July 24, 2003

Last time: Chip/Reichen try to save a buck, the toll is taken on Millie and Chuck, Jon/Al finish first because their shooting doesn't suck, and Kelly/Jon experience a lot of luck - they're still in it, despite finishing last, because it's a non elimination leg.

(roll titles)

The clowns and C/R are neck and neck, both leaving at 2.03 am. They have to get to Poring Hot Springs, where they'll find their next clue.

Millie/Chuck are third to leave, at 2.19. Millie says that they haven't had much sleep since the last leg. David/Jeff are fourth at 2.50.

We see that C/R and the clowns are deterred somewhat by deer in the middle of the road. Jon/Kelly are last to go at 3.39 - and Jon wastes away by trying to haggle with the taxman for a better price. Buddy, it's four in the morning. Just go.

Chip/Reichen are first to the springs at 5.02, but too bad for them that they can't get in until 6.30. Everyone catches up, save for Jon/Kelly.

All teams run in, drop their backpacks, and start running on the rope bridge. Chuck/Millie are first to the clue box. They now have to drive 145 miles to the Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation, where they'll find their next route marker. And they get a map to boot. The show knows no limits!

All other teams then follow Chuck/Millie in getting the clue, while Jon/Kelly are getting out of their cab. At which point Jon stops to take a leak. No, seriously.

They get into the hot springs... and promptly are lost.

David/Jeff are first out to the cars, Millie/Chuck are second, with Chip and Reichen in third and the clowns in fourth.

There's a slight problem with the cars though - they're fogging up quickly. The defrost doesn't work that well, but Chip/Reichen took the time to put it on before they started, so they're able to pass everyone else.

In the cars, Millie/Chuck are very very tired. But they seem okay. Jon/Kelly get a nice "Stairmaster workout" as they are still hopefully lost.

After the break, they finally find it. Kelly tells Jon just to open the fast forward. To claim it, they have to find the Sepilok orangutan reserve, and each team member must feed two pieces of fruit to the wild orangutan, after hiking deep into the forest.

Jon states that "the idiots are back". In reference to themselves, that is.

Chip realizes that he and Reichen are heading in the direction of the fast forward. They decide to continue instead of backtracking... which really wont help the case of Jon/Kelly, who declared it's "do or die" time. Umm, that'd be the last one then, love.

The clowns are first to the palm oil plantation, which turns out to be a DETOUR.

CHOP: use local tools to chop down palm nut bunches which have a clue envelope attached. One out of every four has the clue, the other three are empty.

HAUL: push 25 pound nut bunches in a wheelbarrow and then throw them into a transport trailer. They have to throw up 25.

Clowns go for HAUL. They find it's not easy as they're cumbersome.

But at least they're at the detour. Chuck/Millie are going nowhere fast. They get out and ask for directions, but it doesn't help. And they're emotionally drained to boot.

But at least they're as not as thick as David/Jeff. They pass the clue wheelbarrow several times. They finally find it and decide to HAUL.

Clowns are first finished. It's time to drive themselves to the Gamantong Caves. Dave/Jeff are very proud of themselves when they're done that they didn't picked the wrong numbered truck (see also: fish pen, choosing a marked). In any case they're done.

Jon/Kelly are on their way to the FF. They say it doesn't make sense for the other teams to grab it. But that's exactly what Chip/Reichen are on their way to do. Chip/Reichen both agree the hike is beautiful. Chuck/Millie start with HAUL at the detour. Then they switch to CHOP. And then back to HAUL.

Chip/Reichen have reached the orangutans and after some deep thoughts, they get the FF directions to the pit stop. They have to get to the Sepilok Nature Resort. They wish they weren't racing, otherwise they'd stay with them for a week.

Back to Chuck/Millie, the stubbornness continues, and they wonder what this will do to their relationship. They do finish the task though.

The team of Kelly/Jon arrive at the nature reserve to find that the FF is gone! Kelly starts babbling, and Jon swears at her. She's not amused. Jon speculates that Chuck/Millie asked the clowns to FF. Kelly tells him that they should just finish the races as best they can.

