the himbos did such a fabulous job creating the dinner
party, Jerry gives them the night off. [This has to be
another set-up.] The driver takes the men to the
hottest nightclub in London, Oceana. [Viewlondon
gives the club one star out of five: http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/review_2189.html
saying that the club is, a huge student pub with
terrible music, overdressed suburbanites and dance
floors like cattle markets.]
Anwar ruefully comments about the upcoming night of
fun, Im happy that we get to go out, but every time
we go out, somebody always takes it too far with the
first Ricardo, then Jason
The guys go into
the clubs V.I.P. lounge and meet a group of girls,
who hear that the himbos had a pool and jacuzzi and
who volunteer to come back to the house. [Hello,
doesnt this seemed contrived?]
Seth says that the men got wasted, so nobody opposed
bringing the broads back with us. Anwar realizes that
it wasnt the wisest thing to go down there with the
girls and have a good time. You never know when Jerry
or her friends could pop up. The best thing for me to
do would be to go to bed.
The men (minus Anwar) are relaxing around the pool
when one of the women takes off her top. The rest of
the women do the same thing. [Its seeming even more
] Jon relates that the women just started
going crazy. Devonric (who is seen holding a topless
blond) smugly says, Im here to be Jerrys kept man,
not her boyfriend. Im trying to be fun and live
carefree. Maurizio rationalizes If Im kept, I will
be on call for Jerry. That doesnt mean that I
couldnt hang out and flirt with other girls.
[Apparently all of the men have the same idea, because
we are treated to a montage of Maurizio, Austen and
Devonric all shown holding topless women with their
boobs fuzzed out .]
Jon is surprised that even Austen is partaking of the
forbidden fruit, and Austen is shown nuzzling with one
of the girls, albeit the one with her bottom and top
still on. Seth, whose trunks are hanging so low both
the front and back are blurred out, gets pushed into
the pool by two topless women. Austen says, the fact
that they had the women over could spell trouble for
everyone but Anwar, so in that effect it was
definitely a mistake.
The next morning, the hung-over men receive a note
from Katy letting them know that the transportation to
their next challenge departs at 8:30 a.m. sharp! Seth
whines, I am f**ing so hung over. While Jon, who
should just be grateful that he is still on the show,
says that he got caught in the moment. I feel that I
have cheated on Jerry. [You have to be having a
relationship first to cheat on somebody, dumb-shit.]
Maurizio hopes that Jerry doesnt find out about the
previous evenings festivities or else everyone will
be on deaths door, while good-boy Anwar is hoping
for the opposite, hoping that it will be him ahead of
the other men.
In a major non-sequitur, Jerry talks about how she
loves horses. Horses are a big part of her life. She
has a horse and rides a couple times a week.
The himbos go to Ascot Park Polo Club. Jerry says that
she really enjoys going to polo matches and thinks
that the boys should learn a little about the game.
[Great transition, the men go from being big dumb
animals the night before to riding on big dumb
] Their instructor is to be Tarquin Sothwell,
who is described as a World Famous Polo Player. [Tarquin
had apparently dated supermodel Jodie Kidd for four
years. The same month they broke up, she became
engaged to another guy. He seems like he might be a
good person for Jerry to keep.]
The men are given helmets, chaps, and polo outfits.
Tarquin introduces the men to Woody, a stationary
polo pony mock-up.
While the men are being humiliated by Tarquin, Jerry
is rehearsing for a show that Eddie Izzard is putting
on for the BBC. Jerrys friend Rachel Fuller comes
over to Jerrys house along with her boyfriend, Pete
Townshend [who apparently was taking a break from his
courageous efforts to battle child pornography]. The
three of them will be performing an original song that
Rachel wrote. Jerry feels lucky that Pete is
performing, since as the lead guitarist for The Who,
he doesnt generally do small gigs. The song is called
Around this Table and tackles the subject of
divorce, the disappointment and sadness that
accompanies it, and how some couples fight over
inanimate objects that become imbued with the spirit
of this strife. [Of course what I wonder is whether
Jerrys other friend Bill Wyman and Pete Townshend
hang out together, because they seem to have similar
Jerry says that music is important to her, then a
montage of Jerry accompanying all the musical people
she has had sex with is flashed, including Brian Ferry
from Roxy Music and Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones.
