April 3, 2002
In a shocking twist last
week, one of the favorites was eliminated as Shola and
Doyin took the express jeep out of the game (but don't
ask them to do it in shift gear). But the game will
shift again as another team will be shifted out of the
Once again, we start the action before the teams leave
to start the next leg - and the focus is on Blake and
Paige, who seem to be pissing off all of the teams. The
latest ones were the sisters, who accused the siblings
of cutting them and are yelling at them for making the
grannies cry when they cut in front of them.
According to Wil, "Blake and Paige have done everything
under their power to disrupt this race. ..If that's the
way that the game is going to be played - I'll feed him
to the tiger." Blake overhears Wil saying this, and we
get Wil Vs. Blake, Round 1. This ends with the teams
yelling at Blake for not playing by the rules, and Blake
Oswald and Danny (and their healing feet) go first and
they see that they have to go to Bangkok, Thailand -
they have to get there from Windhoek. Remember when Wil
accused Gary and Dave of speeding last episode? Sure
enough, Gary and Dave did speed - as did the bouncers.
Ooooh - lots of cheating - so they get penalized 42
minutes. So Wil and Tara get the second spot, followed
by Gary and Dave.
The siblings and sisters go next, and it seems like
Blake may have had a change of heart. Blake, 'I'm going
to let them go first, since we jumped in front of them'.
That tune changes when Blake and Paige get into their
taxi. 'If we cut in front of them, then we cut in front
of them'. Chris and Alex leave around 4 hours after
Danny and Oswald, including their own penalty for
speeding. They all get the plane tickets to Thailand.
When the teams get to Johannesburg, the teams finagle to
get to the front of the plane. All of the teams get on
the same airplane - 'It's an even level playing field'.
And since all of the teams are waiting at the airport,
we all get a dose of Will and Blake round 2 - they get
involved in the airport, and absolutely nothing gets
solved. Both teams say things are patched up, but
neither team is happy. Gary and Dave may be selling
tickets to that celebrity boxing match that was proposed
Once in Bangkok, the teams have to find the temple
dancers. Gary and Dave get there first, followed by
Blake and Paige. Meanwhile, Tara and Wil are waiting for
Chris and Alex to get their stuff - and WIl wants to end
this alliance. Tara stops him, which leads to even more
squabbling. When Tara reminds Wil that the bouncers
waited for them at the airport, Wil responds with, 'I
don't want to play anymore' and he storms off.
After bitching and moaning with Tara, Wil brings his
happy game face back to the bouncers - they rent a van
to their next destination and Wil takes all of the
credit. Tara looks like she wants to pull the Survivor
Twist game and switch Wil off for a bouncer - or for a
Buddha Statue, for that matter. The sisters take a
skyvan with the pastors. Meanwhile, the gay friends and
the Pastors are still stuck at the airport trying to
find the sky train.
Gary and Dave get to the temple dancers first - and get
a Detour. The decisions the team has to make are as
Confusion now - teams
have to go to a water taxi dock - and find a bird shop -
but it will be easy to do what they have to do (release
a bird cage full of sparrows).
Confusion Later - take a taxi cab to China Town, but
they have to figure out that they have to burn a paper
car in a specific area.
Gary and Dave decide to go to China Town and find the
cars. Wil/Tara, the bouncers, and Blake and Paige all
get to the Temple dancers at the same time. The couple
and the bouncers decide to water taxi it, While the
siblings go to China Town.
The Pastors and the gay friends still can't find the
Temple Dancers. "We really need a lot of help", says
Danny. Personal or Professional? But Danny and Oswald do
a game-saving thing and find a native who is more than
willing to play hooky for the day. The Pastors don't do
anything of the sort and get a Dumbass-Award of the
episode for wandering around aimlessly looking for the
Gary and Dave get the car first, and get a car for
Gary's late grandfather. 'I'm sorry we sent you a BMW' -
they burnt it - but they burnt it at the wrong place. So
they have to go back and get another BMW for Gary's
Danny and Oswald catch up to the siblings and the NY
Geeks, thanks to their guide. Panicking, the siblings
pick the wrong place to burn their car - again - and
have to get a third car. Meanwhile, Gary and Dave
finally burn the second car in the right place, and they
get the next clue - go to the Temple at Ratchaburi and
find a temple in Waikokong there - you can only take the
public buses to get there.
While that's going on, the bouncer/couple alliance
released the sparrows and they are going to the temple.
The sisters get there right afterwards. Blake and Paige
finally get the third car burnt and they are on their
way. The pastors finally get the water taxi - but they
are now in last place.
