Game Show NewsNet

Episode 8 - November 9

The ladies want their equal time again. And, man, are they gonna GET it in this season finale! They'll have to go through four wicked events in order to win a great sports fantasy...for someone ELSE.

Here are the three sacrificial virgins and the loved ones who they will be "deflowering" themselves for:

VENUS RAMOS
From: Kansas City, MO
Profession: Doctor/Fitness Model
Playing for: Randy Ramos
Relation: Brother
Dream: Be strength coach for a day with the Kansas City Chiefs

YVETTE BURGESS
From: Miami, FL
Profession: Mother
Playing for: Channing Burgess
Relation: 16-year-old son
Dream: Meet Tony Hawk

KRISTI VETICA
From: Orange County, CA
Other Profession: Aspitring actress (waitress, in other words)
Playing for: Steve Vetica
Relation: Brother
Dream: Play golf with Jack Nichalus

(And, remember, these stunts are put together and overseen by so-called "trained professionals". So even if you WOULD do anything, you're not on TV...so DON'T DO ANYTHING THEY'RE DOING!)

SACRIFICE 1: PAIN - ROLL AND GET ROCKED!

The six people drive their F-150s to a roller park to meet host George Gray inside an enclosed area...which almost looks like an RC version of Indianapolis Motor Speedway. George goes over how winning sacrifices will determine the Final. Win one, advance to the Final. Win two, knock a player out. Win all three, CHOOSE which ONE they face in the Final.

Now the first sacrifice is dirt simple since it involves the girls going nowhere fast. All they have to do is skate around the track for five minutes and try to finish five laps, the one doing so in the shortest time - or the one completing the most laps if none can go five - winning. Oh, uh,...one more thing; they won't be alone. See, this is a roller derby rink, so a number of female roller derbyists (the L.A. Derby Dolls) will be pursuing each lady and, should they catch her, knocking her on her ass! The GOOD news is that the debry darlings may only go in one direction and cannot stop, so it's not like they can turn around and wait for them so they can level them.

First up to put on the roller skates is Yvette. She and Channing KNOW that the pads she's putting on aren't going to help much in THIS event. She starts with a half-a-lap lead on the Derby Dolls... but it doesn't take too long after George yells "GO" to close THAT gap. Sure enough, before Yvette can even reach the DOLLS' starting line, she knocked into the infield. But she would get up and continue...she's a mother, after all. Her strategy is to just skate near the center of the track...and prepare to "duck and roll" if she hears the pitter-patter of little wheels approaching her. She gets put down time and time again...and a shot to the back half-way through the five minutes has her moaning in pain. She has the wind knocked out of her, so she spends close to a minute catching her breath before getting back out there. She manages just over three laps before she get knocked down again and time runs out. After a five-minute session of losing her breath,...Yvette loses her lunch.

Next one to enter this valley of the Dolls is Venus. She is terrified at how they look at her before the start. Venus gets one lap done before the Dolls get close to her...and TWO laps before two girls give her a backwards clothesline to the floor. But Venus is a LOT tougher than Yvette, as she gets right back up and keeps skating. She goes up and down and up and down, completing her third lap in just over one minute! But, on the fourth lap,...she gets slammed down to the infield. She's running out of breath and getting harassed by the Dolls at the same time. She ends up down on the track on all fours, huffing and puffing. After crawling to the infield, she spends no less than two minutes trying to get her breath back. As such, she gets back on the track and finishes a fourth lap with 30 seconds left. But a Dool plasters her into the side wall...and there she stays until time runs out. She beat Yvette's score by a full lap...but there's still one person left.

That one is Kristi and she only gets a half-lap in before being levelled by the Dolls. But she gets right back up. Again, it's down and up, down and up. But Kristi is even tougher than the other two, it seems; she gets right back up every time in the forst two minutes. Then SHE starts to get fatigued after a shot. She completes three laps in under 2 1/2 minutes...but it feels like ONE lap to her since she's exhausted. Still, she trudges on...but she can't get too much further in the final half; it seems like, as soon as she gets momentum, a Doll stops it cold. With 30 seconds left, she needs to get another half-a-lap. She sucks up her strength, gives some long strides, dodges a few dolls...and just BARELY makes it as time runs out! She wins the sacrifice and puts Steve within putting distance of playing with the Golden Bear (assuming Charles Arnold didn't wear him out yet).

