July 24, 2003
Last time: Chip/Reichen
try to save a buck, the toll is taken on Millie and
Chuck, Jon/Al finish first because their shooting
doesn't suck, and Kelly/Jon experience a lot of luck -
they're still in it, despite finishing last, because
it's a non elimination leg.
The clowns and C/R are neck and neck, both leaving at
2.03 am. They have to get to Poring Hot Springs, where
they'll find their next clue.
Millie/Chuck are third to leave, at 2.19. Millie says
that they haven't had much sleep since the last leg.
David/Jeff are fourth at 2.50.
We see that C/R and the clowns are deterred somewhat by
deer in the middle of the road. Jon/Kelly are last to go
at 3.39 - and Jon wastes away by trying to haggle with
the taxman for a better price. Buddy, it's four in the
morning. Just go.
Chip/Reichen are first to the springs at 5.02, but too
bad for them that they can't get in until 6.30. Everyone
catches up, save for Jon/Kelly.
All teams run in, drop their backpacks, and start
running on the rope bridge. Chuck/Millie are first to
the clue box. They now have to drive 145 miles to the
Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation, where they'll find their
next route marker. And they get a map to boot. The show
knows no limits!
All other teams then follow Chuck/Millie in getting the
clue, while Jon/Kelly are getting out of their cab. At
which point Jon stops to take a leak. No, seriously.
They get into the hot springs... and promptly are lost.
David/Jeff are first out to the cars, Millie/Chuck are
second, with Chip and Reichen in third and the clowns in
There's a slight problem with the cars though - they're
fogging up quickly. The defrost doesn't work that well,
but Chip/Reichen took the time to put it on before they
started, so they're able to pass everyone else.
In the cars, Millie/Chuck are very very tired. But they
seem okay. Jon/Kelly get a nice "Stairmaster workout" as
they are still hopefully lost.
After the break, they finally find it. Kelly tells Jon
just to open the fast forward. To claim it, they have to
find the Sepilok orangutan reserve, and each team member
must feed two pieces of fruit to the wild orangutan,
after hiking deep into the forest.
Jon states that "the idiots are back". In reference to
themselves, that is.
Chip realizes that he and Reichen are heading in the
direction of the fast forward. They decide to continue
instead of backtracking... which really wont help the
case of Jon/Kelly, who declared it's "do or die" time.
Umm, that'd be the last one then, love.
The clowns are first to the palm oil plantation, which
turns out to be a DETOUR.
CHOP: use local tools to chop down palm nut bunches
which have a clue envelope attached. One out of every
four has the clue, the other three are empty.
HAUL: push 25 pound nut bunches in a wheelbarrow and
then throw them into a transport trailer. They have to
throw up 25.
Clowns go for HAUL. They find it's not easy as they're
But at least they're at the detour. Chuck/Millie are
going nowhere fast. They get out and ask for directions,
but it doesn't help. And they're emotionally drained to
But at least they're as not as thick as David/Jeff. They
pass the clue wheelbarrow several times. They finally
find it and decide to HAUL.
Clowns are first finished. It's time to drive themselves
to the Gamantong Caves. Dave/Jeff are very proud of
themselves when they're done that they didn't picked the
wrong numbered truck (see also: fish pen, choosing a
marked). In any case they're done.
Jon/Kelly are on their way to the FF. They say it
doesn't make sense for the other teams to grab it. But
that's exactly what Chip/Reichen are on their way to do.
Chip/Reichen both agree the hike is beautiful.
Chuck/Millie start with HAUL at the detour. Then they
switch to CHOP. And then back to HAUL.
Chip/Reichen have reached the orangutans and after some
deep thoughts, they get the FF directions to the pit
stop. They have to get to the Sepilok Nature Resort.
They wish they weren't racing, otherwise they'd stay
with them for a week.
Back to Chuck/Millie, the stubbornness continues, and
they wonder what this will do to their relationship.
They do finish the task though.
The team of Kelly/Jon arrive at the nature reserve to
find that the FF is gone! Kelly starts babbling, and Jon
swears at her. She's not amused. Jon speculates that
Chuck/Millie asked the clowns to FF. Kelly tells him
that they should just finish the races as best they can.
