"Hog Wild": Days 13-15" - October 21

DAY 13: WOMAN'S GOT SOUL

OK, it's NICE to have women around Camp Lopevi... but "Sarge" Lea INSISTS that we don't really NEED them. He IS starting to have odd dreams, though... though he won't say what. Chris KNOWS that someone like Julie can use her looks to her advantage. Julie is passive-aggressive and WILL use it to her advantage. Then everybody talks about who they think got ditched last night over at Yasur. Many think Bubba is safe and Scout had the bulls-eye on her. The ladies then take a long walk and have a long talk about them being the "underdogs", with Twila hoping the men aren't "blowing smoke up her ass".

REWARD CHALLENGE: DIRTY WHITE MEAT

Our Tree-Mail is a wooden pig in a small wooden cage. The message:

To Challenge Cove we go... where we're SHOCKED to find Bubba gone from Yasur. Uncle Jeff informs us that pig are valuable in Vanuatu... just as they are valuable to US today. The challenge is dirt simple (literally): there are ten pigs of our color in a mud-strewn pen and our job is, simply, to pen all ten. Five tribe members will catch two pigs each while a sixth will be the gate keeper. The first tribe to pen all ten wins reward.

And WHAT a reward! It's a half-dozen steaks, a half-dozen eggs, a skillet to fry them in and all the ingredients needed for a Vanuatu barbecue on the beach! Julie and Scout are designated as gatekeepers as we head for the pen.

First ones out of the chute are Rory and Johnny who grab pigs rather quickly. Johnny goes back out to get his second pig while Rory tags in Ami. As Johnny comes marching home with his second pig, Ami is grossing out at hugging one to her bosom. Out goes Lisa and Chris to get more pork. Chris has little problem get his pig while Lisa struggles with one rather heavy one. Chris TACKLES another side of bacon on legs and gets it back just as Lisa gets Yasur's third piggy back.

Eliza and Chad jog after the hogs... and BOTH have trouble at first. Eliza can't seem to get her hands on one... but the Man With the Iron Leg manages to nab one and put our tribe up 5-3. Eliza's bikini is getting grungier by the second as Chad tackles another pig to make it 6-3. Eliza finally gives up and passes it off to Leann... but Eliza will STILL have to go out there and get two pigs in order for Yasur to win. Twila tags in for our tribe, full-coverage swimsuit and all. But it's Leann who grabs one first... and does a little "peek-a-boob" action as she hauls the porker into the poke. Twila corners the market AND the hog to make it 7-4, Lopevi. As she goes for her second pig, Rory is tagged in. He lunges for a pig...but his hands and the pig itself is so slippery (greased pig?) that he can't hang on. Twila, however, grabs a pork belly and makes it 8-4. (I'm running out of pig puns here!)

Finally, our trust anchor leg, Sarge, charges out to grab our last two pigs. He does a "here, pigpigpig" call that NEVER works...and it doesn't THIS time, either. Sarge and Rory each grab a pig and scores, making it 9-5. Sarge is joined by Ami... but the pigs are so muddy that it's hard to hang on. Sarge, however, finds a way... and Lopevi will be living "high on the hog" tonight!

AFTERNOON 13: "BARBIE" GIRLS (AND BOYS)

"We kicked their ass," is what Twila has to say. As the tribe cleans up for dinner, she is whooping and hollering, happy as a pig in slop (OK, OK, last pig pun). Lea and Chad then get to cooking those steaks and scramble those eggs. "Sarge" is in hog he...he's enjoying it IMMENSELY as he chomps down on the seasoned meat and shoots the... BULL with everyone. They are upset about Bubba being sent out, especially since the only "muscle" they have left on their tribe is Rory. What in Bora Bora were they THINKING?!

DAY 14 - DAY TRIPPER

More like "Day Skipper". Apparently, nothing of consequence happened so let's move on to...

DAY 15: OH, PRETTY WOMAN!

Chad watches as Julie climbs out of the water like Ursula Andress in "Dr. No" (or Halle Berry in "Die Another Day")... and is REALLY glad the tribe went "co-ed". Julie claims she can "flirt all day long"... and PROVES it by stripping and tanning her ass. Sarge and Twila take SMALL peeks while Julie starts to wonder if Twila is mixing it up with the "old men" of the tribe. In Twila, Sarge seems to have found his equal... in a friendly way, anyway. In fact, Sarge promises Twila that she'll make it to the merge no matter what. Of course, Twila believes this... NOT!

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: PICK UP THE PIECES

Challenge Cove greets us again as we hand the Immunity Spear back to Uncle Jeff and he explains the Challenge, promising it'll wear us out. Four tribe members each will drag two pieces to a Tiki puzzle along a rope through a watery obstacle course to the beach. The rope goes around an outrigger canoe, over a bamboo wall on a platform, under the water, around three hitching posts and a truss. Once the pieces are surfaced and on the beach, the next tribe member can take THEIR two pieces along the rope. Once all eight pieces are beached, the two who AREN'T wet will assemble the Tiki. First tribe to have a good Tiki wins Immunity from the Tribal Council tonight. We decide to let Chad and Twila assemble the puzzle while the rest of us drown ourselves. Yasur picks Lisa and Scout as their puzzle-solvers.

The first two in the water are Chris and Ami... and they're neck and neck around the canoe and over the wall, but Chris gets to the hitching posts first. Ami catches up AFTER the post since they're BOTH worn out with the truss to go. Thankfully, the truss is in standing-height water so Chris is able to breathe whenever he wishes... which he does a lot. He gets through the truss first and puts the pieces in the trough, signaling Sarge's turn. Ami isn't TOO far behind, but it might be too much already. Rory is next for Yasur and he gets around the canoe while Sarge climbs the wall. As Rory gets to the wall, Sarge is at the posts. And THIS is where he struggles, catching his breath and giving Rory a chance to catch up. In fact, as Sarge catches his breath on the second post, Rory outs HIS pieces through TWO posts in one breath. They're neck-and-neck again as they approach the truss. Sarge is exhausted but mere SECONDS behind Rory as they get to the beach with their pieces.

Next up are Julie and Leann and, like their first predecessors, they're tied getting to the wall. Julie gets over the wall first and makes her way to the posts... while Leann is UNABLE to hold her breath long enough to get it around the first post! This puts Lopevi in a MONSTER lead with Julie getitng our pieces through the posts and truss and to the beach while Leann tries to catch her breath. Johnny dives in with our final two pieces as Yasur all but BEGS Leann to suck it in (literally) and get moving! Johnny "laps" Leann and has NO problem getting to the beach before Leann can even make it to the truss.

Now it's up to Twila and Chad to fit the pieces together. Fortunately, we have PLENTY of time as Leann has all but given up. It takes a little time, but the Tiki is assembled and Lopevi wins its FOURTH Challenge in a row and gets to stay home tonight! Uncle Jeff, however, says that our tribe is "safe at least one more day". Only ONE? That does NOT sound good.

TRIBAL COUNCIL: LISA, LISTEN TO ME

After a verbal cat fight among the ladies of Yasur, they and Rory march to Uncle Jeff's Stone Temple of Doom and vote out Lisa.