[I am surprised that they didnt find some musical
connection to Sean Connery, so they could flash his
picture again as well.] Jerry wants to share that
aspect of her life with a deserving boy. [Is she going
to have group sex with a himbo and one of her former
Meanwhile, back with the big dumb animals, Maurizio
says that Tarquin has them doing a lot of crazy
exercises. Some of the men seem to have difficult
operating their horses. Seth says that his balls are
killing him; one has to assume that he isnt talking
about the polo balls.
Jerry and her friends show up at the polo field. John
comments that Jerry didnt seem to show any awareness
of the pool party. It seems like we got a lucky
break. Tarquin says that the men are going to be
broken up into three-person teams. Maurizio is
confident in his ability to play; I guarantee you
that Jerry and her friends are going to see a new polo
stud. The himbos opposition comes onto the field.
The men are shocked when they see their opposition: a
trio of teenaged girls.
Seth says that the girls are ringers, he could tell by
their small horses with wrapped tails and flairs on
the horses legs. Jerry says that her kept man
doesnt need to be a polo expert, but he does need to
be a good sport and has to be able to be part of a
The first team of men, (Maurizio, Devonric, and Jon,
go to battle against the girls. Jerry says that a
horse sizes up its rider immediately and could tell
that these riders were not in charge. The men get
their asses kicked. Jon could hardly even get his
horse to move. Jerry says that Maurizio managed to
not look too bad. Seth says, Devonric, the guy has
done it all. Hes an astronaut, he shoots f**king
Maurizio comments that Devonric was talking
big about his abilities, but didnt come through.
Jerry drawls, Hes from Texas for gods sake.
Everyone from Texas can ride. At the half-time, the
score is 8 to 0.
Austen swears that his team would score at least one
goal. There is no way that we are going to embarrass
ourselves like the other guys did. Austen
uncharacteristically swears because he cant get his
horse to go where he wants it to, when he wants it to.
Jerry is surprised and disappointed in Austens
behaviour. Seth manages to hit the ball once,
impressing Jerry. Jerry says that Anwar looks great on
his horse, he had obviously ridden before. Tarquin
give the men a mercy penalty shot. Austen takes it,
but doesnt score. The score for the second group was
6 to 0. Austen says that Jerry is always encouraging,
even when we suck at everything.
Jerry toasts the men: Heres to sore bottoms. [What
she likes spankings?] Jerry and her friends leave,
and the bouncers show up.
Jerry and her friends debate the mens fate. Jo Wood,
wife of Rolling Stone, Ron Wood, says that the men
were lucky not to fall off the horses. Actress Annabel
Brooks said that Devonric looked like an old man
bobbing up and down. Jerry says Seth held his own,
Anwar looked the best, while Austen hit the ball the
best. Jo noticed that Jons horse interacted with the
ball more than he did. Rachel wryly comments that Jon
nearly got s**t on. Maurizio did ok, but Jerry sadly
says none of them were dazzling horsemen.
Katy comes in and does her you cant always get what
you want speech, and gives the list to bouncer Chris
who starts calling names: Anwar, Maurizio, Seth and
Austen. Jon says, Almost every elimination, its me
and somebody else, but I always pull through. Ive got
to believe this has got to happen again.
The last name called is Devonric.
Devonric explains, Little Jon had no clue that he was
going to be eliminated. From day one he thought that
he was going to win. It was sad man, that kid, he put
his total heart into it. Jon says, Jerry is missing
out on a lot by not having me here. She hasnt given
me the opportunity to show her what she is missing.
Shes missing a lot, a nice guy from Connecticut who
is very honest, very sincere and very caring and very
determined [and very unaware of the fact that he
shouldnt use the word very so many times in a
sentence]. Jerry remaks, The fact that Jon has
always given 100% percent is why he has made it this
far. Not that I actually saw Jon as my kept man, but
after today I dont see any reason to keep him any
The producers obviously like Jon, so he is given a
montage of moments set to The Shins song New Slang.
