October 2, 2002
Welcome to the third
season of The Amazing Race! Once again, I am your tour
guide, who will try to steer you through this silliness
as 12 teams race around for a million dollars. The rules
are easy - you follow clues to a checkpoint. Teams get
choices through the way, and each team can use one (and
ONLY one) short cut called a Fast Forward throughout the
game, The last place team is eliminated, and gets to be
the brunt of my jokes throughout the article.
So here are the teams that will either be rich or will
look really stupid trying to be rich (or a combination
of both) -
Heather and Eve - roommates and graduates of Harvard Law
School 'We've always been underestimated - we've always
been seen as ditzes.'
Michael and Kathy - Internet relationship - this is the
first time that they are spending time together. 'By day
7, we may be clawing each others eyes out'
Kenneth and Andrew, from Kentucky - Dad is a strict
Southern Baptist. Son is a gay male cheerleader. 'We're
either going to come back and be best friends, or we're
going to come back and I'm going to file a restraining
Flo and Zack - friends from Vassar College - now they're
Derek and Drew - Identical twins and models, from
California. 'We'll be cutthroat with a smile'
Gina and Sylvia - Soccer moms from South Carolina 'Fear
the soccer mom'
Tramel and Talicia, an African American brother and
Sister from Gary Indiana 'When the rubber hits the road,
I can really go'
Aaron and Arianne - best friends since early childhood.
'We think outside the box'
Teri and Ian - Married parents (for 22 years) from
Florida 'We have expereince and knowledge, and its
working in our favor, not against us'
Andre and Damon - Cop and Fireman/African American
friends who met in Desert Storm. 'A mission like this -
this is right up our alley'
Ken and Gerard - Brothers - Conservative Republican
Straight man with kids Vs. Liberal Democrat Gay guy with
no kids. Oh watch the hilarity ensue.
John Vito and Jill - Recently dating from Staten Island
Jill lost her brother on 9/11, 'So we're actually a team
of three - John Vito, myself, and my brother'
My top three picks - Aaron and Arianne, Andre and Damon,
and John Vito and Jill. Record so far in predicting the
top three - 3 out of 6 (I got 2 out of 3 the first
season, only one out of three the second season).
We start on a tiny island in the everglades - hey gang,
this ain't Survivor. The first clue is on top of their
luggage, which has been nicely placed down in front of
And away we go!
The first clue - get yourself to the Angel of
Independence in Mexico City. There are only three
flights that you can get on. Everyone is struggling to
get to the airport - and there is a convoy of cars.
Derek and Drew pull the first error - and go right past
the exit for the airplane.
The first flight has room for 7 teams. Heather and Eve,
John Vito and Jill are the first two to get on. Andre
and Damon slide under the ropes - and past everyone - to
get in third, followed by Aaron and Adrienne. Michael
and Kathy are the fifth team, Flo and Zach are sixth,
and Dennis and Andrew are the last team to make the
Heather and Eve, meanwhile, while waiting for their
flight, start panhandling for money - and make over $100
dollars. While they are doing that, the other 5 teams -
Tramel and Alicia, Ken and Gerard, Gina and Sylvia, Teri
and Ian, and the models (yes, they finally found the
plane) are on the loser flight, which leaves 50 minutes
after the first flight.
Now that the teams are in Mexico City, they have to get
to the Angel of Independence. Zack tries to barter with
the taxi driver - while Flo is yelling at him for being
unethical - for that, she gets to be called high
maintenance by Zack.
Once they get to the Angel of independence, they need to
find man named Pablo, and they only get a picture of
him. Teams are finding out that the building behind him
is the Cathedral, which is located downtown. at Zocalo
Square. Meanwhile, the second plane has gotten in, and
the soccer moms aren't even out of the airport while
everyone else is getting to the cathedral.
Aaron and Arianne find Pablo first - and have to go to
the Mexi-Mini Charters at the Hotel de Cortes to sign up
for a bus for tomorrow. There are 3 buses - four teams
to a bus, and of course, first come, first served. Aaron
and Arianne get there first, followed by Flo and Zack
and John Vito and Jill. Michael and Kathy take the last
spot on the first bus. Heather and Eve, Dennis and
Andrew, Andre and Damon and Teri and Ian go to bus #2.