Chuck/Millie are having problems reading the map. They
actually drive by the turnoff sign, oh dear.
The clowns are the first to the caves. It's a DETOUR.
One member has to climb a traditional fifty foot rattan
ladder in order to get to the top where a clue is
hanging in a basket (attached to a horizontal ladder).
Jon does it for the clowns. It's a nice view. Jon
comments that some of the ladder rungs have poo on them
("It's like pooville!" to quote another episode), which
he's not very fond of. He's the first to finish. They
now will drive themselves to the Sepilok Nature Resort.
They pass D/J on their way out.
Chip/Reichen are the first to the pit stop. And they've
won a Latin American vacation to enjoy after the race.
Jeff is climbing up for his team. Millie/Chuck are still
hopelessly lost. And Jon/Kelly are finally at the detour
- they've gone for HAUL. Jeff is done the roadblock.
Back at the plantation, Jon/Kelly can't see the number
on the side of the truck that matches their wheelbarrow.
Kelly asks "how are we so stupid?"
Ah, I have a few suggestions if you'd like...
They decide to switch to CHOP. They get it on the second
try. Meanwhile, Chuck/Millie are now officially
contestants on NBC's "Lost!" Because they are. Still.
Millie realizes that it's generally just a bad day. They
both went an hour out of their way - the wrong way. They
do finally reach the detour - about twelve seconds
before Jon/Kelly do! Ladies and germs, we got ourselves
Jon and Chuck are the appointed members of their teams
to do it. Chuck takes a sizeable early lead, but at the
top, they're level pegging.
The clowns are second. Chuck and Jon are still neck and
neck, but Jon starts to pull away, and Jon/Kelly are the
first out of the caves. Kelly is amazed they're back in
the race. Frankly, so am I.
On the other hand, Chuck decides to follow Jon/Kelly
because that way they can't lose (theoretically).
David/Jeff are third. Jon passes a car, but Chuck can't
do the same as he can't find the gear. Jon/Kelly find
the turnoff first, and both teams prepare for an all out
And here it comes... who's it going to be?
I present to you the fourth place team... Kelly and Jon.
Which means Millie/Chuck are the last team to arrive,
and they've been eliminated. Millie says that they've
learned a lot about each other, and Chuck agrees that
they're not sure what turns their relationship will take
NEXT TIME: Diving into ice! Diving into new food! Diving
into trouble at the North Korean border!
July 31, 2003
Last time: Teams pause
to clean their windows. Chip/Reichen play with
orangutans, causing Jon/Kelly to undo their fast forward
plans. And the stop button applied to Chuck/Millie -
they've been eliminated.
Before we start, congratulations to Amazing Race:
they're Emmy nominated! Good luck, guys!
Back to Sepilok now. Reichen/Chip depart at 10.26 pm.
They have to find the Pujunsi (sp?) Buddha Temple, and
search thousands of tiny figurines for the one with
their names on it. It will contain a key that opens a
bag, which in turn will give them their next clue.
Chip/Reichen say they have to "watch their backs". They
feel there was a sense of peace in the temple. They find
the key, which tells them to get to Seoul, South Korea,
and find the Seoul tower. Vans leave from the temple for
the airport every half hour, but can only carry one
team. Chip takes a moment to say a prayer. They leave
the temple at midnight.
Jon/Al (go clowns!) depart at 12.56 am. Dave/Jeff are
third at 1.11 am. Dave/Jeff say the clowns are their
greatest competition. Kelly/Jon are last at 2.42 am.
And lookie here kids, we're back in Kota Kinabalu,
albeit at the airport. The ticket agent asks Chip/Reichen
when they're at the airport in first "how early must you
reach Korea?" Oh, maybe next Thursday... NO, NOW!!!
They've got tickets, through Singapore. The clowns do
the same. Ditto for Dave/Jeff and Kelly/Jon. This would
be bunching, then.
When they get to Singapore, Dave/Jeff purchase a standby
tickets for a flight that goes through Hong Kong and
gets to Seoul one hour earlier than the others. And so
do the clowns. Chip/Reichen take the time waiting for
the flight to chow down on burgers.
