Love to Interrupt
The DiGeorge Files
It ain't your father's Olympics
as four fake fraternities and sororities fight for a shot at a
real trip to the Greek island of Mykonos.
Recaps by Gordon Pepper, GSNN
Host: George Gray
Commentators: Petros Papadakis, Daphne Brogdon
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, National Lampoon
Productions, GSN Originals
Airs: Tuesdays at 11:00pm ET on GSN
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Episode 1 - July 13
Here's the good news - we have the Greek Games, which
has the potential to be Knockout, or at least Almost
Anything Goes or MXC. The bad news - it's being run by
GSN, which means that it will probably be more like last
year's pale imitation of Battle of the Network Stars.
The good news - we have George Gray, the very funny guy
who did The Weakest Link for syndication and was the
only reason why Todd TV was worth watching. The bad news
- the last time we saw Mr. Gray on GSN, we got Extreme
Gong. We'll see if we get a hit or a gong as we watch
We start with George, who says that this is the 182nd
version of the Greek Games. Uhhh.... ok. He also says
that four fraternities and four sororities will be
competing in 'very extreme, borderline illegal,
quasi-athletic events'. The grand prize - a trip to the
very real island of Mykonos! Well, it beats a set of
Greek letter jackets, doesn't it?
Lets see the teams...
Team #1 - The jocks of Delta Omega Gamma - They are the
Delta Dogs. "'Balco, baby, Balco."
Team #2 -The nerds of Zeta Tau - or The Zits. I
actually know some real people from the real Zeta Tau
fraternity, and if they saw that these jokers were
representing their fraternity, they'd clobber them.
Team #3 - Alpha Sigma Sigma - the preps on the campus
who call themselves the Alpha Males. If you take
the Acronyms from their name, you would think that some
of the National Lampoonites may have had problems with
preppy people in their childhood days. Let it out, man,
let it all out.
Team #4 - This team from Nu Sigma Tau are in camouflage
togas, and they call themselves the Nasty Boys.
We then get images of them lifting up their togas and
showing us their loincloths. That's pretty nasty.
and the chic... I mean Sororities.
Team #1 - Kappa Upsilon Tau - The Kuties
Team #2 - The Foreign Exchange Girls of Iota Nu Gamma,
or the Ingas. They must come from Sweden. Inga says
good, ya, ya, ya.
Team #3 - The Hotties from Beta Chi Moo are called the
Buxoms, They certainly are - down to the loincloths and
Madonna-like cones sticking out of the top part.
Team #4 - The Gamma Omega Thetas have decided to punk
out for us. They call themselves The Goths as they stick
their middle fingers out for the cameras. They must be
doing mixers with the Nasty Boys.
1. I'm guessing that none of these Frats/Sororities are
2. 75% can probably be found in imdb.com in the acting
3. If you're going to do that, then just rename the show
Anything Goes or Knockout and call it what it is,
instead of having to fake your way through it.
4. George calls them the finest of college men and women
ever to be assembled in college athletics. If that's the
case, then Ken Jennings worked part-time as a sewer
Mina Dukakis, who is there to light up the 'Olympic
cheese', is being described (as she walks out in a
skimpy USA bikini and a minotaur head on) as half bull,
half woman. So far, this show is all bull. What was I
thinking when I decided to recap this show, Chico?
(C-Note: Dude, you were so wasted that night...)
We get Dr Pluto Hopponpopolis to give the opening
speech, who likes Mina's horns. He's happy that there is
a global audience that loves Mindless Entertainment
(which I am guessing, produces this series). This is
indeed looking pretty mindless so far.
We start with the reclining chair-iot race, and even
George is cringing as he says it. Petros Papadakis
explains that three of the guys will be dragging the
fourth person around a track three times. The fastest
time wins. Immediately, the Alpha Males wreck their
chariot, and they knock themselves out. The Nasty Boys
are knocked out next. The Zits don't get knocked out,
but they can't outrace the Doggies, who finish in first.
We get a profile on Fatticus, who is full of tattoos and
who shows everyone his fat rear end as he his wearing a
shoestring g-string. He does his best naked cowboy
impression and that's all I can stand in this profile.