Gary and Dave get the first bus to Ratchaburi, and Chris
and Alex get the second bus. Wil thinks that they got
put at the bus station, but they are no where near it,
and Tara and Wil squabble again. They recover and get
the 4th bus out there, but they get overtaken by the
sisters, who get the 3rd bus to Ratchaburi. Blake and
Paige get the 5th bus, Oswald and Danny get the 6th bus,
while the Pastors are now getting to the bird market.
You think, for the third straight episode, that a team
may not finish all of the exercises on a leg?
Gary and Dave are caught by the Bouncers, and Gary and
Dave start a little rivalry between Boston and the
Yankees. 'The kid is on a crack pipe', says Chris. But
its the bouncer's taxi that has a cracked pipe, and a
radiator leak forces them to stop while Gary and Dave
take the lead.
The New York Geeks go to the temple first, with Chris
and Alex right behind. But Gary and Dave stop in the
wrong monastery in the temple and the bouncers find the
flag first and get there first to the roadblock. One
member of the team has to find a flag in the cave - the
flag is surrounded by millions of BATS and COCKROACHES.
Chris and Alex get done first, and get the directions to
the Pit Stop - Ban Plai Bon Pang.
Gary and Dave can't find the flag at the temple, and
both the sisters and Blake and Paige go past the NY
Geeks. Peach gets into the cave first before the other 2
teams - but the other 2 teams get out first, causing
Mary to worry. Peach finally comes out and they get
Chris and Alex get a long boat and they are well on
their way to their check in at first, meanwhile, their
alliance buddies, Tara and Wil, are well on their way to
5th, but they are ahead of both the Pastors and Danny
and Oswald, who get to the Bat Temple before the
Wil, 'My karma payback started today. If we get back in
the race, I promise I will not be anything except
humble. praise to Allah.' yeah, ok. Mary and Peach come
in second, Tara and Wil do come in third, and Blake and
Paige come in fourth, with Gary and Dave coming in
The race is coming down to the Pastors and Danny and
Oswald. The Pastors finally get done with the bat cave
but Oswald and Danny squeak it out for the sixth and
final spot. The Pastors slow start comes to haunt them
as they will have plenty of time to hang out with Allah
in Bangkok - because that's as far as they are going in
We no longer have the
favorite for anyone in the high heavens, since the
pastors have experienced the book in the Old Testament
called 'Exodus'. We are down to Danny/Oswald,
Mary/Peach, Alex/Chris, Gary/Dave, and the lovebirds
Tara/Wil and Blake/Paige.
We start by seeing flashbacks of Wil being modest and
humble, Blake and Paige being lost, and the bouncers
moving into first place. And that's where they start
when they leave their Pit Stop - got to Bangkok and find
a flower vendor in Ampawa - which is located in the
biggest flower district in Thailand. Chris and Alex run
into the great equalizer - the non-understanding Taxi
Driver. The sisters go next - and they find a driver
that knows where the place is. Tara and Wil are third,
and after Wil's promise to be humble, Wil immediately
reverts back to Ill Wil and yells at the boat driver. So
much for Wil trying to be more modest. 'He didn't even
last 10 seconds into it' says Tara.
The siblings are next, and then Gary and Dave. All of
the teams get into town, which kills the first place
lead. Gary and Dave start spewing venom about Blake and
Paige. 'I think the only thing they ever cared about was
their sorority slots.' Ouch.
While all of the teams are in the town, Oswald and Danny
finally leave Pai Plong - and they already used their
Fast Forward, so they need another team to make a
massive mistake to get them back into this. 'It is so
frustrating, that it really makes it hard to compete.'
They are already in danger of being an afterthought in
Meanwhile, Gary and Dave are still talking trash. 'In
order to win this race, you need 2 people with the
killer instinct. Peach can't kill anything except maybe
a pink margarita.' This sisters, meanwhile, seem to be
gaining ground on everyone, and seem to be the first
team that has some sort of notion on where the flower
Gary and Dave on Chris and Alex - 'The bouncers are
completely out of their element. There are no beer bongs
here...and there are no drunken women.' The NY Geeks may
be correct on this analysis, since Chris and Alex seem
to actually be moving away from the flower vendors.
Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald do wind up at the party -
and now everyone is at the market, making this a brand
The first team that finally finds the flower vendors is
Chris and Alex, but the sisters, seeing the bouncers
leaving, are right behind them. As for the clue? Find
the Old Bridge in Chiang Mai - take a train to get
there. Tara and Wil are third, Wil 'It took good eyes to
find the flag'. Tara 'You giving me props now?' Wil'....'