Chuck/Millie are having problems reading the map. They actually drive by the turnoff sign, oh dear.

The clowns are the first to the caves. It's a DETOUR. One member has to climb a traditional fifty foot rattan ladder in order to get to the top where a clue is hanging in a basket (attached to a horizontal ladder).

Jon does it for the clowns. It's a nice view. Jon comments that some of the ladder rungs have poo on them ("It's like pooville!" to quote another episode), which he's not very fond of. He's the first to finish. They now will drive themselves to the Sepilok Nature Resort. They pass D/J on their way out.

Chip/Reichen are the first to the pit stop. And they've won a Latin American vacation to enjoy after the race.

Jeff is climbing up for his team. Millie/Chuck are still hopelessly lost. And Jon/Kelly are finally at the detour - they've gone for HAUL. Jeff is done the roadblock. Back at the plantation, Jon/Kelly can't see the number on the side of the truck that matches their wheelbarrow. Kelly asks "how are we so stupid?"

Ah, I have a few suggestions if you'd like...

They decide to switch to CHOP. They get it on the second try. Meanwhile, Chuck/Millie are now officially contestants on NBC's "Lost!" Because they are. Still. Millie realizes that it's generally just a bad day. They both went an hour out of their way - the wrong way. They do finally reach the detour - about twelve seconds before Jon/Kelly do! Ladies and germs, we got ourselves a race!

Jon and Chuck are the appointed members of their teams to do it. Chuck takes a sizeable early lead, but at the top, they're level pegging.

The clowns are second. Chuck and Jon are still neck and neck, but Jon starts to pull away, and Jon/Kelly are the first out of the caves. Kelly is amazed they're back in the race. Frankly, so am I.

On the other hand, Chuck decides to follow Jon/Kelly because that way they can't lose (theoretically).

David/Jeff are third. Jon passes a car, but Chuck can't do the same as he can't find the gear. Jon/Kelly find the turnoff first, and both teams prepare for an all out footrace.

And here it comes... who's it going to be?

I present to you the fourth place team... Kelly and Jon.

Which means Millie/Chuck are the last team to arrive, and they've been eliminated. Millie says that they've learned a lot about each other, and Chuck agrees that they're not sure what turns their relationship will take next.

NEXT TIME: Diving into ice! Diving into new food! Diving into trouble at the North Korean border!

July 31, 2003

Last time: Teams pause to clean their windows. Chip/Reichen play with orangutans, causing Jon/Kelly to undo their fast forward plans. And the stop button applied to Chuck/Millie - they've been eliminated.

(roll titles)

Before we start, congratulations to Amazing Race: they're Emmy nominated! Good luck, guys!

Back to Sepilok now. Reichen/Chip depart at 10.26 pm. They have to find the Pujunsi (sp?) Buddha Temple, and search thousands of tiny figurines for the one with their names on it. It will contain a key that opens a bag, which in turn will give them their next clue.

Chip/Reichen say they have to "watch their backs". They feel there was a sense of peace in the temple. They find the key, which tells them to get to Seoul, South Korea, and find the Seoul tower. Vans leave from the temple for the airport every half hour, but can only carry one team. Chip takes a moment to say a prayer. They leave the temple at midnight.

Jon/Al (go clowns!) depart at 12.56 am. Dave/Jeff are third at 1.11 am. Dave/Jeff say the clowns are their greatest competition. Kelly/Jon are last at 2.42 am.

And lookie here kids, we're back in Kota Kinabalu, albeit at the airport. The ticket agent asks Chip/Reichen when they're at the airport in first "how early must you reach Korea?" Oh, maybe next Thursday... NO, NOW!!! They've got tickets, through Singapore. The clowns do the same. Ditto for Dave/Jeff and Kelly/Jon. This would be bunching, then.

When they get to Singapore, Dave/Jeff purchase a standby tickets for a flight that goes through Hong Kong and gets to Seoul one hour earlier than the others. And so do the clowns. Chip/Reichen take the time waiting for the flight to chow down on burgers.