That leads Tramel and Alicia, Derek and Drew, Ken and
Gerard, and Gina and Sylvia on the loser bus.
Speaking of losers, the twins may have pulled the
dumb-ass move of the episode early. They left all of
their stuff on a cab, which sped off while they were
looking for Pedro and didn't wait for them to come back.
Of course, all of their stuff is in their travel bags.
OOPS. They do find the taxi - but it puts them in dead
All of the teams get to spend a nice night on the town,
since the busses don't leave until tomorrow. The only
video that we get is the soccer moms meeting some kids
and having them remind them of their own kids. This
means 2 things - 1. We get a heartwarming trip from the
women - awwwwwbarf. and 2. - Since they are getting lots
of camera time, and since they are in the loser bus,
they are my early nomination to go bye bye.
Ken and Gerard don't want to be warm and friendly - and
they don't want to be the first team to go bye-bye.
Knowing that they are stuck in the last bus, they decide
to take the Fast Forward - which has the teams to look
for a street typist in Santo Domingo Plaza with a
message for the team that finds it - the location of the
checkpoint. The twins, bereft of stuff, also decide to
go for the Fast Forward - but they decide to jog, while
the brothers decide to taxi it. Taxi beats jogging, and
Ken and Gerard go to the Pit Stop - the hacienda San
Gabriel de Espanas. The twins are also models, which,
based on what they've done so far (which hasn't included
intelligent decisions), should surprise nobody.
While Ken and Gerard are off to the hacienda, everyone
is off via the busses to the Tequesquistengo airfield.
Once the first bus gets there, they see a detour, which
is a choice of two tasks. Teams have to do one of the
Wings - board a plane (which goes up 10,000 feet) and
skydive to the next clue.
Wheels - direct a driver (who speaks no English) with a
donkey and a little cart to the clue - 7 miles away.
Michael and Kathy decide to ride on the donkey, while
the other three go skydiving. Once they get to the clue
- it directs all of the teams to the pit stop. But Ken
and Gerard get there first, and win a 7 night Caribbean
Here comes Bus #2 - and they are much more chicken than
the first group - they ALL take the donkey cart - but
Heathers and Eve's cart breaks down, so they turn back
and decide to skydive. This terrifies Eve, since it's
her biggest fear. Those donkeys looked pretty scary,
too, as Teri and Ian's is being rebellious (It's a
Jackass, I think, says Ian). The women decide to do it -
and they make it.
Flo and Zack are second, followed by Aaron and Arianne
and Michael and Kathy. John Vito and Jill round out the
first bus people, coming in fifth, and Heather and Eve,
who skydove, beat everyone else on the second bus to
come in sixth.
Here comes the third bus - and none of them being
dummies (well, maybe the models), they all decide to
skydive. Meanwhile, Andre and Damon come in seventh
while the rest of the teams are scrambling to the
Hacienda San Gabriel. Dennis and Andrew come in 8th, The
twins and the African American brother and sisters ask
for directions, while the Soccer moms follow a VERY slow
helper to the Hacienda.
Teri and Ian come in ninth, so it's down to the three
teams in the third bus. Talicia's car lost their clutch
- so they think they are in dead last. But they didn't
get lost, so they wind up getting there before the other
2 teams and come in tenth. When they find this out, they
are very excited. 'WE DON'T CARE WE DON'T CARE!!!
Screams Talicia as she and Tramel dance all over the
Hacienda. The models, lost , bewildered and trying to do
everything to eliminate themselves from the competition,
come in eleventh.
That leaves the soccer moms, who didn't do anything
stupid, but got caught with a bad set of wheels and a
slow helper. They gave it their best, and best, in this
case, was to join the ranks of first groups eliminated
from a reality show. The soccer moms are the first team
to go ILoveyoubuhbye.
12 little teams started
this little competition - until the soccer moms got
booted from the race. Now we have eleven teams left -
and one of them will be getting the red flag at the end
of the hour.