He is going to miss Jerry and was looking forward to
being her kept man. If he cant be a kept man for
Jerry he doesnt want to be one for anyone. [As if
women are just lining up to have Jon as their kept
Seth asks Devonric how Jon looked. Devonric replies,
How do you think he looked, <<bleep>>, <<bleep>>,
quit asking me, he never harmed anybody man, though we
did make fun of him. Seth mocks Devonrics
insincerity; He give me attitude like he cared about
the kid when basically the whole time hes been sh*tting
on him, trying to make him look stupid, when he is the
stupid one. Seth mocks Devonric for shitting on Jon
the most. Seth says that he busted his balls, but
tried to make Jon look good, while Devronric said
stupid sh*t to make him feel bad. Devonric seems to
feel guilty because he says, Im going to dedicate
everything I do to little Jon. He says that the other
guys claim to be his friend, but they sit there and
bash your ass.
Seth pronounces Devonric his new nemesis because he is
a two-faced piece of (^_^).
The men go home and mope a bit. The doorbell rings and
a note arrives. Maurizio is invited on a date with
Jerry. After Jerry had bought Maurizios painting, he
sent her flowers as a thank you. This obviously
impressed her because she thanked him and invited him
out on a date.
Maurizio meets Jerry in Soho. Jerry shows up at the
restaurant and Maurizio has the presence of mind to
open the door for her. They go to Ronnie Scotts, a
famous jazz club. Rachel and Pete Townshend meet the
couple and they sit at a table in front. Jerry is
introduced and goes up on stage with her quartet,
which includes Rachel and Pete. Jerry is nervous.
Jerry does spoken word stuff, reading from a card, We
built a home to live in, we love the things we found,
we fill it full of paintings, put kilos on the ground
[kilos of marijuana?], Our friends all come to dinner,
this table is our pride, we talk about the worlds
affairs, those who have loved and died. Then Rachel
sings. [Rachel has a nice voice. http://www.rachelfuller.com/]
Maurizio says that he cant describe what transpired
on stage, and then goes on to contradict himself by
describing it as a sort of country folk music.
Maurizio tells Rachel and Jerry that they look like
superstars. Jerry says that he knows all of the right
things to say. Rachel utters, Maurizio was charming
and handled it really well. Jerry said that it was a
stressful evening, but Maurizio put me at ease and
made it work for me.
The next day the men want to know about the date.
Austen says, Not only was Maurizio lucky enough to go
on a date with Jerry, but he also got to meet Pete
Townshend, which is cool. That guy is like a rock
legend. When I finally get a date with Jerry, I hope
that mine is as good as Maurizio, if not better.
Jerry says, I had a really nice time with Maurizio.
Its getting to be a very close race with the boys
that I have left, so I want to see who will separate
himself from the pack.
The boys go on another outing. Seth sees a horse and
says, There is no way that I am riding a horse again.
My balls, my ass, my legs, <<bleep>>, black and blue.
The men see that they are going to Lingfield Park
racetrack and think for a minute that they will be
racing horses. Instead they are introduced to Barry
Dennis, who is a bookie who will be teaching them
Austen says that he cant understand what the bookie
is saying due to the cockney slang that he uses.
[Frankly I dont understand what the hell this guy is
saying either, so dont expect a word-for-word recap
of this section.]
Jerry and Rachel show up. Jerry says [in a
pseudo-British accent] that she once chose at the
Kentucky Darby the top three horses. She chose the
horses based on which one looked the friskiest.
Maurizio wants to know if thats how Jerry will be
choosing from amongst the men. Jerry says that its
nice to see how much Maurizio has loosened up since
Jerrys friends Annabelle and Suzanne walk in. Jerry
says that she is using this date as an opportunity to
interrogate the guys one by one with her friends.
Maurizio says that everyone is like a horse, you have
the big horse (Austen), the funny horse (Seth), the
tall horse (Anwar), the strong horse (Devonric) and
the outcome is going to depend on what Jerry wants to
be on. [What kind of horse is Maurizio?]
Jerry and her friends start interrogating the men.
They ask Seth if he has a girlfriend. He says that he
doesnt right now. He had a girlfriend, but he jokes
that he is incapable of love. Suzanne tries to defend
him in a way, telling the rest of the women that
Seths girlfriend broke his heart. Seth tells the
women that Maurizio has his own room because he is
obsessive-compulsive. This has piqued Jerrys
They ask Maurizio about his obsessive-compulsiveness.
