Gordon: How is that doing in the ratings?
Chico: Explosive :)
Lee: haha!
Chico: Welcome back to We Love to Interrupt, where The WLTI Jury is now in session. I have with me a blotter of charges that will be addressed by myself, Judge Chico, and my trusted jury of experts, Gordon, Lee, and Aldo. There are three of you, so no hung juries, alright? I've got a golf game, and justice will be served.
Gordon: Can I have it served on a bed of radishes?
Chico: We're fresh out. Sorry.
Gordon: Awwwww.
Chico: First case, the people vs. CBS. The charges, conspiracy to commit
murder and attempted murder of a series. That series being - the Amazing Race. Wins an Emmy, but still CBS wants to bury it at 9 on Saturdays this fall. What say you jury?
Lee: CBS is Guilty of burying a great show in an awful time slot. Some of
us aren't home on Saturdays. 9? They're killing their own fantastic show.
Guilty.
Aldo: I'm never home .... Guilty. That is a time slot of death.
Gordon: I'll say not guilty - for that same reason. If you stick a show on
Saturday night, you are not expecting much, so if the show doesn't set the world on fire, you can say, well, it's on a Saturday night, it isn't going to do
anything. It doesn't need that high of a rating for it to be renewed.
Gordon: A time slot of death could be this summer, where it is going up
against Last Comic Standing. The only tough thing against it on Saturdays is COPS - and AR should do better than that.
Chico: So you're saying that CBS wants to do more than that?
Gordon: It's not up against American Idol, or The Apprentice, or The Bachelor, so it may have a shot to grow and get people.
Lee: Isn't CBS sacrificing sponsor money there?
Gordon: You can't make it a hit if you put it against a powerhouse - give it
an audience.
Aldo: An audience that isn't home on Saturdays?
Lee: Regardless, guilty of stupidity.
Chico: 2-1, GUILTY. Sentence: The CBS heads have to spend one night in the Big Brother house.
Gordon: A night in the house with the MIME.
Lee: Ugh. That's too harsh.
Chico: That's unconstitutional, Gordon, but don't think I haven't considered
it. Next case, the People vs. Court TV for breach of due process. Fake Out
was an intriguing game show with knowledgeable people. Now the second season, with only one or two knowledgeable people thus far and cash on the line. What say you, jury?
Gordon: Not guilty. This is a simple game of bluff which, although
intriguing, didn't do anything for me. I would have loved to seen some theme and variation for this show, but it seems like the show went backwards.
Lee: Not guilty. It's not that Court TV has, so far, picked morons. The show
was doomed for failure.... just like Balderdash will.
Aldo: If they want to mess up their own show then its fine by me. N.G.
Chico: Unanimous. Not guilty. That case is dismissed. Next up: the people
vs. MTV for implication of a first-time host in a mediocre format. "Your
Face or Mine" premiered off of a British format, and the network placed a)
facially-unchallenged couples and b) an emo-style geek host. Geekier than J. Keith on the first season of Beat the Geeks. What say you, jury?
Lee: Guilty: Where was his pocket protector?
Gordon: Not guilty. You don't blame the rider if the horse has three legs
Chico: Yes, but we're blaming the horse.
Lee: In this case, we blame the horse and the jockey. The horse couldn't
run. The jockey can't ride it.
Aldo: Anything with someone geekier than J. Keith is guilty.
Lee: By the way, Chico, who looks better, me or Gordon?
Gordon: WHA?
Chico: Do I get iPods if I get this right?
Lee: Depends...
Chico: Okay.... 2-1 Guilty vote and their sentence: THEY have to decide who's better looking, Lee, Gordon... or myself :)
Lee: That'll be an easy sentence... sorry guys :)
Chico: Everyone loves a bald man with a goatee.
Gordon: Dear ANT, just a reminder that the correct spelling of the love note is either Chico Alexander OR Lee DiGeorge
Chico: Next case: People vs. JD Roberto - charge: masquerading as a good
host - and then riding said masquerade to increased camera time. As if he
didn't get enough on Shop 'til You Drop. Now he has Outback Jack. Jury, I know Aldo has probably something to say here.
Aldo: I'm enjoying him as a host, and I like his interaction with the
ladies when he shows up. Not guilty.
Lee: Guilty! Shop 'til you drop? Are you hot? Food Fight? Outback Jack?
He's talentless. Everything is either overdrawn or understated with him. Someone shoot the lame horse.