Tara 'Nah, didn't think so'. Following the pattern of
people, the siblings are next, then Gary and Dave, and
finally Danny and Oswald, who are starting to become
bitchy because they are in last and they don't have time
But Tara and Wil find out that there is only one train -
for a 15 hour ride - so once again all of the teams are
equalized, thanks to the train leaving. All of the teams
are on the same train, and with the extra time, they all
go SHOPPING!!!! Oswald and Danny are now happy again.
Meanwhile, Gary and Dave are trying to figure out how to
take advantage of the fact that 4 of the teams are
shopping together, while Tara looks like she is trying
to take advantage of the bouncers, much to the chagrin
of Wil - yo, Wil - Tara ain't yours anymore. Get over
The siblings by some shades and fashion accessories,
while Mary and Peach get into a fight over shopping vs.
bartering. CAT FIGHT! Didn't they learn about bartering
a few episodes ago? 'I think it could affect the race,
the tension between us', say Peach. What's tension
filled is the 98 degrees, non-air conditioning ride for
a lovely 15 hour ride. 'The race has only made me
realized that 5 star hotels are worth every penny that
you pay for' says Oswald, Mr. 'once you drink Champagne,
you don't want to drink Pepsi', who is apparently sick
of the whole thing. 'He's in a bad place, so if he
doesn't want to stay in, I can't make him stay' retorts
Danny. Since this isn't a Mark Burnett show, we are
looking at some major foreshadowing here and after this
episode, we may have run out of Minority Teams.
Oswald and Danny kiss and make-up, while Wil seems to be
spending more attention to the 6 year old boy who wants
to play walkie-talkie then with Tara. After the train
ride from Hell, the siblings get the first taxi, while
other teams pair up to split the cost. All of the teams
gather to the next clue - a Detour:
Boat - Use a bamboo raft and navigate the current
Beast - navigate via an elephant
The speeds can vary via how well they use their
Gary and Dave and the sisters do the boat, followed by
the siblings, and Oswald and Dave, who also take the
raft. Wil/Tara and the bouncers also decide to go
rafting - and all 6 teams are on the same river. Danny
and Oswald get their raft grounded, when Danny jumps in
the water, gets the raft out, and steers past the
siblings into third. 'I have a bitch bone in my body',
explains Danny. Meanwhile, the sisters get past Gary and
Dave and take the lead. On the reverse side of the
spectrum, Wil and Tara are in last place, and Wil, by
not listening to Tara, is steering the boat into trees.
Wil, 'If the communication continues to be going the way
it seems to be going, then we're going to lose'. Well,
maybe if you would be a bit more humble, like you
promised you would be...
Mary and Peach get to the next flag first and its time
to go to Mae Ping Village. A home for elephants that
take part in major religious ceremonies. Gary and Dave,
the siblings, Danny and Oswald, the bouncers, and Tara
and Wil complete the order. Gary is yelling at Dave to
not break the speed limit, Dave tells Gary to shut up -
will they take another speed penalty?
Meanwhile, Wil and Tara pass the bouncers and get out of
the dangerous last place position. Mary and Peach get to
the roadblock - have one person wash all of the
traditional markings off of an elephant. The sisters
finish first and Dave, who is bribing the elephant with
peanuts to stand still, come in second. The Pit Stop is
to go to Karen Village, near Chai-Dong 'It was great
until the elephant took a dump on my foot' says Blake,
who finishes in third. Danny and Oswald are right behind
It's a neck and neck race between Tara and Wil and the
bouncers to avoid coming in last. The bouncers are done
first and they go past Tara and Wil into 5th place. All
of the the teams are within minutes of each other.
The sisters wind up in first in this leg, with Gary and
Dave 30 seconds behind them. The siblings come in third,
followed by Dave and Oswald.
But it's the ending of the last 2 teams that made this
episode controversial. Tara and Wil and the bouncers all
walk together to the finish line. And they all knew that
it was a non-elimination lap - since the clue did not
say that the last team would be eliminated. Even though
the bouncers were leading all the way, and even though
that the teams walked together, Wil makes the dumbass
move of the episode by walking in front of the Bouncers
right at the end to grab 5th place. Sure enough, the lap
was a non-elimination one, but that pisses off the
Bouncers and the only team that didn't want to throw Wil
into a dumpster has just grabbed a hefty Bag. 'We will
have to show Wil and teach him a lesson, a lesson in
humility, and we will do that by taking his woman' says
Alex. Someone will be taught a lesson next week, as the
next lap is an elimination lap.