The lady at Singapore Air says to Dave/Jeff that they
bought a ticket but didn't check into their system. Huh?
There seems to be some miscommunication - they can't
understand what's going on. They persist and both they
and the clowns get on the same flight.
Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen take off three and a half
Dave/Jeff and the clowns arrive in Seoul at 5 am. They
decide to make a van caravan to find their clue, which
they do, and it tells them to proceed to Rafting Korea
in the Sundan Valley - located right near the
North/South Korean border. Due to the high cost, they
decide to split on a cab.
Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen arrive in South Korea forty
minutes later. Chip/Reichen look like they're having
problems, which continues for their next destination.
They want to find someone who speaks English.
Dave/Jeff's driver stops to ask for directions, which
doesn't inspire confidence. Suddenly, they're passing
army tanks near the border, which makes them quite
Chip/Reichen are the first to the valley, although
they've no clue how. Jon/Kelly are second, Dave/Jeff are
third, and the clowns are last. And it's time for a
ROADBLOCK. Very simple. Go for a swim. Oh, and you have
to swim under a bunch of ice. Piece of cake. If I can
just excuse myself to go get my dry suit... WHAT? I HAVE
TO DO IT IN MY SKIVVIES? ON NATIONAL TELEVISION? You've
got to be joking.
Oh, wait, you're serious. Chip asks "What are skivvies?"
Hardy har har.
As everyone is tense, the clowns break into song and
dance. Good on ya, guys. Oh, ladies, for you keeping
#1 - Chip: briefs
#2 - Jon: briefs
#3 - David: briefs
#4 - Al: boxers
According to the friends I watch with every week, only
Al is the real "man's man".
All teams complete the chilling task as quick as they
can, and now have to find the clue box in subway station
And the nice guys that they are, Dave/Jeff almost take
off with the taxi that they were sharing with the
clowns, but they do hang back eventually, deciding that
they will split up when they get back to town.
Reichen/Chip are sitting in first place and sitting in
traffic. So is everyone else for that matter. Our
leaders get off and start navigating the subway system.
The clowns have the same idea. And Kelly/Jon are
fighting, Quelle surprise! Dave/Jeff are now on the
Dave/Jeff ask for directions and... they're wrong. They
decide to try another cab. Chip/Reichen are first to the
station, but Kelly/Jon are first to find out about
STRONG HAND: break three sets of boards each with your
STRONG STOMACH: eat a plate of live octopus (their
words: 'a Korean delicacy')
Jon/Kelly go for HAND, Reichen/Chip will try STOMACH.
I don't think I've seen bigger eyes then the ones that
Chip/Reichen had at this moment, as they realize they're
going to be eating octopus.
Dave/Jeff are hopefully lost. Reichen/Chip are having
real problems - one of them asks if they're allowed to
vomit (answer: no!).
Jon breaks his boards no problem. Kelly... well, she
missed the first couple.
In order to finish their meal, Reichen starts throwing
back octopus shooters. Not my idea of fun, but it works.
Back at Sir-Chop-A-Lot, Kelly is on her last board and
Jon is annoying her. He solves this problem by saying
(in reference to the boards) "That's me, hit my face",
and it worked. Incidentally, that was the title for this
Teams must now drive across town to the Gyongbokgung
Palace where they will find the pit stop.
The clowns reach the subway in third. They're going for
HAND. Dave/Jeff arrive and go for STOMACH... until they
see it, and then switch to HAND.
After some problems, the clowns are off to the palace,
and Dave/Jeff finish shortly thereafter quite quickly.
Jon/Kelly are first at the palace, but the pit stop
isn't easily found. But Jon seems to make all the right
moves, and they're team number one! They've won a Kodak
Easy Share camera!
What's that? We're out of them? What? Okay... I guess
they can have a Caribbean cruise instead. Chip/Reichen
come in second. And there's a race not to be last... and
in third... are the clowns!
That means that Dave/Jeff are last... but it's a non
elimination leg. That means they live to see another
episode... and so will we!
