"Episode 2" - April 19
In our first episode, the
National Team won the first 2 events, but got incredibly
sloppy and the American Team came back to win. Can the
Nationals bounce back from that mess? We find out as...
We start with the Tug-O-War. Does it sound familiar? It
should, because that's what they did on their last show.
Like last episode, there is a huge weight disparity, but
this time, it's the Nationals who are the light weights
and the Americans who are heavy. As a reminder, let's
see who is on the roster...
Americans -
Peyton Manning - Quarterback, and going up against daddy
Archie, who's coaching the Nationals.
Deion Branch - Wide Receiver
Byron Leftwich - Quarterback
Hines Ward - Wide Receiver
Takeo Spikes - Linebacker
Chad Johnson - Wide Receiver Troy Brown - Wide Receiver,
Defensive Back, Punt Returner, and whatever the heck
else he wants to play
Joey Porter - Outside Linebacker
Marvin Harrison - Wide Receiver
Donnie Edwards - Linebacker. Nice to see that he wasn't
too injured from the season to participate in this
competition.
And the Nationals -
Brian Dawkins - Freelance Safety
Laveranues Coles - Wide Receiver
Brian Westbrook - Running Back
Alge Crumpler - Tight End
Julius Jones - Running Back
Jason Witten - Tight End
Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila - Defensive End. I probably spelled
it wrong. No, I'm not saying that name fast 5 times.
Jeremiah Trotter - Middle Linebacker
Eli Manning - Quarterback, and apparently dad's favorite
son.
Joe Horn - Wide Receiver
The people playing this week are the ones who didn't
play last week - Leftwich, Ward, Spikes, Harrison and
Edwards for the Americans and Dawkins, Coles, Jones,
Witten and Biamila (no, I am NOT saying that whole last
name) for the Nationals. It doesn't really matter what
the line-up is - the Nationals wipe out the Americans
and they take the first game. (Nationals lead, 1-0, 3-3
tie overall).
Next up - the War Canoe! How does this work, you ask? 5
people paddle a war canoe twice across a water course.
The canoe was a huge fixture on the Battle shows in the
'70's, so why not bring it back? The key is navigating
the buoy and not capsizing - especially because Byron
can't swim. As the match starts, both canoes are close
until it comes to the first buoy. The Nationals have no
problems steering around the Buoy, while it looks like
the Americans want to steer the canoe to guam. The
Americans finally get themselves together, but not
before the Nationals have a 4 length lead on them.
While the Nationals turn around for their second leg,
the Americans are trying to ram the Nationals and
capsize them. No such luck. By the time that the
Americans get around for the second lap, the Nationals
are coming down the stretch as they easily win this one
(Nationals lead 2-0, 4-3 Overall).
Event #3 is the relay race. Byron Leftwich, who is a big
boy, will be running this event. He's a 240 pound
monster who says that he's pretty agile. Sure - when
he's not nursing a sore ankle. 'I'm not the slowest
quarterback in the NFL. I'm the slowest Black
quarterback in the NFL.' No comment.
Leg #1 - Leftwich Vs. Dawkins
Leg #2 - Harrison Vs. Witten
Leg #3 - Gbaja, etc. Vs. Edwards
Leg #4 - Coles Vs. Spikes
Leg #5 - Jones Vs. Ward
And they're off! Leftwich slips at the start, but still
has a lead. The lead is gone when Dawkins takes over as
the Nationals take the lead. Gbaja-Biamila maintains the
lead when he gives it to Coles, who extends his lead.
The last leg features Jones, who's trying to hold off a
charging Ward. He does so, as he holds off a tough spurt
from Ward, and he takes the win for the Nationals
(Nationals lead 3-0, 5-3 Overall).
The American League desperately needs to make up some
ground and win the obstacle course, or it will be a 5-0
sweep for the Nationals for a 7-3 lead overall. This
course is different from the one last episode - we have
the culverts, blocking sled and tires, but we also get a
high jump, slalom, basketball shot, monkey bars,
hurdles, a small pass, the over/unders and finally, the
wall. Everyone from both teams will run the whole
course, and the team that gets through it the quickest
(barring penalties) will win the event and 2 important
points.
It's not looking good for the Americans early - Coles
(N) is outpacing Harrison (A), but Coles misses the
basketball shot, which is results in a 5 second penalty.
Harrison doesn't, and he catches up to Coles when we get
to the wall. Harrison gets over the wall and wins, while
Harrison quits and tacks on a huge 15 second penalty to
his losing time. After the first round, Coles - 1:57.76m
while Harrison - 1:26.33
Heat #2 - Hines Ward (A) is up Vs. Biamila (N). Biamila
has to make up 30+ seconds worth of time, which isn't
going to happen early on. KBG makes his shot and Ward
doesn't, which opens up the door. Ward opens up the door
even more as he misses his catch and also doesn't make
it to the wall, while K B-G gets over in 1:33.65 War's
time? 2:05.23. Yick.
Heat #3 - Witten (N) goes up against Leftwich (A) as the
Americans look to extend the lead. Witten plows through
the high jump instead of jumping it, so it's a 5 second
penalty. It's all neck and neck to the wall, and both of
them run out of gas. They both quit and Leftwich
(1:54.83) barely wins by over Witten (1:55.98).
Heat #4 - Jones (N) Vs. Spikes (A). Both of them run a
clean game. It comes down, once again, to the wall.
Jones gets their first, and struggles to get there, but
he manages to do it in 1:27.83. Spikes gives up - but he
gives up without trying to get up the wall, and that's a
massive 15 second penalty for 1:46.8. The ref tells
Spikes this and he yells at referee Bob MacElwy.
Heat #5 - Edwards (A) Vs... No one? Apparently, Dawkins
is injured (someone call his agent) so the Americans can
drop their lowest time. Hence, Edwards needs to finish
this in 1:47.25 to win it. Dawkins knows that a smooth
error-free race will win it, but he doesn't get over the
high jump and takes a 5 second penalty. This forces
Edwards to make the lay-up (which he does) and get over
the wall - which he does. The final time is 1:45.90,
which is barely enough time to win it - but win it, he
does.
The Americans win the event and get a much needed 2
points. However, despite the American's win here, the
Nationals win the night 3-2 and tie everything up at
5-5.
Next Week - We go golfing and the Manning brothers go at
it again. Join us in 7 days to see the balls - and fur -
fly. |