After an uneventful
episode that basically pissed all of the teams off at
Wil, we're off again to an elimination episode - you
come in last this time, and you get to start working on
Survivor 5 application a little bit earlier than you
Mary and Peach start off this leg first - they have to
go to the Seven Spires in the city of Chang Mai. The
Seven Spires is one of the most sacred temples. Gary and
Dave go next 'You're tired, you're not eating right,
you're not sleeping right, you're whole system is out of
whack - you have to deal with it' says Gary. Truer words
were never spoken in this episode, and that will come to
haunt a team big-time.
The brother and sister team are next out of the shoot,
followed by Oswald and Danny. The once-friends, and now
enemies Tara and Wil and the bouncers leave within a
minute of each other.
Mary and Peach, not knowing where they are, decide to
play some strategy and let Gary and Dave pass - so they
can follow them. The strategy works as both teams get
there and read the next clue - go to the top floor on
the tallest building in Hong Kong. The tallest building
in the city is called Central Plaza, and the first 2
teams hail a cab to get to the airport. How much do you
want to guess that the airplane is going to be a bother
Tara and Wil pass Danny and Oswald, who get confused and
need directions. But they are both in front of the last
place bouncers. Sure enough, the airport opens at 6am
and the first flight leaves at 7am, as Gary and Dave
find out the hard way. All of the teams attempt to make
the reservations via phone.
Dave screws up the reservations, gets a 10:40 flight,
and gets chewed out by Gary, while Tara just gets chewed
out by Wil for whatever reason that Wil feels like
chewing Tara out for. The bouncers decide to make
nice-nice with Tara and Wil again - 'keep your friends
close, but keep your enemies closer', as the bouncers
are trying to figure out when is the right time to make
the puncture wounds in Wil and Tara's backs.
But back to the plane flights. All of the teams get on
the flight to Hong Kong together in one group as Gary
and Dave get the early lead out of the airport. Next
stop? Train tickets, and Gary and Dave is the only team
that gets the first train. The bouncers, the siblings,
and Tara and WIl take the second train, while Danny and
Oswald take the third train. The sisters make the
dumb-ass move of the episode early, and lose the map
while they get into the fourth train.
Gary and Dave find Central Plaza and get the next clue -
using binoculars, find the green and white colors of the
Star Ferry Terminal - which will take them across the
harbor to the next clue. The newly patched up Bouncer
and Tara/Wil alliance are next. And they are on the way
up while Gary and Dave are still trying to find the
green and white colors. Gary and Dave get sick of
looking and elect to go to the Fast Forward.
A team can only use the Fast Forward once during the
trip - but it gives them the directions to the Pit Stop
without having to do any more challenges for the leg.
This Fast Forward is in Wai Son Temple - they have to
find Fortune Teller Amelia Chow, and each team member
gets a reading (one member a palm reading, the other
member a face reading). Gary and Dave decide to do this
and leave just as the threesome arrive. 'This is like
finding a needle in a haystack', says Paige, as they are
looking for it.
Oswald and Danny are trailing, but at least they know
where they are going - unlike the sisters, who are
telling the Taxi Driver the wrong place to go - 'There
is no central - it's center' says Mary, when they find
out that it is Central, Peach looks like she wants to
shove Mary under the taxi. After getting frustrated in
failing to find the building (how can you not find the
biggest building in Hong Kong?) they also elect to go
for the Fast Forward, whch is described by Gary and Dave
like this, 'Using the Fast Forward is like losing your
virginity - you can only use it once and you can never
go back to it. That's why we're a little scared but also
a bit giddy.' You better hurry, or it will be Mary and
Peach that will pop your cherry.
Chris and Wil find the ferry - and all six leave right
as Danny and Oswald get there - and they find it much
quicker than the six pack - so much quicker that they
meet them down there while they are waiting for the next
ferry. Meanwhile, Gary and Dave get to the Wai Sin
Temple first, but the sister don't know this and proceed
down there, pretty much wrapping their fate, barring
disaster befalling one of the other teams. 'You don't
have to be a mind reader to read what's on our face'.
What about you're screwed?
The 4 pack of teams hit a detour -
Wishing Tree - Go 18 miles to find a tree, write a wish
on it, and toss it in the center of the area.
Herbal Tea - find a Tea shop in a crowded marketplace
and drink a foul smelling tea.