SACRIFICE 2: PAIN - REAL "XTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL"

On the beach, the sore girls and their co-horts walk to a volleyball net and meet George again. As you may have guessed, the sacrifice involves beach volleyball. But, unlike Tina and Kasumi from "Dead Or Alive", these are REAL female pro beach volleyball players ready to spike them into the sand! Simply put, the girls will spike 10 balls at the players and they must knock them back over the net. Whoever gets the most over wins.

Venus is up first...and she knows she'd better have "god hands" to take these girls on. The first shot hits her forearms hard and goes sailing. After five shots just like that, she's SURE she won't be able to return even ONE. The last one has the right arc...but it hits the net. Zero returns for Venus.

Kristi is next, deciding not to be afraid like she thinks Venus was. She actually GETS a shot over the net...but it lands out of bounds so it doesn't count. He forearms are aching with each hit to them from these wicked-fast balls. Her final attempt goes straight up...and straight down. Not a single one is returned.

This means that all Yvette has to do is get ONE over and she wins. Her son gives her a strategy...but when the balls come at her hard and fast, strategy is RIGHT out the window. One by one, the ball slam her arms, wrists and fists, but not a one gets over the net.

Oh, wait,...there's a SECOND round. And, in THIS round, the net is lowered so that the pros can spike better...and the players will be buried up to their knees in sand! As if they weren't used to getting sand in their faces enough!

Kristi will take the stage first this time. Stuck in one place, all she can do is put her arms over her face and hope something deflects over the net. One after another, the balls come right at her and her forearms take most of the abuse. Then comes the last one...and it goes over! And it's in-bounds! She's in the lead!

Venus is even MORE nervous than before, since she can't move. And that...does NOT help. She's so scared, all she can do is cross her arms across her face...and pray! Bang, bang, bang go the balls, and she doesn't even TRY to aim one over the net. The last shot gets her right in the exposed stomach but she's more hurt that she's let her brother down.

If Yvette can get one ball over, they'll go to sudden death. If she gets TWO over, she'll win outright. Otherwise...well, let's make it easy, folks; it ain't gonna happen. Unlike the other girls, though, she DOES make a conscious effort to TRY to aim the ball back over the net. The shot hit her open hands, arms, chest and stomach...but not a one gets over. Kristen has won her second sacrifice, giving her the advantage going into the Final. That also means either Randy may not be coaching or Channing may not be skating.

SACRIFICE 3: SHAME - A MODEL OF EMBARRASSMENT

George meets the teams that night in front of a building in Hollywood. He warns Yvette and Venus that ONE of them is going home after tonight so winning this sacrifice is IMPORTANT! He then asks them what the most popular issue of "Sports Illustrated" is every year. Well, DUH! That would be the world-famous "swimsuit issue", of course! So all the ladies have to do is model some swimwear...in front of a crowd of press...and in the most hideous of swimwear choices!

Each of the players will have their choice of god-awful swimwear to wear and will take a stroll down the runway of an ACTUAL runway session with ACTUAL pro models. They'll have to exude confidence as they will be judged by SI swimsuit model Marisa Miller. The one she decides makes the best model wins the sacrifice.

Needless to say, the girls are nervous about this...but Yvette is worse than ANYONE. She actually starts to CRY at the idea since, well, she's not the most shapely of 'models'. Channing tells her she doesn't HAVE to do this if she doesn't want to...but she's willing to try. They pick their awful swimsuits and, an hour before showtime, actually MEET Marisa Miller. Marisa tells them that she'll be judging not on looks but on confidence and attitude. She also gives them pointers on how best to walk that runway.

