Episode 5 - June 18

This is the fifth and final original episode planned for this series. Awwwww =(. Ben wonders if game shows are better than sex, since it will always last 30 minutes and will end with applause. Just like these clips...

Family Feud (Dawson) - Name something people do when they say good-bye. Answer - Leave. Name 1 of the 3 bears. Answer - Yogi. This stops Richard Dawson during the fast money round. Name an article of clothing that a woman may borrow from a man. Answer - Underpants. Name a slang word for money. The answer? Bitch, as the person thought that the emcee meant 'Mommy'. Ack. Name something you can't use without water. Answer - An ice cream cone. Wha? Richard - He's also teaching our children and that terrifies me.

Distraction... Jimmy - 'Dara, you said you went out with someone who played for Lake Noria.' Dara - 'Who told you that?' Jimmy - 'You did.' Oops. She also put Viagra in his food to get revenge when she found out that he cheated. What a lovely girl Dara is.

Family Feud - Name an occupation that someone uses to disguise themselves. Answer - Doctor.

With that, we get to the Top 5 Brain Freezes, hosted by "queen of the Internet" Cindy Margolis. #5 - Match Game - The contestant says computer programmer, while Brett Somers thought he says 'Peter Programmer'. Where is Brett Somers' mind during the show?

People aren't the only things that can malfunction. We see the money vault in the Australian version of $ale of the Century land on someone's head, an entertainment chest on The Price is Right that won't open, a cable on Match Game that drags Trish VanDevere under the table, a blown fuse on Super Password that stops the board from opening, and a parakeet on To Tell The Truth that's supposed to fly to his master, but winds up flying to a cameraman instead.

More Family Feud Fun - Something that you borrow from your partner? Shoes! A food that comes in instant form? Asparagus!

I've Got A Secret features someone who is going to blow up an inner tire tube with his mouth. Sure enough, he does it and it explodes as it knocks him down.

Match Game - The Big Bad Wolf said, 'I just came back from a house where the woman had the biggest (BLANKS) I ever saw'. Contestant's Answer - Boobs, which happens to match Brett Somers and Fannie Flagg. Gene, 'Speaking of bosoms, Fannie, won't you show us yours.' Oops.

We play an in-house version of Match Game with Kevin Meister, who's an internet programmer. Can he match the same number of stars or more that the contestant did? If he does, he wins CLR. The clue - 'Tarzan came home to find Jane in the arms of another man. He said - Me Tarzan, you (BLANK).' Kevin's Answer - Tramp. Contestant's answer - Dead Man. Rondell Sheridan's Answer - Dead Man. Vicki Lawrence's Answer - Tramp (DING!). Judy Tenuta's Answer - Slut (DING!). Nell Carter's Answer - Need a Lawyer (WRONG). Mario Lopez's Answer - Ho (DING!) Kevin gets 3 matches, so he wins the CLR!

Brain Freeze Moment #4 - Family Feud. Name a famous resort area outside the common area of the United States. Answer - Lake Tahoe. Eh.

We get more Match Game '98. 'Robby the Robot says that I got most of my points from a toy star. My eyes are made of marbles and my (BLANK) is a slinky.' Contestant's Answer - Wiener. Coolio's Answer - Johnson/Wiener/Third Leg

The Name's The Same. The man's name is A. Mattress. 'Is it possible that if I gave a party....' Robert Q. Lewis - 'Joanie, the answer is no'.

The Price is Right - Johnny calls down... Vanna White! Bob ogles Vanna, who never gets out of Contestant's Row. Awwww....

Match Game (Rayburn). 'Old Man Periwinkle says, I can never get a (BLANK) out of her.' Contestant - Rise.

The Price is Right (USA): The clock game, the price is $749. Contestant - $193 (Higher), $540 (Higher) $820 (Lower) $700 (Higher) $749. Wha? A stunned Bob has to sit down and says that they are in the presence of a miracle.

Distraction - We see another version of the contestants having to use the potty to ring in.

