here to view the teams!
October 10, 2001
Well so far its been an
amazing race for 7 teams, but one team is going to find
it a little less amazing as they get eliminated from the
So we start from El Jem - and the teams get a globe and
a word - Tataouine. I'm immediately thinking that one of
the obstacles may be having to find remnants of Jabba
The Hut somewhere in the desert (and I find out later
that I'm right - sort of). Team Guido takes the lead,
followed by The Frat Pack and The Mom/Daughter team.
So how long does that alliance last between the Greeks
and Mom/Daughter? Well, after they get into the car,
they speed past the husband and husband team into first,
leaving the women in the dust, so the answer is not
incredibly long. But all of the teams figure out that
Tatouine is a place, and they get there without much of
a time delay.
And the three teams are all ahead of the rest of the
pack. Paul and Amie get bonus time, since they got
screwed up by a production problem (those wacky
production gremlins - they cause my computer to crash
and my e-mail to be wiped, I think), and move up to
fourth. Then the Lawyers, F/M, and Karyn and Lenny.
The next segment is all about how close everyone has
gotten. Barrrrrrrrrrf. In the interest of my sanity (and
everyone else's) I'll skip most of it - except to say
that they all love each other (except for the Frank and
Margarita, since Frank wants to win and Margarita wants
to love, and the lawyers, who are bitching and moaning
about how nothing has gone their way the enitre trip and
how they're going to be in last after this episode. You
guys weren't bitching when you were in first, were you?)
Detour time - either play a time-consuming audio game at
Ksar Hasada (which was used in the film Star Wars - see
I was sort of close) or go to an easier place but a good
half hour away from the competition. Everyone picks the
audio game, which requires a team to find the second set
of a walkie talkie unit. The Frat Pack quickly find the
other set, and after seeing the Guidos arrive, pull a
play from Lando and Carla's handbook on Lost (Episode 1)
and get on the roof (which is nowhere near the
transmitters). Thinking that they are spying, Team Guido
jump on the roof to start looking, which allows all of
the teams to catch up to them as the Frat Pack run away
and increase their lead.
In the rest of the team cluster, Nancy and Emily
maintain third, and Paul and Amie stay in fourth but the
skew changes after that. Frank and Margarita are in
fifth, followed by Lenny and Karyn, and the Lawyers are
in the daunting position of the basement. They can't use
the fast forward, because they already used it, to they
have to catch up the normal way. (By the way, this is
the second straight episode that they haven't mentioned
the Fast Forward at all. Did they phase it out while no
one was looking?)
After Ksar Hadada, the teams have to follow a path of
yellow stones to take to their next destination. You
know the first segment wheere eveyone was loving each
other and CBS was trying to make feel good tv? Not this
time around. Now, its the bitching session, where teams
are bitching about losing first (Bill and Joe) or Their
relationships (Frank and Margarita/Lenny and Karyn/Nancy
and Emily/Paul and Amie) or finishing out of the race
altogether (Lawyers, of course), or bitching because
they enjoy to bitch each other out (Drew and Kevin - aka,
the Frat Pack).
But the most bitchingest thing in this race right now
has to be Amie's stomach. Amie is doubled up in the back
tossing her cookies while Paul is wandering aimlessly in
A split dumbass award goes to Amie's stomach, for
breaking down in the middle of this important journey,
and Amie, who stupidly wants to continue, and Paul who
stupidly lets her continue.
So coming down the stretch is a roadblock - one person
has get the team to the Pit Stop using a camel and a
compass. Drew feels screwed that Kevin got the camel.
Actually, I feel more sorry for the camel. Who knows
what frat people do if they had a camel at their
party...they bitch and moan and reclaim first place.
Team Guido (bitching more about losing the lead than
about the camel) come in second, followed by Nancy and
Emily and the Lawyers. Frank and Margarita and Lenny and
Karyn come in 5th and 6th, repsectively. Paul and Amie
don't even make it to the camel, since they get so lost
that they find the flag in the desert and drive to it.
