"Would You Buy Me a
Cheesesteak?" - June 2
At the start of the first
episode, Billy is looking for 15 people to bring to
L.A. At the end of the first episode, we have...3.
They only have 1 more week to select 12 more people,
because if they don't then the series will be over. I
personally, am rooting for the end of the series, but
being that it's slated for at least 10 episodes, I
don't think that's going to happen.
We start this episode at the Blueberry Hill in St.
Louis as Billy explains to the auditioners what he's
looking for. The guys are looking to impress Billy, as
we see a montage of...'nothing', according to Billy.
Rachel is confused. 'I've seen guys that I think are
alright, but you are saying no to.' Billy says that
they have to see a special something, but Rachel is
getting fed up and suggesting that she isn't being
helpful. Please don't leave Rachel - because if you
leave, then I have to deal with no one but Billy for
the rest of the
Billy is still frustrated as we get to Nashville. We
see another montage of guys stripping - and once
again, an unimpressed Billy. 'A lot of the guys that
were turning up there probably didn't realize the
audition that they were turning up for. A lot of them
were bad. Really Bad.'
Billy did like two of them, though, and called them
both back to his bus. The first one is Adam, who says
that he is a high school jock and is flexible. Billy
still wants to cut him, and Rachel just turns to him
and says 'What are you, nuts?' Rachel argues that the
kid is the definition of wholesome and Billy just
blankly smiles at her. Rachel is mystified at him.
'What is Billy thinking?'
Josh, a 21 year old college student, is the second
person that Billy calls into the room. He says that he
respects the ladies and he tries to be a good Southern
gentleman, adding that his mom will whup him if he
doesn't. Billy thinks that he is skinny, but he loves
everything else about him. Josh - 'Give me a chance,
and I'll grow a butt. Butts can be grown'. That's good
for Billy, and Josh is California invitee #4. Billy
liked Josh over Adam because Adam has more
personality, but he says that 'more than likely' will
get a call-back as well. We'll see...
We move on to Day 10 as the bus drives to Chicago.
Billy hasn't shaved and his hair is looking more
scraggly. Rachel notices that is mohawk is turning
into a faux-hawk as they see twins Terry and Tony.
Tony is a bartender and a weight instructor while
Terry, who thinks that he is the better looking one,
gets sick when everyone says that Tony looks better.
Add Billy to another person who is going to annoy
Terry, because he is completely enamored with Tony. We
see Tony dance and he is the real deal. We see Terry
dance and Billy thinks he's good, but...not as good as
Tony, and he wants to take Tony and not Terry. Huh?
Rachel says that Tony is more camera-friendly, but
Terry is sexier and Rachel wants to take both of them.
Billy asks if Tony likes him. WHA??!
Rachel, who insists that Billy is heterosexual, is
still wondering about this, but he gives int o Rachel
and invites both of them to L.A., adding that they
both have the best personality of anyone that he's
seen. It's always better to have a twin rivalry, if
you ask me.
Day 11 - Next up is Louisville, Kentucky, the home of
the Kentucky Derby, and Billy is looking for some
studs. He's hoping that Brian, who has a Southern
Baptist mom, will lap the field. They want to get his
mom's approval first, and they get it from the
conservative woman. They ambush Brian, and he is
thrilled and excited to see them. He talks about how
he loves to strip for the ladies. He has a great body,
according to Billy, but the face is aggressive and the
dancing...blah. Billy doesn't like his face and this
time, he does convince Rachel. Rachel thinks he's
going in to say maybe, but he says no and everyone is
stunned. Billy, who didn't realize the negative
attitude he was going to get from everyone, quickly
gets out of the house and leaves his beatbox and
jacket inside. Rachel has to get it for him and
apologize for his behavior - and then gives him
what-for for telling him no instead of maybe.
Continuing Day 11, the group moves to Highland Heights
to check out some more prospects. Steve is a 19 year
old credit services representative. He was a
cheerleader in high school and can do a backwards
flip. Billy hates the fact that he is a young 19, but
they decide to check him out. They decide to disguise
themselves as camera people to interview them all.
While Billy is watching from the background, he's
wondering if he had any respect for women. Steve says
that a woman would be lucky to get a gift from him and
Billy isn't happy with the answer - to the point that
he's thinking about leaving without even giving him an
Steve continues to talk when Rachel tells him to turn
around. He sees Billy and gets excited - but less so
when he's told to dance. After he stalls out the first
time, Billy says that he better perform or they are
Rachel adding that his football team is going to lose
unless he starts to dance. Steve responds by doing
high school moves and breakdancing on the lawn
shirtless. Billy thinks that the girls are going to
love him and despite his skinny frame, Billy (probably
out of desperation because he has an alarming lack of
contestants right now) invites him to L.A.
Could the next 19 year old do as well as steve did?
