May 1, 2002
So here we are - with a
potential non-elimination episode. So what's the point?
We all know that no one gets eliminated, and the
positions that they are going to be in will probably
change come the end of next episode. So some teams are
here, others are there, and no one gets eliminated, The
Well, since Jason's not going to let me leave the room
with the 500 pound man that is currently eating a vat of
baked beans in the corner until this report is finished,
I guess I'll give you the recap. Thanks, Jay. (JE:
Good move. I had an unlimited supply of beans at the
This year's Kevin and Drew (Gary and Dave) bit the big
one last week, so we are down to four teams: the New
double male team - though this time, instead of lawyers,
they're bouncers (Chris/Alex), the New Team Dysfunction
(Tara/WIl), the New Team Guido (Danny/Oswald) and the
team that doesn't fit into any of last year's
stereotypes, so they will probably be finishing in
fourth place (Blake/Paige).
We start from where we finished last time - the
Australian Outback. And at the Aboriginal Camp, the
Bouncers, who took the Fast Forward last episode, go
first and leave at 3:35 am. The first clue has the teams
going to Queenstown, New Zealands. But first, they have
to get there in an 18 Wheeler half trailers and park
their 4 by 4 in one of the trailers, so that they don't
run into any of the nasty wildlife. Paige and Blake
leave at 5:01, Tara and Wil at 5:05, and Oswals and
Danny at 5:09. Both the siblings and Tara and Wil have
not used their Fast Forwards - which will take them to
the Pit Stop without doing any of the challenges. Will
either of them take advantage of the Fast Forward?
They don't so far, and the teams get to Glendambo, where
the teams have to get either an 10:30 or 11:15 flight to
Adelaide, which will get them a flight to Queenstown.
The bouncers use the phones to call Adelaide - only to
find that 1. No flight is going to Queenstown, and 2.
While they are on the phone, the other teams catch up.
That 90 minute lead that the bouncers had? Buh-bye.
Blake and Paige get directions to get to Adelaide, and
Wil and Tara follow. Chris and Alex take their sweet
time, since they don't think that any flights will be
getting out today. Blake and Paige decide to ignore
Chris and Alex and go to the airport. Wil and Tara
follow them, but Wil is convinced that they are going
the wrong way and him and Tara turn back to the gas
station in Glendambo.
And while he is there, Wil continues to lose his will.
He and Tara start to get into it at the gas station -
again. Tara gets consoled by the bouncers as she whips
Wil back into shape, and away they go to the air strip.
Chris - 'Is Wil losing his marbles or what?' Tara - 'Can
I please have a new partner?'
Blake and Paige and Wil and Tara get a 2:05 flight,
while the 2:45 flightees are the Bouncers and Team
Cha-Cha-Cha. Unbeknownst to the teams, the Bouncers lied
about the flight - there is one that is leaving that
night. But unbeknownst to them, the rest of the teams
get on that same flight.
After an extended stay in the airport, the teams convene
- but Blake and Paige get on the plane first because
they lie when they say that they are not bringing any
bags on with them - and blatantly bring their bags on
board. This, will get them out of the plane first, since
they don't have to check out their baggage, and this, of
course, does not make any of the other teams happy, as
the siblings jump from last to first. 'If they want us
to get nasty in New Zealand, we'll get nasty in New
Zealand' say the Bouncers.
The other three teams decide to even the score against
the siblings. The plane lands in Queensland - and the
other three teams, in the front of the plane, block
Blake and Paige, who are in the back of the plane, from
getting off until the rest of the teams get their
luggage. So it's all even ground as the teams get to the
next destination. - Wentworth Station.
Feeling slighted by the rest of the teams, Blake and
Paige decide to go after the Fast Forward. In order to
get the Fast Forward, the team has to find the flag on a
boat ride down the Shotover river. The other three teams
are on the way to the station, and Wil and Tara take the
lead over the bouncers and team 'Cha-Cha-Cha'
(Oswald/Danny). All 3 teams get to the station within 30
seconds of each other - and the instructions are to go
to the Nevis Highwire Platform. This is the sight of the
worlds greatest bungee jump (400 feet) - which doesn't
make Wil, who's terrified of heights, a happy camper.