Chico: Gordon, break the tie.
Gordon: It's always up to me, eh?
Chico: Always.
Gordon: Is the charge based on his history or current work?
Chico: History
Gordon: Well, I think that he has been horrible in the history - but the
games that he has been stuck with don't help. He has been good in Outback Jack - probably the best ever. Can I motion for a hung jury?
Chico: You can't! There's three of you! You gotta have something. I am the mother(BLEEP!)ing judge and there will be order, dammit!
Lee: Anyone could be a reality show host! Look at Anderson Cooper!  What about Julie Chen? She's talentless too!
Gordon: Fine, fine, fine. He has a young career and I see potential from him, and he is trying. Not guilty.
Lee: UGH.
Gordon: He's been getting all of the gigs - that has to count for something
Lee: Gordon, there goes the respect I had for you :)
Gordon: And what fun is it if you can't stir up the pot once in a while? I'll
give you something to make you happy. Julie Chen and Anderson Cooper - Guilty
Chico: So we have a not guilty vote for JD despite all logic, and a guilty vote for Julie and Anderson. They have to share a room at the Stone-Stanley megastore with JD and the mime. Either way, JUSTICE!
Gordon: It's not fun if you go with the obvious - it makes it fun if you can
go with the unpopular point and defend it successfully.
Lee: ;)
Chico: That's true.
Gordon: Besides, you get to roast Julie Chen and Anderson Cooper
Lee: They were so awful :) The Mole was horrendous. :)
Gordon: The Mole was a great idea - but lousy execution - which is why it got executed. Heh.
Chico: Anywho, next case: People vs. ABC for one count of wrongful
imprisonment and one count of possession with NO intent to give a rat's ass. ABC is sitting on six episodes of Deal or No Deal, which they have not aired yet. But they have dug out Whose Line is it Anyway. Jury, dispense with the justice.
Gordon: I am one of the 4 people who like WLIIA - even if they don't fly out Tony Slattery to make the show good.
Chico: But we're talking about ABC's Deal or No Deal here. Your verdict,
please.
Lee: Not Guilty - Remember Fox's "It's Your Chance of a Lifetime?" It was another import that flopped mightily. Deal or No Deal is strongly reminiscent of Winning Lines (to an extent, which had many starters, but only one winner).
Gordon: Who's Line Is It Anyways? gets aired due to the contract agreement with Drew Carey - and you have to give them the props to do it. As for Deal or No Deal - ABC's biggest shows has been game shows - The Bachelorette and Super Millionaire giving them the highest ratings. Unless it reeks to high heaven, If they pitch this correctly, there is no way that this should be in the can. Guilty.
Lee: Deal Or No Deal has the distinct stench of garbage.
Chico: Aldo, you're the decider.
Aldo: It's their show. Who knows if these episodes are good or not. So they have all the right to hold it back. Not Guilty.
Chico: But will they give us a chance to find out? We'll see. But right now,
not guilty, 2-1.
Lee: I still wanna see it though, even if it's awful.
Chico: Next, People vs. Pax for providing safe haven for really bad game
shows. I could write a book on this, but I'll just hand it to you guys.
Lee: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty. The only reason David Ruprecht still has a
job is because of PAX.
Chico: Not true. 1-800 Dentist
Aldo: Guilty, do I even need to go into detail?
Gordon: What's wrong with Supermarket Sweep?
Lee: What's RIGHT with Supermarket Sweep?
Gordon: I can find out what my groceries cost. Besides, it's one of my guilty pleasures. Guilty except for Supermarket Sweep - which isn't even a PAX show to begin with.
Chico: That's true.
Lee: I really don't know why I've been so mellow... I better run to the
store to get some Lemon-Lime ___________!
Gordon: For Aldo, Jello, For Lee, Sardines.
Aldo: Hahahaha
Chico: Three votes in, Guilty as charged. Their crime: having to watch an On The Cover marathon over and over again.
Gordon: All two episodes.
Chico: Now, the biggie...The people vs. Fox. The charge: at least six counts of grand larceny within the past five years. What say you jury?
Gordon: Lets rip off The Contender, Wife Swap, Millionaire, Extreme Makeover, and The Chair (why?) and air them before the competition to make it look like they are stealing from us. Guilty.
Aldo: I'm watching Fox right now. Doesn't that make me biased?
Lee: Not Guilty. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So what if
Greed looked an awful lot like Millionaire? They are still shows that stand on their own merits.