Five minutes to showtime, the three girls are in the corner of the dressing room, watching all the beautiful PRO models and their oh-so-skimpy swimwear. It's nerve-racking, no doubt, but it gives them a little more resolve to do their best.

And it's SHOWTIME! First, of course, are the pros, which get the guys in the audience rather...excited. But one can take only so much of this so...bring on the amateurs! First is Kristi, donning a bright red, flowery one piece complete with flowers on the bathing cap. She strutted down the runway, posed front and back, and strutted right back in relief that her 15 seconds of fame are over.

After another pro or two, it's Yvette's turn, who is just nervous about falling. She wears a loose white bikini that covers...just about everything, really. She walks down the runway with her arms out, essentially saying, "Yeah, this is me, what of it?" She definitely looks confident, though, as she poses and retreats, shaking that backside at the crowd.

Finally is Venus, who doesn't want to get the crowd's attention like the others did. Instead, she comes out on a sundress covering her bathing suit and tries to "sell" the crowd that she IS a runway model.

But they're not there for just ONE suit to display, oh no. Like other models, they have to do TWO. Kristi dons a blue and yellow bikini which looks a LITTLE more flattering...but at a rather fast pace. Yvette is in what looks like a maternity swimsuit...but smiles and takes in the crowd's cheers. In her slow walk down the aisle. And Venus...her multi-colored bikini MORE than made up for the dinky flowery cap on her head.

Afterwards, Marisa says they handled this intimidating event very well...but she wouldn't say who did the best right now.

The Ultimate Sports Fantasy Bar awaits the players once again in the ravine. Again, Yvette and Venus HAVE to win this one or go home. If Kristi wins, she gets to decide WHO goes home. The decision handed down by Marisa is in a nifty handbag and is just WAITING for someone to pull it out. Yvette reaches in and pulls out the flowery bathing cap with a name on it: VENUS! That means Yvette, though she tried her hardest, just couldn't get Channing to do kick flips with Tony Hawk. Guess he'll have to look for him in the "Underground" to do that.

FINAL: INSANE - CHOPPER SLALOM

Two trucks head for Lake Piru and George greets the four remaining people. He informs the two contesti that they'll be doing a slalom course out on the lake. But...they won't be towed by a skiboat. They'll be towed...by a helicopter!

Each lady will be lifted off the starting point grabbing two gripholds hanging from a helicopter. The copter will then weave and bob the girls through a 10-flag slalom run. The one who hangs on the longest - or who completes the course in the fastest time - wins the Final and the sports fantasy of their loved one's lifetime!

Since Kristi won two sacrifices, she gets to choose who goes first. She doesn't hesitate and says, "I'll go second!" They all pile into George's car - which happens to double as a boat - and head out to the starting line. Venus is VERY nervous but is TRYING to calm herself since her muscles cramp when she's nervous. In comes the chopper, down comes the hand holds. She pauses a few time to make sure she has a good grip...and away she goes. As the chopper picks up speed, she starts to sway...and it feels like her arms are going to disconnect from their sockets. Still, she hangs on through 1...2...3...4 gates. She's just trying to stay at peace and meditate to stay on the ropes. 5...6...7 gates, she hangs on...and Kristi looks nervous as to how long she's lasted. Going around Gate 10, though, Venus finally lets go. He held on for 2:01 and didn't miss a gate, meaning Kristi needs to beat that to get Steve golfing with Nichalus.

Kristi is up now. She gets her grip and takes off...but she finds that gravity is increasing on her as she goes through the gates. It's very difficult for her to hang on through 3 gate...and Venus thinks it's in the bag. 4...5...6...she starts to flail her legs more and more...and, finally, she drops! She could only hang on for 1:28...and that means Venus has won for her brother his dream position for a day!

PRIZE: Randy Ramos will be taken to Kansas City Chiefs' training camp where he will work as a strength coach for the team for one day.

HE may get the Chiefs strong enough for a playoff run...but is this show strong enough for a second season?! Well, hell, Fear Factor has been on forever so...why not?!