This leaves the siblings all alone on the quest for the
Fast Forward - and they get it. The Pit Stop is at the
Inverary Sheep Station on the Canterbury Plains. Tara
and Wil get to the Bungee Station first, followed by the
Bouncers and team Cha-Cha-Cha and. 2 teams can go at a
time, so Danny and Oswald get to wait by the sidelines.
At the top of the jump - there is a detour - both people
at the same time have to Bungee Jump down for 400 feet,
or hike all the way down, which, of course, will cost
the team a bunch of time. Both teams decide to jump.
Tara says don't look down, so, according to Wil, 'Of
course I look down right away'. Wil wants to turn around
and hike. Tara wants to nail Wil with an electric cattle
Tara does convince Wil to jump, and they do it - as Wil
turns purple. 'I thought that he was going to throw up'
says Oswald. The next clue - go to the Inverary Sheep
Station. Wil wants to try to get into Tara's graces, but
Tara is not buying Wil's steaming line of monkey crap.
'Does that mean that we're back together?' 'No.
The Bouncers are next, and they jump. Danny wants to do
this as much as Wil did. 'Ready to lose our lives?'
Danny doesn't want to jump, but Oswald convinces him to.
Meanwhile Tara, sick of Wil not knowing how to drive a
four by four, takes over driving since she is tired of
Wil screwing things up, and more squabbling ensues. Who
is Al and who is Peg in this relationship?
'I screamed like a woman on the way down' says Danny, as
he said that he wanted to go to mommy. Oswald convinces
him to jump, by saying that he will get there quicker
after they have been eliminated. They jump and make it,
but they are in solid last place. The siblings get to
the Pit Stop first - and they win a trip to Puerto Rico
by doing so.
Tara and Wil get to the sheep station next - and they
hit a Roadblock, where Wil says, 'Whatever the Roadblock
is, I'm doing it. ' The person that gets the Roadblock
has to corral three black sheep from the other 22 white
sheep and get them into a small solitary pen. Wil is
around as good at this as Pamela Anderson Lee is as good
at keeping her clothes on.
But he is doing better than both Team Cha-Cha-Cha and
the Bouncers are at directions. They both get lost and
commit the co-dumb-ass moves of the episode. This paves
the way for Wil and Tara to solidify second place, and
since they are the only team that has not used their
Fast Forward, they are a lock to be one of the final
Tara tells Wil to put all of the sheep in the small pen,
and get rid of each white sheep one by one. Wil actually
concedes to Tara, as he whispers 'You're right' under
his breath, and they complete the stunt and take second
Chris and Alex stop for directions, while Oswald and
Danny just drive around aimlessly. By the time Team
Cha-Cha-Cha gets smart and asks for directions, the
Bouncers are at the sheep station. They get it done very
quickly with the exception of one stubborn white sheep.
Chris becomes the sheep whisperer, but as Alex points
out, 'the sheep can't hear you'. He does get the sheep
in, and the bouncers finish in third.
Team Cha-Cha-Cha fail to fandango with the sheep. 'Come
here little girl, or I'll kill you' says Danny, who has
had a long tiring day jumping from heights and herding
sheep. He does get the sheep alone in the cage, albeit
cheating a little by letting the white one out of the
other side of the cage, but who's counting? They're
still coming in last. And as correctly pointed out in
the top of the episode, this is a non-elimination lap,
so all all four teams get to go on. 'We really have no
clue how we've gotten this far' says Danny, and
honestly, neither have I.
The only sure thing is that Wil and Tara, if they're not
dumb and use the Fast Forward, will be in the final
three. The question is which of two of the other three
teams will join them..
Lots of questions to be
answered - Will Tara and Wil be able to act as a
cohesive unit? Can a team hold on to a Fast Forward and
wait until the final round to use it? If that was to
happen, wouldn't that be an incredibly anti-climactic
episode? Will the Bouncers keep their alliance with the
bickering couple? Will Danny and Oswald find love within
each other? Will Blake and Paige last an entire episode
without pissing anyone off? And most important....will
Jason give me a raise for writing these columns???
(Well, no, that isn't the question, but it's sort of
cute to squeak that in - tee hee hee). (Jason note: Let
me think about that one. I'll get back to you.) The real
question is who will be the final three teams left in
the Amazing Race?
