TOURNAMENT 3
EPISODE 4

NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR

Here we go again with the third rendtion of CELEBRITY POKER SHOWDOWN, the serious cash-money tournament that plays like Beverly Hills home games!  There will, as always, be five games of five celebs each, with the winner of each game advancing to the Final Table and a big piece of the $250,000 Prize Pool for his/her charity. (No telling who put up the Prize Pool this time around).

Once again, a returning player joins four rookies at this final table before the...uh,...Final Table:

CELEBRITY BIO

Hank Azaria
playing for Project ALS		 Back from being the first man eliminated from his first-=season prelim table, the voice of almost every non-Simpson character on The Simpsons is back for another go-round. But will he make it to the Final Table this time, or will his cards STILL make him "have a cow"?

Gail O'Grady
playing for Elephant Sanctuary		 After spending time on NYPD Blue, Gail appeared in several films before landing a role as Hele Pryon on NBC's hit drama American Dreams. Will she be feeling blue or dreamy after this tournament?

Seth Meyers
playing for the Jimmy Fund		 Comedian Seth has only STARTED his career in show business. But he seems to be funny enough to not be ready for prime time and landed a role on Saturday Night Live. Will he be laughing all the way to the bank...or take a Chevy Chase-like fall?

Amy Poehler
playing for Rosie's Place (women's shelter in Boston)		 Amy is ALSO an SNL regular, but she ALSO had a role on Comedy Central's Upright Citizens Brigade and the movie "Wet Hot American Summer". Will this be a good summer for Amy...or will she stand "upright" and leave for the Lounge?

Jeff Ross
playing for Meals on Wheels		 This comedian has been in several successful comedy movies, most recent being "National Security" and "Along Came Polly" He's also working on reviving The Gong Show on the WB. Will he secure a victory...or be gonged out of the table?

Each celebrity will start with $10,000 worth of chips and the game will continue until one celebrity has all $50K in his/her possession, thus making him/her eligible for the Final Table later in the year.  At the announcers' position beside the Losers' Lounge are host Dave Foley and poker expert Phil Gordon.  They'll be calling the action emanating from the main room.

All right, enough of this crapola.  As Tournament Director Robert Thompson says. let's SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL!

Initial blinds are $50 (SB) and $100 (BB).  The Dealer Button (D) starts on Amy.

Amy Seth Gail (D) Jeff (SB) Hank (BB)
Even before the cards are dealt, Hank says he's "all-in". Of course, he's out of turn, so it doesn't count...even if he WASN'T joking.
9♥ 9♠ K♦ 10♦ J♣ 2♥ 6♣ 5♥ A♠ 10♣
Calls $100 Raises to $600 FOLD FOLD Raises to $1200
FOLD Calls $600
FLOP: 5♦ K♠ 10♥
Seth flopped two pair.
Bets $600
Raises to $1800 FOLD
WIN $4950
The table then talks about Phil Gordon. Amy claims to have dated him for 3 years. Jeff claims he has the "bluest eyes"...and Hank says he's uncomfortable.



Hank Amy Seth (D) Gail (SB) Jeff (BB)
6♦ 4♠ 10♥ 9♥ 9♣ 5♣ Q♣ 10♦ Q♠ 2♣
FOLD Calls $100 FOLD Raises to $250 FOLD
Calls $150
FLOP: 3♥ 3♦ A♠
Bets $400
FOLD
WIN $1000



CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $12,300
Gail O'Grady $10,250
Jeff Ross $9850
Amy Poehler $9300
Hank Azaria $8300



Amy Seth Gail (D) Jeff (SB) Hank (BB)
A♣ A♦ K♦ 8♠ J♠ 2♦ 10♥ 8♦ 10♠ 6♠
Raises to $500 FOLD FOLD FOLD FOLD
WIN $650
Hank bugs tourney director Robert Thompson about reminding him to post a blind...and Jeff asks Robert if he even WORKS at the Palms. And, BTW, Amy overplayed her Aces.