NEXT TIME: Running through airports! Rappelling down
buildings! Swimming with sharks!
August 7, 2003
Last time: The roadblock
is quite a chill! Breaking boards, what a thrill! Chip/Reichen
looking quite ill! And Dave/Jeff look like they'll take
a spill - out of the race, but they're saved by a
We're into serious business here - one of these teams
will win $1 Million.
Kelly/Jon are first to go at 3.45 am. Their first task
is to find Hangang Park, on Yeouido Island. Once there,
they must pull on the string of a traditional Korean
kite to receive their next clue.
Kelly/Jon's first taxi driver doesn't speak any English.
So they try another, with the same results, but they
take it anyway, because they don't want to get stuck
Chip/Reichen, who leave ten minutes later. Both taxi
don't have English speaking drivers - this should prove
Jon/Al (go clowns!) leave at 4.04. And they get a taxi
driver who speaks perfect English! Chip/Reichen are
starting to get antsy with their driver. Kelly/Jon
decided to stop at a hotel, get directions, and get a
new taxi to boot.
The clowns are the first to the kites. Chip/Reichen are
starting to get PO'd at their driver, to which I say
"Welcome to the race, guys".
The clowns are also the first to find out their next
destination is Brisbane, Australia! They then have to
find a specific hotel, check in with the concierge, and
be escorted to the penthouse suite.
Reichen/Chip are second to get to the clue. Jon of
Jon/Kelly fame starts pulling on the main kite string,
and actually breaks part of it. Well done, dingbat.
Dave/Jeff are last to leave at 5.15. Jon/Kelly do get
the clue eventually.
The clowns are in the lead at the airport, but discover
that ticketing doesn't start until 6 am. Dave/Jeff get
the kite clue.
Kelly/Jon are stuck driving in a fog. The clowns are
calling a travel agency but find out that their previous
reservation (not shown in detail) is the best way to go.
Or so it might seem.
Chip/Reichen go and get a Singapore Airlines flight,
which will get them in quicker than the clowns.
Jon/Kelly then proceed to get the same flight.
The clowns are the only ones at the Korean Airlines gate
and are starting to wonder where everyone else is.
They'd be waiting to go on the Singapore Airlines
flight, then. Where Dave/Jeff are now flying out of as
And then all flights are delayed due to heavy fog. The
clowns are reassured by a worker that the flight will
leave on time - otherwise, they could miss their
The fog has now lifted, and Chip/Reichen, Dave/Jeff and
Jon/Kelly board their plane.
John realizes that he and Al are in trouble as their
flight is near the very end of the queue to leave... and
they ask a passenger if the flight is delayed - which it
is! Two hours, in fact.
So they go looking for another flight - and find the one
that everyone else is on. And we're starting to cut it
close, they might make it... but due to security
reasons, they can't get on. They figure this may be the
After the break, the clowns land a direct flight to
Brisbane. They take the time to clown around and amuse
themselves and those in the general area.
Dave/Jeff, Kelly/Jon, Chip/Reichen all land in Brisbane.
Dave/Jeff had decided to go for the Fast Forward, which
entails passing a local lifeguard test. They have to
pull a swimmer out of the water and return her to the
Chip/Reichen are next out in a taxi, and Jon/Kelly take
a commuter train. And they're pleased, because there's
bumper to bumper traffic. But Chip/Reichen are the first
to the penthouse, with Jon/Kelly close behind.
And it's time for a DETOUR!
FACE FIRST: rappel face first down the side of a hotel
building. FOOT FIRST: walk down the stairs, find another
hotel, walk up the stairs.
Both teams decide to go for face first.
The clowns have now landed. Dave/Jeff are still driving
to FF. Chip and Jon start their respective rappelling,
and get it done quickly.
Dave/Jeff arrive at the beach for their FF. It's not as
easy as it seems, though. The waves are high, it's tough
paddling, and they're getting nowhere fast.
Back at the hotel, it looks like Reichen won't have
problems, but Kelly might. She can't even make a fist
because of the injury sustained breaking boards. Reichen
finishes first between he and Kelly, while Kelly is
STUCK. She's really scared, as she floats, but she
finally lets the rope go and gets to the bottom.
