This is it - the FINALE of Hit Me Baby 1 More Time. We were promised SURPRISES! We would probably get them if it was a huge hit, but since it's not, I don't expect much in the realm of surprises. After the non-surprising recap of last week, we get to see the 5 artists for this week. Juice Newton, Animotion, Shannon, PM Dawn and Missing Persons. Nothing surprising so far...

Vernon Kay welcomes us to the season finale and recaps that Thelma Houston won. The online voters wanted to see...Glass Tiger win. I personally thought that Billy Vera should have won, but what do I know?

We start the finale with Juice Newton, who graced the Top Ten singles with 'Queen of Hearts', 'Angel of the Morning' and 'The Sweetest Thing' (two of which were redone and made into hits by other artists). She also won a Grammy in 1983 and has sold over 10 million albums. This could make her the queen of hits, but she performs 'Queen of Hearts'. She was not queen of the pitch, as she was flat in spots, but it wasn't awful and she did look pretty good. There were some VERY weird edits in their though - at the end of the song, she was clapping and 1 second later, she was playing the guitar. Huh?

Juice says that she got it from her extended family. She wants to squeeze out more music with the Ashley Simpson song 'Pieces of Me'. Someone tackling Ashley Simpson? I hope that the backup track works better for Juice than it did for Ashley...

In the mid-80's we saw the debut of California synth-pop with 'Obsession'. They also hit the charts with other songs (such as 'I Engineer') and they recreated themselves for another run at the pop charts, but they are known for 'Obsession', and that's what they are performing. If there is any doubt that they are playing a track behind the singers, it's gone after this song - the backout track is completely washed out and all you can hear is the singers, with the instruments doing the lip-synching. That's too bad, because they put on a pretty good show, which would have sounded a lot better if the sound technicians weren't behind the wheel sleeping.

Animotion says that they continue to have a good time and they give props to John Kirkpatrick's guitar playing, which gave them more of a rock edge. Their recent song that they will be performing will be Dirty Vegas's 'Days Gone By', and as their styles are very similar, that could be a fun performance.

Shannon wants to let the music play - literally, as she had a monster hit with that song. She also gave us 'Give Me Tonight', but it was 'Let the Music Play' that gave her a million copies sold and a #1 hit in 1984. Shannon does her best Thelma Houston impersonation and dances us into a frenzy as we are fortunate enough to get out backup track back in working order. Also dancing behind her - 3 skimpily dressed dancers. Is that truly necessary? Apparently, because more camera time is spent on them than Shannon. Maybe it's to cover the uneven singing or the forgotten lyrics at the end of the song. Nonetheless, we get a pushup from her during the chorus and the song is over.

Shannon says that her songs made everyone happy. What else will make them happy? Her new album! You shill! She also hopes that her second song, Ashanti's 'Foolish', will also make everyone happy. We'll see...

Prince B and DJ Minute Mix combined to form the group PM Dawn. They also combined to form three Top Ten hits - 'Looking Through Patient Eyes', I'd Die Without You', and their biggest hit, 'Set Adrift on Memory Bliss'. We get to hear their biggest hit (of course), complete with a shameless backup man and a shameless thanks to G-d. I will give them credit with a nice performance, though - it was easily the best that we've heard so far, even with a backup guy.

The band tells Vernon that there was never any fights on who the lead off singer should be. There is also no question as to what their second song is going to be - 'Blurry' by Puddle of Mud. I can't see them doing it in a rock style, can you?

But going to a rock style, we get Missing Persons. I loved their Top 20 song 'I Can't Think About Dancing', but we're not going to hear that one. Dale Bosio's group has more popular songs to select, such as 'Walking in L.A.', 'Destination Unknown', and 'Words'. The song they select? 'Words'. That's a terrible choice of song, because I will be that no one in the crowd knows that song. They do an 'Ok' job, but 'Ok' isn't going to win this, especially since they had to perform after the high-energy'd PM Dawn.