Danny and Oswald decide to find the tree. The rest go
Gary and Dave find Amelia Chow, get the reading done -
which is her saying that they are competing against
other teams (wheeeee). They get the Fast Forward - go to
Hong Kong Harbor and find a junk with that orange flag
Mary and Peach find Amelia Chow - 10 minutes after Gary
and Dave do. 'Today has been nothing but negatives -
it's been nothing but one big mistake.' Well the big
mistake will culminate in you getting ejected from the
Mary ' The number one rule is never quit, so we'll
continue to see what happens'. What happens is that Mary
is not using her head and panicking - instead of
following the clue, she is asking for directions. Duh.
Meanwhile, Gary and Dave get to the harbor and find the
galleon that they are looking for. They come in first
place for the leg.
Mary and Peach finally get to the detour - but Tara and
Wil have gotten to the tea place at 3:05. 'There were 18
ingredients and I didn't recognize any of them'. They
get the next clue - go to the Hong Kong Container Port -
specifically the HIT Terminals. The Bouncers get there
at 3:12pm. Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald get to the tree
at 3:18. 'I wished for love. I wished for good health
for the entire family' Awwwwwwbarf.
Blake and Paige get to the tea, and away they go to the
Container Ports. But Wil and Tara are first, followed by
the bouncers. While they're are at it, Danny and Oswald
have a great exchange.
Danny - 'You haven't let me eat?'
Oswald - 'No, I I haven't let you eaten - we're trying
to finish this leg, we can not stop for food.'
D: You're not even letting me go to the
bathroom...there's food over there'
O: You have been eliminated (silence) I do not want to
hear those words.
We now know who wears the pants in the team, so to
speak. Not that they have anything to worry about, since
Mary and Peach are still stuck in the town looking for
Roadblock time - the person selected has to get up into
a crane and move a container off of a truck onto the
ground. Once the crane is back in place, the teams can
take the clue that's on the container that they just
moved onto the ground.
The bouncers and Wil and Tara make thie s friendly
competition. 'We have to beat Wil and Tara' But it's
Tara that has taken the quick lead. 'She's good' says
Wil. Where are these compliments in front of Tara?
Meawhile, it's the bouncers turn to bitch at each other,
as Alex is yelling to Chris. 'What the hell are you
doing?....NOOOOO!!!!!' Tara completes the stunt first
'My greatest achievement of the race so far has been
that I beat Chris at the roadblock. He's the biggest guy
here - and I whooped him.' Wil, of course, has no
problems rubbing that in as he trash talks to Alex.
'Sometimes girls are better than guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Tara and Wil get the final clue - get to that junk in
Hong Kong Harbor. And they run to a taxi - which just
got flagged by someone else. The bouncers take the first
taxi out of the construction area. Danny and Oswald get
there next, and they are joined by Blake and Paige.
Danny finishes first. 'I was starting to feel just a big
masculine' uhhhh...yeah. Ok.
Mary and Peach are still looking for the Tea Shop - but
Blake doesn't know that, and he thinks that they are in
last , so he tries to rush it, which backfires on him
big-time and he has to redo the whole thing. This gives
Mary and Peach a possible back door into gaining some
ground, but Peach, who's sick, tired, and hungry, finds
the wrong time to make a power play. She refuses to
drink it, and her stalling is costing the team whatever
chance that they had into getting back into the race.
Mary convinces Peach to drink it, and she does - but she
gets even sicker and throws up, which costs the team
even more precious time.
The sun is starting to set - and maybe set on Blake's
chances, but he does get it done and they get the
directions to the Pit Stop, This pretty much deep sixes
the sisters, as Mary consoles Peach, but Peach has had
enough and wants to quit. Yes, she contributed, but if
Mary didn't lose the map, then they woudn't have gotten
so ragged out in the first place and maybe Peach
could have stayed physically able to continue.
The Bouncers, thanks to the aid of a lone Taxi, come in
second place. Wil and Tara come in third, as both teams
at the bottom have catapulted themselves back to the
top. In the sunset, despite getting lost, Oswald and
Danny come in fourth, despite Danny's promise to throw
up on Phil's shoes if he gets sea-sick. Blake and Paige
come in fifth, and for the fourth time in the show, a
team does not get to finish the final challenge as the
sisters come in last. And for the second time ever, a
team jumps from first place to eliminated in one single
episode. History may repeat itself next week with
another team going bye bye.
