.
Chico: I'm still thinking dark horse?
Gordon: 4. He has been an Icon in the 80's - and
he's eligible to be in this because of his show Paranoia
- PETER TOMARKEN!
Ryan: ha ha lol!
Chico: Whoa. You've just scored 50% of the public
vote there.
Ryan: You really thought these out, eh?
Gordon: yep.
Chico: Gordon always thinks these things out.
Gordon: 5. In the next round, one person in each
person's list has to be eliminated. Since I love the Top
4, I have to create a decoy. So I know that I have to
pick someone that I KNOW won't make it out of this list.
So, my fifth choice.....is..... J.D. ROBERTO!!!!!
Chico: Dude, you suck.
Ryan: I can't believe that you did that.
Chico: He's actually better than Pat Finn
Gordon: (But if I could put all 5 up there, Frank
Nicotero would be my 5th choice =)
Ryan: first definition... last definition...
Chico: Okay, list is populated.
Ryan: Excellent.
Blaine Capatch (Beat the Geeks)
Anderson Cooper (The Mole)
Graham Elwood (Cram)
George Gray (Weakest Link)
Richard Karn (Family Feud)
Phil Keoghan (Amazing Race)
Todd Newton (Whammy!, Hollywood Showdown)
Donny Osmond (Pyramid)
Regis Philbin (WWTBAM)
Jeff Probst (Survivor)
JD Roberto (Are You Hot?, Shop 'til You Drop, Outback
Jack)
Anne Robinson (Weakest Link)
Peter Tomarken (Paranoia)
Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
Meredith Vieira (WWTBAM)
Mark Walberg (Russian Roulette)
Chuck Woolery (Lingo, Greed)
Ryan: That's quite an impressive list.
Chico: But now... like every good game, there's a
twist.
Gordon: AHA! THE TWIST!!!!
Ryan: A falcon twist perhaps?
Chico: Thank you, Montecore.
Ryan: (ca caw!)
Gordon: In this case, how many of the hosts are
going to be turning into Everett?
Chico: We will now reduce the list by four. It's
time... for the Spoiler Round.
Chico: Since Travis is not here, we need to vote
in his stead. First, I have serious doubts about Donald
Trump. I mean, is he a host or a focal point? That's my
vote.
Ryan: I tend to agree... did you see him on the
live show?? Worst. Teleprompting. Ever.
Gordon: He is both a host and a focal point. He
is doing exactly what Jeff Probst does.
Ryan: So they're more of a social guide than
anything else?
Chico: Your vote, Gordon?
Gordon: I am shocked that you are going to keep
Roberto on. just SHOCKED! But that's not my vote.
Chico: Doesn't really matter.. Two people say
Trump. So two to one, Travis' "spoiler" is Donald Trump.
So off he goes.
Gordon: pbbbbt.
Ryan: Although I like him, Donny's "ooh... just
missed it" routine drove me insane.
Chico: Donny's your spoiler?
Ryan: Yeah, Donny. Sorry, it's not personal, but
although he did a decent job, I don't think he's right
for it.
Chico: Hey, didn't he admit that he had big shoes
to fill? And didn't Dick Clark say he filled them?
Gordon: You got rid of the Donald - we may as
well get rid of The Donny, too.
Ryan: Ok, I'll give him that, but still his
mannerisms drove me up the wall.
Chico: Alright, Donny's gone. Next... Something
about Peter Tomarken just going off book all during the
run of Paranoia irks me
Gordon: So you will keep JD Roberto, because I'm
not getting rid of him
Chico: He's actually better on Shop Til You Drop
AND Outback Jack than he's given credit for... Peter
Tomarken, though... Sorry. He's gotta go. Couldn't even
convince his viewers that Paranoia was ready for the big
time
Gordon: You are just scared that Peter will blow
away the competition. You should be scared.
Chico: Hey.. can you honestly say that Peter was
good on Paranoia?
Ryan: Please... let's keep Peter and toss JD
perhaps? He's got a bad rap as it is.
Gordon: Peter had to deal in a live setting - and
I thought in a live showing, he was very good. J.D
couldn't do anything in a taped setting - and he had 3
shots at it
Chico: You may like it, you may hate it, but
that's what the public vote is for... I stand by my
decision. Okay, one more spoiler. Gordon?
Gordon: Fine - let's get off Chico's favorite
person.
Ryan: ooh.. tit for tat!
Gordon: THAT elimination... was personal.
Chico: We do this all the time, you notice
Ryan: I know, I read it like everyone else :P
Chico: And no, it's not personal. It's just my
personal preference.
Gordon: I have three choices of people who I
wouldn't mind see leaving. Mark Wahlberg is Chico's game
show hussy.
Chico: I can't believe you're still on that.
Ryan: You can't get rid of Wahlberg. He was
wonderful on Russian Roulette. He was a brilliant
compliment to the format.
Gordon: I'll spare him - IF I can exchange JD
with Frank Nicotero.
Chico: You played your gambit, now you have to
live with it.
Gordon: I don't have to live with it - your
voters do - lol
Ryan: And to think... we forgot about Billy
Bush...