Seth Gail Jeff (D) Hank (SB) Amy (BB)
10♦ 4♥ A♠ K♣ Q♦ 3♦ A♥ 8♣ J♦ 2♥
FOLD Raises to $600 FOLD Raises to $1200 FOLD
Calls $600
FLOP: 4♣ 3♥ 6♥
Bets $2000
FOLD
WIN $4500



Seth Gail Jeff (D) Hank (SB) Amy (BB)
A♦ A♥ 9♦ 4♣ A♠ 10♣ 6♥ 2♠ 9♠ 7♠
Raises to $600 FOLD Calls $600 FOLD FOLD
Hank: "Robert and Amy are actually brother and sister."
Seth: "Everyone who works here is a relative."
Jeff: "I'm a Maloof!" (The Maloof brothers own the Palms, as well as the Sacramento Kings)
FLOP: 2♣ Q♦ 7♥
Bets $1200 FOLD
WIN $2550
Seth was fine with HIS Aces before the Flop...but he overbet after the Flop. Still, he $600 plus the blinds.



Gail Jeff Hank (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
Q♣ 10♠ J♦ 6♠ K♥ 7♦ J♥ 4♦ J♣ 10♥
Raises to $200 FOLD FOLD FOLD Raises to $600
Calls $400
FLOP: 10♣ A♣ 3♥
Both flopped "middle pair"...BUT, Gail has a flush draw AND a better kicker with the Queen.
Bets $600
Calls $600
TURN: 2♥
Bets $1200
Calls $1200
RIVER: 8♠
COMMUNITY: A♣ 10♣ 8♠ 3♥ 2♥
CHECK
CHECK
10♠ 10♣A♣Q♣8♠ 10♥10♣A♣J♣8♠
WIN $4850


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $11,700
Gail O'Grady $10,400
Hank Azaria $9500
Amy Poehler $9400
Jeff Ross $9000

The price of poker has gone up; blinds are now $100 (SB) and $200 (BB).

Amy Seth Gail (D) Jeff (SB) Hank (BB)
K♦ 7♠ 7♣ 2♠ K♥ 8♠ J♠ 4♥ 3♠ 3♣
FOLD FOLD Raises to $400 FOLD Raises to $1000
Calls $600
FLOP: 9♠ 6♠ 5♦
Bets $2000
FOLD
WIN $4100



Seth Gail Jeff (D) Hank (SB) Amy (BB)
7♣ 6♥ K♠ 9♦ A♠ K♣ A♦ 8♠ K♦ 2♣
FOLD Raises to $400 Raises to $800 FOLD FOLD
Calls $400
FLOP: J♦ 10♣ 9♠
Both Gail and Jeff have inside straight draws...but a Queen would give Jeff an ACE-high straight (called "Broadway") while Gail would only have a KING-high straight.
Bets $1000 FOLD
WIN $2900
Jeff is showing himself as a tight player, so an aggresive bet like Gail's will scare him out every time.



Hand 10

Gail Jeff Hank (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
J♦ 7♦ 6♦ 6♥ Q♣ 4♠ 7♥ 5♣ 4♥ 2♣
FOLD Calls $200 Raises to $600 FOLD FOLD
Calls $400
The players come up with nicknames for each other. Jeff is "Foldy" (though he'd rather be "Paris Hilton" since, according to him, he's "going down faster than her"), Seth is "Overbet", Amy wants to be "Lady Fantastic" and Hank wants to be..."Tamara"?
FLOP: 3♣ 5♦ 2♠
CHECK Bets $1000
Calls $1000
TURN: 8♠
CHECK Bets $2000
FOLD
WIN $5500



Seth Gail Jeff (D) Hank (SB) Amy (BB)
J♣ J♦ 5♠ 3♠ 9♠ 3♥ A♥ 10♠ A♣ 2♠
Raises to $600 FOLD FOLD Raises to $1500 FOLD
Calls $900
FLOP: Q♠ 8♦ 9♥
Bets $2000
Raises to $4000 FOLD
WIN $9200
Jeff shows off his good-luck charm: the late Buddy Hackett's ring...which Jeff says he stole.



Gail Jeff Hank (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
9♥ 7♦ 10♠ 2♠ 7♣ 3♠ 2♣ 2♦ 2♣ Q♥
FOLD FOLD Raises to $600 Calls $500 Calls $400
FLOP: Q♣ 6♠ A♥
FOLD Bets $1200
FOLD
WIN $3000
When Amy folded, she started swearing like a sailor!


