Dawn admits that the pearl from the last elimination kept him in the game. She likes JJ's game, because it comes from the heart. Acie is the direct opposite. His game comes from his mind. This may be harder than Dawn knows. "It's like comparing an apple to a banana. They're both deserving the title of fruit." What, you're saying that they're gay?

Playerphone rings... no, not yet, folks.

Play-Op: Acie and JJ, congratulations on being the final two players. Tonight, you are in for a treat. You'll be going to a last dinner with Dawn's girlfriends. Don't forget, Jinelle and Ananda have a lot of power in this game. Then, each of you will have one final date with Dawn before she chooses her ultimate player and I reveal how this game ends. Good luck, gentlemen, and may the best player win.

So we're off to dinner with the Power Players. Acie is looking forward to outshining JJ again. JJ's biggest competition is with himself. The Play-Op pretty much summed up how this is going to go down. The players meet at Tantra. Acie tells Jinelle that Dawn and he got a lot in common, while Ananda and JJ sense a politic play. JJ tells the girls that the only time he felt her was during the Scottsdale date. JJ gave her personal gifts that he wouldn't give anyone else. But will they work in the end?

Acie hopes not, calling the move false. "You need to stop acting like you're real, because you're not."

Then Ananda puts Acie in his place by asking him if it was a tactic to get close to her to get to Dawn. We all know the answer is "hell yeah, it was a tactic", but let's see what Acie says. "Not saying that that wasn't sincere, but I had to do what I had to do to stay in this game." Yeah, that's about right. "I'll just let you hang yourself with your own rope," Ananda says. Because of the sixteen people in this game, she's the smartest.

Dawn gets a briefing. Acie has feelings, but JJ gets caught up easy. JJ is the most sincere, yet Acie knows how to be a politician, but is too real to run game. Again, Dawn says that they are too different to notice. "I think Ananda's been the Ultimate Player in this game."

So Dawn gets the dinner straight from the horses' mouths. JJ was feeling "very somber". It looks like he might've given up, and it looks like Dawn has to keep her eye on Acie.

It's the final morning, as Ananda tells JJ to go talk to Dawn (someone's playing favorites). Acie tells him that she's doing it out of jealousy. JJ tells Dawn that he was put on the spot last night and that he's ready to have fun tonight.

But first, it's a yacht date with Acie. They drown themselves in their many connections, right down to a same ambition deal. She calls it "a sexy thing." Acie really likes her, so much that she is invited to give Ananda a reeducation. Dawn is impressed.

At the mansion, Ananda admits that JJ's her favorite. Probably out of spite for Acie. Jinelle tells that JJ needs to step it up. That night, Acie calls her sabotage out, calling her a liar.

JJ brings up a sandwich before he gets ready for his final date: horseback riding on the beach. Very video-esque. Dawn seems to have more bareback experience than JJ has, and it shows, as he summons the picnic to move "this way". "This horse is like ping-on ting-on ping-pong." JJ, for the last time.. START MAKING (^_^)ING SENSE!

Will he ever make it to dinner? We'll find out in a moment. Right now, Ananda and Jinelle think that Acie thinks that he's already won over "the clucker".

Meanwhile, the clucker and his chicken finally make it to the picnic. They sat, they chilled, they ate nachos, they embraced the breeze. It's then that JJ discovered that with the cooking and the having fun and the foot rubs, today, he is a man.

Final scout's report: Acie is the real deal, but a mentally real deal. JJ is also the real deal, albeit masking it behind childlike innocence first. Ananda is the "I forgive, but I don't forget" kind of woman, and the smartest in the series. Jinelle is a pair of breasts that's just there. And Dawn is a little princess oblivious to the world around her.

The theme song plays as the Playerphone rings one more time...

Play-Op: Your days at the Player Mansion are over. Be poolside in 30 minutes. You'll be joined by Jinelle, Ananda, and, of course, Dawn, who will choose the last gentleman to eliminate. Get ready. It's time to see which one of you will be named her ultimate player and how this game will end. Good luck, gentlemen.

Thirty minutes later, Acie delivers his outgoing speech as the mayor of Cluckerville, "If it's meant to be, then I'll be the one tonight."

Welcome to the final elimination. The last seven weeks was about game and game only, apparently, as Dawn gives them what for. "At this point, I'm really leaving it up to you."

So it comes down to famous last words. JJ thought he was a player, but now he's a man. Everything he did was from the heart. Acie was real from the start. Dawn pretty much spits everything back at the two. But in the end, it came down to "Don't sleep". And JJ was sleeping. Acie, directly the opposite, straying at the beginning, and homing at the end. And he was sleeping too, thinking that the game was his to lose.

And in the end, it still is. "Tonight, the player I have to eliminate is going to have to be JJ." JJ shares hugs with all three girls before he ends his game at the front door. He put himself out there, and in the end, it'll be a long time before he does it again.

But tonight, it's all about Acie, as he is presented with his prize for being the Ultimate Player... the tackiest piece of bling I've ever seen. And just when you think it's over... the Playerphone rings again.

Play-Op: Congratulations. Dawn has chosen you as her Ultimate Player. You must be very proud of yourself. But although Dawn has awarded you that title, the game is not over. Up until now, Dawn was given the power to decide the outcome of this game. Now it's your turn to make the most difficult decision of the game. It's time to decide which is more important to you, Dawn or the player lifestyle. A lot has gone on in these past few weeks, and feelings have undoubtedly come into play, so here's a question that you must answer: Did you actually make a connection with Dawn, and are you willing to give up your player ways to take a chance on a future together? Or have you been playing my girl Dawn and leading her on just to win this competition? Acie, I'll give you only one minute to make up your mind. Meet Dawn in front of the crib and tell her how you feel about her. Your decision will determine the outcome of this game. I'm out.

So now it's all on Acie. Whereas Dawn had two months, Acie now only has 60 seconds. "This is unreal!" Yep.

Dawn and Acie meet in front of the Player Mansion. Dawn pleads her case as being just like Acie. Acie said that he came to set goals and feels that he's done so. But he would be lying to her and himself if he told her any different.

He decides to keep his lifestyle the way it is right now. And as lame as the entire series has turned out to be, you can't help but think that there is still some order to the world after that. "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Game... not over yet, as a tricked-out Cadillac Escalade approaches the mansion, and as its driver... The Player Operator.

AKA "Boston Rob" Mariano.

Double.

You.

Tea.

Eff.

Mate.

Play-Op: Let's cut to the chase. This Cadillac Escalade is the grand prize. Blinged out, it's the truest representation of the player lifestyle there is. To turn down a woman like Dawn takes some real player skills, and for that, my man, this ride is all yours.

Gee, you can sense the whole... falseness of his delivery. And yet it is true. Final report: Hate the Player. Hate the game. Hate the twist. Like the car.

Game over, players. And if anyone presses reset, I'm going to reset my lunch.