Both Chip/Reichen and Kelly/Jon must now choose a marked
car and drive to Underwater World in Mooloolaba.
Fast Forwarding now starts to seem like slo-mo for
Dave/Jeff. Eventually they get the girl on the board.
Jeff says he has problems because it's 20 degrees warmer
then he's used to. THAT'S A PROBLEM? Wanna switch
They get it done though. The pit stop is revealed as the
Mooloolaba Yacht Club.
The clowns have made it to the detour, and Jon is first
to go... but Al is having second thoughts.
Chip/Reichen and Jon/Kelly are on their way to
Underwater World. Somehow, Chip/Reichen screw up,
allowing Jon/Kelly to get there first.
Al musters up the courage to get down and John is very
Jon/Kelly and Chip/Reichen are neck and neck when they
get to the clue box, which is a ROADBLOCK!
One team member has to don SCUBA gear, walk across the
floor of the live species aquarium, find a treasure
chest, grab the clue, then get back.
Oh, and there are sharks. No big deal, I figure.
Reichen and Jon decide to do it for their respective
Dive master to Jon: "And you're not allowed to stand on
the sharks underwater. Otherwise they'll bite you". The
reaction on Jon's face is priceless. He's first in, and
Reichen is in shortly thereafter.
Jon is so concentrated on the treasure chest that he
doesn't notice the wonderful sea life around him. On the
way back, Jon passes Reichen and says his eyes are open
very very wide... Reichen, however, decides to unlink
his arms (the Dive master said not to) and comes
dangerously close to being bitten.
Jon is first out, with Reichen close behind. Teams must
now travel on foot to the Mooloolaba Yacht club.
Dave/Jeff arrive first at the yacht club, and they've
one a FLOKATI RUG! No, not really. A trip to Mexico.
Kelly/Jon are running around trying to figure out where
to go. However, Chip/Reichen are considering driving...
wait, they're getting into the car... they're driving a
THEY'VE PULLED A "HEATHER AND EVE"!
A "Heather and Eve" occurs when you decide to use an
automobile because you can't acknowledge the clue reads
"ON FOOT". This eliminated these two in AR3.
The clowns are now speeding towards Underwater World,
but once Al is in the tank, he's going VERY slow.
While running, Jon/Kelly are passed by Chip/Reichen,
which causes Kelly to exclaim that "They didn't walk!".
Right you are. As a result, when they get to the pit
stop, Chip/Reichen are told they are the second team to
arrive, but are assessed a penalty of 5 minutes for the
time they gained in driving, and 30 minutes for their
mistake. If the other teams make it within 35 minutes,
Jon/Kelly are now the third to arrive, but move up to
second with the Chip/Reichen penalty.
The clowns are now done... and the clowns arrive. They
are informed of the penalty, but it's not enough to
cover how far they were behind. They've been eliminated.
Excuse me for a second.
Lucy: WAAH! Ricky!
I miss them already.
NEXT TIME: Hopping with kangaroos, jockeying for
position, falling in dune buggies.
Last time: The clowns
develop stress. Jon becomes a pest. Jeff/Dave find their
life guarding skills aren't the best. Reichen hunts for
an underwater chest, and then they have penalties
assessed. And the clowns are put to the test, but are
done and eliminated.
For the purpose of my typing skills, teams will now be
shortened to just to their initials (ie. D/J for
Dave/Jeff). Speaking of which...
D/J leave first at 10.41 pm. They must drive to the
Aussie Wool Shed in Ferny Hills - and then look in wool
for their clue. Their strategy all along was to Fast
Forward in leg 11 and increase their lead in this leg.
K/J leave at 10.59. Kelly says she and Jon fight but it
has made them stronger.
R/C leave at 11.33 pm. They are happy to still be in the
race. Chip says he and Reichen want to prove each other
that they know what they're doing.
D/J are first, K/J second, then C/R are third at the
woolshed, and they're all stars on CBS new CBS sitcom
"Clumping". The shed isn't open until 6 am.