We'll find this out momentarily as we start this leg at
the Inverary Sheep Station in Australia. Wil and Tara do
have a Fast Forward - and they can use it now or save it
for the last leg. But it's Blake and Paige that start
first - and they have to go to the Arts and Crafts
Institute in Mallory. The teams have to go to Picton
first and get a ferry that leaves at 11:30 am. If you
miss that, then you have to wait for the next one - 2
Wil and Tara leave the sheep station, and the bickering
continues. 'This is a stressful race - but so is our
everyday lives' says Wil, who wants to stuff Tara in the
trunk of the Motor Home that they are riding in. 'Being
stuck in this race with Wil is driving me crazy' retorts
Tara, and it looks like any relationship there is going
to get run over.
The Bouncers go next, and Danny and Oswald leave an hour
after everyone else, but since the first ferry doesn't
leave until 11:30, that gives everyone time to catch up.
But Tara and Wil's relationship is stalling - or in
neutral, which is how Wil is driving the Car. They get
it back together and drive back to Picton. Wil
apologizes to Tara (finally)....but she is asleep when
he does it and winds up apologizing to the camera. You
are all heart, Wil.
'This is the make or break point of the trip for us'
says Chris and Alex, who along with the siblings, make
the 11:30 ferry. Blake and Paige get a special tag to be
the first let off of the ferry when it arrives. Wil and
Tara come in third, 'How did they beat us?' 'Because we
got lost, Wil'. 'I didn't come here to make friends, I
came here to make money and to win the race' exclaims
Wil, who looks like he is losing his sanity along with
Blake and Paige get on with the magic tag, but Wil and
Tara weasel in by saying that they are all going in
together and they blow past by the siblings, who call
Wil and Tara a bunch of 'jackasses'.
Them, the siblings, and the bouncers all get onto the
ferry, but Danny and Oswald don't. Their whole strategy
was to take their sweet time and to hang out and not
panic. By doing that, they miss the 11:30 ferry and are
now a legitimate 2 hours behind everyone else. And since
they already used the Fast Forward, unless some team
makes a Dumb-Ass move of the episode, Danny and Oswald
can now be called Team Afterthought.
Wil starts to bitch to the Bouncers about Tara, which
pisses off both Tara and the Bouncers. 'If I was Tara's
boyfriend, I'd punch him out' says Alex, who Tara winds
up spending more time with than Wil. This is Tara's
comfort zone, and you get that feeling that Tara and
Alex may be an item when this thing is done.
All 3 teams are in Wellington, and they have to go to a
village in Rotorura, which is inhabited by a Maori
Tribe. Wil tries to suck it up with Tara, but she's
having none of that. And none of the teams are having
any of the Arts and Crafts institute, which does not
open until 7am the next day. This gives Danny and Oswald
new life and a chance to play catch-up, which they do,
so all of the teams are all bunched up again.
And at the 7:00 horn (blown by the Maori tribe), the
place opens, and all of the teams go in, where they are
all stopped by the villagers, and after a ritual, they
go to the next clue - go to The Lost World, which is in
Waltomo cave. Teams have to take a 100 mile drive, and
Tara and Wil, fearing elimination, decide to use the
Fast Forward - which is a trip to Mt. Tarawara and a 'Scree
Run', which is a sprint run down a volcano.
The other three teams continue on their path, with Blake
and Paige in the lead of the three team clump. The
Bouncers get lost, and Danny and Oswald take advantage,
and move into third, with the Bouncers in the perilously
Despite Wil driving 'Wil is driving - we are in trouble'
Tara and WIl get to the volcano - and see that they have
to make a run through volcanic rock. 'Oh My God!'
screams Tara, as she realizes what exactly they have
gotten themselves into. 'I knew that if we took it now,
we would be set uo for the end' exclaims Wil. Actually,
you would be set up if you held it, so you'd know where
the final lap is, but I digress. Tara and Wil complete
the run, and go to the Pit Stop - the Warbirds Hangar in
Blake and Paige get to Waltomo Cave first, followed by
Team Cha-Cha-Cha and the Bouncers. The teams have to get
on gear and do a little spellunking.
Drop - Descend into the Lost World Cave - its a 350 foot
descent, but when you drop down, you will be very close
to the clue.
Climb - Climb down a ladder for 100 feet, then walk the
rest of the way, which will take a lot longer.
The siblings and the Bouncers both decide to repel. The
Gay Friends also decide to 'drop'. The next clue has all
of the teams having to go to '4 Track Adventures'.
