But first, let's talk update. Rob and Amber have been on three different covers, appeared on Leno, Letterman, Howard Stern, Regis & Kelly, etc... This is not normal! They're pulling red-eyes all over the place since Sunday! Weirdest moment: Being on Leno, Letterman, Howard Stern, Regis & Kelly, etc... And yes, they want to put the wedding on TV... "if the price is right." Big hint, Rob. Lucky for you two Jeff is an ordained minister. We could do this right now if we wanted to.

Also back with us, Jerri... Proving that yes, she's an attention hog. "I felt that this season I opened myself up and to get booed, it was horrifying!" She feels like she made her point just fine by leaving, but by coming back, she's shown that there's healing going on. TV Guide reported that Jeff was the target of Jerri's anger. Turns out that she just didn't like the response of her charm. "I felt that with the audience there, none of us got a chance to express what we were feeling without being judged again. This show wouldn't be Survivor without us participating, and that's our night!" True. But it wouldn't be a show without the audience. Hatch's take: "I just don't mind. I'm happy they feel whatever they feel about me." He knew that the audience's scrutiny rules over all going in. Robarino agrees. "Nobody knew who you are, and now they do, and it doesn't mean you're that person. It's a good thing, Survivor." Lex sides with love for family. Good for him. "You'll get to know us in 30 seconds than you would in 13 weeks on the tube."

One great thing about this show: you air it all. Jeff's preface to this godly duty as producer. "The only reason you were here and are here tonight is because of your contractual fulfillments to CBS. Your obligations are fulfilled. If there's anybody who does not want to be here, we don't want you to be here. And if you're the million dollar winner, we'll send you the check. Otherwise, I don't want to hear about it." All 18 stay put? Good. Let's get to the first final four winner. A dominator who played the game the way he lived his life... COLBY. Cue his montage, including his physical challenges and his Texas cry. Ethics got the better of him, but Colby is hopeful that that works for him. "Neat thing about this million: You don't have to suffer through six weeks to get this one!"

Aside from voting for your favorite Survivor, you also voted for your favorite Survivor moments - first up, Survivor fights: Alicia vs. Kimmi, Ted vs. Ghandia, Robb Z. vs. Clay, Rupert vs. Jonny Fairplay, and Boston Rob vs. Lex. Best fight ever: Rupert vs. Jon. Quick update, Lex squashed his beef. Big Tom also squashed his.

Greatest Survivor moment contender: Sue's Rat vs. Snake Speech.

This next segment is for the ladies. Sexiest Survivor guys: Ethan, Boston Rob, Hunter Ellis, Greg Buis, Gervase, Burton Roberts, Robb Zbacnik, Andrew Savage, Alex Bell, and Big Tex Colby... America's choice: Colby. Gee, that was a shocker. It's a radical change from three years ago, really. He signed up being a true fan of the game. Whatever's next is icing on the cake.

But Colby's going to have some competition in a bit. Next Final Four member coming. Dramatic. Dancing. Drunk. Hard to understand. Of course, BIG TOM. Cue the dancing/ranting/drinking montage. He touched. Awwww. He thanks his wife for sending in the app.

Greatest Survivor moment contenders: Michael Skupin falls in the fire and Heidi Strobel and Jenna Morasca take it all off for peanut butter. She has no qualms about dropping trou. After all, it got her the million in the Amazon. And speaking of which, it's time for hottest hotties. Nominees: Heidi, Jenna, Colleen Haskell, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Jerri, Cleopatra Sarah Jones, Alicia, Erin Collins, Darrah from the Pearl Islands, and Amber. Winner: Amber. And she's all Rob's. Oh dear, another awwwwwbarf moment. Let's get to final four reveal #3: a natural in the outdoors, an alligator for a pet, and a teased kid on school... it's RUPERT! All together now... ARRRRRRRR! Roll "Blackbeard" tape! Of course, Rupert's thrilled. "Never give up. Never surrender. You do what you say, you say what you do."

One spot left, and we'll find out who fills it, after we see another great Survivor moment: Jonny Fairplay's Not-Really-Dead Grandmother. Next, up for best Survivor villain: Richard Hatch, Jerri, Brian Heidik from Thailand, Robarino, and Jon "Jonny Fairplay" Dalton. Of course, the winner, the Sammy Hagar lookalike, Jonny Fairplay in the house. Front row, son. "I thought this was the casting for All-Star 2. I'm a pro wrestler now." Okay, one final four slot left. It goes to one of the most competitive ever, giving the phrase "I give you my word" new meaning. And though he didn't get the money, he got the girl. it's BOSTON ROB. His claim: Forget popular, I earned it. "I don't think anyone will argue that I played the game the hardest." We get to see him call Amber's ass "smokin'" again.

From 18 to four. Now to one. But first, we have three items of business.

1) eBay swag to benefit the Elisabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Go to ebay.com/survivor.

2) We've got another season in the works. Cannibals, volcanoes, nature's fury, tropical splendor, bungee jumpers... the Survivors should be right at home in Vanuatu, where 16 Americans will outwit, outplay, and outlast for a ninth time, all the while taking on the Ring of Fire.

3) The greatest Survivor moment EVER: Rupert steals from Morgan on day one in Panama.

Okay, we've got a check to give away. Four men, one check. Jeff's going to be straight up. Ooh, Jeff's standing.

"According to America... Thirty-eight million votes say the favorite Survivor All-Star is... RUPERT!"

At this point, my entire family gave the Rupert yell as Jeff was signing his check. Very deserved, I must say. But somehow, Jeff doesn't look that convincing giving his own yell. Anyway, Rupert Boneham is our All-Star from "America's Tribal Council." And that's the game. I've said it before... Best... Survivor... EVER.

Big thanks to you for following us through all eight seasons. Big thanks to my cohorts in crime Gordon and Chris. Any permutation of us three will see you in the fall for "Survivor Vanuatu: Islands of Fire"!