"I've Been Known to
Break Up Relationships"
- August 10
Last week, Federico was the first player to be sent
packing, leaving 12 players, three playerettes, and one
Player Operator (heretofore known as "The Play-Op") to
guide us through 60 minutes of dating show, as Dawn
recalls why she nominated intelligent Marvin only to
keep him around. She thinks he could be player material.
Good thought, as Marvin decides to step up his game.
you'll compete in your second challenge, the Hot Shot
Slam Dunk Competition. Make sure to bring your A-game to
the court to win a date with Dawn. I'll text-message
Dawn with instructions. Good luck, players.
First thing on Alex's
mind: "I need some sneakers." He heads down to the beach
to meet the girls... without his sneaks. First up:
qualifying. Slam-Dunk competition. Because this is
streetball, and the rule is don't just win, look good
doing it. The six players with the best ball-handling
skill will play each other, three on three. Winners get
a date with Dawn.
Ball in. We're either a)
really tame, b) really lame, or c) Eian, who just plain
sucked. Or d) blindfolded and perfect (Bryan). Then JJ
comes and hammers the skill down. Ananda picks Acie,
Bryan, and Trever, while Jinelle picks Marvin, JJ, and
Jason. Clock at five minutes and... cue the professional
ballers. Yeah, you thought this was going to be easy,
didn't you? Not on my watch, friend, we've got Ruth
Riley, Deanna Nolan, and USA superstar Swin Cash of the
WNBA Detroit Shock in the house.
First off: Shock vs. Red
(JJ, Marvin, and Jason). Clock still at 5:00... Go! And
can you say "schooled?" At 2:38, the team scores 6, all
by Marvin. They end up with 10. Blue (Acie, Bryan, and
Trever) on the court now... The only points Acie manages
to put up are a perfect 10... on Ananda's short shorts.
"That ain't coaching. That's a distraction!" Add that to
a few long bricks, and the red easily takes this one,
10-8. MVP: Marvin, of course.
So what are the girls up
to now that it's night? Slumber party with some of the
guys. It keeps JJ up, so he goes to check out the
action... only to become part of said action. What
happens next should never be attempted without parental
supervision. You know the old "pour the hot wax on the
naked body" thing? Well, JJ and Eian got on the wrong
end on that one.
3:37am, as Eian starts
having his way with Ananda (as much as can be gotten
away with on TV, at least). Eian thought she was really
digging it? She wasn't. She leaves, and makes Eian
leave, too. Dawn puts it best: "Eian better watch his
back, because my girls have mine."
Meanwhile Chyno and Dawn
snuggle all night. Alex breaks it up with breakfast. JJ
thinks Alex will stay around a bit because of that.
Ananda, on the other hand, thinks that Chyno and Dawn
are starting to hook up. Too soon? Maybe. JJ sleep-spies
on the happy couple. Obviously, it's time to step up
your game, as Chyno puts it. "My man Chyno," Byron says,
"he's bragging right now."
Dawn starts giving
orders to clean the kitchen up, because let's face it...
it's ridiculous right now. Byron takes his order to take
the trash out the only way he can... Leaving. "He's
digging his own grave," Kyle says. And he just keeps
digging... and digging... and digging...
7:01pm and somebody's
got a date to go on. Namely, Jason the Salesman,
arrogant Marvin, and JJ, the guy who adds spice to
everything. Sushi ensues, as Dawn rolls onto JJ's arm.
Meanwhile JJ blows his sake bomb. But Dawn likes that,
so it's all good. Marvin scores with flowers... does he
ever. Dawn tries to get some justification for his
arrogance. Marvin calls it confidence. "I can say that
he's gained some brownie points, but I can't say that
he's redeemed himself, because I still don't like
Jason tries to outdo him
during dessert. "The first date of more to come" written
in... I think it's chocolate... There's something you
don't see every day. "Oh, that's kinda corny." Yeah. JJ
has no problem with it. He just removes the corny part,
And, because we can and
we haven't done it yet, it's Jacuzzi time with JJ and
Dawn running and/or "vertical" shagging on the beach
afterwards. "She was nice," JJ said. "He's so untouched.
I love being around him," Dawn says. Nice, indeed.
Marvin says JJ's a character (true) and Jason's boring
More hot tub antics at
the mansion, and Jinelle can't stand Eian right now. She
confronts him later, and his words aren't really
working, especially with Ananda within an earshot. Eian
just calls it "flirting with a pretty face". Yeah, I
think you just killed it, pal.
Jason, JJ, Marvin, and
Dawn ride back to the mansion from their date, but
first, Dawn has to make a stop-over and lose some
baggage, because she has that power to drop anyone at
any time. Anyway, driver stops, Dawn gets uncomfortable,
and she drops off her luggage.. namely 180 pounds of
Jason. Yeah, he gets to walk home... Okay... This week's
lesson: "A clucker will eliminate himself." Just keep it
Dawn's been spending a
lot of time with Chyno, and the girlfriends are starting
to notice. What I'm starting to notice is that Jinelle
can't do her own makeup to save her own life. You know,
you think that a model would know these things. You
honestly do. But back to Chyno, who's the subject of
conversation with the girls.
Play-Op: With Jason
getting kicked to the curb last night, you guys are just
learning how much game my girl Dawn's got. You all know
you can't play a player. Eleven of you now remain, and
tonight, one of you will be eliminated. Jinelle and
Ananda will nominate two of you for potential
elimination, and Dawn will select one player who will be
eliminated. Understood? Poolside in one hour.
Marvin's on pins and
needles. Byron has to fight off the trash situation.
Kyle is just clueless. Going into tonight's firing
squad. Jinelle chooses Kyle ("His game is weak.");
Ananda, of course, chooses... Chyno? Apparently flirting
with your girl's best friend is second only to getting
too comfortable in your game. But Dawn has the final
After Kyle and Chyno
have theirs. Kyle wants to observe some more before he
can strike. Chyno has been on a level with her, but he's
not ready to take it up a notch.
In the end, it's not a
nice-guy contest, and for nice-guy Kyle, it's game over,
player. And I just noticed the license plate: "X
PLAYER". Still doesn't change my opinion of the show,
Next week, the full
Monty... Not necessarily what I wanted to see... Play