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Play-er: (noun) an over-charismatic, over-charming person who isn't willing to settle down with just one person.

Used in a sentence: Thirteen players try to get with a Miami model, but if their playing ways don't get them in trouble, her girlfriends - and the unseen Player Operator - will!

Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN


FACT FILE:
Creators: Don Weiner, Happy Walters, Cary Woods, Scott Nemes
EP: Don Weiner, Happy Walters
Packager: Don Weiner Productions, IR. Immortal
Airs: Wednesdays at 9:00pm ET on UPN


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"I've Been Known to Break Up Relationships" - August 10

Last week, Federico was the first player to be sent packing, leaving 12 players, three playerettes, and one Player Operator (heretofore known as "The Play-Op") to guide us through 60 minutes of dating show, as Dawn recalls why she nominated intelligent Marvin only to keep him around. She thinks he could be player material. Good thought, as Marvin decides to step up his game.

Play-Op: Today, you'll compete in your second challenge, the Hot Shot Slam Dunk Competition. Make sure to bring your A-game to the court to win a date with Dawn. I'll text-message Dawn with instructions. Good luck, players.

First thing on Alex's mind: "I need some sneakers." He heads down to the beach to meet the girls... without his sneaks. First up: qualifying. Slam-Dunk competition. Because this is streetball, and the rule is don't just win, look good doing it. The six players with the best ball-handling skill will play each other, three on three. Winners get a date with Dawn.

Ball in. We're either a) really tame, b) really lame, or c) Eian, who just plain sucked. Or d) blindfolded and perfect (Bryan). Then JJ comes and hammers the skill down. Ananda picks Acie, Bryan, and Trever, while Jinelle picks Marvin, JJ, and Jason. Clock at five minutes and... cue the professional ballers. Yeah, you thought this was going to be easy, didn't you? Not on my watch, friend, we've got Ruth Riley, Deanna Nolan, and USA superstar Swin Cash of the WNBA Detroit Shock in the house. 

First off: Shock vs. Red (JJ, Marvin, and Jason). Clock still at 5:00... Go! And can you say "schooled?" At 2:38, the team scores 6, all by Marvin. They end up with 10. Blue (Acie, Bryan, and Trever) on the court now... The only points Acie manages to put up are a perfect 10... on Ananda's short shorts. "That ain't coaching. That's a distraction!" Add that to a few long bricks, and the red easily takes this one, 10-8. MVP: Marvin, of course.

So what are the girls up to now that it's night? Slumber party with some of the guys. It keeps JJ up, so he goes to check out the action... only to become part of said action. What happens next should never be attempted without parental supervision. You know the old "pour the hot wax on the naked body" thing? Well, JJ and Eian got on the wrong end on that one.

3:37am, as Eian starts having his way with Ananda (as much as can be gotten away with on TV, at least). Eian thought she was really digging it? She wasn't. She leaves, and makes Eian leave, too. Dawn puts it best: "Eian better watch his back, because my girls have mine."

Meanwhile Chyno and Dawn snuggle all night. Alex breaks it up with breakfast. JJ thinks Alex will stay around a bit because of that. Ananda, on the other hand, thinks that Chyno and Dawn are starting to hook up. Too soon? Maybe. JJ sleep-spies on the happy couple. Obviously, it's time to step up your game, as Chyno puts it. "My man Chyno," Byron says, "he's bragging right now."

Dawn starts giving orders to clean the kitchen up, because let's face it... it's ridiculous right now. Byron takes his order to take the trash out the only way he can... Leaving. "He's digging his own grave," Kyle says. And he just keeps digging... and digging... and digging...

7:01pm and somebody's got a date to go on. Namely, Jason the Salesman, arrogant Marvin, and JJ, the guy who adds spice to everything. Sushi ensues, as Dawn rolls onto JJ's arm. Meanwhile JJ blows his sake bomb. But Dawn likes that, so it's all good. Marvin scores with flowers... does he ever. Dawn tries to get some justification for his arrogance. Marvin calls it confidence. "I can say that he's gained some brownie points, but I can't say that he's redeemed himself, because I still don't like arrogant people."

Jason tries to outdo him during dessert. "The first date of more to come" written in... I think it's chocolate... There's something you don't see every day. "Oh, that's kinda corny." Yeah. JJ has no problem with it. He just removes the corny part, namely Jason.

And, because we can and we haven't done it yet, it's Jacuzzi time with JJ and Dawn running and/or "vertical" shagging on the beach afterwards. "She was nice," JJ said. "He's so untouched. I love being around him," Dawn says. Nice, indeed. Marvin says JJ's a character (true) and Jason's boring (also true).

More hot tub antics at the mansion, and Jinelle can't stand Eian right now. She confronts him later, and his words aren't really working, especially with Ananda within an earshot. Eian just calls it "flirting with a pretty face". Yeah, I think you just killed it, pal.

Jason, JJ, Marvin, and Dawn ride back to the mansion from their date, but first, Dawn has to make a stop-over and lose some baggage, because she has that power to drop anyone at any time. Anyway, driver stops, Dawn gets uncomfortable, and she drops off her luggage.. namely 180 pounds of Jason. Yeah, he gets to walk home... Okay... This week's lesson: "A clucker will eliminate himself." Just keep it real here.

Dawn's been spending a lot of time with Chyno, and the girlfriends are starting to notice. What I'm starting to notice is that Jinelle can't do her own makeup to save her own life. You know, you think that a model would know these things. You honestly do. But back to Chyno, who's the subject of conversation with the girls.

Play-Op: With Jason getting kicked to the curb last night, you guys are just learning how much game my girl Dawn's got. You all know you can't play a player. Eleven of you now remain, and tonight, one of you will be eliminated. Jinelle and Ananda will nominate two of you for potential elimination, and Dawn will select one player who will be eliminated. Understood? Poolside in one hour.

Marvin's on pins and needles. Byron has to fight off the trash situation. Kyle is just clueless. Going into tonight's firing squad. Jinelle chooses Kyle ("His game is weak."); Ananda, of course, chooses... Chyno? Apparently flirting with your girl's best friend is second only to getting too comfortable in your game. But Dawn has the final say...

After Kyle and Chyno have theirs. Kyle wants to observe some more before he can strike. Chyno has been on a level with her, but he's not ready to take it up a notch.

In the end, it's not a nice-guy contest, and for nice-guy Kyle, it's game over, player. And I just noticed the license plate: "X PLAYER". Still doesn't change my opinion of the show, though.

Next week, the full Monty... Not necessarily what I wanted to see... Play on, players.

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