This may not be "The Real World", but Chris has a confession to make. Sarge asked Chris to vote for him en route to Uncle Jeff's Stone Temple of Doom, saying that "everybody else was". But, of course, that's a lie. He voted for Sarge to stay on the women's good side since he's the part of an ever-growing minority. With six women against two men, Chris will do whatever it takes to not be voted off.

DAY 25: TRADING PLACES

Scout seems to think that the girls' alliance is breaking down, thanks to Ami & Leann siding with Julie. So the old rancher sneaks over to Chad and Chris to tell them about it. She whispers to them that Twila is the key. And, since we ALL know how wild Twila is to have Scout around, this is the best news Chris has heard yet. Chris tells Chad that they have to hang on.

REWARD CHALLENGE: LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER

We got "tree mail"!

Remember the little porker whose snout Sarge wanted to shove an apple into? Well, let's see how much he's worth since he's NOT cured and made into pork chops.

We carry him to Challange Cove where Uncle Jeff awaits...with a cute little Alinta Buff for him. This next Challenge is...well, it's SORT of a Tribal Reward Challenge since the eight tribe members will be divided into "tribes" of four. One will have his/her hands tied and must be lead through an obstacle course via a LONG rope. They'll go over, around and under obstacles (and even under the sand) and the first "tribe" to get their "sacrificial lamb" to the tam tam (that's a post for those who forgot the challenge last week) gets Reward.

And the Reward is a day and night with a local tribe on another island, including a MAJOR feast. Since it's tradition on Vanuatu to bring something as a token of appreciation, the winning "tribe" will bring the Buffed pig along (where I get the feeling it'll be the guest of honor for dinner...and I don't mean in a GOOD way).

The "tribes" are randomly selected:
Team Alinta Sorority: Scout, Twila, Leann and Julie ("lamb")
Team Alinta Co-Ed: Chad, Ami, Chris and Eliza ("lamb")

And they're OFF! The first up is the rope being around a three-teired log group and the lambs must go around each post twice...with help from the others, of course. It's almost dead even for a while...but Team Sorority gets Julie stuck when Team Co-Ed gets Eliza through almost painlessly. As Team Sorority is hung up (literally), Team Co-Ed gets to a series of hitching posts. Eliza gets her leg caught in the rope, neccesitating Chad to come to her rescue...and giving Team Sorority a chance to get Julie through and push them towards the posts.

The key to Team Co-Ed is the teamwork when it comes to give the rope a lot of slack to allow Eliza to get around the posts easily. As such, they get past the posts with barely a hitch (lousy pun, I know) and on to a log pyramid. By them time Eliza's up and over the apex, Team Sorority has woman-handled Julie through the posts and on to the pyramid as well. Julie practically sacrifices herself (fittingly) to catch up to Team Co-Ed, but it's Eliza, Chad, Ami and Chris who move on.

Here's where the "some of you will dig" part comes in. The next piece of the rope is submerged in the sand under a thick log, so the boys and girl of Team Co-Ed have to DIG to get Eliza under the log. They dig quickly...but Team Sorority catches up to them! Eliza is not sure the hole is deep enough...but Chris PULLS her by her ankle to get her through. The SECOND time, Eliza goes HEAD-first and gets yanked by her bound wrists. Julie goes through BOTH times head-first and Team Sorority head for the last obstacle right behind Team Co-Ed.

Now the TOUGH part: a vertical rope maze. The maze is tied up around a post, so they have to REALLY mack slack on it to even make heads or tails of it. Chris and Chad carry the exhausted Eliza through each loop of the maze, but the girls are catching up BIG time. With a mighty heave, Chris lifts Eliza through the final loop...and the foursome run to the tam tam for Reward!

AFTERNOON/NIGHT 25: IN THE YEAR OF THE PIG

The only thing that dampens the plane ride over is that our little piggy urinated in the cabin. Well, ELIZA complained more than anyone else, actually. We are lead to a village by native children and we hand the Buffed pig to the chief...who hands us ANOTHER pig back. Well, not sure if we could actually FRY this pig, we just leave it by the bench, hoping no one notices that we don't want it.

Then comes the mass dance of the tribe. With clapping of hands, stomping of feet and the yelling of voices, they create a spectacle that even Riverdance can't match. Eliza, Ami, Chris and Chad also join in the dance. Afterwards, they wash down their thrist with kava (the dirty water the men got to drink when they first arrived). It MUST have something in it vaguely close to alcohol...because the foursome were a bit woozy when they downed it. Chad got it worst and, having only one bony leg to stand on, has to lie down before the feast begins.

That night is the "big" feast. But it seems the natives got through all their pomp and circumstance with the dance. The "feast" consists of a half-cooked cow's head in banana leaves. ELiza is REALLY not enjoying this...but, hell, meat is meat! They are seranaded by the children during dinner and Ami and Chris has fun learning the words.

NIGHT 25: STORM OF THE CENTURY

Back at camp... things are getting UGLY! A wicked storm has kicked up and everything is getting wet. Scout says she's never been in a situation like this (which I find VERY hard to believe).