Keeping with the traditional rules, once a team gets to
the pit stop, they have to stay there for 12 hours
before advancing to the next pit stop. Ken and Gerard
were the first there at 10:36 am - they leave at 10:36
pm. They have to drive to Tehotihuacan and find the
Pyramid of the Sun. Flo and Zach are next - and they've
allied with Aaron and Arianne, since 4 people can read
the map better than 2. The next 2 teams have also allied
with each other - Michael and Kathy and John Vito and
Jill. Heather and Eve, who aren't aligned with anyone
yet, are next. Right now, the alliances aren't doing
anyone any good as they have all caught up with each
Ken and Gerard get to the Pyramid of the Sun right when
the father and son team and Ian and Teri leave - but
they'll all get there at around the same time. Andre and
Damon sort of...well...cheated by actually using the
donkey cart to find the shortest race, instead of
following the path. So they get penalized for 78 minutes
and start in ninth instead of seventh. In addition,
Damon has started to get ill and may have come down with
'Montezuma's revenge' - or they got their food poisoned
by the unhappy Amazing Race judges who don't like what
they've been doing so far. Either way, that's not a good
sign, since like in Survivor, the sick people are the
ones who usually leave the party early. Tramel and
Talicia, who now call themselves T and T - get out 10th,
and the models are in last.
Aaron and Arianne have spearheaded an everybody against
the models campaign. They're just too damn pretty...they
don't need to win this race...look at us...we need to
win this race.'. The twins are also known as the 'Doublemints'
maybe because their collective IQ is around the same as
a stick of gum?
The models, not being complete idiots, as they realize
that they are in last, decide to use the Fast Forward -
which is to go to the Museum of Mexican history - and
find the Voladores, who climb to the top of the pole and
dangle by their feet all the way down. The first team to
join the Voladores on their quest and go all the way
down wins the Fast Forward.
The front runners get stuck behind a log-carrying truck,
and since everyone else is following the frontrunners,
everyone is getting stuck as well. But they are all
getting stuck together. Meanwhile, the alliance building
continues, as Teri and Ian find Ken and Dennis, and they
align with each other.
The top 6 teams - including Eve and Heather, who got
there before the alliances, are there bright and early
at 7. John Vito and Jill take the lead - and the clue
says to go to San Marino Marina in Cancun - but the
teams have to get there via a 24 hour bus ride. Flo and
Zach are first, followed by Aaron and Arianne, Kathy and
Michael and Heather and Eve.
In the second tier, Andre and Damon are first, followed
by Teri and Ian and pop/son. T and T are in the process
of blowing themselves up, as they are in...well, where
the heck are they? They're around here somewhere, I
The models, meanwhile, get to the Fast Forward. They
complete it and they get the address of this leg's Pit
Stop - Diamante K Bungalows in the town of Taloon.
The top 6 teams all get to the bus station, and they all
get the 10:00 am bus. Andre and Damon just miss the
first bus - so they get stuck on the 1:30 bus - along
with everyone else that was left. 'It's a new race all
over again.' says Andre and Damon - unfortunately for
them, because they are 3 1/2 hours behind the first bus
- and unless a major disaster happens, one of these
teams - Tramel and Talicia, Andre and Damon, Teri and
Ian, or Dennis and Andrew - will be the second team
And a major disaster does happen - but to their bus. An
automobile accident blocks traffic - and smashes into
the second bus. This takes an additional hour and
change, as the other teams change buses, and the models
are seeing their Fast Forward go down the tubes.
It's 9:42 am and the first bus goes into Cancun bus
station. Everyone pretty much gets there at the same
time - and when they get to the Marina, there is a
detour. Teams have to do one of the following to find a
route marker -
Manpower - use a kayak to search a small area for the
Horsepower - use a Waverunner to search a very large
lagoon for the clue
The teams are split -Ken and Gerard, Flo and Zach and
Heather and Eve do the Waverunner, while Michael and
Kathy and John Vito and Jill, and Ken and Gerard who
does the kayak. 'I feel like the queen of the Nile'
explains Ken. No comment.
