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What do you get when you take
sixteen ugly ducklings, fly them to a mansion with no mirrors,
then have them undergo radical transformations including
plastic surgery, dental work, fitness regimens, and life
coaching, THEN have them compete in a beauty pageant for
hundreds of thousands of dollars in prizes? According to this show, "the
most unusual competition ever devised for television."
Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN |
FACT FILE:
Host: Amanda Byram
Experts: Greg Comeaux, Dr. Terry Dubrow, Nely Galan,
Dr. Randal Haworth, Dr. Lynn Ianni, Dr. Sherri Worth
Creator: Nely Galan
EP: Nely Galan, Arthur Smith
Packager: Galan Productions, A. Smith & Co.,
FremantleMedia
Airs: Mondays at 9:00pm ET on FOX |
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Episode 4 - April 26
First off, my impersonation of Special Ed on "The
Swan"... "I'm gonna be a Swan! YAAAAAY!"
Sorry, had to get that in.
Anyway, women. We have two. In an hour, we'll have one.
She'll come back later. You know the score by now. First
up, Beth May of Milton, WA, a mother who wants to focus
on herself for a change. Her child, aside from years of
joy, has given her stretch marks and an abnormal belly
button. That's probably why she has issues being
intimate with the husband, but did she ever think it
would lead to infidelity? Well, through it all, she
stood by her Dan, even though he fears that this change
will change that. Well, she's already pretty attractive,
I think. In a geeky sorta way. Her plan includes an
endobrow lift, nose job, FATMA lip enhancement, chin
liposuction, lasik, breast augs, tummy tuck, liposuction
of her calves and ankles, teeth whitening, veneers, gum
surgery, lower orthodontics, deep periodontal cleaning,
and SWP.
Woman #2: Kathy Rickers, a 27-year-old from Lake Villa,
IL. She was the stereoptypically angsty kid in high
school. Her father was a real support to her, and when
he died, it was a void. Boyfriend helps. School,
setbacks, and detours don't. She still sees an awkward
16-year-old. Today, we'll see an awkward 16-year-old
with an endobrow lift, nose job, FATMA lip enhancement,
fat injection under eyes and removal from cheeks,
chemical peel, fotofacial, collagen, laser hair removal,
lasik, breast augs, six liposuctions, teeth whitening,
veneers, deep periodontal cleaning, and SWP.
We have our two women. Let's head to the mansion where
Kathy doesn't want to be teased anymore while Beth tries
to overcome her marital woes. But enough about day 1.
Let's go to Dr. Haworth's initial consult with Kathy.
"Kathy is actually a beautiful woman underneath all the,
dare I say, less beautiful features. I'm here as a miner
trying to excavate that." They start with the nose,
obviously. From there, they go to the breasts (nipple
lift), which of course, they can't show on TV. Well, not
in this country anyway.
Beth's initial consult with Dr. Dubrow: They go over the
tummy tuck, breast implants, leg procedures, and lip
enhancements that Dr. Haworth will be performing. No one
Swannabe ever had to go through TWO plastic surgeons
before...
From the surgery we go to Jenny Craig for the weigh-ins.
Kathy's first, and she totals at 148, meaning that we're
looking for 28 pounds in three months. She's never stuck
by her goals before. Well, she's never had free time, a
nutritionist, or a trainer before either. Beth, on the
other hand, heads to the dentist's, as Dr. Worth
describes her plans.
Kathy's off to surgery later, as she is nervous about
"what if." They start with her lipos, which go over
quickly. Her nose also goes over well, but where she'll
win or lose today is in the diet and exercise.
Next day, and Beth is thinking about her husband going
into the surgery. Drs. Dubrow and Haworth go into tag
team mode. Beth calls home to Mom, and things don't go
over too well. Mom didn't get some position, and Dad got
booted from his position, making Beth a bit upset. That
doesn't stop her from going into her surgery, though.
Biggest challenge: the calves. The docs go into it
comparing lipo needle sizes. You want to know what the
male preoccupation is with size? Now you know.
We're done, while both ladies are struggling
post-surgery. Kathy's tired, and contemplating quitting.
Beth's face hurts. Dr. Haworth is concerned that she
won't heal in time. And she feels like crap. She's
starting to miss her little boys.
Kathy keeps calling home looking for support and/or a
reason to leave. Beth calls her husband, who admits that
he'd left a huge "scar on her heart". Dr. Ianni
shoulders all of her torment in therapy. "Beth is at the
point now where she has to forgive her husband or move
on." The classic question: forgive or forget. There's
the rub.
Kathy's big obstacle... weighty issues. She's actually
gained a few pounds after losing, oh, three. Time to
bring in tough love expert Nely. She's only lost 10
pounds. That and the dress help Nely make her point
clear.
Beth, on the other hand, goes in for lasik to get rid of
her glasses. The surgery's a success, but we still have
a long way to go at the one-month-to-go mark. Kathy
still needs to lose 20 pounds, while Beth still has 13
pounds, a hard decision, and some serious healing to
overcome.
The Swan team reconvenes with Amanda at Swan HQ. Beth
needed to discover her independence, and Dr. Ianni notes
significant progress in therapy. If you remember, the
surgery was done by both docs, and had taken some
serious time to get over. Serious time had passed. And
here she is... Yeah, this would be the transformation
you'd have to see to believe. She'd found a deeper love
for her husband as she progresses toward the Mirror of
Fate for her reveal...
That high-pitched noise was her squealing. "Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. I look so beautiful. Oh my..." If you say
gosh, I'll fricking lose it. But nevertheless, the most
amazing transformation I've seen.
But more amazing than Kathy's? Kathy was teased because
of her nose. Taken care of. Kathy considered herself a
quitter. Taken care of that. End result... a punk rocker
goth biker? Hell yeah! But will she see an
awkward-16-year-old in the Mirror of Fate? This day and
age? Probably.
"It's me?" Yep. "I just want to say thank you
everybody." She feels comfortable in her skin.
But who makes it to the pageant? Remember, both women
have been judged on 10 points taste, 5 points
originality, and 5 points presentation. My money's on
the tall one, Beth. The next person in the pageant is...
Stretching...
Thinning...
Beth Lay. She just worked hard on every aspect. Kathy
was a risk taker and a wow story, as Nely put it, but
apparently, it wasn't enough. But before we send her on
her way, let's give her one more shock. Here's David,
who was just "wow". They miss each other. Yeah, we get
it. Let's turn out the lights and call it a day, as we
bring in the rest of the family.
Next we see Beth will be at the pageant at the end of
the series. We're halfway home. More of the same next
week.
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Previous Episodes
April 7
April 12
April 19
April 26
May 3
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