"Battle of the
Shirleys" - October 3
It's Mother's Day
at ISPF, as we have two Keiths, two Lauries, and soon,
two Dannys. First, though, it's all about the mama.
Tonight, it's time for the Shirleys to take the stage!
Here are the Shirleys one more time...
Mary Kay Twargowski;
Krissy Todd; Oviedo, FL
Dee Nelson; Boston
Lisa Arnold; Leesburg, GA
Julie Wittner; Los Angeles
Judy Guinosso; Souderton, PA
Suzanne Sole; Chicago
Gabrielle Wagner; Los Angeles
The things these women
can do with mops and Swiffers... Remember, one by one, the performers will
wow first, then sing, then act. At the
end of the night, the judges will cut the field to
three. Those three are presented to you, the public, to
vote via phone or via website (VH1.com) on which one
will be the successor to Shirley Jones, who now joins
Newton on stage. Think of it as VH1's answer to
Enter footage from Boot
Camp, including horseback riding with Danny, bowling
with Shirley, and watching Danny fawn over his eight
moms. And a birthday party for two of them, complete
with stripper. Go shorty, it's your birthday... we gon'
party like it's your birthday...
Okay, it's serious music
time... Three ladies pay, five ladies stay. The first
round is based the whole package, including boot camp
Dee: does not advance
Mary Kay: advances
That leaves three
Two of them are going home. Krissy... moves on! Lisa and
Judy will have to watch this one from the sidelines.
Next, it's time to sing,
as we meet Krissy Todd first. As you remember, the
former rock singer is the biological mother of Leland
Grant, one of the Keith finalists. Her song,
"Heartbreaker". Now, she's a sentimental favorite
because of the obvious... but to be honest, Nikki
McKibbin did a better job of this...
Tim: 6.5 Mary
Jo: 8.5 Josh: 8.2 Nancy: 7.2.
Oh, so THAT's the
announcer... I want his job. Next up, Gabrielle Wagner,
who lives and dies and lives again for her cello. Her
dream... to be on Celebrity Poker Showdown. Hey! Her
song, "Hot Stuff". Sounds okay, but I wish she'd do some
more... Oh, wait, there it is... Okay, good. I wish she
wouldn't force it out, though. And the judges agree...
Tim: 6.5 Mary
Jo: 6.5 Josh: 6.0 Nancy: 6.9.
Two down, and we're up
to Mary Kay Twargowski, aka "Muffy", who is a
professional dog walker. She wanted to do this because
of her father, who died two years ago. His philosophy,
take life by the horn. Her song: "You're So Vain". The
best singer to start, but a little forced toward the
end. Too bad. It was so fresh and so clean, too...
Tim: 6.8 Mary
Jo: 7.3 Josh: 7.0 Nancy: 7.1.
Man! No love from Tim
today. Suzanne Sole is next, and she's pro-sass. She
sees Shirley as someone who has to have a sense of
humor. Yeah, she's nuts. Her song, "You Oughta Know".
She sounds like Alanis... No, that's not a good thing.
Unless you indeed are Alanis Morissette. No, Suzanne,
it's NOT fair.
Tim: 5.9 Mary
Jo: 7.2 Josh: 8.5 Nancy: 7.5.
Finally, Julie Whittner,
a successful, but miserable business worker. They say
that she was crazy, and they're probably right. But that
didn't stop her. Her song, "Call Me", and I'm beginning
to hope that the judges are looking for showmanship,
because it's just another mediocre performance vocally.
Tim: 6.0 Mary
Jo: 6.0 Josh: 6.0 Nancy: 7.0.
One of them is the new
Shirley Partridge, and if the new Danny is anything like
Danny Bonnaduce, "she'll be in therapy by November." A
brief tete-a-tete reveals Tim likes Emily for
Laurie (smart man), Mary Jo likes Leland for Keith, Josh
likes Suzanne for Shirley, and Mary likes either Keaton
or Spencer for Danny.
After we suffer through
the "A-for-effort" footage, it's time to say goodnight
to two of these ladies. Krissy is not one of them. She
moves on alongside Mary Kay & Suzanne. Not the case for
Julie and Gabrielle. Well, so much for Celebrity Poker.
Next, we get into the
mind of Shirley Partridge, the original sexy independent
single mom. Draw your own conclusions, America. Who else
can be that original, that sexy, that independent, that
single? It's time once again for the Blue Screen of
Death round. Another scene from 1974, in which Shirley
is more than a bit upset as Danny's plagiarizing of
Ernest Hemingway. And Laurie gave him a D. First up,
Krissy. I give her a C-. Next, Mary Kay. I give her a
B-. Finally, we have Suzanne. She gets an A. Yay for
Who should get cut:
Krissy. Who will get cut: Mary Kay. But we'll find that
out who joins Keiths Leland Grant & David Petruzzi and
Lauries Alexis Mero & Emily Stone... and two of these
guys. One more look at the Dannys, Spencer Tuskowski,
Alex Oyen, and Keaton Savage... It's Keaton and Spencer!
So the card is
three-fourths set: It's Leland vs. David, Emily vs.
Alexis, Keaton vs. Spencer, and Shirley #1 vs. Shirley
#2 for the next generation of the Partridge Family. The
quadruple-header for all the cheddar, NEXT WEEK! In the
meantime you can go to VH1.com and keep on voting for