It may have been better that way. Amie probably would
have yakked all over the camel, and from what I heard,
yak and camel don't get along that well. But they do
finish in last and they get to go Iloveyoubuhbye.
Welcome back to another
episode of The Amazing Race. Last time, we have teams
with new nicknames - The Frat Pack are now The Fatties,
Team Guido is now Public Enemy Number one, and Paul and
Amie are team Iloveyoubuhbye. What is in store for the
So we are now in the Sahara Desert, where the teams move
to Gabes in Tunis because of an impending sandstorm that
threatens to engulf the camp that the teams are staying
at. The teams have to go to the Palace in Tunis. The
Frat Pack start first - and try to look for a taxi in
the middle of the night. The husband and husband couple
are next, with both teams sniping at each other while
they're looking for a cab.
Both teams find a cab - before Nancy and Emily show up -
they are smart and walk to a Taxi shelter. Rob and
Brennan are next, who are all praise for Nancy and
Emily. 'They are kicking butt - they are kicking our
butt now' Frank and Margarita are next, followed by
Lenny and Karyn, who now call themselves the buttheads.
Well, that's rather appropriate.
Team Guido finds the clue - which is to go to Rome and
to find a spot outside of the Colosseum. The Frat Pack
are right behind them. Team Guido get the tickets - and
cut past half of the line in doing so. They tell the
airline people about the other contestants, and the
flights are mysteriously full by the time the rest of
the teams get there. All of the other teams who arrive
at the airport get shut out of the tickets, and they all
realize that the
excuse that they are getting is a bunch of steaming
monkey crap. Gee, can Team Guido make the bullseye on
your butt any bigger?
The Frat Pack do finagle their way on a plane - and
bring the mom and daughter team and the lawyers with
them. Not only do they get the plane, they get the
flight to arrive there 3 hours before the husband and
husband team. The Frat Pack give a necklace (his
girlfriends necklace) as thanks to the airline people -
awwww. Meanwhile, Karyn finds out that if they wait,
they can get a direct flight - which will also get them
quicker than the gay couple. Frank and Margarita get a
direct flight to England and they leave first. The three
teams go in front of Bill and Joe, who get a nomination
for dumbass move of the episode by deciding to play
hardball and attempt to sabotage the teams by blocking
the way to the airplane and slowing down the teams into
missing their flight. They even push the mom out of the
way, which pisses the rest of the teams off, (and gets
team Greek threatening to break Team Guido's legs), but
all of the teams do make their flight. When they all get
back to the states, you have a feeling that the Lawyers
will be trying to patent Joe and Bill dart boards?
Lenny and Karyn do get the direct flight and they are
now the leaders. Team Guido also makes it to Rome. The
other three teams run into disaster - their adjoining
flights have been cancelled, so now they have to take a
flight to Milan. F/M runs into an even bigger disaster -
they are stuck in Geneva until 7am the next day because
their flight also gets stuck - and this could constitute
the dumbass move of the episode.
Lenny and Karyn get there first and find the flags. Team
Guido is in hot pursuit. The 3 team alliance take a
train to get to Rome. Frank and Margarita do some
sleeping. There is a detour to take - either find a foot
(and walk to the next clue) or find a hoof - with taxis
right nearby. Joe and Bill tell their taxi to wait there
- but its no use to them, since the places where they
need to go are closed. The triple team threat get into
Rome - and so do Frank and Margarita - who get there at
9, which is ok since nothing opens for them until 10am.
Nancy and Emily find and tail the Guidos - who run into
the frat pack.
You want to know how much these teams love each other?
Let's listen in...
Guidos: "Good Morning"
Frat Pack "Don't even think about saying good morning.
Never say good morning to us again".
Can't you just feel the love?
Meanwhile, the triple threat are staring at the Guidos.