Fast Forward to 6 AM. Kelly asks Chip if he's chipper -
she loves pushing C/R to the limit. All teams quickly
pick a woolshed and try to pull the wool over each
other's eyes! HA!
Kelly says it smells like butt. That's nice, dear.
D/J thought they'd find the clue easily. In fact, K/J
get it first. They need to fly to Cairns, and go to the
Wild World Zoo. They're quite happy to be first.
D/J are now going through for the second time. C/R are
second to leave.
Following the ads, D/J find their clue. K/J are first to
the airport and get a flight on Qantas at 7.45 am. C/R
do the old J/K trick: "Can we just do the same thing
they did?". D/J aren't too far behind.
J/K talk about the "airport equalizer" - everyone
catches up. It's a race to the vehicle. And the drag
racing begins. The game of cat and mouse is afoot! Chip
can't pass anyone and it's really annoying him!
Teams arrive at the Wild world to discover that there's
a task to be done. They must grab a Kodak easy share
camera to take a picture of one teammate feeding a fish
stick - no, wait, a fish *on a stick* - to a fifteen
foot croc. Then go to the souvenir shop, develop the pic
at the printer dock and get the next clue.
But what's this? K/J walk RIGHT BY THE CAMERA... and D/J
are nice enough not to point this out, so K/J get to go
to the back of the line. This leads to fighting.
Dave feeds the fish, Jeff takes the pic. Then Reichen
snaps Chip, and then Kelly snaps Jon. Or snaps at him -
D/J are first to get the clue - time to head to Wangetti
Beach. K/J are second because C/R can't work the printer
In their car, D/J proclaim that they want to win, while
K/J apologize to each other.
D/J arrive at the beach - it's a detour.
SADDLE: explore 1.5 mile beach for a cluster of clue
envelopes. But there are four clusters, and only one has
the clue. PADDLE: inflate a kayak, paddle out to a buoy.
D/J take horses. Jon has driven by Wangetti Beach. Quel
surprise. C/R are second to the beach and go for horses.
One of C/R says that he "loves horses" in a way that
would indicate to me that he's had some Foster's on the
way. This becomes a running gag for my friends.
D/J go right on the beach, while C/R go left. K/J are
going nowhere as they've passed the beach.
At this point, the power went out. Thank goodness for
the Canadian Outdoor Life Network's Sunday rerun show!
C/R are first to a cluster - but it's the wrong one! D/J
get to a second cluster - which is also wrong. D/J
arrive at the third one and it's the correct one. They
must now drive 35 miles to the town of Julatin and find
"off road rush".
J/K finally arrive and go for horses. And they wisely
follow C/R, who pass D/J, who are having quite a bit of
C/R find the fourth cluster and it's wrong and then find
the right one. In their anxiety to get out quickly, Chip
runs over Reichen's foot. This is not good, but they
carry on. Then Chip yells at Reichen? Yeesh.
J/K finally get their clue. C/R get out and ask for
directions and get some, while J/K don't.
D/J are first at the Road Block. One player per team
gets into a dune buggy and drives through a marked
course. David is the first to go, and he GUNS IT!
J/K stop for more directions and have better luck. C/R
find off road rush and are not quite there yet when D/J
finishes. Chip's doing it for the married couple team.
D/J must now drive to Ellis Beach, the next pit stop.
Methinks Chip needs more practice -he spins out and they
have to wait for a new buggy. Cue expletives. But he
finishes, and they're off to the Pit Stop.
K/J are far behind, but they're at the Road Block now.
Kelly wants to go because it's her turn, but she can't
wipe the smile off of Jon's face, so she lets him do it
- she says he's like a kid in a candy storee. And he's
off... no... he's stalled... and he's going now. He's
giving it all he's got, until he FLIPS THE BUGGY and
there's real panic.
Thankfully he's okay, and he finishes shortly
At the beach, D/J are team number one and win a European
Vacation - and they didn't even have to go on Pig in a
Second to the beach are C/R, and Chip says he's seeing a
different Reichen then before.
