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Track 2: Tha Bronx Tour - January 15

Last week, Dasit had the flow, but not the words, and he was the first to be told to step off the stoop. $hamrock: "He's a gimmick." Let's go through the explanations he could've used...

"My dog ate my rhymes."
"Local Dominican food gave me gas."
"My glasses broke."
"I am a shook one."
"I was distracted by Misfit's boobies."
"No one tells me what to do... except my daddy."
"I am an 'artiste'."
"I couldn't stop thinking 'They're all gonna laugh at you... They're all gonna laugh at you... They're all gonna laugh at you... '"
"Needed to go home to Tivo latest 'Next Black Yodeler'."
"Two words... jock itch."
"My tie was too tight."
"I'm white. I'll get another chance.. next season."
"I hate ego trip."

John would never quit. Sullee's surprised... and aroused by Misfit, as we'll soon... hear. Because we can't show fornication on television. Or something. But she likes guys who look like Juelz Santana.

G-Child's in the phone booth right now thinking "How the hell do I get out of this thing?" Phone booth: 1. G-Child: 0.

$hamrock is what you call a starving artist.

"Yo. You've got mayo!" Here's Serch: "Time to rewind the clock and put down some tracks, because right now, class is definitely in session."

Going to the studio? Nope. We're going to the correctional facility. Nope. They're just borrowing their bus to tour the Bronx. Pay attention. There will be a test later.

- 1520 Sedgwick, the home of the founder of hip hop, DJ Kool Herc. First hip-hop artist to sign with a major label: Kurtis Blow. He explains more about the place
- Cedar Park: where we went b-boying. Fabel of the Zulu Nation educates. Jus Rhyme demonstrates. Sullee's the best at it... (Hip-Hop Rule #278: wear a belt, yo)

Last stop is the big test. A win here can change the game for one of you. Time to play a little game called... "U BETTA RECOGNIZE." Hosted by Grandmaster Caz (a founding father of Hip-hop). How much do you know about old school? Let's find out.

The nine team up in what they think are groups of three. They're actually the people they're competing AGAINST. It's Name That Tune with a hip-hop feel. Player who IDs the most artists advance.

Heat 1: John Brown vs. Jus Rhyme vs. JonBoy
Heat 2: Misfit vs. 100 Proof vs. G-Child
Heat 3: $hamrock vs. Sullee vs. Persia

Winners: Persia, John Brown & 100 Proof. They go to the final round. This time, they're looking for artist for 1 and artist & title for 2.

Winner... 100 Proof, by a score of 3-1-0. Persia, with the doughnut, gets the Lingo prize... One doughnut.

Serch awaits downstairs with a prize for 100 Proof... a Ghetto Pass. That means he has no chance of being eliminated in the next elimination.

Remember.. Ghetto Pass.. Don't leave your hood without it.

Meanwhile, G-Child honestly believes she's the next to go. She says that she doesn't want to win. "I'm here for the hip-hop. I'm here for the history. I'm the next one to be eliminated, because I'm true to the underground. I'm true to my (^_^)ing self. And the (^_^)ing hip-hop world is not ready for it." Tirade ensues, complete with the kicking of the giant teddy bear.

(The producers of this show do not condone animal cruelty.)

G-Child: 3, Stuffed Bear: 0.

Next morning...

"IT IS NOT A GAME, PEOPLE. OUT HERE NOW! Bring your right sneaker."

Time for an elimination. Which means, time for a challenge. $hamrock, Jus Rhyme, G-Child, and JonBoy... vs. Sullee, Misfit, Persia & John Brown. If you remember, Sullee and Persia had it out last week.

Caz returns for this challenge: the teams will rap as crews on one topic... Respect!

Serch and Caz demonstrate the crew style. Losing team faces elimination.

$hamrock's team... well, the guys are going at it together, while G-Child sits and writes and takes her time. John Brown and Persia have it down to a science. Sullee's willing to throw his cents in. More than what can be said for Misfit (Hip-hop Rule #73: Just looking good is not a good look, boo).

Meanwhile, we see the result of G-Child's writing... and something about tampons just sits weird.

Time's up. First up, Boston, New York, Cali, and the UK held it down. One thing though, Misfit... Profanity is not necessary. G-Child also did it for real. Group concept covered. But it was a bad PSA for a moment.

The winners... Jon Boy, G-Child, Jus Rhyme, and $hamrock.

That night, Sullee and Misfit are "quite drunk" as Misfit put it. And when white people get drunk, and this is them talking, ... stuff happens. And stuff... almost happened between Sullee and Misfit.

"You've got mayo."

"Soon there will be an elimination where you will have to prove that you can defeat your own worst enemy." The challenge is to be able to make fun of yourself. And Persia has at least four or five bars in her head. Misfit never writes bad (^_^) about herself.

Sullee never writes anything.

Back on the Stoop, Prince Paul returns from episode 1. The five survivors can come and break bread with Serch and Paul, because one of the others is about to get baked.

Remember, making fun of yourself. We're off to the Ice Chest... and we're back from the Ice Chest. Sullee's first... then Persia... stumbles... twice. Three times. Misfit's next... completely failed the task. John Brown, the king of the Burbs is last.

John Brown battled himself. He's safe. Sullee nailed it point blank. He's safe. Misfit... wrote 14 lines and spit and then slipped 2 in about her breastseses. Persia just shut down after writing some good rhymes. "This show ends where the last one left off. Persia... you're good, ma. Misfit, give me your sneakers. Time for you to STEP OFF!"

It's just a shame that Sullee never got a chance to close the deal, as Misfit's sneaks become the second pair toeing the line.

 

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