"Week Nine": September 4-7

We're back - unfortunately, we still have to hear from Brooke, Dave and INXS, but fortunately, we're down to 5. According to Brooke, the final 5 reached a new level of superstardom. According to me, Brooke has reached a new level of delusionalism.

We get a recap of the photo shoot, the cake fight, the drunk 5, the musical competition and performance night. We talk about how Jordis didn't do well on the photo shoot and how she didn't do well on performance night. INXS also goes after Mig. Is there anyone who doesn't think that Jordis is leaving tonight?

Dave, who says it was a hell of a week, asks Jordis about the shoot, and reminded her that whoever wins is going to have to take a bunch of pictures. Jordis admits that it was her first time, and she'll figure it out through experience. Dave says that he'd be riveted if he saw a picture of her on a lawn mower.

We get a pic of Suzie - and she's hot. She thought it was weird when she couldn't recognize herself, but she likes her transformation. Dave also loved her transformation on a music level.

David says that JD looked great on the shoot - BUT - what happened on the birthday party? JD says that they all work very hard, and that the cake party was a good way to unwind. David wondered why he didn't get invited when Suzie was drinking off of JD's toes, adding that he would have loved to have been there. Heh.

There'll be a party of a different kind when it comes to the encore. Brooke asks which of the two people got the encore. Both JD and Marty raised their hands - and Brooke says that it was between both of them, but the person who won the encore is...JD! He celebrates, but before he decides who picks the opener, Dave asks JD if he could select the opener instead. JD, who isn't a complete moron, says yes. Dave says that based on what's going on in the world today, they should sing a new song that INXS happened to put up together called 'Us'. Of course JD says yes.

At this point, INXS butts in and tells all 5 singers to come up there and perform. They all agree. INXS themselves then add that they are going to perform with the singers and the crowd goes nuts. INXS also calls Dave Navarro up to play along as well and we have a good old fashioned love-dest. AwwwBleagh.

Let's stop the tape here for a second. We all knew that INXS was going to perform this song, Katrina, or no Katrina. The right way to do this was to say that they were going to perform this song anyways, but they would dedicate it to the victims of Katrina and maybe dedicate some money to their cause. That didn't happen. Instead, they just happened to decide to sing this song just for the moment? I'm not buying what they are selling, and quite frankly, that cheesy attitude is one of the reasons why Rock Star is turning into it's own disaster.

So how was the song? It would have been better if JD knew the lyrics and we didn't have a clip edit. The song sounds pretty good, and there was a lot of JD singing with Suzie. Is this a little musical foreshadowing?

We're up to the encore - and it's JD singing Pretty Vegas. There's not really much of a melody line, and you can't understand him half the time, but then again, he carried the song well - much better than the 'Us' tune.

Brooke wants you to buy the Rock Star CD, available on September 26. Gack.

After the show on Tuesday, Marty gets a play interview from JD based on the comments from INXS that his song could be ready for a single. Suzie wasn't happy about her performance - or INXS's critique, while MIG sees how his nervousness could affect his performances, adding that he didn't enjoy himself up there. Jordis was nervous because she saw what JD did and then got nervous. She confides in Mig that she was so good earlier, and then she is tripping up. Mig pinpoints exactly what's wrong - 'It's hard to be in the middle when you're used to be on top.' Jordis then wonders if she's the right person on the job - and this is on the tape that INXS is seeing. Bye-bye, Jordis.

Dave calls her on that last comment. She says that the was losing her way, and should she come back, she will go back to what she did at the start. JD says that the time for game playing was over, and now it's time to have fun, because the fun is being a member of INXS. Mig says that he wanted to sing a nice ballad - but he realized that going right after JD, that choice of song was not a good idea.

Brooke asks the rockers this time to raise their hand if they are in the bottom three. Suzie and Mig's hands go up immediately..and then Jordis's does as well after a stare from Suzie. With that. Brooke is going to tell them the early results (which we knew from last night) and the order, from top to bottom, was Marty, Suzie, JD, Mig and Jordis. But did those results stay the same? We won't find out, but we will find out who the bottom three are.

The first person is...Jordis gets "Need You Tonight", as INXS tells her to do her best with their best. Based on her performance, it doesn't really matter who bottom person number 2 or 3 are. At one point, she forget the words. At another point, she forgets to come in on time. At two more points, she sings the wrong words. Jordis says that the song was the most fun that she had...since the beginning of the show. Heh. She says that she hopes that she is the person the band wants, but INXS would be crazy to keep Jordis, who is a shell of her former self. This wouldn't be an eviction as much as it would be a mercy-killing.

The second singer in the bottom two is...Suzie?!? Wha? Apparently, the Canadians voting for JD have flooded the phone lines. She sings 'Never Tear Us Apart' and invites the crowd to sing with her. She then takes it one step further and goes into the crowd to sing. She goes over to the guitar player who is in the middle of a solo and has a musical orgasm, trembling on the floor. Suzie tries to get out that she could definitely lead the bnd. Suzie has really come into her own and she isn't going to be eliminated tonight.

The last singer to be performing tonight (though not really in danger) is...Marty??!! No it's not, as Brooke swerves us and tells him to take a seat, because he's safe. You don't think that the person who got the encore is the same person in the bottom three, do you? The last person to be safe is...Mig??!!?!? Mig is stunned. Marty is stunned. JD is unhappy, and apparently, it was the Australians flooding the phone lines instead of the Canadians. Kirk says that it was mystifying that he is standing in front of them, as he got the encore, which will be 'Mystify'.

JD sings Mystify, and he does a very good job of it (Bye, Jordis). He nails the lyrics and notes, and he is much smoother than Jordis - or even himself a few months ago. INXS asks JD where we would take the band. JD replies that he would take the band into his heart, and give them everything that the band has given him for the past 25 years. AwwwBarf.

Herein lies the problem for JD, and INXS. JD is an excellent singer, shown as the audience voted for him to get the encore. However, he is also the 'game-player' or 'villain' in the season, and the voters don't want that in their lead singer, as made evident based on their voting. JD is the biggest polarizing force on INXS, and hence, the question is - do they really want that much of a polarizing force leading the band?

Time for the deliberations. Gary says that the work is going to get tougher - and the real work start when you get the job as the lead singer. Gary cuts it to the quick and tells Jordis that she didn't bring it tonight and eliminates her, but also says that she's going to be a huge star and he will be one of the first people to buy her record. Dave tells Jordis that she's going to be a legitimate star and adds that one day that they are going to make music together. AwwwBarf.

Jordis thanks them for keeping her here this long, adding that it's the most rewarding thing that she has ever done. She says that she is going to miss everyone, and she will see them all in 2 weeks.

Next week - we see the people get cut from 4 to 3. Join us in 7 days to see if Suzie, the last woman standing, can survive against three guys that she is overly matched up against.