The lady at Singapore Air says to Dave/Jeff that they bought a ticket but didn't check into their system. Huh? There seems to be some miscommunication - they can't understand what's going on. They persist and both they and the clowns get on the same flight.

Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen take off three and a half hours later.

Dave/Jeff and the clowns arrive in Seoul at 5 am. They decide to make a van caravan to find their clue, which they do, and it tells them to proceed to Rafting Korea in the Sundan Valley - located right near the North/South Korean border. Due to the high cost, they decide to split on a cab.

Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen arrive in South Korea forty minutes later. Chip/Reichen look like they're having problems, which continues for their next destination. They want to find someone who speaks English.

Dave/Jeff's driver stops to ask for directions, which doesn't inspire confidence. Suddenly, they're passing army tanks near the border, which makes them quite nervous.

Chip/Reichen are the first to the valley, although they've no clue how. Jon/Kelly are second, Dave/Jeff are third, and the clowns are last. And it's time for a ROADBLOCK. Very simple. Go for a swim. Oh, and you have to swim under a bunch of ice. Piece of cake. If I can just excuse myself to go get my dry suit... WHAT? I HAVE TO DO IT IN MY SKIVVIES? ON NATIONAL TELEVISION? You've got to be joking.

Oh, wait, you're serious. Chip asks "What are skivvies?" Hardy har har.

As everyone is tense, the clowns break into song and dance. Good on ya, guys. Oh, ladies, for you keeping track:

#1 - Chip: briefs
#2 - Jon: briefs
#3 - David: briefs
#4 - Al: boxers

According to the friends I watch with every week, only Al is the real "man's man".

All teams complete the chilling task as quick as they can, and now have to find the clue box in subway station #228.

And the nice guys that they are, Dave/Jeff almost take off with the taxi that they were sharing with the clowns, but they do hang back eventually, deciding that they will split up when they get back to town.

Reichen/Chip are sitting in first place and sitting in traffic. So is everyone else for that matter. Our leaders get off and start navigating the subway system. The clowns have the same idea. And Kelly/Jon are fighting, Quelle surprise! Dave/Jeff are now on the subway too.

Dave/Jeff ask for directions and... they're wrong. They decide to try another cab. Chip/Reichen are first to the station, but Kelly/Jon are first to find out about the...

DETOUR!

STRONG HAND: break three sets of boards each with your bare hands

STRONG STOMACH: eat a plate of live octopus (their words: 'a Korean delicacy')

Jon/Kelly go for HAND, Reichen/Chip will try STOMACH.

I don't think I've seen bigger eyes then the ones that Chip/Reichen had at this moment, as they realize they're going to be eating octopus.

Dave/Jeff are hopefully lost. Reichen/Chip are having real problems - one of them asks if they're allowed to vomit (answer: no!).

Jon breaks his boards no problem. Kelly... well, she missed the first couple.

In order to finish their meal, Reichen starts throwing back octopus shooters. Not my idea of fun, but it works.

Back at Sir-Chop-A-Lot, Kelly is on her last board and Jon is annoying her. He solves this problem by saying (in reference to the boards) "That's me, hit my face", and it worked. Incidentally, that was the title for this week's episode.

Teams must now drive across town to the Gyongbokgung Palace where they will find the pit stop.

The clowns reach the subway in third. They're going for HAND. Dave/Jeff arrive and go for STOMACH... until they see it, and then switch to HAND.

After some problems, the clowns are off to the palace, and Dave/Jeff finish shortly thereafter quite quickly.

Jon/Kelly are first at the palace, but the pit stop isn't easily found. But Jon seems to make all the right moves, and they're team number one! They've won a Kodak Easy Share camera!

What's that? We're out of them? What? Okay... I guess they can have a Caribbean cruise instead. Chip/Reichen come in second. And there's a race not to be last... and in third... are the clowns!

That means that Dave/Jeff are last... but it's a non elimination leg. That means they live to see another episode... and so will we!