Gordon: Greed was a great show. Defend It's your Chance of a Lifetime and The Chamber.
Aldo: I cant find it in my heart to find the people who did Married with
Children guilty. Not Guilty - sorry
Gordon: And you wonder why FOX does it - it's because they can get away with it!
Chico: So in a shocker, we have a 2-1 upset. Fox is not guilty, thanks to
Married with Children... Although we might have to toss that juror out for being biased.
Gordon: Who's the substitute juror?
Chico: An inanimate carbon rod.
Lee: I'll take a "Pick your Side" against you, Gordon.
Gordon: You're on, rookie.
Lee: Bring it, punk.
Chico: Alright. Quickie. Lee, go.
Lee: Granted, FOX has "borrowed ideas" from other stations. In America, we borrowed ideas of our constitution from other countries! Are they guilty as well of larceny? NO! Instead, they do their best to give the public EXACTLY what they want! (at least in execution!) Imitation, as said before, is the greatest form of flattery. The truth of the matter is... They aren't doing ANYTHING wrong by trying to see if it works for them, too.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Part of the demise of any genre is the popping up of inferior products that sets the genre back. It happens all the time in the video game genre when a lot of bad products destroys a genre or a system. It happened with Millionaire when Greed and Its Your Chance of a Lifetime popped up - and that helped kill off the show. It almost happened to Survivor, whose ratings went down after No Boundaries, Under One Roof and other 'clone' shows popped up. The only thing that saved it is that the people who created the show created new subgenres for it to go to. Even shows like American Idol are being threatened when Super star USA pops and makes a mockery of the genre. As of right now, William Hung is a bigger name than Fantasia Barrino and people, in order to make a fast buck, wind up crippling the genre by creating clones instead of coming up with original concepts to improve the genre.
Chico: Okay.. Gordon made some excellent points there, even going so far as to say that while the genre is "growing", the quality is being thinned out. I'd much rather watch one or two quality shows than several inferior ones.
Aldo: I agreed with Gordon. Big difference between taking an idea for
society like the constitution point and a show.
Lee: Oh!
Gordon: 2-0 Me. Yeah baby =0)
Chico: So Gordon gets this one, and we still want to hear your opinions.
E-mail us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Back with the Big Finish after this.

(Brought to you by the talking X22. Pull the string and it quacks!
"Quack quack")

Chico: Welcome quack... Back. Big Finish time, and today, since we have a captive audience, I'll give each person some time to just say what's on their minds a la Tough Crowd. Aldo, you're first.
Aldo: TV needs to stop taking ideas from other shows. Be original. Same
thing with the Mets.
Chico: Of course the Mets are original. They bring their own ideas on how
bad they want to suck every game.
Gordon: METS - My Entire Team Sucks.
Aldo: Are we isolating some are your viewers?
Gordon: Is there anyone we didn't isolate today?
Chico: I dunno. =p. Gordon, your final thoughts, please.
Gordon: There was one winning ticket worth almost 300 million dollars (the numbers were 10, 25, 38, 39, 50 and the Mega Ball was 12. The winning ticket was sold in Massachusetts, so it wasn't any of us. I would request that the winner spend the money on the following...
1. A real show for GSN,
2. To somehow get GSN to get the airing rights for Gambit or The Price is
Right,
3. Shows for Todd Newton, Geoff Edwards and Peter Tomarken,
4. An original prime time traditional game show on a network,
and finally - 5. a hefty donation to Game Show News Net
Chico: We'll give you details later.
Gordon: Chico - you get the final word
Chico: Well, I had to say goodbye to an old standby recently. When G4 merged with TechTV, they each posted a list of shows that would make the new network. Starcade was not one of them.
Gordon: =(
Chico: Any old-school gamer loves the Starcade, it was one of Geoff Edwards' finer moments. Now I'm going to have to go into trading to get all of them.
Gordon: I watched that show every Saturday morning religiously on TBS
Chico: So Comcast, thank you for screwing with a major part of my daily game show routine, you little... Anyway...Big thanks to Aldo Villalona and Lee DiGeorge who's out somewhere getting a haircut. Next time, we break down Celebrity Blackjack, Big Brother, and the Amazing Race.
Gordon: And we break the rookies in TRIOS
Chico: For Gordon and everyone here at GSNN, I'm Chico, wishing you a very happy birthday America. Hey, be careful on the interstates or else it will be... Game over.