Team F/M find the alliance, who tell them about how the
Guidos were trying to stiff them from the flight. Lenny
and Karyn find the alliance, and then they find Team
Guido, who feed them a line of steaming monkey crap.
Lenny and Karyn decide to go to the foot and get the
directions to go to the Pagani Auto Factory - which they
have to get to via the train. While Lenny and Karyn go
to the train station via the subway, the other teams run
to the hoof - and run out to the taxis to get the train.
All of the teams take a taxi to get to the train station
- except Lenny and Karyn, who say that they may have
gone the wrong way - but it was actually a production
screw up, and it costs them a train - but they do get
extra time that will be made up. While the train has
stopped in Bologna, Team Guido take a cab - which the
other teams accuse of cheating, since the clue says take
a train, not get there via taxi. The husband and husband
team say that all is fair in love and Amazing Races. F/M
also take a cab over there.
Once the triple alliance get there, there are three
teams - and 2 taxis. The Frat Pack and the Lawyers take
cabs - Nancy and Emily will wait for another cab -
hoping that they don't come in last - and that could be
a nominee for the dumbass move of the episode.
Frank and Margarita get there first - and get a
roadblock - one person drives a small car to a small
village (there is NO way that I'm pronouncing the name
of the village). The map is written in only Italian -
but Frank hires a Taxi driver so he can follow him to
the village. The other person on the team gets to ride
in style in a sportscar going over 100 miles an hour.
Team Guido gets the car next, and the Guido gets lost
immediately. Frank gets out of the car and they come in
first by a wide margin. Team Guido do manage to come in
second. The Lawyer gets lost (figures) and has to ask
for directions. The taxi finally comes for Nancy and
Emily and they get into the car - and the mom
immediately becomes lost.
Lenny and Karyn finally get there, but don't forget that
they get extra time. The Lawyers and the Frat Pack both
get lost - but the Frat Packer gets some bicycle
assisted aid. The Lawyers figure it out first and come
in third. Team Greek comes in fourth. Lenny and Karyn
finally get the car - and its a question of who finishes
first between the two women. the mom and daughter team
do - and supposedly finish in fifth - but do they finish
ahead enough of Lenny and Karyn by enough time? (Don't
forget that they do get extra time because of the
production problem). Karyn does get help and they do
make it there...but they come in last.
But, surprises for everyone. This is a non-elimination
point, so NO ONE gets eliminated. In addition to that,
Lenny and Karyn get more time, and Bill and Joe and F/M
do get penalized for taking the cab - which puts
everyone in a clump. So we have love for everyone this
episode - except Bill and Joe, who do win the Dumbass
move of the episode. By trying to block everyone from
making the plane. They have officially become the
running bulls-eye for all of the teams. Will the
competitive drive to win ultimately be their downfall?
Welcome to the
Pre-Halloween episode of The Amazing Race. In this
episode, 2 people will be dressing up as an eliminated
team. Which people? Well let's find out...
We start the episode by everyone getting pissed at The
Husband and Husband team for their shenanigans from last
episode. Team Guido has now gotten the name 'Team Bert
and Ernie' from the rest of the teams. Well if that is
true, then what does that make their furry pal Grover?
(Oh, I better stop now before the Children's Television
Workshop come after me with a blunt wooden mallet).
Frank and Margarita start out first and they have a
detour - either ride a set of bikes to the next
destination - or get a taxi ride there - after spending
some time in an airplane glider. Frank and Margarita
decide C. None of the above and use the Fast Forward
(after four episodes without it - we finally get to see
it) - this allows a team to go straight to the end of
the lap - but a team can only use it once ever. The
objective is to find the Fast Forward in the moat by
Ferrara Castle. Frank, who speaks Italian, talks to the
driver who knows where the castle is, so away they go.
Team Guido decide to go bike riding. The Lawyers take
the glide route, as do the Frat Pack, who don't want to
get stuck with Bert and Ernie (though Im not sure the
Greeks have enough coordination to ride a bike). Nancy
and Emily decide to go biking, as do Lenny and Karyn,
who have called themselves 'Team Butthead' after last
episode (I'm not feeling much love here - are you?)