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $16,500
Gail O'Grady $10,800
Amy Poehler $8600
Hank Azaria $8400
Jeff Ross $5700



Gail Jeff Hank (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
8♥ 8♦ 3♥ 2♥ Q♥ 5♣ A♥ K♦ ??♠ ???♠
Raises to $600 FOLD FOLD Raises to $1000 FOLD
Calls $400
FLOP: 9♦ J♥ 9♣
CHECK
Bets $1000 Calls $1000
TURN: 6♠
CHECK
Bets $1500 FOLD
WIN $5700
During this hand, they talk about former jobs. Jeff and Hank were once caterers, Seth wrote "executive plays"...and Gail says she was a librarian but was fired because "Her section was always a mess." (Read into that what you will...)

Blinds are now up to $200 (SB) and $400 (BB).
Hank Amy Seth (D) Gail (SB) Jeff (BB)
A♣ 5♣ J♥ 7♣ Q♠ 5♦ Q♦ Q♣ A♦ 9♦
Raises to $1500 FOLD FOLD Raises to $2600 FOLD
Calls $1100
FLOP: J♣ Q♥ J♦
BOAT! Gail flopped a full house, a rare feat indeed! She was a 65% before the flop, but NOW the only thing that can stop her are running Aces on the Turn and River.
Bets $4000
FOLD
WIN $9600
But, like any amateur, she overplays it.



Amy Seth Gail (D) Jeff (SB) Hank (BB)
J♠ 7♠ K♠ 7♥ 8♦ 4♥ 8♦ 4♥ 8♣ 4♣
FOLD FOLD Calls $400 Calls $200 CHECK
FLOP: A♠ A♠ A♠
Bets $800 FOLD
FOLD
WIN $2000



Seth Gail Jeff (D) Hank (SB) Amy (BB)
9♦ 6♦ J♥ 3♥ K♥ 5♣ A♣ 7♦ Q♠ J♠
FOLD FOLD FOLD Raises to $1500 Calls $1100
FLOP: 5♠ 3♠ Q♣
Amy flopped top pair and a flush draw. She's a 92% fave to win the hand.
ALL-IN
$4700		 Calls $4700
There ARE times to bluff..but with nothing but Ace-Queen is NOT that time. Hank needs an Ace that's not of spades just to get ahead.
TURN: K♠
And, with Amy's flush, Hank becomes the first person in CPS history to drop out first in two straight appearances!
RIVER: 2♠
A♣K♠Q♣7♦5♠ K♠Q♠J♠5♠3♠
OUT - 5th Place WIN $12400

So a dejected Hank moans, "Yeah...first one out again" as he meats Dave in the Loser's Lounge. The GOOD news is that Project ALS gets $5000. The BAD news...is that, well, he's out first again! He thought he would do better this time...but he claims to have been SLIGHTLY worse, even though the others were playing strong. He's not 100% thrilled to spend 2 or 3 hours lounging and stewing. And Dave tells him that he IS a good player...but for some reason, he chokes when TV cameras are on him...and, sadly, only what's on television counts.


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $17,500
Gail O'Grady $15,200
Amy Poehler $13,200
Jeff Ross $4100



Gail Jeff (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
4♥ 4♦ 2♣ ?♠ Q♥ 10♣ 4♣ 3♠
Raises to $800 FOLD Calls $600 FOLD
FLOP: 7♦ 5♦ 6♣
Bets $800
Raises to $1600 FOLD
WIN $4400



Gail Jeff (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
Q♥ 5♦ A♠ 5♠ Q♠ 9♥ A♣ 7♥
FOLD FOLD Raises to $800 Calls $400
FLOP: 6♣ 9♠ 8♣
Seth has an open-ended straight draw, needing a 5 or a 10 to make it.
Bets $1500 Calls $1500
TURN: J♠
Bets $1000 FOLD
WIN $5600
Seth had a 20% chance to make the straight...but all he saw was his lack of a pair...and the possibility that Amy already HAD one...so he folded.