Rachel says that the women like a man with a
condition. [Which explains why she is with Pete
Townshend.] Jerry says that the more she sees
Maurizio, the more she likes him. Maurizio says that
the worst thing is having the cable guy come for a
visit and ask to use the restroom and he [Maurizio]
freaks out [about there possibly being a stray pubic
hair on the bar of soap]. Maurizio says that he had
felt like he was an underdog, but Jerry made him feel
like he was part of the race to be her kept man.
Austen is asked what he does for fun. He says that he
plays card games and online Scrabble. He is asked if
he had a lot of success with girls as a teenager. He
said he dated one girl through high school and another
through college. He felt shy with girls. He is asked
if he still feels shy with girls and says, Obviously,
look at me. Suzanne Wyman says, I thought Austen was
a bit aloof and they think that Austen is shy. I think
that shyness is a way of saying that somebody is
self-obsessed. [What a bitch.]
Devonric is interviewed next. Somebody asks about his
living at home. He says, I was with an agency [for
modeling] and they basically pulled my chair and
<<bleep>>ed me around to keep me from going someplace
else. Jerry says that DD always looks beautiful, but
his conversation is not up to standards.
Anwar says that the women are the funnest people
there. You can tell that you are a great group of
girls. A lot of women when they reach a certain age,
and its about thirty, give up. [Jerry is seen
raising her eyebrows at this statement.] They lose
their sparkle. But you ladies have definitely held
onto it and you can see a difference. Rachel asks,
How old do you think I am? Anwar answers, Honestly,
37. The women start glaring at him and Rachel says,
Im 30. Anwar, who has made a huge mistake,
desperately tries to backpeddle his way out of the
quagmire he has thrown himself into. You are 30? Are
you serious? [Anwar, you are making it worse.] Anwar
then says, You are all beautiful for your ages,
whatever they may be.
A somber mood comes over the women and Jerry decides
to leave the racetrack. Jerry says that the
conversations with the girls were quite telling. We
definitely got more information than we anticipated.
The bouncers show up again. Anwar says that this is
the most nervous he has ever been [Rightfully so, he
fucked up big time]. Austen says that each of Jerrys
friends has a particular favorite. Anwar said that he
had been smooth up to this point, but his slip over
Rachel might have cost him the game.
Jerry says that she is looking for a man who is fun
to be around, natural, relaxed, honest, in the moment,
and somebody who could fit in with her friends. Jerry
says that Devonric is beautiful, if he would just not
talk. Suzanne says that Seth is a likable guy who is
down to earth and what you see is what you get.
Jerry says that she is getting bored with Seth. Rachel
likes Austen, but Suzanne finds him too secretive, he
doesnt join in with the guys, he doesnt take risks.
Rachel says that she likes Maurizio. The women say
that Anwar is acting like he is in a job interview and
it can seem arrogant. Rachel blasts Anwar for his age
comment and Suzanne says that he cant be knocked out
for that reason.
Katy comes in and does her you cant always get what
you want speech. Chris once again reads the names:
Austen, Maurizio, Seth. Seth is happy that he is being
kept, but he never wants to see another f*cking horse
Anwar and Devonric remain. Anwars name is called.
Anwar realizes that he made a mistake with Rachel, but
says that if Jerry had realized what had happened at
the pool party, his name would have been the first one
Jerry says that Devonric has a lot to learn. She hated
having to get rid of him because he is beautiful and
from Texas. She would have loved to go out with him,
but he can be boring and doesnt have a lot to say.
She continues: The boys think that they have pulled
the wool over my eyes, but they should know that after
the Jason fiasco, I am always watching. They are going
to pay for their little pool party. Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow. But someday and soon. [Insert evil
laugh here: Bwah-hah-hah-hah! Ill get you Dorothy and
you little dog too.]
Next time: Jerry sends the guys to find spiritual
balance. Jerry thinks that a flexible body means a
flexible mind. [Arent some parts supposed to be stiff
and erect, though?] It looks like Austen gets into a
fight. Somebody tells Anwar that they would like for
him to leave. Austen thinks that he could beat the
[Seth has a blog as well http://realitytvmyass.blogspot.com/]