Imagine the naked cowboy at 280 pounds and flabby and
you'd want to change the channel, too.
It's the women's turn to play - and Daphne Brogdon talks
about musical innertubes. This is played like musical
chairs in the water. Enough said. A set of inner tubes
are in the water and when the music stops, you have to
get into a tube - by any means necessary. Any means
includes licking, as the bad girls lick the cuties out
of the first round. Round 2 starts - and the Inga's
trunks fall off. The Goth chick continues to choke the
Buxom out and the Buxom is eliminated. '"There's nothing
in the rule saying that you can't hammerlock someone."
Well, I guess... In the finals, we have a cat fight, but
no one gets their butt in the tube in the 60 seconds
required, so we get a tie.
After a brief explanation of the Grand Prize, and a
meaningless pre-activity segment, we get an even more
meaningless pizza relay. This is a co-ed event, with the
teams eating pizza as they run. This ought to be a
million laughs - or a million barf bags. Your co-ed
teams - Dogs/Kuties, Alpha Males/Buxoms, Zits/Ingas, and
Nasty Boys/Goth Chicks. Each team gets the same amount
The Zits take the early lead - but the Kutie team takes
it over in the second leg. The Nasty Boys take control
after the third leg and they hold on to the win. The
Zits come in second, the Kuties in third, and the
Alphas, who dropped the pizza all over the track, in
Next up - the belly flop competition. The men belly flop
off of the board while yelling out synonyms to whatever
Daphne yells out. This is as painful as it sounds. The
Alpha Males get 'Jerk,' and they yell out 'A$$hole'. He
gets a 9, 8, 9, (26) in the synonym, and a 10, 8, 10
(28) for the belly flop, for a total of 54. Next up -
the aforementioned Fatticus, who doesn't come up with a
synonym and only 17 on the flop. That's disappointing
for a tub of lard.
The Zits answer 'butt' for the jeer of 'Ass', and that
only gets him a 22. The flop gets him a 21 for a 43
total. Finally, it's up to the Alphas, and the yell of
'Fat' gets a response of 'P&n$s C#ck' Three guesses what
that is. Only a 21 for the synonym and a 24 for the flop
for a score of 45. The Dogs win, then the Alphas, Zits
They have imported in a Greek family to judge. The
family is the Bakiris, who judge from the heart, the
mind, and via philosophical meaning. Apparently, someone
has eaten too many gyros.
What's good to drink with gyros? Mountain Dew! This
plugging has been brought to you by the Mountain Dew
Olympus. The players have 2 minutes to see who can
build the highest Mountain Dew sculpture. No medals, but
a Mountain Dew prize package was at stake - and the
Alphas/Buxoms win it.
Back to the competition - and the next one is the Female
Olive Oil Slide. Whoever can go down the slide award the
furthest wins. the slide is littered with squid. If you
can grab a handful of squid and hold on to it gets a
bonus foot. We start with the Kuties - and they get
42'4" - with a squid. The buxoms get 39' - with a squid.
The Ingas have a major problem, as they can only get
17'. The last chance goes to the Goths - and they get
18' for the Bronze - but the Kuties win the gold. The
secret? No bra. Well, there are things I wouldn't mind
seeing them doing with no bra...
The final event for the episode - The Drag Queen
Obstacle course. Equipped with a wig and a dress. Alphas
- 56 seconds. Nasty Boys - 1:07. Zits - 1:08. Deltas -
After Day 1 -
Deltas - 16
Nasty Boys - 7
Zits - 7
Alphas - 6
Goths - 11
Ingas - 8
Kuties - 6
Buxoms - 4
He get the highlight of today - and then we're done.
My take? This couldn't end quickly enough. I know how
Anthony Rojas felt when he covered All-American girl.
This is sexy and crude - but you can do crude and silly
correctly - like MXC does. This doesn't come close to
MXC and easily gets a worst game of the year nomination.
Mindless Entertainment had a hit with Dodgeball, but a
huge miss here, while National Lampoon continues with
the stinkers. How bad it is? Well, George Gray wasn't
even in the same studio as anyone - he is doing this all
in a different set and narrating the action.
Will the next episode be
the last? We can only hope...