DAY 26: HIGH AND...DRY?

God said He would never let the wtaers flood the earth again (figuring we'd do it ourselves with golbal warming, I'm sure) so... the rain and wind stops during the night. This seems like the PERFECT time for Scout to enact her plan. She tells the girls that Eliza has had her fun and her shot at tribal dominance so...it's time for her to go home. Twila and Julie like the idea, but Leann... is VERY unsure about this. She doesn't SAY anything...but you can see it in her expression.

Back come the winners (with no pig in tow, thankfully) to a...well, luke-warm reception. They claim that they slept in a hut, though the sleeping arrangements were FAR from the Waldorf. At least they were dry, though, and they brought back some trail mix (the meat wouldn't hold through the night). Scout gives the whole plan to the guys as they collect wood: some besides Eliza must win Immunity and then they'll all vote her out. Chris cannot be more happy. "If you question a woman's character and ability," he says, "they'll snap your neck. But if you show them you're vulnerable, they'll start thinking with their hearts." (Why doesn't that work on the women I meet?!)

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: POST MORTEM

Uncle Jeff meets us in the rain again and Ami surrenders her Immunity Necklace. The Challenge is the traditional endurance test. The eight players will climb a ladder and grab on to the pole. When the ladders leaves, they must hang on for dear life. When either foot touched the sand, they're out. Last person hanging wins Immunity.

The players take their positions, the ladder "mysteriously" move away...and it is on. As one MAY expect, the girls start to slip first. Ami, Julie and Scout manage to find the groove on the pole, but their arms are tired. Julie and Twila slip down further...and Julie slides all the way down. As Ami starts to lose HER grip, Chris slides ALL the way down. Next goes Scout. Eliza, however, is just fine. As the rains start to threaten again, Ami slips off the poles, leaving Twila , Chad and Leann to outlast Eliza.

And then it happens: Eliza slips and falls ten feet to the ground. She's all right, but she's out and out...out of the Challenge and, most likely, out of the competition!

Chad hugs the pole, Leann struggles...and Twila grabs a rope ring with her TEETH to hang on! Leann is the next to fall, despite her struggles. Twila is higher up the pole than Chad...but she's moving around so much that she might lose her footing. Chad grips with his fingertips and thighs to the pole. Chad slips...and Twila whispers, "Go down, Chad...go..." He of the Iron Leg tries to put his foot on the final rope ring... but he can't do it. Twila wins Immunity!!

AFTERNOON 26: MEAN GIRLS

As the tribe prepares for the Council tonight (a day early to me, it seems, but the soon Eliza's gone, the better), Ami and Scout start to argue about who to dump. Scout is adamant about getting rid of Eliza...but Ami wants the girls to stick together since the guys will win most of the Immunity Challenges. She tries to convince Twila and Julie to vote for Chad instead.

Chad doesn't think Scout's been doing her job, so she talks to Little Miss Immunity about it. Twila says she's not sure herself...and she confronts Ami and the other girls about it. Leann and Julie DO want Eliza out...but they seem to be torn as to what's best for THEIR chances.

Then Twila talks with Scout, saying she's being torn between Eliza and Chad. She's CERTAIN that the other girls will vote for Chad instead...but Scout says that that's just THREE votes. Twila doesn't want it to go down to a tie-breaker stone (first and only used in Survivor: Indonesia, I believe). Twila needs to think...tore up for being the "swing vote".

TRIBAL COUNCIL: EIGHT CHARACTERS IN SEARCH OF A SITCOM

In comes Alinta...and in comes Sarge, freshly shaved and fed, to act as the first Jury member. As always, he cannot talk to anyone during the Council; he just has to sit and listen.

Leann is not good with the rain, especially with all the rain we've gotten. Chris thinks that the male stock is up and Chad says the men have weasled up around 30 plans to win. Scout says folks have come up to talk to her about the strategy...and that maybe the guys' plan is WORKING. This is news to Eliza...and it makes her nervous! Twila is never sure that she's in trouble... but Ami says that's bull$#!+ and that she knows who SHE can trust.

With Twila refusing to surrender Immunity, it is time to vote. To the booth goes Scout, Ami (who stick to the Yasur Alliance and votes for Chad), Julie, Chad ("Eliza,...with this vote, I hope my alliance stays strong"), Eliza, Ami, Chris (Eliza) and, at last, the "swing vote".

Uncle Jeff collects the votes and reads them off...

Eliza...

"Elisa"...

Chad...

Chad...

Chad...

Chad...

...and Chad! (as was the last vote)

Chris is SWEATING like a Vanuatu pig right about now. His plan didn't work...Scout betrayed him...and Chad and his iron leg has been eliminated. Truly, though Chad has been kicked out, it's CHRIS that's the one that doesn't have a leg to stand on (and neither does my threat to Chico back at week 1...yes, I'll have the order of crow, please...and no drink since I just wanna choke on it).