Frank and Margarita find the fast forward - which will
send them to Agra, India - they go to the airport
without much problem and they are on their way to New
Delhi. The bicyclists are on their way to nowhere, as
they are all following each other and are getting lost
in the process. The Frat Boys are on their way to having
some donuts and coffee, as the Lawyers get to the
gliders first and all the Greeks can do is to wait their
turn until the Lawyers are done. Gee Nancy and Emily
look real happy to see the Guidos, don't they?
Everyone is getting lost on the bikes - or learning how
to unsuccessfully ride them. The Lawyers get out of the
plane (If you haven't heard 'One Million Lawyers' by Tom
Paxton yet - please do so - you'll really appreciate it
now..) Both Frat boys get on the plane - and go flying -
does that plane really look sturdy enough to hold both
Team Guido gets to the end first - and find the next
destination - Red Fort Marketplace, India. There is no
flight directly there, and when they get to the airport,
they see the Lawyers are right behind them. Since there
is no direct flight, the Guidos decide to take a train
to get to Milan airport. The lawyers catch 'Bert and
Ernie' and take the same train.
Meanwhile, Team Familia Femalia (yes, Nancy and Emily
are the only dual female team left) and Team Butthead
finally find the clue to get to India - but they get
there before the Frat Boys. The 3 of those teams team up
to get the plane. The 3 teams try to stall while Kevin
is getting the flight info - and they're stalling long
enough to bring the train conductor down to bitch-slap
all of them. They successfully stall, though, as Nancy
and Kevin get the information, and away they go.
Let's see what going on with Frank and Margarita. Team
F/M are already in New Delhi, and get to Agra, and are
in first. And thats all we get to see of them this
episode. Yee Haw. NEXT!
The new triple threat alliance get to Milan airport and
fly to Copenhagen. They run into the Lawyers and Team
Guido - so the other 5 teams are together when they get
to New Delhi. Such love and togetherness (awwwwww).
The teams find out the ugly truth about India - they are
a very poor people who, when they see toursist, see 2
things, a free ride to go anywhere, and free money. All
of the teams get approached by the teams - and none of
them pay them money. Wonder where we get the term 'Ugly
It's a ride to the finish as we get to see cows, and
arches, and bikini thong-wearing beauty queens (ok,
maybe not the beauty queens). The lawyers and Team
Butthead get stopped for the toll - or a toll hike.
Meanwhile, kids stop by and ask Nancy and Emily for
money - well maybe New York isn't as different as New
Delhi, after all.
This Roadblock is simple - hire a rickshaw and find a
shopkeeper, who has the directions to the final
destination. After a lovely montage of people running
around in rickshaws and Indians waving for the camera,
team Guido gets a sculpture of the Taj Mahal, which is
where to go - Taj Khema Hotel (near the Taj Majal), is
the final destination. Karyn finds it next, then the
Lawyers and Team Guido. Nancy finally finds it - but she
is in dead last. Can she and Emily make up the time?
Team Butthead have to tell some Indian families that
they aren't getting a free trip to Taj Mahal. But Nancy
makes the runner-up dumbass move of the episode by
taking wayyyy too long and asking the natives where to
go, instead of going to the taxi stand and asking them
(they should have some sort of idea where the Taj Mahal
is, shouldn't they?). Nancy knows she took too long too,
as she has a bout with angst right before the next
Emily has been waiting for 9 years for her mom...well
maybe not, but she's been waiting for a while while the
rest of the teams go by. Surprisingly enough (or maybe
not), the Taxi drivers don't know much more than the
contestants apparently, as they are all clueless. The
kids and adolescents are looking for money and Emily is
calling the Indian people bad names and are making fun
of them as she and Nancy both break down in the car
together. The sympathetic Indians (who don't realize
that they are being made fun of) push the car on the way
Lenny and Karyn's Taxi driver makes the dumbass move of
the episode by not knowing where they are and trying to
milk more money from them in order to get to the right
direction. All of the teams are having problems with the
taxi drivers as none of them know where to go. Both the
Lawyers and the Frat Pack switch drivers but Team Guido
is the only group to find a competent driver and they
come in second place. The Lawyers, who about to write
their own vacation pass out of there, come in third and
team Greek come in fourth. Nancy and Emily, who also
thought they were toast, come in fifth and scream and
hug each other (awwwww) - and get a round of applause.