Once the teams find the clue, teams then have to go to
Cozumel. Flo and Zach find the flag first, and away they
go. The brothers are second, followed by the rest of the
kayakers - except for John Vito and Jill, who give up
doing that and go back and use the Waverunners. The
ferry to Cozumel is at 1pm. Aaron and Arianne, Michael
and Kathy, Flo and Zach and Heather and Eve get on the
ferry. Ken and Gerard and John Vito and Jill have to
take the next ferry.
While they're waiting for the second ferry, the second
bus gets in and the four teams all get to San Marino
running neck and neck there. At the detour site, they
all take the waverunners. T and T get a little too
reckless as they are steering the Waverunner - and they
overturn the waverunner - T and T now stands for W and W
- wet and waterlogged. But they have company - Teri and
Ian also capsize their waverunner - and it looks like
the race to be booted is down to those 2 teams, as the
other 2 teams are well on their way to Cozumel.
Teri and Ian get there first, as T and T capsize their
Waverunner - again. That looks like the dumb-ass move of
the episode, as Teri and Ian right themselves and get
out of there, leaving them as the only team left at the
Roadblock time - a Roadblock is a task that only one
person can undertake. In this case, the person gets to
swim with the dolphins underwater. Once they get the
clue, they have to get to the Diamante K Bungalows. The
last team to check in can go back and dive with the
dolphins on their own leisure as they will be
Aaron and Arianne get done first, followed by Zach and
Flo. Heather and Eve are third. Michael, who realizes
that he should not be doing this stunt, gets done in
fourth with Kathy. 'I can't skydive, I can't swim...I
can cook though' I somehow don't think there will be a
cooking event here, Michael.
Three of the bottom four teams make the ferry - but T
and T miss it. Well, there's the result of the dumb-ass
move of the episode, and there is your last place team,
barring something incredibly dumb done by the other
The models, meanwhile, still haven't found the Pit Stop,
as they are feuding - but they do get there in first -
how they did that is still a mystery. 'The other teams
are going to be really scared to see us up front, I
Aaron and Arianne are in second. 'We are hell-bent on
getting the Doublemints out of here - they are an
Abercrombie and Fitch campaign gone horribly wrong.'
Heather and Eve come in third, and Michael and Kathy
come in fourth. Flo and Zach come in fifth, Ken and
Gerard are sixth.
The other teams all get to the clue at the same time -
Dennis and Andrew, Teri and Ian, and Andre and Damon
leave the Dolphins in that order - and well behind are T
and T, who are seen in a flashback getting the clue.
John Vito and Jill are in seventh, and there is a huge
gap between them and everyone else that is left. Andre
and Damon pop into eighth, which means that some teams
got lost on the way, since they were behind Dennis and
Andrew and Teri and Ian. Dennis and Andrew come in
ninth, and Teri and Ian come in tenth, as they got lost
- but not as lost as T and T - which should be L and L -
Lost and Last. But that's what happens when dynamite
comes in contact with water - it fizzles out.
Last episode, most of
the teams got lost, and T and T got really lost and blew
themselves right out of the competition. The models are
in first, but they have used their Fast Forward to get
there - and every team wants them out of the
competition. Can they stay in the race? And if so, which
team replaces them as the next team out of the
This week, we are starting from the Diamante K Bungalows
- and the models leave at 3:18 am. They have to go to
Cambridge and go to the marker in front of a business
called Scudamore's. A and A leave next, followed, by Flo
and Zach, Heather and Eve, and Michael and Kathy. All of
the teams have one thing in common - they want to get
rid of the models (AKA Dolce and Gabbana).
The models get to the Airlines first, but meanwhile, the
other 5 teams at the top ally themselves together. The
first flight takes leaves at 7am - and the teams are
already going on a twin hunt. 'Whoever captures a twin,
gets a prize'.
Ken and Gerard lead the second group, followed by Andre
and Damon, Dennis and Andrew, and Teri and Ian. Flo/zach
and Heather/Eve decide to book the whole flight through,
instead of booking on the fly. Everyone is taking their
own flight over there - and clever scheduling can cause
a team to move to the front - or be dropped to the back.
Ken/Gerard, John Vito/Jill and Andre/Damon go to Mexico
City to get to London. Ken/Gerard already have the
tickets to go all the way there, while the other 2 teams
have to hope that those tickets are available. At 11:15
am, the twins depart to go to Miami, then to London. At
11:55 am, Teri and Ian go from Cancun to England.
