John Keats once said... "Truth is beauty. Beauty is truth."

Think about those wise words as we chronicle the story of 10 people who think that on a scale of one to awesome, they're the shit. They've got it all... chiseled arms... flawless six-packs... tanned bodies... the faces of celebrity... and in the case of the ladies... picture-perfect breasts.

But what's on the inside? That's what we're here to find out. These kids are going to be put through the wringer on a series of seemingly random tasks. But the commonality... hidden cameras designed to shoot whatever it is they are doing on the side. Because as a wiser man than I once said, "True character is what you are doing when you think no one else is watching."

If it sounds like round 4 of GSN's brilliant-but-cancelled opus "Without Prejudice?"... It is. The judges, in conjunction with the host, will assess not only on the basis of outer hotness, but on the basis of the actions that are not part of the main challenge, but part of hidden challenges. And the person with the best inner person wins $100,000 (C-Note: and if they're really as good as they say, they won't keep it) and an appearance on the next "People's Most Beautiful People" issue.

At this moment, the ten beauties are heading to a house in the Hollywood Hills for a pool party (C-Note: it looks like the same house used in season 1 of "American Idol", but I'm not sure). Let's meet them.

Laura Leigh; swimsuit model from Staten Island, NY
Billy Jeffrey; vitamin store owner and Chippendales dancer from Lewiston, ID
Monique Santiago; a college graduate and club dancer from New York City
Joel Rush; a software salesman from Tampa, FL
Julia Anderson; a pageant queen (Miss Grapevine) from Dallas; wearing fake eyelashes
CJ Miller; a coffee barista from Los Angeles
Chelsea Bush; a model and singer from Brentwood, TN
Hadiyyah-lah Sa'id; a receptionist from Minneapolis
Ashley Michaelson; a designer's assistant from Rochester, NY
Ray Seitz; an artist from San Diego

Here's a little note. Monique is a bio graduate... but she doesn't know what a bicep is. Oh dear.

And now, the fun begins as our intrepid trio sends in a waiter. He's not really a waiter, though. He's an actor. An actor with a balance problem. And not in the good way. What's the reaction to his little... "accident"? A lot of "the waiter was hating" and "oh no, my shoes!"  In fact, Laura cleans her shoes in the champagne water. Ray has helped out Joel and Monique so far, so that puts the three judges on the watch.

The ten enter the house and are immediately awestruck. Above all of their beds are a pop-art painting of themselves... which, of course, they take a shine to. Chelsea says that CJ is the only one of the house with a brain. He's actually a creative writer. He sees himself as the fat kid he once was in high school. Chelsea can relate. She says that this is what puts passion in other people's hearts.

The next day, the pretty people take forever in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Laura does no housework in her spare time, and as a result, uses half a bottle of dishwashing detergent to wash two dishes. Upstairs, Julia helps herself to the bathroom, while Chelsea and Hadiyyah-lah call her "beauty pageant fake".

First challenge of the competition... is all going to come down to science. Vanessa tells the group that there is a scientific equation that measures beauty (she got this from Wikipedia, so it's more than likely BS, but probably not). A doctor in Beverly Hills will give us insight on our beauty. The winner of this challenge will get a pass to the next round. The bottom two will meet Nole, Vanessa, and Cheryl in the Hall of Beauty, where... like any other reality show before it... one person will go home.

The beauty bus takes them to the office... and to their next hidden-camera challenge, where Chelsea gets the business from Joel for confusing "drawing me" for "drawing maid."

In comes Dr. Francis Palmer, an honest-to-God plastic surgeon and beauty expert, who will take a bunch of measurements to get a number between 1 and 100. His nurse Debbie... not really a nurse. She's a plant determined to get a rise out of our players.

In the measurement room, they'll be measured and assessed. ALSO, the other players' medical files, in a slap to the face of HIPAA, will be out in the open on display for anyone to peruse.

Julia passes our test...  As does CJ (although he does snap at Debbie and the doctor)... Laura... FAILS. Big time. Looks at everyone's tests. Hadiyyah-lah also opens up a file... Hers. Then she opens up CJ's. And Ashley's. And Chelsea's. Ray goes RIGHT for the files.

But we're also looking at the outer beauty, so here are the scores... (any score over 85 is good-looking. Any score over 95 is star quality).

Ray: 92
Monique: 91
Ashley: 94
CJ: ... who doesn't see science as a great measure of beauty. He doesn't want to hear his score. For what it's worth, he got a 94. Which doesn't change anything.
Billy: 95
Joel: 95

Billy and Joel win! They're both safe. Heh. Billy Joel.

Laura: 94
Julia: 91

With scores unrevealed, Chelsea and Hadiyyah-Lah are in danger of being eliminated. Hadiyyah-Lah is unabashedly peeved off. She says she doesn't care, but she's mouthing off a lot for someone who doesn't care. "That doctor, he needs his head examined." Hadiyyah-Lah is more aesthetically beautiful, but she looked through the files. Chelsea didn't... but she's not as cute without makeup.

They're unwillingly given one last shot at redemption. As they head to the Hall of Beauty, the stop for some coffee, courtesy of a production assistant who has to get into the building. Will the girls stop to help? Will the girls see him and walk on by? Will the girls even not care enough to notice? This... is the Final Straw.

Chelsea... helps out the coffee man. PASS.

Hadiyyah-Lah... doesn't even care to notice. FAIL.

The Hall of Beauty is truly a beautiful place. One of these two ladies will get to see the outside of it sooner than later.

Hadiyyah-Lah thinks that beauty is natural. Take the makeup off. Chelsea doesn't agree with the measurement, rather going to the nature of uniqueness. Cheryl notices a cloud around Hadiyyah-Lah. Nole wants Chelsea to have a "make-under".

Chelsea... is SAFE. Which means thank God, I don't have to type in Hadiyyah-Lah again. She's going home, but not before having to witness the sheer ugliness of her character in the house.  Lady... Defend yourself...

"That was nothing. That was not even..." Illegal? Yeah, yeah it was. And cue tirade about how they didn't see your true colors... though they did. And... PEACE, lady.

Nine beauties remain, but