NEXT TIME: Running through airports! Rappelling down buildings! Swimming with sharks!

August 7, 2003

Last time: The roadblock is quite a chill! Breaking boards, what a thrill! Chip/Reichen looking quite ill! And Dave/Jeff look like they'll take a spill - out of the race, but they're saved by a non-elimination leg.

(roll titles)

We're into serious business here - one of these teams will win $1 Million.

Kelly/Jon are first to go at 3.45 am. Their first task is to find Hangang Park, on Yeouido Island. Once there, they must pull on the string of a traditional Korean kite to receive their next clue.

Kelly/Jon's first taxi driver doesn't speak any English. So they try another, with the same results, but they take it anyway, because they don't want to get stuck behind...

Chip/Reichen, who leave ten minutes later. Both taxi don't have English speaking drivers - this should prove interesting!

Jon/Al (go clowns!) leave at 4.04. And they get a taxi driver who speaks perfect English! Chip/Reichen are starting to get antsy with their driver. Kelly/Jon decided to stop at a hotel, get directions, and get a new taxi to boot.

The clowns are the first to the kites. Chip/Reichen are starting to get PO'd at their driver, to which I say "Welcome to the race, guys".

The clowns are also the first to find out their next destination is Brisbane, Australia! They then have to find a specific hotel, check in with the concierge, and be escorted to the penthouse suite.

Reichen/Chip are second to get to the clue. Jon of Jon/Kelly fame starts pulling on the main kite string, and actually breaks part of it. Well done, dingbat.

Dave/Jeff are last to leave at 5.15. Jon/Kelly do get the clue eventually.

The clowns are in the lead at the airport, but discover that ticketing doesn't start until 6 am. Dave/Jeff get the kite clue.

Kelly/Jon are stuck driving in a fog. The clowns are calling a travel agency but find out that their previous reservation (not shown in detail) is the best way to go. Or so it might seem.

Chip/Reichen go and get a Singapore Airlines flight, which will get them in quicker than the clowns. Jon/Kelly then proceed to get the same flight.

The clowns are the only ones at the Korean Airlines gate and are starting to wonder where everyone else is.

They'd be waiting to go on the Singapore Airlines flight, then. Where Dave/Jeff are now flying out of as well.

And then all flights are delayed due to heavy fog. The clowns are reassured by a worker that the flight will leave on time - otherwise, they could miss their connection.

The fog has now lifted, and Chip/Reichen, Dave/Jeff and Jon/Kelly board their plane.

John realizes that he and Al are in trouble as their flight is near the very end of the queue to leave... and they ask a passenger if the flight is delayed - which it is! Two hours, in fact.

So they go looking for another flight - and find the one that everyone else is on. And we're starting to cut it close, they might make it... but due to security reasons, they can't get on. They figure this may be the end.

After the break, the clowns land a direct flight to Brisbane. They take the time to clown around and amuse themselves and those in the general area.

Dave/Jeff, Kelly/Jon, Chip/Reichen all land in Brisbane. Dave/Jeff had decided to go for the Fast Forward, which entails passing a local lifeguard test. They have to pull a swimmer out of the water and return her to the beach.

Chip/Reichen are next out in a taxi, and Jon/Kelly take a commuter train. And they're pleased, because there's bumper to bumper traffic. But Chip/Reichen are the first to the penthouse, with Jon/Kelly close behind.

And it's time for a DETOUR!

FACE FIRST: rappel face first down the side of a hotel building. FOOT FIRST: walk down the stairs, find another hotel, walk up the stairs.

Both teams decide to go for face first.

The clowns have now landed. Dave/Jeff are still driving to FF. Chip and Jon start their respective rappelling, and get it done quickly.

Dave/Jeff arrive at the beach for their FF. It's not as easy as it seems, though. The waves are high, it's tough paddling, and they're getting nowhere fast.

Back at the hotel, it looks like Reichen won't have problems, but Kelly might. She can't even make a fist because of the injury sustained breaking boards. Reichen finishes first between he and Kelly, while Kelly is STUCK. She's really scared, as she floats, but she finally lets the rope go and gets to the bottom.