Gordon: I should have put in Billy Bush.
Chico: Nah, he wasn't that good either
Gordon: You would have gotten rid of him over
Tomarken.
Chico: Yep
Gordon: I won't axe Wahlberg, since I thought he
was good.
Ryan: Excellent!
Chico: You said you had three..
Gordon: The second choice is Richard Karn.
Ryan: Agreed.
Chico: What's wrong with him? He's better than
the guy we had before.
Ryan: Not much better.
Chico: People are just expecting Richard
Dawson... you're going to be waiting a long time for
that.
Gordon: Ahhh see, if I get rid of him, THAT would
hurt Chico. Heh heh heh
Chico: Now THAT was personal.
Gordon: BUT...I will not stoop to Chico's level.
I will spare Richard Karn.
Ryan: So this is a build up then?
Gordon: Of course.
Chico: Your third?
Gordon: Since two of us had to figure out who he
was, Capatch. Gone.
Ryan: Fine by me.
Chico: Although I did think he was the better of
the two hosts of BTG.
Gordon: Yeah, but what else has he done? At least
everyone else is a recognizable name.
Chico: He's a writer.
Gordon: Everyone knows even JD - and just to
spite you, I hope he wins.
Chico: Okay, we have our 13 - Cooper, Elwood,
Gray, Karn, Keoghan, Newton, Philbin, Probst, Roberto,
Robinson, Vieira, Walberg, and Woolery.
Ryan: A mouthful of game show goodness.
Chico: Now, it's all on you fine folk. We'll be
posting this poll for vote on
gameshownewsnet.com. The results on the next WLTI.
When we come back, it's the BIG finish! Yay big finish!
Gordon: Someone likes Red Stripe, eh?
Chico: I'm a Guinness man myself.
Ryan: Bring it on!
(Brought
to you by the ABC DVD Game Show Collection series.
Collect them all. Now includes the JD Roberto platinum
edition)
Chico: Worth the cost to see Johnny Mac at his
loudest.
Ryan: You cannot be serious!
Chico: We're back on the Big Finish. First off.
Who's the LCS?
Gordon: I said it was Alonzo's last week, and I
say it's Alonzo's this week.
Chico: Yep. No contest there.
Gordon: AR 5 - Can the bowling moms survive? If
so, who's leaving?
Chico: I think they're creative enough. They'll
squeak by somehow. Meanwhile the twins? *raspberries*
Ryan: Yes, they can survive, and I say that the
twins do something dumb to eliminate themselves. Paging
Heather and Eve, Heather and Eve...
Chico: HEATHER AND EVE!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY! :)
Ryan: Well, if you read a clue that says "walk to
the pit stop", what must you do? That's what I thought.
Take a cab.
Chico: Big Brother 5... Will Nakomis' fake out
plan work?
Ryan: I suspect everything has been chucked out
the window with both twins playing now.
Gordon: Decoys have been perfect on Big Brother
this year. They are better than what we've seen on this
show, so I think it works now and Jase is toast. I think
next week, all bets are off. Next subject, JD?
Chico: Sigh. Fear Factor starts up again Aug. 30.
Should we expect to see something outlandish?
Ryan: First stunt, physical; second stunt, gross;
third stunt, timed. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Gordon: Fear Factor....uh...yeah, gross things.
Gross things, good.
Chico: Anything else you guys are looking forward
to?
Ryan: I'm salivating for Amazing Race 6 in a time
slot where I don't have to stay up half the night to
watch (I get it here 11.30 pm local)
Gordon: I look forward to Season 2 of Extreme
Dodgeball AND I look forward to Chuck Woolery, Regis and
JD finishing in the Top 3 in the voting.
Ryan: You apparently are looking forward to those
pigs flying too, right?
Gordon: Will they be part of the next Fear Factor
stunt?
Chico: We'll have to look forward to next time
for that. One more thing: Blackjack... Ben Stein to win,
please.
Gordon: I want to see him win - and I want to see
a new vehicle for him.
Ryan: Win Ben Stein's Green Card?
Chico: Only if he can down a bucket of
earthworms.
Gordon: Now there's a show I'd like to see. You
on the phone with FOX?
Ryan: But wait! They haven't ripped it off!
Gordon: I'm sure they are working on the show
right now.
Chico: I'll make a call. Okay, time to turn out
the lights and cage up the nut house for another day, so
we can get Gordon on the next plane out to LA for the
Game Show Congress. Ryan, thanks again for stopping by.
Gordon: Thank you Ryan, for fulfilling your
duties as a Canadian.
Ryan: Proud to be a part of it! Thanks for having
me. I will continue in my quest to dethrone Ben Mulroney
from his CI2 perch.
Gordon: For Chico and JD, this is Gordon Pepper,
saying to let all your shopping days be good ones.
Chico: Sing the words of "Game over."
(Note: Due to unforeseen
technical difficulties, we had to cut another three from
the roster. Those three are Graham Elwood, Richard Karn,
and JD Roberto. The list as it appears on the front site
is accurate. Our apologies) |