Child's Play - Romance is defined as something sickening and embarrassing. Dance is defined as something you'd after you kiss on a date and gets you pregnant. Tan is defined as what women in skimpy bathing suits do.

Brain Freeze Moment #3 - Norman Fell from 3's Company is asked if his wife would allow him to donate his sperm to science. Norman says that he gave at the office, and then he thinks that the host meant money.

To Tell the Truth - Bill Cullen disqualifies himself from guessing on a person who has a bird collection, because he was in the bathroom with the same person - and his bird. Uhhh...ok.

The Price is Right - Janice uses some major English spin to get the golf ball in the hole in The Hole in 1 Game.

Match Game - Michael Burger - 'Do you know any ugly people?' George Wallace - 'Yes, I know your mama. I can't really talk about your mama because I never met the man.'

Family Feud - Richard has to stop the show because one of the contestants has to use the bathroom.

The Price is Right (Australia), an overeager contestant squeals... a lot... to the point where she has to get water from the host. She never gets out of contestant's row, but she gets a huge 2 foot colander of water.

The Price is Right - We get another Clock Game moment, where the contestant first bets $83, then $105. The next contestant can't tell the difference between lower and higher, as it takes her 10 seconds to get from $780 to $788.

Distraction - The contestants have to answer questions - while being thrown around by wrestlers. The last contestant also has her butt spanked to finish the show.

Family Feud - Name something associated with the 3 bears. Answer - Little Red Riding Hood. Second Answer - The Woodchopper.

We go back to in-studio for another Beat the Clock stunt. Bonnie and Stacy have to guess phrases. The catch? Every time that Bonnie says a phrase, she has to stick a marshmallow in her mouth. She has to get 10 of them in 60 seconds, and if so, they win Barbasol. I can't get 10 marshmallows in my mouth, so I have no clue how they are going to do this. She gets 5 of them, but that's it and they don't win the shaving cream.

Brain Freeze moment #2 - Blankety Blank (UK) The question gets mispronounced. Instead of 'I'll never forget when he tripped over his laces', it gets read as 'I'll never forget when he tripped over his feces'.

Your Face or Mine - The audience votes on who looks better - the contestant or a person in a picture. We see the most lopsided votes from the audience for the person in the picture. Ouchy.

Family Feud - Name a day of the year that you want to be with friends. Answer - December. Name a car known by it's initials. Answer - Corvette. If you could travel to any country, where would you want to go? Answer - Pakistan. Name something that can kill a lively party. Answer - Gun. Name a part of the body that people dab perfume on. Answer - tongue. Name something you buy in a larger size if you have a larger family. Answer - Jeans. Name a reason why you would stay indoors on a beautiful day. Answer - because it's raining. Name something men wear to bed. Answer - Condoms.

Beat the Clock - we get a man who has to get a doll out of his overcoat (think the in-studio Beat the Clock game form last week). He has to do this in front of her daughter, who should know now where babies come from. Fortunately, he does it in time.

Distraction - If you get a question wrong, you get an electric shock. If you get it right, your opponents get a shock.

What's My Line - Mrs. Bruce is an African safari guide. Johnny Carson - 'I don't care what it is, I want it'.

The Number 1 Brain Freeze - Family Feud (of course). Name an article of clothing that kids are losing - Their pants. Name the price of roses - $1.75. Besides a bird, name something in a bird cage - Hamster. This comes from someone playing Fast Money (and no, they don't win the bonus).

With that, we are done with the show - and the series.

My Take? Sure, I can whine about how it feels like 40% of it is from Family Feud and the lack of originality, but based on the fact that they had limited material and the fact that they never repeated a direct clip (maybe a stunt, but not a clip), the producers did a very good job. Ben Stein held his own, and the most important part of the show (the clips themselves), were very entertaining. I taped all 5 shows and plan to keep them in my collection - and that says volumes. I hope we get another set, as this gets a solid B grade from me.

Until next time, this is Gordon Pepper. Thank you for reading these recaps.