That means that the last team to the beach is K/J, but
leg 12 is NEVER elimination town, so they're still in
it. Kelly says that she and Jon have decided they'll
never have kids because they don't want them to inherit
NEXT TIME: It's the SEASON FINALE! Jon's naked! David
jumps out of a plane! And one team will win ELEVENTY
BILLION DOLLARS! Or something like that. Sadly it won't
be me :)
August 21, 2003
In the last twelve
episodes, twelve teams set out from Dodger Stadium in
Los Angeles in a race around the world. They conquered
fears and endured devastating setbacks. One by one -
Debra/Steve, Amanda/Chris, Cindy/Russell, Weezer and
Geezer, Big Fat Guys (their nickname, not mine), The
Supremes, The Models, Millie/Chuck, and the clowns
(sniff) - fell by the wayside. Still competing are best
friends David and Jeff, engaged couple Kelly and Jon,
and married couple Chip and Reichen. And in the next
hour, one of them will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (before
taxes!). Advice to the other two - if someone offers you
a spot on the "surreal life", I've got three words for
TURN THEM DOWN!
Heading into the last leg, David/Jeff (D/J) have the
lead and depart at 1.47 am, making their way to an
aboriginal cultural park where they will participate in
a ceremony in which they'll get their next clue.
Jeff comments that they've made the least amount of
mistakes by a team so far. This then segues brilliantly
into a bit where he can't close the door. This is why
they're nominated for an Emmy!
Reichen and Chip (C/R) are second at 2.14 am. Reichen
says most teams didn't expect them to make it this far
because other perceive gays as very "queenish".
D/J arrive at the park to find out that it's not open
until 6 am.
"Hello, Lead? Is that you? Yeah, see you later."
Kelly/Jon (K/J) leave last at 2.38 am. Kelly can't
believe that they're still in it, because in her words,
"we're so stupid". I'll leave that one alone then.
6 am arrives, and the ceremony starts. Kelly says it's
nice to stop and slow down - to take their minds off of
the race for a bit. Teams then get their clue, which
states that they must drive themselves to the General
Aviation Terminal at the Cairns airport.
On the road again... just can't wait to get on the road
again... Jon flips the bird at C/R. Chip retaliates by
passing... and then they SPIN OUT! I think I actually
heard K/J's cameraman laugh. Reichen comments that "you
can't do that again". Well, DUH!
D/J are first to the terminal... and it's time for the
WING IT: tandem skydive at 10,000 feet. WANDER IT: drive
a boat, then walk to "wing it" drop zone.
Well, the placement of this challeng is interesting...
if it was at the start, you'd have alot of wanderers,
but it's not, so everyone's winging it.
Reichen comments that he'd rather jump then be in the
back seat of a car when Chip is driving. Kelly can't
believe how nervous she is.
D/J are first out, followed by a somewhat panic stricken
Kelly with her fiancee Jon in second, and C/R third. All
six players seem to have enjoyed themselves, save for
Kelly, who may have revisited "pooville" (remember
Holland?). Teams must now fly to Hawai'i - we're getting
close to the finish!
En route to the airport, D/J determine that their best
option would be to go through Sydney. K/J go into the
international terminal as well. C/R however have gone to
domestic - they say that Qantas will help you anywhere.
Kelly inquires at ticketing and she finds out that
there's a flight to Sydney leaving in minutes, but that
would cause them to miss the connection to Honolulu. D/J
don't know that though, as they're still going to the
home of the 2000 Olympics. This is NOT looking good for
C/R are of course at a different ticket counter, and get
the same flight as K/J - both are going to Honolulu
after passing through Tokyo. Cut to D/J in Sydney, and
they've come to the conclusion that they're getting
nowhere fast. They try to get through with JAL, but all
their connectors have already left to Japan. They spend
a further three hours trying to make the connection, but
are out of luck and have to wait until the next morning.
Once the flight lands in Tokyo, both C/R and K/J have 45
minutes to connect. C/R get good directions in the
airport and K/J don't, because they end up getting on a
tram which they shouldn't (even after the lady who gave
them directions catches up to them to try to correct her
mistake). C/R catch the appropriate bus link, while
Kelly chews out Jon. They do however, get help from a
nice Japanese lady, who calls a special bus and tells
the driver to step on it.