Andrew and Dennis pull the booking Dumb-Ass move of the
episode - and see all of the tickets getting sold out in
front of them. They finally get their tickets - but not
before all of the other teams are in the air before
them. They are already setting their sights on the Fast
Michael/Kathy and the AA's get to Miami - only to find
that they are out of seats - and that they will be
delayed. That alliance may turn into the battle of who
gets the final space that's available for this leg but
they get business class tickets - and a quick flight to
London to stay in the top group.
But it's the models that get to London first. Ken and
Gerard's flight planning was excellent, as they
scheduled their way into second. Flo/Zach and
Heather/Eve are right on their heels. Once the twins get
to Scudamores, they have a detour to get to the next
Punt - Take a slow boat using a pole to steer it for one
mile to get the marker under the bridge.
Bike - Bike a 6 mile course to get the flags.
The Models decide to boat - and they start to get snippy
while rowing. But they stay dry and get everything
completed well before everyone else even gets to
England. But here comes the great equalizer - the teams
have to take a bus to Aberdeen, Scotland. The first bus
leaves at 7:30pm - the second bus leaves 2,5 hours
later, and the third bus leaves 3.5 hours after that.
It's tantamount to get on that first bus.
The models, knowing that they have 6+ hours to kill,
decide to sunbather and do model like things. This is
the reason why we are all envious of you and we want to
see you lose - we are a jealous nation.
Ken and Gerard decide to punt - and they don't end up
nearly as dry as the models. Both of them take a bath in
the river, to the applause of the locals. They do get to
the marker in second place, however - they can dry off
while waiting for the bus.
Michael and Kathy decide to boat. 'This is corny, I
don't want to be corny' A and A decide to bike. Flo and
Zach and Heather and Eve arrive next - and they all
decide to boat. They are all going in front of Flo and
Zach, who change their minds and decide to bike. All of
the top teams get there for the 7:30 pm bus.
Meanwhile, an unholy alliance may be forming as Ken and
Gerard, who get there second, start talking to the Dolce
and Gabanna twins. Hmmmmmmm.....
John Vito/Jill is the first team in the second group,
followed quickly by Andre/Damon. Teri and Ian are next -
and they think that they are last and Ian is thinking
about giving up. But they're not - Dennis and Andrew are
still nowhere to be seen.
John Vito and Jill are the only group to get to the
second bus. They get there right before 10 pm - and
virtually assure themselves safety for the next few
episodes, as they distance themselves from the back of
Andre/Damon and Teri/Ian punt - and they're both going
the wrong way. Andre and Damon realign themselves and
get there first, followed by Teri and Ian - 'We ran into
Andre and Damon, which means that we are not last - we
are tied for last'.
No, you're not. Andrew and Dennis are - and they go
directly for the Fast Forward. The father and son team
have to drive a tank around a obstacle course at Duxford
Imperial Field. The first team that completes it in less
than 90 seconds gets the Fast Forward.
The rest of the teams now have to go to Stonehaven - and
it's every team against the twins. Flo and Zach wave at
the twins as they pass them into first - and everyone
else is passing the twins too. Heather and Eve and Ken
and Gerard get there first - and hit a roadblock.
One of the people have to complete the Highland Games,
which is comprised of three events - a Caber (pole)
toss, which has to land between 2 lines, a hammer throw
(the hammer has to land on a yellow strip), and a shot
put, which has to continue to be thrown until it goes
past the finish line. When they complete the shot put,
the team gets the next clue.
The twins complete the event first, followed by Ken and
Gerard and the rest of the top groups - except for
Michael and Kathy, who get the first Taxi Driver from
Hell of the season. They went a good 3 miles off course,
and they have to turn around and go back to the Highland
Dunnottar Castle is the next Pit Stop, and all of the
teams have to race on foot to get there. Well, almost
all of them - Dennis and Andrew, who completed the 90
second obstacle course in 77 seconds, get a chauffeured
driven Limo to get there, and Andrew gives us a victory
Dennis and Andrew are really fast
They drove that tank across a lot of grass
We're so fast, we're going to kick your (beep)
I don't think Eminem has much to worry about.