Coming out of the cave, the siblings come out first, the
Bouncers overtake Danny and Oswald (whose fear of
heights royally bites him in the ass here) to move into
second. Oswald propels team Cha-Cha-Cha into
Meanwhile, we have more love moments with Tara and Wil:
Wil 'I want to fill up my hat with money. What do you
want to fill up?'
Tara 'I want to fill your mouth with a sock so you can
shut the Hell up'.
But, they do get to Auckland first, and by doing that,
they win a vacation to Los Cabos, New Mexico. But do you
really think that they want to make it together? 'This
race confirms to me at Wil and I are different people' ,
says Tara. Wil agrees, 'I thought that there was some
sort of inkling that me and Tara would get back together
again. Now I've decided that it's time for me to move
on.' You think, Wil?
And its off to 4 Track Adventures - well for the
Siblings and Team Cha-Cha-Cha. But for the second time
this episode, the Bouncers get lost with the maps, and
this time, there is no Danny and Oswald to save them.
But they get saved by Oswald and Danny, who also get
lost and get to the 4 Track after the Bouncers.
The siblings get to the 4 Track - and hit a Road Block -
which only one person can do, The person has to take an
ATV ride to the beach, get the next clue, and drive it
back to their partner. Paige goes first and the bouncers
get there 5 minutes afterwards, who are followed 5
minutes later by Danny and Oswald.
(Jason note: Speaking of Road Block...to answer your
earlier question...no, G.)
Paige gets the clue first - go to the Warbirds Hangar.
Oswald, who's been the goat of the episode, cements that
status by pulling the dumb-ass move of the episode and
getting his ATV stuck, and that's all the time that is
needed for the other 2 teams to get out of there while
Danny is waiting for his partner. Danny is trying to
keep up the good fight, 'We're not out of it yet', but
they are, as Blake and Paige comes in second. And
another wrong turn by Danny and Oswald puts the Bouncers
in third and makes Team Cha-Cha-Cha team Bye-Bye-bye.
So its down to Bouncers, Siblings, and Dysfunctional
Couples, as all three teams talk smack about each other
and in the words of the Bouncers, 'It's Hammer Time', or
in this case, next week is Million Dollar Finals time.
Well, since we are in
the Triple Crown country, it's time to rate the
Tara and Wil: From an intelligence perspective, they've
played the game the best, but from from a teamwork
perspective, it's around as close to scrappie as
possible. They can win if they stay focused - which is
not a given.
The Bouncers: Certainly, the best team, physically, and
the teamwork is vastly better than Tara and Wil's, but
they're rash play almost cost them a spot in the finals.
They must use their collective brainpower if they are to
win the whole thing.
The Siblings: They have the best teamwork from the 2,
and Paige's brain has more than once saved the team from
certain disaster. But can she hold the team for one more
week? And can she hold Blake in a 'Baltimore Quarterback
(just don't do anything stupid with the football)
WIN: Wil and Tara (I predicted them from the start - you
think I'm going to turn back now?)
(Of course, now that I predicted this, if the opposite
happens, it won't surprise me.)
So away we go....
Last time: We have a quick recap of the season, as eight
teams fall by the wayside. The three teams left: the
Bouncers are announced first (but in third), Wil and
Tara announced second (but starting the final leg in
first), and Blake and Paige announced third (but in
second). Foreshadowing? Or do I get to read way too much
We start at the Aircenter in New Zealand. There are 2
laps left. The first lap is jockeying for position. The
last lap is for the money. There are no more Fast
Forwards to be used, so no one gets any advantages. Tara
and Wil leave at 1:03 am - and they to get to the tomb
of Sir John Morgan Campbell - who is called the father
of Auckland. The monument is on the top of One Tree
Hill. 'Hopefully, we'll be able to at least get to the
point where we can get along' says Wil, who has
conceeded the marriahe.
Blake and Paige, who leave around 30 minutes later,
think that they won't and are waiting to pick up the
pieces of their combustion. But Wil and Tara get there
first, and the next destination is the ruins of an old
sugar mill in Hawaii. You get the feeling that since
it's 2am, the great equalizer of the airport opening
will come into play?