It's VERY TIGHT... C/R get on the flight, and with all
their pleading and help from the Japanese lady, are out
They do get another flight, but they're now 70 flight
minutes behind C/R, who are in first and find their
marked car quickly outside of the terminal. They are
quickly stuck in traffic en route to the Southernmost
point in the US, Kaluana Bay.
Incidentally, I now live about 20 minutes away from the
most Easterly point in the Western Hemisphere. Just a
tidbit about my ever so changing life...
Meanwhile, D/J are very far behind - still in Sydney, in
fact. K/J arrive in Hawaii. And R/C are first to the
last ROAD BLOCK. One person has to swim out in the
Pacific (?), dive down, grab a heavy rock, bring it
back, and use a chisel to get at the clue.
Chip starts the swim, and boy, is that rock heavy. He's
having a hard time with the chiselling though. K/J are
catching up, but not before C/R are sent to Hawaii
Volcanoes National Park, for the next clue.
Jon is doing the RB for he and Kelly. He says that he
doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so on a dare, he
GOES NEKKED! Kelly says not to "damage the merchandise"
- which was an actual 'quote of the week' in the Toronto
Star. I personally pity the poor scuba diver who was
"It's like Adam, buidling his first house!" says Kelly,
and with that, they're done. And so is my dinner.
C/R arrive at the National Park to find out that they
must next find the USS Arizona's anchor, in Phoenix -
their final destination city! But K/J aren't to far
behind.. and both teams get a flight to Honolulu, and
then the same one to Phoenix. While waiting, C/R secure
front row seats on the plane, with K/J four rows back.
In the same vein of thinking, they find out EXACTLY
where the anchor is located (street address). K/J try to
do the same thing, with a varying degree of success.
C/R are first off the plane but both teams get to the
taxi stand at relatively the same time. Jon starts
flashing $100 bills at the cabbie so that he'll go fast,
and likewise for C/R. K/J are somewhat lost and have to
ask for directions. C/R are first to the anchor, and
tell the driver to get to the Southeast entrance of Sun
Devil Stadium. K/J are second, and after Jon runs into a
brick fence (ouch), they're off to the stadium.
C/R arrive at the stadium to find out that they've got
to solve a riddle:
Happy Valentine's Day + White + White.
This translates to the numbers of two retired players,
and the answer is their clue, located in Section 214,
Row 33, Seat 11.
They hustles their brains... while K/J are getting
closer. C/R do find 214-33-11, and find the clue (please
make it harder to find next time!), and must now go to
the Western entrance of Papago Park, where they'll find
bikes to ride to the FINISH LINE!!
J/K arrive, and Jon actually finds one of the "Whites"
on the stadium wall, enabling them to make up time - but
will it be enough?
And here's the final chase! Look at those cabbie bribes
fly! Yellow lights being run!
Wait... someone's out of the cabs... and they're on the
bikes! And there's all of the eliminated teams! We seem
them in knockout order.
And wait once more... a second team is on the bikes...
but the first team is already there!
I'll let Phil Koeghan, our esteemed host, take it from
"Four continents. Twenty four cities. Forty four
... Reichen and Chip, you are the official winners of
The Amazing Race! You are the winners of the million
Chip states that it was hard to open up to other
teams... but that they are Americans, teammates, and
just happen to be gay.
Jon/Kelly get off their bikes soon after... and Phil
announces that they are the second team to arrive. And
because of the race, their relationshiop is more rock
solid than ever.
Cut to: Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. David and Jeff
open their route marker to find out the results. Jeff
says it sucks coming in third. My personal
disappointment would be not finishing the race,
CUe the mass hysteria in Phoenix! Reichen/Chip and
Kelly/Jon engage in group hugs, and then there's a group
to be had!
And that's all!
Thank you readers, for reading my recaps, as always. I
really have fun writing them, and I hope I communicate
my thoughts well. This has been a different type of show
to recap but I have enjoyed it immensely.
Thank you as well to the wonderful amount of support I
receive from all of the stormseeker.com staff,
especially Gordon and Jason.
And finally, thank you to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer
productions, among others, who help bring "The Amazing
Race" into my home.