Seth Gail (D) Jeff (SB) Amy (BB)
A♠ A♣ A♥ 8♣ 8♥ 5♠ 7♦ 2♥
Raises to $800 Calls $800 FOLD FOLD
FLOP: 9♣ 10♣ 9♠
Bets $2000 Calls $2000
Seth's hands shake as he pushes in the chips. This is a common "tell" among new players who are excited about their hand. Of course, he has every RIGHT to be.
TURN: 7♥
Bets $4000 Raises to $8000
Calls $4000
RIVER: 4♣
COMMUNITY: 9♣ 9♠ 10♣ 7♥ 4♣
CHECK Bets $5000
ALL-IN
$4800
Gail's bet is lowered by $200...and Seth has doubled up to a BIG chip lead.
A♠ A♣ 9♣ 10♣ 9♠ 7♥ 4♣ A♥ 8♣ 9♣ 10♣ 9♠ 7♥ 4♣
WIN $31,800
Gail's excuse? "I thought I had a straight!"

Blinds are up again, this time to $300 (SB) and $600 (BB).
Jeff Amy (D) Seth (SB) Gail (BB)
A♠ 2♠ 3♣ 2♣ Q♣ 10♣ Q♦ 6♣
ALL-IN
$2900		 FOLD Calls $2600 FOLD
FLOP: 7♥ 5♠ 7♠
Jeff was a decent fave before the Flop...but, with his flush draw, he's a BIGGER fave.
TURN: 6♦
RIVER: 8♠
A♠ 8♠ 7♠ 5♠ 2♠ 7♥ 7♠ Q♣ 10♣ 8♠
WIN $6400



Gail Jeff (D) Amy (SB) Seth (BB)
Q♠ 10♦ K♣ 4♠ Q♦ 2♦ K♦ 7♥
Calls $600 FOLD FOLD CHECK
FLOP: Q♣ 3♥ 7♠
Bets $600
Calls $600
TURN: 6♦
Bets $1500
ALL-IN
$1100
Seth's bet is lowered to match Gail's all-in. With the pair of 10s, Gail's an 89% fave. Seth needs a King or a 7 to knock Gail out.
RIVER: 5♦
Q♠ Q♣ 10♦ 7♠ 6♦ 7♥ 7♠ K♦ Q♣ 6♦
WIN $4900


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $25,100
Amy Poehler $15,100
Gail O'Grady $5200
Jeff Ross $4600



Amy Seth (D) Gail (SB) Jeff (BB)
J♦ 10♥ 6♥ 6♠ K♥ 4♥ J♣ 8♥
Raises to $1200 Raises to $2400 FOLD FOLD
Calls $1200
FLOP: 5♥ 3♦ K♣
Bets $2000 FOLD
WIN $7700
Seth's playing tight now. He has a monster chip lead...and he wants to KEEP it.



Amy Seth (D) Gail (SB) Jeff (BB)
2♠ 2♥ 8♦ 7♣ Q♦ J♠ 5♣ 4♣
Raises to $1200 FOLD ALL-IN
$2500		 FOLD
Calls $1300
Amy's a VERY slight fave with her "ducks" vs. Gail's "mermaid" ("girl" on a "hook").
FLOP: Q♠ 3♣ J♣
So much for THAT. Gail flopped two pair! Only another 2 can knock Gail out.
TURN: J♦
RIVER: 10♠
2♠ 2♥ J♣ J♦ Q♠ J♠ J♣ J♦ Q♠ Q♦
WIN $5600



Jeff Amy (D) Seth (SB) Gail (BB)
K♥ 2♥ 10♥ 2♦ A♣ 6♦ J♥ 8♥
FOLD FOLD Raises to $1200 Calls $600
FLOP: 8♠ 7♣ A♥
Seth has top pair.
CHECK CHECK
TURN: 7♥
Seth now has TWO pair...BUT, Gail has a flush draw.
Bets $3000 Calls $3000
Gail is "on the come", betting into the POTENTIAL strength of a hand.
RIVER: J♣
COMMUNITY: A♥ J♣ 7♣ 7♥ 8♠
Gail didn't make the flush, but she has a pair of Jacks. Not enough, though.
Bets $1500 ALL-IN
$1400
A♣ 6♦ 8♠ 7♣ A♥ 7♥ J♣ J♥ 8♥ 8♠ 7♣ A♥ 7♥ J♣
WIN $11,200 OUT - 4th Place

No sooner does Gail sit down between Hank and Dave than Dave talks to her about the four-card straight she bet big on. "Nobody but an idiot would play that hand," she replies. Hank thinks it was a pregnancy thing (did I mention Gail's pregnant? Guess I didn't...sorry). Elephant Sanctuary gets $5000...which Dave estimates can by a breakfast for ONE elephant. Oh, and she wants a do-over!