So after watching a
Survivor Episode which was mostly used to generate
higher rating... I mean to catch-up everyone as to
what's going on, we have a Amazing Race which will be
used to generate higher rating... I mean have a 2 hour
special episode. If you follow the pattern of the
episodes from last season, this episode should be a
non-elimination lap, but would they really have a 2 hour
special if they didn't eliminate anyone at the end of
it? Or could it be 2 episodes combined into one big one?
Well, let's find out together...
Last week, Peach lost...well, her Peaches...as well as
the rest of her lunch, as her and Mary throw themselves
up and out of the race. This leaves Gary and Dave (New
York Geeks), Tara and Wil (estranged couple), Chris and
Alex (bouncers), Danny and Oswald (gay friends) and
Blake and Paige (siblings) left in the race.
The first clue for this leg is at the statue of Tien-Hou
is Rifalse Bay. 'Our Fast-Forward lead has been
destroyed by the luck of the clue.' That is has, since
the park doesn't open until 8am - more than enough time
for all of the teams to play catch-up. The Bouncers go
next - and they wait for the first bus to leave to get
to Rifalse Bay - at 6am.
Wil and Tara are next - and Wil starts to decompose. Wil
wants to go to use the Fast Forward - which is in Po Lin
Monastery. You can only use one Fast Forward for the
duration of the race, and Wil wants to use it now - but
Tara told the Bouncers that they were going to use the
Fast Forward, and since Wil knows this, he second
guesses Tara and they decide to turn around and not use
it, thinking that the Bouncers have already used it. 'Wil
is so worried about the other teams that he is not
playing his own game'.
Oswald and Danny's strategy is to go against what all of
the other teams are doing and going - do all of the
different detours, staying at the hotels - basically
ignoring the strategy that the rest of the teams are
following. Blake and Paige are in last - and they know
it. 'We can't afford to make any more mistakes' says
Wil and Tara and Blake and Paige take the same bus to
get to the statue - and when they get to the statue -
and see the Bouncers there. Wil talks about continuing
the alliance, while Tara continues to chew out Wil.
D'oh! Oswald and Danny stay at the hotel next door, and
just get there before the park opens. The next clue - go
to the Murray House. During this trip, Gary and Dave
create a new nickname for Danny and Oswald - Team
'Cha-Cha-Cha'. Meanwhile, the rest of the teams have a
nickname for Gary and Dave - 'Itchy and Scratchy'. Can't
you feel the love?
The Bouncers get to Murray House first, and they hit a
detour: Dragon or Lion - Either paddle a Dragon boat,
which will be harder to maneuver, but on a shorter
course, or walk around the village in a Lion Costume,
which will be easy to maneuver, but the course is 4
times as long.
All of the teams are there - except Blake and Paige, who
are taking a long Taxi ride to nowhere. The great
equalizer has struck again, and the siblings are the
latest victim of the Taxi Driver from Hell.
The first 3 teams decide to take the Dragon Boat, and
Danny and Oswald see this - so of course, following
their own strategy, they decide to put on the Lion
costume. Meanwhile, Blake uses the Taxi driver's cell
phone to realize that they are going in the complete
opposite direction, and the costume they want to put on
the driver (who had a face of uh-oh when he heard Murray
House) is the Dumbass costume.
After a quick call to the tourism board, who gives the
taxi driver directions, they are on the way to Murray
Hill, but all of the other teams are well on their way
through the course - the bouncers finish the course and
get the next set of instructions - go to the Opera House
in Sydney, Australia. Benefitting with their bizarre do
whatever the other teams don't do mentality, Oswald and
Danny are in second, followed by Wil and Tara, while
Gary and Dave, who were the first people at Murray Hill,
are the last people out of the hill. But they are doing
better than Blake and Paige, who play with the Lion
costume in last place.
The teams are calling ahead to get the airlines. Danny
and Oswald get themselves in stand-by, while Gary and
Dave attempt to get a flight as well. They run into
Oswald and Danny, who blatantly lie to the New York
Geeks and say that they didn't make any reservations.
The gay pals continue their strategy and go to the 5
star hotels for a recommendation on the best travel
agency to use. Tara and Wil run into the bouncers at the
airport. Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald get to the travel
agency, who say that they can get them the flight in an
hour. So while they're waiting, they decide to do what
any other pair of gay friends would do - SHOPPING!!!!!
Danny and Oswald, or team 'Cha-cha cha', as they are
being called by the rest of the teams, saunter to the
airlines as the teams make the plans to go to Australia.
