Housewives" - November 16
After one wedding and a funeral, we're left with
Albert/Alberta, Donnell/Raven (after squeaking by on a
tiebreaker), Cree/Carmen, and David/Wynonna.
We start the next phase
with... a box. What's in it?
"Gentlemen, there's no
place like home, and that's where you're going. But the
lady of the house will be away, so your job is to fill
her shoes. Pack your bags." Donnell's really excited
about going back home... but then there's the pink and
flowery suitcases, and you know what this means...
First stop: Wynonna in
Milwaukee. Dave thinks he's looking pretty hot, "by
Wisconsin standards." Next, Alberta invades Birmingham.
Karen greets him... to one of the haughtiest laughs I've
ever heard. Cree takes Carmen to Vegas. Finally, Raven
returns to the ATL (well, Mableton, at least). Each one
has a note with instructions and chores.
Carmen has to pick up
Jared from school... in full gear, and then host a poker
party... in full gear. If that wasn't bad enough, Raven
will be meeting his momma for lunch. And other family
members, of course. Work ensues. As does hilarity.
Lesson learned, you in fact CAN use your boobs to do
Carmen is a tad nervous
about picking up stepson Jared from school. Jared
immediately wants the girl voice. "Thanks for no
laughing at me."
Raven greets his mother
and other family. "I was shocked. I almost walked by
him. But then I saw the eyes," Louise (mom) said as
Raven asks to be referred to by his non-proper name. The
father seems to have a problem with pronunciation.
Alberta goes to the
driving range... to meet his buddies and brother. Uh oh.
"We're just shooting a few balls. Remember those?" Well,
he'll remember them quicker, as he's now driving the
ball picker... and getting picked off one bucket at a
time. The guys cop one feel before Albert heads to
babysit one of Diana (wife's) regular client's kids.
Finally, Carmen hosts a
poker party with his buddies. Random friend: "I thought
it was called All-American Guy." Carmen: "Yeah, so did
Meanwhile, Johnny is
welcomed home by "Miss Wynonna." They're just about to
walk the dogs when Samantha (stepdaughter). Miss Wynonna
and Johnny have a heart to heart about Dave... and he
catches onto Miss Wynonna. "Because you have the same
ring as him!" The two hug and cry and it's all nice and
... yeah. David admits that the only reason he's doing
this is for the kids. But it takes a certain amount of
machismo to dress in drag.
Next up, another
challenge, another Dude Pass on the line. Simple: follow
the recipe, bake a pie. They all complete it. And
Alberta: "John Salley... it's for you, baby."
The guys return to LA,
where their pies await judgment by three of LA's finest
pastry chefs. And the prize for this Dude Pass? A night
in a posh hotel.. with their wife/girlfriend! It's pie
time. The winner: Wynonna! He's going with Jeanne to the
suite. So while Dave heads on his date ("We kissed, we
held, and we hugged"), the others... get a makeover.
And if Marvin Gaye's
"Let's Get It On" playing is any indication, it looks
like Dave and Jeanne are about to have a pretty good
time. But good times aside, elimination is afoot, and
Dave and Cree are discussing possible strategy. Dave
like Cree, but he promised a vote to Donnell, who's
feeling good about this. Cree knows that he's being
targeted, and Albert is pulling out all the stops to
ensure his safety.
It's time once again...
for elimination. Tonight, the ladies will be wearing
nightgowns. But instead of the usual reveal, Tony pulls
out.. Donnell's tape recorder, hidden under the
confessional chair. On it... Cree's voice: "Albert is
very Albert-centric, narcissistic, basically Vanity
Smurf in a real person. Donnell, ya know I like Donnell,
but I think he's full of (^_^) in a lot of ways." Now,
this presents an interesting quandary, as what Donnell
did, albeit unethical, is not out of the parameters of
the game. Dave felt like his gentlemen's agreement was
called into question, while Albert says that he wouldn't
have done it.
So now the bell is rung,
the gloves are off. There'll be no voting tonight, as
the judges will ultimately eliminate one person. Wynonna
believes that he had already decided who was going home,
but in light of the events, he will cast his vote for
Raven. Alberta votes for Carmen, as his pie had the most
room for improvement. Raven votes for Carmen as well...
but because of the wedding tirades from the last
"If y'all will indulge
me, I'd like to say this as a man. *removes earrings and
wig* The title of this game. I don't think it's a game,
I think it's a test, is the All-American Man, and the
test is to put us up under exorbitant stress in a very
uncomfortable unnatural situation for all of us. Albert,
the all-American Man considers everyone else over
themselves, and someone who looks past outward
superficial beauty. Don, the all-American man is also a
really good sport. Win, lose or draw, you have to be a
very good sport. And you're a poor sport. I think you
guys are great, and we would probably be really good
friends in other circumstances."
Now to the judges, as
Cree puts his hair back on. Alberta's here to compete.
Carmen believes he cares about the other guy before you.
As for "brother from another mother," he explains that
they are civil. One of them will not advance to the
final pageant next time. The judges have made their
Alberta... is safe.
Raven... is safe. Cree removes his wig... for reals this
time. It was going to be Donnell going home right up
until Cree's speech.
But now, we concentrate
on the future, and the $250,000 prize to be won. Who
will be the last lady standing? Find out next time!