Not so lucky are the last place Team Butthead, who can
now start looking for Beavis, since they now have plenty
of time to do it.
Whereas Paul and Amie's trip ended in I love you, I love
you too, kiss kiss kiss, Lenny and Karyn blame the other
person for the fact that they are in last and realize
that they are 2 different people. Iloveouybuhbye to the
team, and Iloveyoubuhbye to the relationship. I don't
think this is what the producers had in mind.
To be continued...
It's the Halloween
season - let's see how our teams could be dressed up:
Frank and Margarita - Al and Peg Bundy
Rob and Brennan - Daniel Webster and Max Devlin (Yes,
they're both fictional lawyers)
Nancy and Emily - Wynonna and Naomi Judd
Joe and Bill - Bert and Ernie (of course) or Elton John
and George Michaels
Kevin and Drew - Mr. Clean and Telly Savalas
Lenny and Karyn - Beavis and Butthead - or Tweedledum
Let's see who may be masquerading as tickets to the
Early Show circuit this week...
We start in Agra, India. The teams need to find a box
located somewhere in the Taj Mahal. Frank and Margarita
get a whopping 11 hour headstart - but with the Taj not
open until 6am, the whopping 11 hour lead gets turned
into a teeny weeny 45 minute lead. Margarita feels that
unlike Lenny and Karyn, who watched their relationship
go bye bye, their relationship has gotten stronger.
Frank agrees as they've grown together (awwwwwwww...barf).
6am and Frank and Margarita get into the Taj - and
immediately start to argue.
6:48 - Joe and Bill start out - and get stalled - or
should I say, their taxi gets stalled. The lawyers leave
15 minutes later and get a taxi that works - but they
are going the wrong way. D'oh! Frank and Margarita find
the box and go to the Palace on the winds of Jaipur -
150 miles away. They can take a expensive but fast taxi,
or a slow and cheap bus. The teams get no additional
money, so teams are thinking about taking the slow bus.
Joe and Bill unsuccessfully try to sneak in - they get
delayed while they get the tickets - but Rob and
Brennan's taxi driver has no clue where he's going and
winds up going back the other way to the taxi stand to
get another driver who supposedly knows where he's going
OPINION: I work in NYC, where there is a horrific
stereotype against foreign immigrant drivers (especially
Indians and Middle Easterners) because they get typecast
as not having any clue where they are going. This show
is really not helping to break that stereotype, since
how are you supposed to trust a driver to take you
anywhere in a different country when they don't even
know where IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY they are going?
7:44 -the Frat Pack get going out of the gates.
Meanwhile, the husband and husband team realizes that
they are running out of money. The lawyers find the box
- and miss the bus, forcing them and Joe and Bill to
travel together. Margarita and Frank are in a bus ahead
of them, still in the lead.
8:15 - Nancy and Emily are the last team out - wanting
to shock everyone even more. The Frat Pack decide to go
inside - too bad the box and the flag are outside. That
allows the familia femalia to catch up - but the Greeks
find the box first - and don't tell Nancy and Emily
where it is. Well, that went that alliance down the
toilet. The mom and daughter team find a taxi and speed
past the greeks, who lost their route marker. Doh!