This one is named Rodrique, who is a corner store
stocker in Cincinnati. He has a 3.8 GPA but people
think he's a thug because of the way that he looks.
When Billy and the crew ambush him at his store,
Rodrique looks terrified because he thinks he's going
to get mugged, so being asked to do a strip tease
dance in front of his co-workers looks like a relief
to him. Rodrique does a strip tease as he lowers his
clothes - without taking them off. Rachel loves him -
until he opens his mouth and says that he wants to be
on television and almost forgets all about the reason
why Billy and Rachel are here - to find people for a
strip revue. It seems like Rodrique cares more
importantly to see his mug on the camera than to be
traveling in a group, and that's a major no-no. Billy
says that he's going to be on TV anyways, but he can
tell that he wants to be more on camera than to be on
a show so Billy says no. 'I'm an ass', says Billy on
the way out of the stores, 'but I had to be an ass.'
But it's still all good for Rodrique, because he's on
TV! Look at Rodrique! Whoo!
Day 12 - The team travels northward to Independence,
Ohio to see Ryan, a 28 year old Mortgage Broker.
Rachel suggests that she has a bus breakdown to see if
Ryan was really a nice guy. They hide Billy under the
trunk with his boom box and they disconnect the car to
make sure that it doesn't start. When Bryan comes out,
Rachel asks him for Jumper Cables. Ryan knows nothing
about jumper cables, so he goes to ask his friend. He
even gives Rachel his coat. AwwwwBarf. Rachel decides
that he passes and tells him that he has jumper cables
in the back. Instead of cables, though, they find
Billy and his boom box. Ryan passes the niceness test,
and when it's time to dance...he passes that too.
Billy gives him the L.A. pass.
Day 13 - The crew stops off at the city of Brotherly
Love - Philadelphia - to see Shawn, who dances at a
club. Rachel starts by saying that he's yummy...but
when she finds out that he's cheated many times on his
girlfriend, she calls him a jerk. Way to stay
unbiased, Rachel. After dressing Billy up in a
ridiculous passerby outfit, Rachel decides to test
Shawn and attempts to get him to buy her a cheesesteak.
Shawn declines and is led in the direction of Billy,
who introduces himself. Shawn already seems perturbed,
and doesn't show much as he dances. Billy says that if
Shawn can overcome his ego, he could be a star, but
Rachel says that he's too into himself. Billy decides
that the physique is too good to pass up and invited
him to L.A., much to the consternation of Rachel.
Shawn promises that he will work hard, but only time
will tell and Rachel now sees that Billy is much more
concerned with physique than what's inside the person.
She says that she has lost a lot of respect for Billy.
I didn't have much respect to begin with. Rachel -
'Would you buy me a cheesesteak?' Billy - 'With what
you are wearing tonight? No.'
Rick, a 21 year old in PA, had a promising baseball
career, but gave it all up to help his dad's business.
Because his dad was injured on the job, Rick has some
free time that he can use to travel. They get Rick's
cousin to help them ambush Rick during his band's
practice. They get a 'Holy Sh!t' from Rick as Billy
shows up. Billy and Rachel have an opening seat as he
sings and Billy was impressed at how confident he was
when he performed in front of him vocally. Billy likes
his singing (My thoughts? Blech) but now it's time to
perform by shredding his clothes. Billy says that he
needs to lose weight and shred those abs, but he also
gets the invite and Rick gives a 'Yeah' and a 'Whoo-hoo'
in approval. Rachel calls him her favorite. 'This man
would have bought me a cheesesteak'
Day 14 - the last day of the tour and they go to NJ to
meet Marco, a 25 year old who dances in a male revue
to earn his keep. You would think that as a dancer, he
would know what he's doing, and he knows the moves,
but Billy wonders if his experience makes him sleazy.
Marco says that he won't hit anyone in the face with
it and adds that he wants to make it a performance
instead of sleaze. Billy buys it and Marco gets the
The ambushes are over, and the selections are over. We
have 11 'Yes' and it's time to go through the maybes.
The maybes who get the pass are Johnny, David, Adam,
and....Billy takes out someone from the 'No' pile to
suggest to Rachel. In attempt to make up with her and
to maybe get some respect back, the 'No' person
is...Brian. He calls up Brian to eat some crow and
explains that he didn't think that he gave him a fair
chance. He invites Brian down to audition and Brian
screams 'Hell Yeah' in approval. With that, we have
the 15. In 25 days, those 15 will be trimmed to 7 and
those 7 people will be performing in Vegas.
My take? I'm hoping that what I like about the show
will not be tempered by my intense dislike towards
Billy Cross, who shows us all that personality doesn't
mean as much as muscles. I also wonder about that base
of people - If you have to go back into the no pile to
get people, it's not looking too good. We'll see if
the show can turn it around, but it's not a good
Next time - we see our final 15, and in 60 minutes
watch it turn in to the final 14. Join us in 7 days to
see who is the first to get cut.