Both Chip/Reichen and Kelly/Jon must now choose a marked car and drive to Underwater World in Mooloolaba.

Fast Forwarding now starts to seem like slo-mo for Dave/Jeff. Eventually they get the girl on the board. Jeff says he has problems because it's 20 degrees warmer then he's used to. THAT'S A PROBLEM? Wanna switch climates, buddy?

They get it done though. The pit stop is revealed as the Mooloolaba Yacht Club.

The clowns have made it to the detour, and Jon is first to go... but Al is having second thoughts.

Chip/Reichen and Jon/Kelly are on their way to Underwater World. Somehow, Chip/Reichen screw up, allowing Jon/Kelly to get there first.

Al musters up the courage to get down and John is very proud.

Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen are neck and neck when they get to the clue box, which is a ROADBLOCK!

One team member has to don SCUBA gear, walk across the floor of the live species aquarium, find a treasure chest, grab the clue, then get back.

Oh, and there are sharks. No big deal, I figure.

Reichen and Jon decide to do it for their respective duos.

Dive master to Jon: "And you're not allowed to stand on the sharks underwater. Otherwise they'll bite you". The reaction on Jon's face is priceless. He's first in, and Reichen is in shortly thereafter.

Jon is so concentrated on the treasure chest that he doesn't notice the wonderful sea life around him. On the way back, Jon passes Reichen and says his eyes are open very very wide... Reichen, however, decides to unlink his arms (the Dive master said not to) and comes dangerously close to being bitten.

Jon is first out, with Reichen close behind. Teams must now travel on foot to the Mooloolaba Yacht club. Dave/Jeff arrive first at the yacht club, and they've one a FLOKATI RUG! No, not really. A trip to Mexico.

Kelly/Jon are running around trying to figure out where to go. However, Chip/Reichen are considering driving... wait, they're getting into the car... they're driving a way... yes...

THEY'VE PULLED A "HEATHER AND EVE"!

A "Heather and Eve" occurs when you decide to use an automobile because you can't acknowledge the clue reads "ON FOOT". This eliminated these two in AR3.

The clowns are now speeding towards Underwater World, but once Al is in the tank, he's going VERY slow.

While running, Jon/Kelly are passed by Chip/Reichen, which causes Kelly to exclaim that "They didn't walk!". Right you are. As a result, when they get to the pit stop, Chip/Reichen are told they are the second team to arrive, but are assessed a penalty of 5 minutes for the time they gained in driving, and 30 minutes for their mistake. If the other teams make it within 35 minutes, they're out.

Jon/Kelly are now the third to arrive, but move up to second with the Chip/Reichen penalty.

The clowns are now done... and the clowns arrive. They are informed of the penalty, but it's not enough to cover how far they were behind. They've been eliminated. Excuse me for a second.

Lucy: WAAH! Ricky!

I miss them already.

NEXT TIME: Hopping with kangaroos, jockeying for position, falling in dune buggies.

August 14, 2003

Last time: The clowns develop stress. Jon becomes a pest. Jeff/Dave find their life guarding skills aren't the best. Reichen hunts for an underwater chest, and then they have penalties assessed. And the clowns are put to the test, but are done and eliminated.

(roll titles)

For the purpose of my typing skills, teams will now be shortened to just to their initials (ie. D/J for Dave/Jeff). Speaking of which...

D/J leave first at 10.41 pm. They must drive to the Aussie Wool Shed in Ferny Hills - and then look in wool for their clue. Their strategy all along was to Fast Forward in leg 11 and increase their lead in this leg.

K/J leave at 10.59. Kelly says she and Jon fight but it has made them stronger.

R/C leave at 11.33 pm. They are happy to still be in the race. Chip says he and Reichen want to prove each other that they know what they're doing.

D/J are first, K/J second, then C/R are third at the woolshed, and they're all stars on CBS new CBS sitcom "Clumping". The shed isn't open until 6 am.

