And I see that TBS actually wrote lyrics to the song that I was trying to sing last week, so...

"Well, he's tough and tall and tan, he's a macho manly man, he's very burly.
But he's taking off his jock, puttin' on a fancy frock and now he's girly.
He's a lady, oh, no no, he's a lady,
Now he's in shock 'cause he's a lady,
And it's blowin' his mind"

Just so you don't get confused, here's who is still in the game: Dan/Giselle,
Ryan/Sunshine, Donnell/Raven, Cree/Carmen, Albert/Alberta, Michael/Scarlett, and David/Wynona.

Back in the Dollhouse, the guys can't sleep in the thought that they're surrounded by estrogen, but some suck it up and remember that this is a competition to win. Tony checks in and informs the guys (who, while in this lapseless room of a pink nightmare are free to be men) that they have a LOT to learn about being a lady. But don't worry, because today is Boot Camp. "Pay attention... there WILL be a test."

First up, Diane Doyle teaches the guys on the finer points of walking, talking, sitting (yes, sitting), and acting lady-like. I can't capture the whole essence of the instruction, but I can paraphrase from "Zorro the Gay Blade": swing your hips, flap your wrist, and talk like a sissy-boy. Oh, and asses when you get the chance.

From there we go to vocal, or "speaking in higher octaves without having to drop one of your testicles." Think junior high chorus...

Third stage: makeup. The sentiment: "Why do women subject themselves to all of this?" But the X-factor, of course... the wig. From this, they decide on personas. Should Donnell make Raven into a British exchange student? Should Ryan make Sunshine a little loosey-goosey? Should Ryan make RYAN a little loosey-goosey? Well, where there's reality, there's... that's right, reality cliche #512: open bar. With a blender. And while Ryan gets nicely toasted, we meet Elizabeth, the personal shopper, and you know what that means...

Donnell: "ROAD TRIP!!!!" Ryan takes one last slug and heads out the door... as Sunshine.

On the street... never mind what they shop for, first the "ladies" have to remember that red means stop and green means go. They realize that as women they get a lot of attention in boutiques. Ryan's view: "I think I have learned a lot today, but I think I forgot it three and a half drinks ago." And it shows at a second-hand store when Sunshine strips down to his skivvies. And gives us a little... oh man, I don't need to see that...

And after all that, a present... "Today, you got a crash course in how to walk, talk, and dress like a lady. Tomorrow, you'll have to do it for yourself." So the challenge: passing as a lady.... on a group date with Tony... How... awkward.

Okay, no Tony, but we are at the Universal City Walk. And welcoming them... an entourage of tourists. Those tourists will figure heavily as Tony asks them who the real lady is. The person who fools the most people will win "an awesome prize" and safety from tomorrow's elimination.

So far, no one is buying it. Actually, Alberta gets a few... Raven gets a few... Ryan gets somebody's number, I think. From there, it's onto bowling night, which, according to David, is very hard. It's even harder as "the ugly duckling". "I can honestly expect that I did not expect to feel this way." Chin up, Wy...

Now the result: Alberta was the "real lady". He wins immunity and a dude pass (a high-octane adventure) with another... ermm.. lady. But all is not roses and sunshine, as tomorrow is another elimination. And even uglier, the men must determine which two go before the judges for possible elimination.

Now the dynamics are starting to change, as David wants Ryan to go. Cree wants Donnell to go. As for the Dude Pass, Albert chooses Dan. So what's their adventure? A Hummer drives them there. Meanwhile, the guys get a lesson in women's health. Meaning... yeah, it's sex ed... the unabridged version. The first question, as asked by a doctor: "Can anyone tell me where the clitoris is?" As answered on an episode of "Coupling": "What's so hard to understand about front and center?"

Dan and Albert, though, are flying a high of their own... in a dogfight. Dan's plane ride sends him into dry heaves.

Coming up on elimination time with Morgan (*waves*), John ("Yeah YEAH!"), and Debbie ("In the hizzy for shizzy"). They send one home tonight. That one will not be Albert. So what will lady boot camp do to a man? Apparently... make you dainty and give your boobs a bit of a lift. Remember, they're not laughing at you. They're laughing for you. Now the votes... Sunshine and Scarlett are up. Sunshine admits that he took the song "Tipsy" to a new level. John gives him props for that, and for being so drunk that he doesn't even know what the hell he drank. Scarlett believes that he's down on the block because of his vanity/the others' jealousy.

The judges cut... Ryan. His binge drinking costs him. John's there with the cigar to send him on his way back to manhood.

And the facade continues next time..