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $30,100
Amy Poehler $16,200
Jeff Ross $3700

Blinds are now $400 (SB) and $800 (BB).

Amy (D) Seth (SB) Jeff (BB)
K♠ 10♥ A♦ 8♦ 9♥ 2♦
Raises to $1600 Raises to $4000 FOLD
Calls $2400
It's a toss-up between Amy's "woodcutter" and Seth's Ace-8.
FLOP: 9♣ 5♦ A♠
So much for THAT. Seth has Aces now
Bets $2500
Raises to $5000 Calls $2500
TURN: Q♦
Amy has a straight draw, Seth a flush draw. Amy needs a Jack that's not of diamonds to win.
ALL-IN
$9900
Here, Seth leans back in his chair, a classic sign of strength...that NOBODY seems to pick up on in these tournaments!
ALL-IN
$7200
See?
RIVER: 8♥
A♠ K♠ Q♦ 10♥ 9♣ A♦ A♠ 8♦ 8♥ Q♦
OUT - 3rd Place WIN $33,200

Amy waves to the crowd and says, "I did it for you!" (She means going all-in, which the crowd ALWAYS goads players into doing.) She joins Dave, Hank and Gail in the Lounge, where she's informed that Rosie's Place is getting $5000 thanks to her. She tried to make it exciting for the crowd, according to her, and she didn't want to play like a jerk. She also wants the place to be just "The Lounge"...and Dave replies, "If there weren't so many loseres in it..."

Anyhow, we're down to HEADS-UP action between two comedians, one in movies and one on TV. One will advance to the Final Table...and the other will try not to think about what might've been. So, while Jeff pulls his pants back up to cover his polka-dot boxers, let's SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL!


CURRENT CHIP COUNT
Seth Meyers $47,100
Jeff Ross $2900
Yes, it's a big difference...but we've seen GREATER comeback on CPS, so Jeff's not dead yet.



Jeff (D) (SB) Seth (BB)
Q♥ Q♦ 8♥ 5♥
ALL-IN
$2900		 FOLD
WIN $3700
Before betting, Jeff puts his shoe to his ear like Maxwell Smart and asks Phil what he should do. Back in the Lounge (where Jeff can neither see or here him), Phil gets on HIS shoe and tells him to go all-in...which he does.



Seth (D) (SB) Jeff (BB)
K♦ Q♥ K♣ 3♥
Calls $400 CHECK
FLOP: 4♠ 6♥ 3♣
CHECK
Bets $3000 FOLD
WIN $4600



Jeff (D) (SB) Seth (BB)
K♠ Q♦ A♣ J♥
ALL-IN
$2900		 Calls $2100
It's another coin flip between Jeff's "marriage" and Seth's "Ajax"
FLOP: 7♥ 5♥ 2♥
Seth now has a flush draw...
TURN: J♣
...and now a pair! Jeff needs a King or Queen that's not a diamond to stay alive. Otherwise,...
RIVER: 7♣
...Seth wins the tournament!
7♥ 7♣ K♠ Q♦ J♣ J♣ J♥ 7♥ 7♣ A♣
OUT - 2nd Place TOURNAMENT WINNER!

And, so, while Jeff's Meals on Wheels gets $5000 (and Jeff hops away on his crutches), it's rookie Seth Meyers who takes the currently-15-of-a-kind silver chip which gets him to the Final Table.  Jimmy Fund has a chance to win the $100,000 Grand Prize!

And the table is set! Dave Navarro, Jeff Gordon, David Cross, Steve Harris and Seth Meyers will fight it out for the lion's share of the Prize Pool, with the winner getting $100,000!