Fast Forward to 6 AM. Kelly asks Chip if he's chipper - she loves pushing C/R to the limit. All teams quickly pick a woolshed and try to pull the wool over each other's eyes! HA!

Kelly says it smells like butt. That's nice, dear.

D/J thought they'd find the clue easily. In fact, K/J get it first. They need to fly to Cairns, and go to the Wild World Zoo. They're quite happy to be first.

D/J are now going through for the second time. C/R are second to leave.

Following the ads, D/J find their clue. K/J are first to the airport and get a flight on Qantas at 7.45 am. C/R do the old J/K trick: "Can we just do the same thing they did?". D/J aren't too far behind.

J/K talk about the "airport equalizer" - everyone catches up. It's a race to the vehicle. And the drag racing begins. The game of cat and mouse is afoot! Chip can't pass anyone and it's really annoying him!

Teams arrive at the Wild world to discover that there's a task to be done. They must grab a Kodak easy share camera to take a picture of one teammate feeding a fish stick - no, wait, a fish *on a stick* - to a fifteen foot croc. Then go to the souvenir shop, develop the pic at the printer dock and get the next clue.

But what's this? K/J walk RIGHT BY THE CAMERA... and D/J are nice enough not to point this out, so K/J get to go to the back of the line. This leads to fighting.

Dave feeds the fish, Jeff takes the pic. Then Reichen snaps Chip, and then Kelly snaps Jon. Or snaps at him - your choice.

D/J are first to get the clue - time to head to Wangetti Beach. K/J are second because C/R can't work the printer dock correctly.

In their car, D/J proclaim that they want to win, while K/J apologize to each other.

D/J arrive at the beach - it's a detour.

SADDLE: explore 1.5 mile beach for a cluster of clue envelopes. But there are four clusters, and only one has the clue. PADDLE: inflate a kayak, paddle out to a buoy.

D/J take horses. Jon has driven by Wangetti Beach. Quel surprise. C/R are second to the beach and go for horses. One of C/R says that he "loves horses" in a way that would indicate to me that he's had some Foster's on the way. This becomes a running gag for my friends.

D/J go right on the beach, while C/R go left. K/J are going nowhere as they've passed the beach.

At this point, the power went out. Thank goodness for the Canadian Outdoor Life Network's Sunday rerun show!

C/R are first to a cluster - but it's the wrong one! D/J get to a second cluster - which is also wrong. D/J arrive at the third one and it's the correct one. They must now drive 35 miles to the town of Julatin and find "off road rush".

J/K finally arrive and go for horses. And they wisely follow C/R, who pass D/J, who are having quite a bit of problems.

C/R find the fourth cluster and it's wrong and then find the right one. In their anxiety to get out quickly, Chip runs over Reichen's foot. This is not good, but they carry on. Then Chip yells at Reichen? Yeesh.

J/K finally get their clue. C/R get out and ask for directions and get some, while J/K don't.

D/J are first at the Road Block. One player per team gets into a dune buggy and drives through a marked course. David is the first to go, and he GUNS IT!

J/K stop for more directions and have better luck. C/R find off road rush and are not quite there yet when D/J finishes. Chip's doing it for the married couple team.

D/J must now drive to Ellis Beach, the next pit stop. Methinks Chip needs more practice -he spins out and they have to wait for a new buggy. Cue expletives. But he finishes, and they're off to the Pit Stop.

K/J are far behind, but they're at the Road Block now. Kelly wants to go because it's her turn, but she can't wipe the smile off of Jon's face, so she lets him do it - she says he's like a kid in a candy storee. And he's off... no... he's stalled... and he's going now. He's giving it all he's got, until he FLIPS THE BUGGY and there's real panic.

Thankfully he's okay, and he finishes shortly thereafter.

At the beach, D/J are team number one and win a European Vacation - and they didn't even have to go on Pig in a Poke!

Second to the beach are C/R, and Chip says he's seeing a different Reichen then before.

That means that the last team to the beach is K/J, but leg 12 is NEVER elimination town, so they're still in it. Kelly says that she and Jon have decided they'll never have kids because they don't want them to inherit their stupidity.