While the dad and son team are celebrating, keep in mind
that they got there a day later than everyone else - can
the Fast Forward make up 24 hours of time?
The twins, the team that every team loves to hate, comes
in first for the second straight week. Ken and Gerard
come in second place, Flo and Zach are in third,
followed by Aaron and Arianne, Heather and Eve, and
Michael and Kathy, who finally find their way to the
John Vito and Jill come in seventh place - and Dennis
and Andrew still haven't shown up. Teri and Ian and
Andre and Damon get to the Highland Games. Ian, who is
sore and winded, tells Teri to do it - and that may have
been a huge strategical error, as they are going
directly against Andre and Damon, who complete the
highland games first. They come in eighth, while Teri
and Ian, who thought that they came in last, survives
and finishes it in ninth.
The bad plane scheduling did Andrew and Dennis in, and
they make history - this is the first time that a team
that used the Fast Forward in an episode did them no
good. So I have a rap for them -
One is called Dennis, the other Andrew
Their flight plan strategy really blew
They wound up finishing in third to last place
so they get to watch someone else win the Amazing Race
More really bad rhyming to come next episode.
We have rid ourselves of
two rapping teams. There are nine teams left - and one
of them will be getting some time to rap some more with
Andrew and TNT. Which team is the next one to get the
We start 12 hours after the first team has gotten in -
for the second straight time, the models leave first as
Derek and Drew leave at 10:56 pm - they have to go to
Stone Haven Harbor - a good mile and a half walk. Ken
and Gerard leave next - and as was suspected last
episode, they have created an evil alliance with the
Following them is Flo and Zack, Aaron and Arianne, and
Heather and Eve - the three major teams in the 'Twin
Hunt' campaign. Michael and Kathy leave 15 minutes
later, and the relationship experiment has thrown some
elements off kilter. 'He is type C and I am type A -
hopefully together we can create a type B'.
The Twin Hunt alliance get to the harbor first - and
they find bottles telling the teams to go to Calem Port
Lodge - in Portugal. The alliance reserves three sets of
tickets - and they're good to go. Michael and Kathy make
their move, as they find someone who will give them a
lift - which is well before the rest of the teams get
their taxi. John Vito and Jill leave 45 minutes after
Michael and Kathy - and by getting a ride from someone
at a local pub, and they join the rest of the teams in
the front pack.
Andre and Damon leave at 5:26 am - well behind the rest
of them - Teri and Ian are right behind them - so they
are the top 2 teams in contention for elimination. Andre
and Damon think ahead and get their tickets - while
spying on Teri and Ian. Both teams take the 10am flight.
The twins and dual brother team take a flight plan that
will get them 25 minutes faster than everyone else - but
there is a 30 minute exchange and both teams will get
seriously screwed if they miss it. The other fivesome
decide that it's too risky and take the slower way.
The slower way, however, is really slow - that allows
Teri and Ian and Andre and Damon to catch up - much to
the chagrin of the other teams, since Andre and Damon
was the team that cut lines and pissed the rest of the
teams off, and Ian is...well...obnoxious. 'Well, me and
Teri are here, and we see almost everyone else here,
which means we are no longer bringing up the
rear...maybe someone else can small some rear end for
awhile.' Spoken like a true gentleman, Ian.
And the early nominees for rear smellers are the models
and the brothers. The plan to go into the lead by 25
minutes looks like it's going to royally backfire, as in
their haste to make the flight connection, they don't
have a boarding pass - and they need one to get on the
flight. If they don't get on that plane - the 2 team
alliance may turn into the battle to avoid being in last
- but the nice airline people hold the plane for them as
they get their boarding passes, so they are delayed by a
little - but they still make their plane and are still
in the lead when the planes land.
The next clue is at Calem Port Lodge. The models and
brothers get in right before 4pm. Everyone else gets in
at 4:15 pm - and the rest of the teams may be switching
from a Twin Hunt to a Get rid of Ian hunt, 'Ian defines
ugly American...I want to see them go down.' says Zach.