The bouncers get out of the gate at 3:56 am - and are
desperately trying to make time up. They will make up
the time, as WIl and Tara find out - all of the flights
are closed for the night. Tara nerves are already shot
as Wil takes the phone from her to schedule a flight -
but he does get one at 7:30 am. Or so he thinks - the
floights are sold out. Oops.
Blake and Paige try to get a re-router from Australia -
and both the siblings and Wil and Tara are making plans
next to each other once the store opens. Both teams are
confident that they made the right trip - and as they
turn around, they see a huge line behind them.
And that's a huge line that the Bouncers are not on, as
they get out of the taxi and see the line. They
unsuccessfully try to bribe to cut in front, but no one
is buying their line of steaming monkey crap and to the
back to the line they go.
Tara tries to console the bouncers, but Wil is having
none Tara's line of steaming monkey crap and he tells
Tara as much. Tara goes over to the guys and says to
them 'Wil told me not to speak to the little maggots.'
Wil, of course, sees Tara fraternizing with the enemy,
and accuses her of telling the guys the best flight to
get to Maui. 'Im not here to make friends, I'm here to
make lots of money'. They continue to squabble some
more, and you get that feeling that if they win, the
money will be in separate checks - mailed to seperate
The Bouncers finally get their tickets - and all three
teams wind up on the same plane. Tara - specifically her
neck - is fraternizing with the enemy, and as the
bouncers are talking trash, WIl looks like he wants to
throw the Bouncers off of the plane. All 3 teams get to
the taxi, and all 3 teams get to the ruins at around the
same time. The next clue has them going to the Water
Tower at a pineapple field. The teams have to drive
themselves there, and at this route, the order is Team
Disfunction, Bouncers, Siblings. They all get there at
the same time.
Detour - Either mountain bike to find the one red
pineapple, or walk and find one of four yellow
pineapples in the field. All of the teams decide to walk
Tara, 'I suck at mountain biking dude'. But not at
piggyback riding, as she gets on Wil's shoulders, and in
a minute, they find a yellow pineapple. The bouncers are
next, with the siblings right behind, and everyone has
to go to the Dock at McGregor Point - then take a boat
to the ruins of Malakini Island. Lots of ruins to go to
on this leg, but so far no team has been ruined. (Hyuk,
All 3 teams do some boating to the ruins. Wil and Tara
get to it first - and it's Sink or Swim' - one of the
people have to go underwater and retrieve a clue in an
underwater crate. Alex finds the crate first, as Tara
sees that and directs Wil to the crate. 'I know Alex is
going to beat that sissy Wil' says Chris, but neither
team can get the crate out of the water, which gives
Blake the chance to catch up.
After some struggling by all three teams, Blake gets the
clue first, followed by Chris, and Wil, who started the
Detour in first, is now in last. Wil is still struggling
to open up the crate as the other 2 teams take off and
Tara is letting him have it. Wil 'I'm trying my best'
Tara, 'It's not good enough, as usual'. Ouch.
Huialoah Church is the Pit Stop for this lap of the leg,
and the other 2 teams, who once they got on shore get to
drive there, are well on their way, Good thing that it's
not an elimination lap, Wil. 'Rip it off, Wil! Everyone
ripped it off!' Idiot.' Wil finally gets the clue a good
ten minutes after everyone else.
The siblings are in their SUV first, followed by the
Bouncers and Team Dysfunction 2002. Wil wants to hear an
apology - he ain't getting it. But he's getting help
from both the siblings and the bouncers, who both get
lost in trying to find where it is. The Bouncers once
again get lost, and they need to get help from the local
natives, who seem to get them even more lost.
Inexplicably, the Bouncers actually listened to the guys
- and are stuck in a land of grass and volcanoes. They
stop to watch the scenery and decide to rough it. 'Man,
what are we thinking?' They do find some road - but not
before being far behind the other teams.
Even more inexplicably, Wil and Tara get back into
second - but Blake and Paige come in first by 15 seconds
and they win the bonus trip - this one to London Paris.
Tara and WIl come in second, while the Bouncers are in
third by over an hour. 'Eliminate us, dude! Eliminate
us!, but Chris and Alex stay in the race. Becuase of a
pesky production bug, Tara and Wil get credited for a
minute, and they also get the vacation to London and
It is the final lap of the race - and the teams get an
additional $1 for this lap. Wow. The first clue takes
them to Hana Bay, where they have to do some climbing -
and then go to Anchorage, Alaska and find Rust's Flying
Service. Wil and Tara and the Siblings get to everything
before the Bouncers, who are behind by around 90
Wil and Tara stay at a hotel and try to find flights
from there. Blake and Paige go to the airport and
attempt to find a flight there. The Bouncers also get to
the airport at around 6am, and the closed airports once
again has everyone neck and neck.