NEXT TIME: It's the SEASON FINALE! Jon's naked! David jumps out of a plane! And one team will win ELEVENTY BILLION DOLLARS! Or something like that. Sadly it won't be me :)

August 21, 2003

In the last twelve episodes, twelve teams set out from Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles in a race around the world. They conquered fears and endured devastating setbacks. One by one - Debra/Steve, Amanda/Chris, Cindy/Russell, Weezer and Geezer, Big Fat Guys (their nickname, not mine), The Supremes, The Models, Millie/Chuck, and the clowns (sniff) - fell by the wayside. Still competing are best friends David and Jeff, engaged couple Kelly and Jon, and married couple Chip and Reichen. And in the next hour, one of them will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (before taxes!). Advice to the other two - if someone offers you a spot on the "surreal life", I've got three words for you...

TURN THEM DOWN!

(roll titles)

Heading into the last leg, David/Jeff (D/J) have the lead and depart at 1.47 am, making their way to an aboriginal cultural park where they will participate in a ceremony in which they'll get their next clue.

Jeff comments that they've made the least amount of mistakes by a team so far. This then segues brilliantly into a bit where he can't close the door. This is why they're nominated for an Emmy!

Reichen and Chip (C/R) are second at 2.14 am. Reichen says most teams didn't expect them to make it this far because other perceive gays as very "queenish".

D/J arrive at the park to find out that it's not open until 6 am.

"Hello, Lead? Is that you? Yeah, see you later."

Kelly/Jon (K/J) leave last at 2.38 am. Kelly can't believe that they're still in it, because in her words, "we're so stupid". I'll leave that one alone then.

6 am arrives, and the ceremony starts. Kelly says it's nice to stop and slow down - to take their minds off of the race for a bit. Teams then get their clue, which states that they must drive themselves to the General Aviation Terminal at the Cairns airport.

On the road again... just can't wait to get on the road again... Jon flips the bird at C/R. Chip retaliates by passing... and then they SPIN OUT! I think I actually heard K/J's cameraman laugh. Reichen comments that "you can't do that again". Well, DUH!

D/J are first to the terminal... and it's time for the last DETOUR!

WING IT: tandem skydive at 10,000 feet. WANDER IT: drive a boat, then walk to "wing it" drop zone.

Well, the placement of this challeng is interesting... if it was at the start, you'd have alot of wanderers, but it's not, so everyone's winging it.

Reichen comments that he'd rather jump then be in the back seat of a car when Chip is driving. Kelly can't believe how nervous she is.

D/J are first out, followed by a somewhat panic stricken Kelly with her fiancee Jon in second, and C/R third. All six players seem to have enjoyed themselves, save for Kelly, who may have revisited "pooville" (remember Holland?). Teams must now fly to Hawai'i - we're getting close to the finish!

En route to the airport, D/J determine that their best option would be to go through Sydney. K/J go into the international terminal as well. C/R however have gone to domestic - they say that Qantas will help you anywhere.

Kelly inquires at ticketing and she finds out that there's a flight to Sydney leaving in minutes, but that would cause them to miss the connection to Honolulu. D/J don't know that though, as they're still going to the home of the 2000 Olympics. This is NOT looking good for them.

C/R are of course at a different ticket counter, and get the same flight as K/J - both are going to Honolulu after passing through Tokyo. Cut to D/J in Sydney, and they've come to the conclusion that they're getting nowhere fast. They try to get through with JAL, but all their connectors have already left to Japan. They spend a further three hours trying to make the connection, but are out of luck and have to wait until the next morning.

Once the flight lands in Tokyo, both C/R and K/J have 45 minutes to connect. C/R get good directions in the airport and K/J don't, because they end up getting on a tram which they shouldn't (even after the lady who gave them directions catches up to them to try to correct her mistake). C/R catch the appropriate bus link, while Kelly chews out Jon. They do however, get help from a nice Japanese lady, who calls a special bus and tells the driver to step on it.