The Bouncers and Tara and Wil get the quickest flight
out of there. And when they are done, Gary and Dave
start to rant. 'We would like to get the same flight
that the 2 deceitful ugly teams just got on'. But they
are not alone in venom distribution. Blake, 'Gary and
David are definitely the ugliest Americans that I have
ever seen'. If Rosie O' Donnell decides to do the
Amazing Race reunion special, she may want to think
about giving each team their own bleacher.
All 4 teams take the first flight out - with Danny and
Oswald taking the next flight 2 hours later. But don't
they loook so marrrrrrrvelous? But thanks to the travel
agency, Danny and Oswald make it there first, but none
of the other teams realize this as they make fun of Team
'Cha-Cha-Cha' Roadblock time - one member of the team
has to go on a scavenger hunt - but the clues
are all in Australian slang.
Team Cha-cha-cha go first - and Oswald first has to
'Check out the surfie in the Lairy Daks (guy in a
surfboard) - then find an ankle biter (no, I will not
make any gay jokes here - it's a kid in a bike), find a
Sheila in an Aussie Cozzie (girl in a bathing suit) and
then a bushie (someone in the country side with a
parrot) - then go to the Pit Stop - the Museum of
Contemporary Arts. The first team that gets there wins a
Caribbean Cruise Vacation (oooooooooooohhhhh).
Neither Blake or Wil will be going to the Caribbean, as
they both pull the dumb-ass move of the episode and NOT
READ THE CLUE, which said to find a whole set of clues
before returning to their partner. They both return to
their partners, who in turn both yell at them. Then both
people bring their teammates with them, also a definite
no no to the rules. In the words of Gary, 'What an
Oswald and Danny get there first - and they win the
vacation. The Bouncers get there second, followed by
Gary and Dave. Tara and Wil get to the Bushie before
reading the clue which says RETURN TO YOUR PARTNER - and
Tara realized that Wil screwed this up too. 'Wil, we
have to do this all over again. You (BLEEPED) this up.'
You have that feeling that Tara probably wishes that she
could be an honorary member of the Bouncers?
That being said, there has been no mention of the last
team being eliminated, so it looks like this series will
be true to form and it will be a non-elimination lap,
which is a good thing, since this part of the race has
been nothing short of a comedy of errors for Wil/Tara
and Blake/Paige. Blake has to do it again as well as
Tara and Paige are waiting on the steps.
Paige, 'I can't believe this.' Tara, 'I can, with Wil'
The women vow never to have the guys do a roadblock ever
again. 'Wil, you never read them', and both Tara and Wil
are squabbling all the way to the Museum of Contemporary
Art. But Wil and Tara get to squabble another day, as
they get to be in fourth place. Blake and Paige get
another taxi from hell, and they get sent to the wrong
Museum. That gets them put into last place. However,
they also get to squabble for another day as this is a
But this episode transitions into the next episode -
which starts off in Sydney. Sydney Harbor Bridge is the
first location of the clue, and in order to get that,
you need to get register with the Sydney Bridge Climb
(and of course, climb across the Sydney Bridge). The
Sydney Bridge Climb doesn't open until 5:45 am, so this
brings all of the teams back together again - well,
almost all of them. Chris and Alex decide that now is
the time to use the Fast Forward. Harry's Cafe is the
site of the Fast Forward, and each person on the team
has to eat a meat pie. Gary and Dave are next out of the
blocks, followed by Wil and Tara and Blake and Paige.
Wil finally seems to be getting it (or is at least
starting to feel the pain of Tara smacking Wil over the
head with her pocketbook). 'I've been thinking so much
about what all of the other teams have been doing that
our own game plan has been slipping.' Blake 'All of the
sacrifices that we've made have been for this point'.
The Bouncers have told Blake and Paige that they are
going for the Fast Forward, but Blake and Paige decide
to go for it anyways. Chris and Alex get the Fast
Forward - which tells them that the Pit Stop for this
leg is in the Aboriginal Bush Camp in Koober Pidy - in
the Australian Outback.
Gary and Dave, while waiting for the Bridge to open,
decide to beg for money while they were hanging out
outside. The siblings find out that Chris and Alex did
take the Fast Forward so they go sign up at the bridge.
Blake and Paige and Gary and Dave sleep outside - and
it's raining. Oops. Team Cha-Cha-Cha of course stayed in
the poshy hotel and all of the teams convene by the
Go to Adelaide to Coober Pidy and go to the Metal Tree -
which is located next to the Big Wench. Meanwhile, Chris
and Alex are staying out in Melbourne and they get the
first flight to Adelaide. Danny and Oswald use the taxi
driver's cell phone to get a 710 flight - and away they
go. Wil, who freaks out over heights, gets over it,
traverses the bridge, and gets to the airport, where
they purchase 8:10 tickets along with Gary and Dave -
but Blake and Paige get stand-by tickets, and if they
don't get on the 8:10 plane, those stand-by tickets
could turn into bye-bye tickets. But they do find a
flight and the bottom 3 teams are all on the same
The teams have to fly to Coober Pidy via the National
Jet Service - which hosts teams - but 2 teams at a time.