The Bouncers go on the safe (yet long) flight, while
Tara and Wil and the Siblings are looking for the next
flight - and Tara is looking for the next clue. They
seemed to have lost the clue, and now they are asking
the other 2 teams. Both Blake and Paige decide not to
give Tara and Wil the clue, and Wil's nastiness to the
other teams finally comes back to bite him in the ass.
Wil went to go to the Bouncers - and any sort of
alliance has gone bye bye. 'You wouldn't help us in this
sort of situation, so we're not going to help you'.
Wil, of course, chews Tara out. 'You're so-called
friends just dicked you.' 'They didn't dick me, they
dicked you' Unless Wil thinks of something, Wil and
Tara's chance to win the race has gone bye-bye, and Wil
has just committed the million dollar dumb-ass move of
Wi goes back to plead with Blake, and Blake doesn't buy
Wil's steaming line of monkey crap. 'You said 'I will
never help you' Why in the world would I help you if you
said that to me?' Wil is going to have to follow them to
have any chance to win the race. The good news, is that
he will have an opportunity to do so, as they are on the
same plane to Anchorage.
Wil is trying to get a book on Alaska. The teams create
a false clue for Tara and Wil - 'Go take a plane to
Siberia and go to the most desolate place you can find'.
Meanwhile, Tara is looking for a clue - and somehow
remembers that Rusts Airlines is the place where the
next clue is. Wil tells Tara that she's the
best...uh...why not all the time, Wil, since she is the
single reason why you're still in this? Wil, being a
jerk, tells the other 2 teams, who think that it's a
ploy for them to follow.
Both Tara and Wil and the Bouncers get to Anchorage 10
minutes earlier than Blake and Paige, and Tara and Wil
get there first, much to the shock of the Bouncers.
Chris and Alex get in the plane first, and because Wil
and Tara don't have the clue, they have to follow Chris
and Alex to Trapper Creek. The teams get to spend a
night in an igloo and follow a trail the next morning to
the next clue. 'It feels good to have this in our hands
again.' says Wil. 'We have clues but we're not
clueless.' 'Some of us are clueless, but we have
clues...WIl, you're such a jerk. You have the social
skills of a gnat. You treat everyone like dirt and you
expect to be nice...I'd rather not win the race to that
you won't get a penny...I've gotten you to every Pit
Stop along the way.'
Tara couldn't possibly purposely throw the race....could
she? Would she? Wil's reaction? smirk and 'Tomorrow's
another day.' Dude, if it wasn't for Tara, you'd be
stuck somewhere in Anchorage, and you'd better worry
about a mutiny from Tara. Could Tara be so bent on this
relationship thing that she would throw away $1,000,000?
That seems to be the storyline right now - Wil and
Tara's biggest enemy seems to be each other...
The night in the igloos once again acts as the great
equalizer as they all get to the next clue - drive a
Snow Cat (a snow tractor) across a frozen lake to the
next clue. Tara and Wil drop into last, and here goes
Wil's mouth again, ' You're roly-poly out of shape
friends are We would have been up by 15 minutes if you
weren't so stupid.' The next clue has the teams driving
50 miles to Homesteader's in Big Lake.
The Bouncers get there first and have to go to Hurricane
Gulch - they first have to grab a bag of tools gotten at
Homesteader's. Wil apologizes to Tara - sort of. 'I
apologize for yelling at you but I wanted to show you
how it feels to be yelled at - it doesn't feel so good,
does it?' Uhhh...teaching Tara a lesson at THIS point in
the race, Wil? They do, however, overtake the siblings,
who are now in last.
Roadblock time - one of the teammates have to use the
tools to free the clue, which has been frozen in ice.
San Francisco City Landmark #97 is where the next clue
is - and that's the final city of the race. The teams
need to get to Oakland, then go to San Francisco. The
Bouncers get the clue to go to San Francisco first, and
gain time over Tara and Wil, who are squabbling over the
frozen clue. But Paige looks at the squabbling
differently. 'I've seen Tara yell at Wil - I don't think
she's much better than him'.