It's VERY TIGHT... C/R get on the flight, and with all their pleading and help from the Japanese lady, are out of luck.

Oh dear.

They do get another flight, but they're now 70 flight minutes behind C/R, who are in first and find their marked car quickly outside of the terminal. They are quickly stuck in traffic en route to the Southernmost point in the US, Kaluana Bay.

Incidentally, I now live about 20 minutes away from the most Easterly point in the Western Hemisphere. Just a tidbit about my ever so changing life...

Meanwhile, D/J are very far behind - still in Sydney, in fact. K/J arrive in Hawaii. And R/C are first to the last ROAD BLOCK. One person has to swim out in the Pacific (?), dive down, grab a heavy rock, bring it back, and use a chisel to get at the clue.

Chip starts the swim, and boy, is that rock heavy. He's having a hard time with the chiselling though. K/J are catching up, but not before C/R are sent to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, for the next clue.

Jon is doing the RB for he and Kelly. He says that he doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so on a dare, he GOES NEKKED! Kelly says not to "damage the merchandise" - which was an actual 'quote of the week' in the Toronto Star. I personally pity the poor scuba diver who was filming.

"It's like Adam, buidling his first house!" says Kelly, and with that, they're done. And so is my dinner.

C/R arrive at the National Park to find out that they must next find the USS Arizona's anchor, in Phoenix - their final destination city! But K/J aren't to far behind.. and both teams get a flight to Honolulu, and then the same one to Phoenix. While waiting, C/R secure front row seats on the plane, with K/J four rows back. In the same vein of thinking, they find out EXACTLY where the anchor is located (street address). K/J try to do the same thing, with a varying degree of success.

C/R are first off the plane but both teams get to the taxi stand at relatively the same time. Jon starts flashing $100 bills at the cabbie so that he'll go fast, and likewise for C/R. K/J are somewhat lost and have to ask for directions. C/R are first to the anchor, and tell the driver to get to the Southeast entrance of Sun Devil Stadium. K/J are second, and after Jon runs into a brick fence (ouch), they're off to the stadium.

C/R arrive at the stadium to find out that they've got to solve a riddle:

Happy Valentine's Day + White + White.

This translates to the numbers of two retired players, and the answer is their clue, located in Section 214, Row 33, Seat 11.

They hustles their brains... while K/J are getting closer. C/R do find 214-33-11, and find the clue (please make it harder to find next time!), and must now go to the Western entrance of Papago Park, where they'll find bikes to ride to the FINISH LINE!!

J/K arrive, and Jon actually finds one of the "Whites" on the stadium wall, enabling them to make up time - but will it be enough?

And here's the final chase! Look at those cabbie bribes fly! Yellow lights being run!

Wait... someone's out of the cabs... and they're on the bikes! And there's all of the eliminated teams! We seem them in knockout order.

And wait once more... a second team is on the bikes... but the first team is already there!

I'll let Phil Koeghan, our esteemed host, take it from here.

"Four continents. Twenty four cities. Forty four thousand miles...

... Reichen and Chip, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race! You are the winners of the million dollars."

Chip states that it was hard to open up to other teams... but that they are Americans, teammates, and just happen to be gay.

Jon/Kelly get off their bikes soon after... and Phil announces that they are the second team to arrive. And because of the race, their relationshiop is more rock solid than ever.

Cut to: Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. David and Jeff open their route marker to find out the results. Jeff says it sucks coming in third. My personal disappointment would be not finishing the race, actually.

CUe the mass hysteria in Phoenix! Reichen/Chip and Kelly/Jon engage in group hugs, and then there's a group to be had!

And that's all!

POSTLUDE

Thank you readers, for reading my recaps, as always. I really have fun writing them, and I hope I communicate my thoughts well. This has been a different type of show to recap but I have enjoyed it immensely.

Thank you as well to the wonderful amount of support I receive from all of the stormseeker.com staff, especially Gordon and Jason.

And finally, thank you to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer productions, among others, who help bring "The Amazing Race" into my home.

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