Ian's response? 'The gloves are off now - the race is
The AMA (All Male Alliance) of the Models and Ken/Gerard
gets to the Port first - and they run into a Detour. The
teams have to deliver wine - and they can do it in one
of two ways:
Old School - Load one 90 pound barrel of wine into a
Portugal wine ship and row it across the shore. The only
have to make one delivery.
New School - Take a truck, load small crates of bottles
and deliver 3 crates of bottles to 3 different
The AMA decides to only load one big bottle in. Derek
and Drew gets done first and get the next clue first -
go to Gate F - Estadio de Restelo Stadium in Madrid -
for the next clue. When the rest of the teams arrive,
John Vito/Jill, Andre/Damon and Heather and Eve go New
School - Aaron/Arianne, Flo/Zach and Teri/Ian go old
school. Aaron and Arianne get done first, followed by
Teri and Ian. Andre and Damon go to the Majestic Cafe
second, but the rules say you have to go there last -
d'oh!. They see their lead vanish - and vanish even
further when going back to the second stop, they are
boxed in by Heather/Eve and John Vito/Jill.
Who are we leaving out? Oh yeah, Michael and Kathy -
they haven't gotten to the port - they have gotten lost
and are in dead last. They finally got there - and
instead of using the fast Forward, they take the detour
and use the boat.
Andre and Damon help Heather and Eve with their delivery
- and they tell the women to move the truck. John Vito
and Jill get done from the New School group first.
Andre/Damon pass Heather and Eve, and the women are
having massive problems with the car - specifically, the
stick shift. Heather and Eve even get to crash their car
against a pole, but all of the teams get to the train
station in a timely manner - as they are all taking the
same train down to Lisbon. It's a whole new race, much
to the delight of Andre/Damon and Teri/Ian, but to
chagrin to the AMA, as fearing elimination if they stick
as a group, Ken and Gerard decide to disband from the
Ken and Gerard get so the stadium first, followed
quickly by Flo and Zack. Roadblock time - someone has to
block a soccer penalty kick from a Portuguese teen. You
do that, you get the next clue. The Torre de Belem is
the next Pit Stop - teams have to walk a mile and a half
to it. A lot of walking to be done - and that puts Teri
and Ian at a distinct disadvantage. It's even more of a
disadvantage since they did not get there yet - and
neither has Aaron and Arianne.
Michael and Kathy are first, followed by Ken and Gerard
and Andre and Damon, The models are next, Then John Vito
and Jill, Flo and Zack and Heather and Eve. As Ken and
Gerard pass a taxi, they remind themselves that they
have to walk to the Pit Stop, not take a cab there. You
have a feeling that one of those teams is going to
ignore that part of the rule? Like Andre and Damon, who
already have not been reading the clues correctly and
have screwed up once already this episode?
There are 2 teams left on the soccer field - Aaron/Arianne
and Teri/Ian. Arianne decides to block the shot - and
that was a tactical blunder, because she's way too
short. The much older but taller Ian blocks the kick
first and off they go. leaving the Double A's to wonder
if they're double out. 'We're so gone' wails Aaron. They
finally get it done - but they think they're out, but
there'splenty of time to catch up, as Flo and Zach lose
their compass, and Zack looks like he fell and hurt
But the people who really hurt themselves was Heather
and Eve. They wind up being the team that did not read
the clue correctly and commit the dumb-ass move of the
episode by taking a taxi to get there instead of walking
- and they do come in first - but they will also be
penalized. The question is - by how much?
Ken and Gerard are second. Flo and Zack move into third,
followed by the models. Andre and Damon move all the way
up to fifth. Also improving their lot is Teri and Ian,
who come in sixth place. The ugly Americans stay ugly
for another episode. John Vito and Jill come in seventh
place. Michael and Kathy come in eighth place. Aaron and
Arianne do come in ninth place - BUT they are not the
Heather and Eve's mistake cost them a 37 minutes
penalty. That penalty knocks them out of the race and
Aaron and Arianne get to fight another day. Heather and
Eve's day is over - and isn't it ironic that the Harvard
Law students are eliminated because they didn't read the
fine print accurately?