Bill and Joe, who took the bus, are out of money, Team
Greek are out of road marker - but they find it and get
going. Nancy and Emily are out of gas, as they waste
time and the Greeks go past them. Joe and Bill talk
about how they have always been in the top tier - only
they and Nancy and Emily have Fast Forwards left to use.
The lawyers take the taxi and move ahead of everyone to
a detour - they have to find a wise man by either boat
(faster) or elephant (slower). The lawyers decide to go
with the safer (and slower) elephant. Team FM gets there
second, followed by Bert and Ernie, who take the boat.
The Greeks also go boat, and Nancy and Emily say screw
it, we're in last, let's play with the elephants.
The Lawyers get to the area first, but its Frank and
Margarita who find the wise man first. The Karni Mata
Temple of Deshnoke in Bikaner is the next destination.
You better make the first bus - because its a six hour
wait until the next one, which would pretty much
Team Guido get there next - and meet the Greeks coming
as they are going. The Guidos, who don't want to smell
like elephant, are in fourth, and Nancy and Emily are
bringing up the elephant rear. The greeks pass Team
Guido, who are starting to get really nervous. Nancy and
Emily, who aren't very nervous since they know they're
in dead last, are enjoying themselves with the wise man
- tea and crumpets, anyone?
Frank and Margarita get to the bus depot in first place.
The lawyers are looking for another team just to
validate they they got on the right train. Team Guido is
fending off the money-hungry kids to also get on the
bus. Joe and Bill get off of the now stalled out bus to
get a rickshaw, and Nancy and Emily are on the way to
find the train. Team Greek barely get on the train in
time, but both Joe and Bill and Nancy and Emily miss the
train - and now have to wait 6 hours for the next one.
So much for staying in the top half for the duration of
the trip, huh, Joe and Bill? This seems like a neck and
neck race for explusion between team pink dresses and
team pink triangle.
They get to the temple - the lovely temple of rats -
which immediately freaks out the Greeks, who discuss the
religious sacredity of rats. Margarita decides she wants
to play with the rats - what a gal.
Meanwhile, Nancy and Emily, who are still stuck at the
station, take 90 minutes to buy tickets because the men
would not sell tickets to women. They meet Joe and Bill,
who are happy to see a familiar face, as in the words of
Emily - 'I'm sure they are happier to see them than they
are to see us', but the men are sort of happy - since
they know that they still have a chance to not get
The Greeks are playing cards and are befriending the
Indians. The Guidos and Femme Fatales are taking the
second bus, where the guys are in first class and the
women are in skanky class. Meanwhile, at Bikaner
Junction, Frank and Margarita take a cab, while the
Lawyers and Greeks are right on their tail.
Welcome to Deshnoke - land of many rats. There is a
roadblock - go find a bowl with the flag - and don't
step on the hundreds of rats that are hanging out in the
temple with them. All of the gung ho-ness that Margarita
had is now gone once she has seen the first 10 rats. The
other teams aren't so thrilled either...
Team Guido and Nancy and Emily make it to the pass as
Margarita is the first person to find the flag. She is
terrified of rats but gets help from the natives. Her
stalling allows the other 2 teams to catch up and they
together to a pit stop in a hotel in Bikenar. They all
wake up their sleeping drivers to get to the hotel. All
3 teams are exhausted - the Greeks get the facial body
paint and wind up in first. Frank and Margarita come in
second, and the lawyers in third.
The main chase is for last - Team Guido (according to
the rest of the teams, the 2 legged rats) against Nancy
and Emily. The Guidos are in front with Nancy and Emily
behind - and right behind as Emily gets there 30 seconds
after the Guidos - now its a race between the 2 drivers.
Which driver makes the dumbass move of the episode?
It's Nancy and Emily's driver - who goes past the Hotel
and Joe and Bill sneak by them to come in fourth. Nancy
and Emily come in last - but this leg is also a
non-elimination leg, so they are all alive for another
day. But Emily realizes that she may need to be a little
underhanded in order to stick around. Will the women
move to the dark side?
To be continued...