The Siblings catch up to Tara and Wil and overpass them
- but not by much as Wil gets the clue right afterwards.
'I was born and raised - fourth generation - that's my
city.' New York was Frank and Margarita's city - and we
all know what happened last season...
Back to the plane - and back to the plane equalizer. But
which airport do you go - Fairbanks or Anchorage?
Anchorage has the bigger airport - which means more
flights - but Fairbanks is the closer of the 2 airports.
In the words of Chris, 'This is the decision that will
make or break us'. Truer words were never spoken - but
The Bouncers go to Fairbanks International Airport - and
get a 1am flight. Tara and Wil and Blake and Paige both
go to Anchorage - and they are within 30 feet of each
other. They get a flight to get to Oakland at 9am. Wil
thinks that it's just between 2 teams, but the Bouncers
are already on their way - and they all meet up in
Portland, where Tara once again fraternizes with the
Bouncers, which pisses Wil off - again - for the
So it's down to the last flight - and one last
adventure. Wil is already saying about how San Francisco
is his town - we'll see if it is, or if he is following
in the footsteps of Frank, who thought New York was his
town but let the money slip through his fingers. Oakland
is definitely not Wil's town, as Wil gets into a fight
with the Taxi Controller. 'We're on a race for a million
dollars.' Taxi Controller - 'I'm not getting it' and
neither are Tara and Wil, of they can't get a cab. The
siblings get the first cab, followed by the Bouncers and
Tara and Wil.
Unlike Frank's driver, Tara's taxi driver is 'hauling
ass' and is making time, as Wil knows exactly where the
monument is. But its not enough time for Chris and Alex,
who get there first - they have to find Municipal Pier
on the harbor, Tara and Wil and Blake and Paige get to
the monument at the same time - and Wil knows where it
is. The other 2 teams are asking directions to find it,
but Tara and Wil get there first - and the final exit is
Fort Baker - at Baker Beach - and Wil knows where it is.
Wil, for once, may actually have the key to doing
The Bouncers get there next, and Tara and Wil are
desperately looking for a Taxi. The Bouncers are getting
directions from a police officer when Blake and Paige
get there. Its a race to find a taxi - and the Bouncers
get one first - right at the spot where Wil and Tara
were waiting for one. This turns out to be the million
dollar dumb-ass move of the episode for Wil, who was
inside when the Taxi showed up. Tara and Wil get one
right after the Bouncers, but the Bouncers are smart
enough to follow Wil, who knows where everything in the
city is. The Siblings are still looking for a Taxi, so
this is a 2 team race.
The Bouncer's taxi is following Wil and Tara - and they
know that they can't beat the Bouncers in a foot race.
Blake and Paige finally get a taxi. Tara and Wil are
squabbling in the Taxi, 'Why can't you get some
confidence? Run your ass out run your heart out...who's
quitting now?' For once, we have a role-reversal. Wil
and Tara do a desperate ploy - stopping the taxi and
start to run out, and then take another path - and they
fake Chris and Alex out, as they get to Fort Point, not
Fort Baker - and they do lose Chris and Alex, who now
have to go get directions.
But they don't fake them out completely, and it costs
them a million dollars. Wil and Tara get there with a
half a mile to spare on the final run, but it's not
enough. The Bouncers, the most athletic team in the leg,
make the million dollar push of the episode, and they
pass first Tara, then Wil, on the final run. The
Bouncers pass Wil and Tara with 50 feet left to go and
they win the race.
Wil and Tara are still squabbling after the finish, but
they make up - sort of. Blake and Paige come in third
place. 'I guess second place isn't that bad' laments Wil
'I gave it my all...but it's over...I have to see things
a different way. It's probably better if we (Tara and
Wil) remain friends.' Tara -'I don't feel ashamed at all
about how I ran the race - I don't think I could have
run it any better.'
And for the winner? 'It's emotional, it's physical, it's
a year's of travel in a month First you want to bang
your head against the wall, next minute you're clapping
your hands and celebrating. There's no other way to
describe the race but amazing.' All the teams celebrate,
then fade out. End of show.
My take - this series was much better than the first
version, with more likeable teams. I can't wait to see
the third season. I hope you can't either. Thanks for
reading the recaps.
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