Danny and Oswald get to the Service for the 1pm flight -
which is the same plane as the Bouncers. It's a furious
race to get to the 1:15 flight - Tara and Wil and Blake
and Paige get it. Gary and Dave get the last flight, and
Gary smacks his fist on the floor in frustration. Oswald
and Wil call for instructions on how to get to the Big
Winch (Wil to Tara - 'I thought you were the big Wench'
- WINCH, Wil, WINCH - well, we see how Wil screws up the
Roadblocks now don't we?
All of the teams are within 30 minutes of each other.
Danny and Oswald run to the Big Winch, while the
Bouncers are running to the Pit Stop. All of the teams
are griping about the weather. As the couple and the
siblings get there next - but Danny and Oswald get to
the detour first.
Coold Down - Dig for an opal in The Opal Quest Mine - it
could take a while, but at least you'll be cool.
Heat Up - Play 3 holes of golf in the dryest course in
the world. You just get a map to determine where you go
in temperatures of 130 degrees.
Oswald and Danny and Wil and Tara decide to do some
mining. Blake and Paige decide to go golfing. Gary and
Dave go mining. Chris and Alex get to the Bush Camp in
first, win a vacation to Cancun, and immediately get
eaten by the natives....well, they don't, but that's the
last of them that you will see for the episode.
Wil starts second guessing again, but Tara 'It's too
late for that now' stops him, and they descend into the
caves that Danny and Oswald are currently exploring, 'It
looks like everyone that is here are all dressed up out
of the Village People'. Wil, 'It's going to take
forever' Tara, 'Of course it's going to take forever,
you're just sitting there.'
From the Bundy's to the Siblings - Blake and Paige think
that they will make up some massive time with this - but
they did not complete the hole, so they have to redo it.
Tara and WIl think they found one - but they didn't.
'Why are we doing this? I'm not a miner' Tara - 'You're
not a miner, you're an idiot!' But they are doing better
than Blake and Paige, who haven't completed a hole.
Futility continues to go all around - Danny and Oswald
think that they have found an opal - but they haven't
and the miner sends them back to the mines. Danny -
'We're never going to finish'. Blake and Paige have
completed all 3 holes - and they get to go to Lookout 2
of the Breakaways National Park and follow the trail of
valleys to the next clue.
Oswald and Danny finally get an opal and they get to go
to the Breakaways. Gary and Dave finally give up mining
and decide to go golfing. Tara and Wil stay at the mines
while Wil is still checking for Opals - is he looking
for the dumbass move of the episode too?
Gary and Dave may have, as Tara and Wil get the opal and
are on their way. Oswald and Danny ask for and get
directions, while Gary and Dave finally get to the golf
course. Blake and Paige get to the Lookout first and get
to the Roadblock - throw a boomerang from a circle and
make sure the boomerang lands inside the circle. Tara
and Wil and Danny and Oswald are now going neck and neck
to the Roadblock and all three teams get there just as
Gary and Dave complete their third golf hole.
Since there is one circle, all 3 teams alternate throws
- and none of them are completing it, which prompts
fears that Gary and Dave will catch up to them. WIl 'If
itchy and scratchy catch up...' Blake 'We're going to
kill you all'. Blake and Paige do finish the boomerang
throw first - and they have to hike to the Aboriginal
Camp. Blake and Paige come in second.
Tara - 'You''re limp-wristed too.' Oswald 'Shut up,
Bitch'. Tara does complete it, and her and WIl come in
third. Tara bitch-slaps Wil for 'quitting ten times
today', but all is well in the bickering Bickersons
camp. Things are good in the limp-wristed camp as well,
as Danny and Oswald complete the stunt and come in
This leaves Gary and Dave - whose change of heart to go
golfing does become the Dumb-Ass move of the episode.
'Can you just give me one more chance for old-times
sake?' asks Gary. Uhhhhhhh.....no - as this New York
team finishes one space worse than the Frat Pack from
Amazing Race 1. And then there were four - which will
stay four after next week (non-elimination lap #3) - but
at least the recap will be sort of entertaining....I