Dale is asked how she learned how to squeak, and she says that it's a natural thing. She also says that the next song choice was also natural - 'I Can't Get You Out of My Head' by Kylie Minogue.

What bands can't I get out of my head?

1. PM Dawn
2. Animotion
3. Shannon
4. Missing Persons
5. Juice Newton
6. Animotion's Technical Sound Crew. Yeccch.

It's time for the second round of songs. Juice will be singing to us - but not before telling us about her 3 dogs, fish, and iguana (whose name is Bob) as she lives in San Diego. She performs around 100 times a year and still writes music. Juice sings 'Pieces of Me', and she never gets her vocal pieces together. The still is flat and just can't match her pitch to the band or the track. I'm sure she sounds great acoustically, but she didn't hit it tonight.

Where has Animotion gone? The couple has stayed together - sort of. The male's sons turned into Rex Aquarium, while the male has gone into graphic design. The female is busy raising a daughter. The performance was not bad, and they probably would have had a legitimate run to win the whole thing if not for their washed out back-track in the first song. Curse you, sound technicians!

Shannon is currently in the beautiful White Stone, New York. She loves being in th water, and has both a boat and a car. She is back with a new cd (BUY BUY BUY) and she is looking to recreate the same momentum that Irene Cara had as she sings 'Foolish'. She starts out great...oh wait, that's the backup singers. As for her? In the words of Randy Jackson, she is 'Alright', but she doesn't have the vocal fire like Irene or Thelma, or PM Dawn...or even of Juice Newton.

Since hitting the big time, PM Dawn migrated from Jersey City to Howell, NJ. Prince B has kids while the two brothers continue to collect records. His goal? To be a successful vegetarian. Well, we have a new candidate for the next Celebrity Fit Club. Remember when I said that there's no way they would keep 'Blurry' a rock song? I'm right - they make it a nice urban song. It's better than their first effort, if just because there's no annoying backup person rapping away.

Finally, It's Missing Persons, coming to us from Philadelphia. Dale is a single mother with 2 sons. She thinks that she wanted to quit at 50, but she's having too much fun. They take the Kylie Minogue song 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' and turn it into a punk rock piece. I think it works for the most part, but once again, those sound gremlins are on the loose and Dale's voice keeps dropping out. Damn sound gremlins!

How did the bands do this time around?

1. PM Dawn
2. Missing Persons
3. Animotion
4. Shannon
5. Juice Newton
6. Missing Person's Damn Sound Gremlins

It should be a no-brainer this week...

1. PM Dawn
2. Missing Persons
3. Animotion
4. Shannon
5. Juice Newton
6. Sound Gremlins

Does the crowd agree me? Vernon says that it's the closest vote ever, as the winners are...PM DAWN! The charity that PM Dawn will be sending the $20,000 first prize to the Juvenile Diabetes Organization. Vernon thanks all of the artists for the past 5 weeks and thanks them for donating $100,000 for various charities. PM Dawn re-raps 'Set Adrift on Memory Bliss' as we get out of here. Fade to black. End of series.

And no, there were no surprises. FALSE ADVERTISING!

My take? Well, in this show, you saw the best and worst of this show. The good? Most of the artists were very good, and some of them gave breathtaking performances. Almost every changed rendition of a current song was great and many of the artists have certainly earned a second listen. Some of them haven't been so good, but there will be some klunkers in a variety show and you get what you get. Most of the performances, though, have been solid.

The bad? The biggest problem is Vernon Kay. He has too much energy and need to be subdued before hosting this. The sound edits have been terrible. The song should be played out in its entirety and we should see exactly what the audience sees. If that means that there should only be 4 groups instead of 5, then so be it. There are so many sound gremlins that I don't even think an army of Mogwai's would help.

So to sum this up - Concept = A, Performers = B+, Host = D, Sound = C-. Overall grade = C+. This is Gordon Pepper, who is more than happy to hit you with recaps, one more time.