Have you ever woken up in the middle of
the night wondering which D-List celeb really should have their own
No? Really? I thought Kathy Griffin was reading this…
Well, for those of you who are willing to play along Fox Reality is
ready to take you for a ride. They swept 7 celebs fresh from the Really
Awards, packed them into a limo like sardines and they have pitted them
against each other in gladiatorial combat for your viewing pleasure.
Let’s meet our Celebs!
From American Idol Season 1, Ryan Starr!
Everyone’s favorite little sister, straight from the Brady Bunch it’s
Baywatch babe, Traci Bingham!
Freshly freed from Danny’s Partridge Prison, Gretchen Bonaduce!
Fit Clubber and Gossip Hound, A.J. Benza!
The man who lived to see O.J. go to jail, Kato Kaelin!
...and the gift left to America by Anna Nicole, Bobby Trendy!
So now that I have run out of exclamation points… George Gray, from the
Weakest Link and Extreme Gong greets the Celebes with their first
challenge. A Dating game style quizzer for first pick of production
Who thinks Gretchen is most likely to sneak away from competition for a
little botox as her face is frozen in time?
The answers are across the board, but the person who said it was Bobby
Trendy. A.J. Benza scores the lone correct response.
Who wants to see Bobby Trendy and A.J. in a cage fight? Most are split
between Ryan and Susan, but it was Ryan. Traci and Susan score.
Who said Ryan is in dire need of a makeover because she is “too 80s?”
It’s 3 Katos vs. 44 Bobbys and the Bobbys have it right. Gretchen, Ryan,
Susan and Kato score.
After a slew of other questions here are your final scores:
1. Susan Olsen - 10 pts
2. A.J. Benza - 9 pts
3. Gretchen Bonaduce - 8 pts
4. Kato Kaelin - 7 pts
5. Ryan Starr - 6 pts
6. Traci Bingham - 5 pts
7. Bobby Trendy - 3 pts
So Susan gets first dibs on offices and edit times and after the tour,
we realize the value of her power. The office span from large and
luxurious down to a small desk in the kitchen/break area.
Susan being the sweet woman that she is decides she will let people pick
office in the order they finished the challenge, but then she herself
leaves the biggest office on the table opting for the medium sized
AJ passes on the big office and Gretchen in 3rd actually selects the
kitchen. Kato Kaelin ends up with the largest office of all. Go figure…
The celebs end day one by picking 1 pro reality staffer and 1 intern to
work on their staff and with that the game is officially on.
Welcome to the Viral Video Challenge. Each team will have 3 hrs to tape,
2 hrs to edit and will be scored by number of hits and creativity. At
the end of the challenge, 1 celeb will be eliminated.
After the painstaking production process. We meet the judges. Reality
producer Scott Sternberg, “Variety” TV Editor Michael Schneider, and
reality TV veteran Adrienne Curry.
Ryan Starr - She and two of her friends parade around in skimpy bikinis
washing a Bentley, but viewers get a nasty surprise once their faces are
Traci Bingham - It’s Traci and the twins (and no I don’t mean fraternal,
even though they are surgically identical). Oh, and she plays dress-up.
AJ Benza - Have you ever wanted to see AJ Benza shot dead? Yeah, he
thought so too.
Gretchen Bonaduce - Welcome to Gretchen’s world a place full of female
empowerment and independence (with a smattering of lingerie)
Susan Olsen - Bob Barker has been saying it for years, but Susan takes
being responsible with cats to a whole new level. Moobs included.
Bobby Trendy - It’s Trendy, It’s Bobby and It’s Fabulous. He’s so
outrageous (and poorly shot)
Kato Kaelin - The man, the myth, the mystery. He staffs his office with
a bikini clad secretary and simply plays Joe Cool (camel like
spokesperson not included).
Remember, if you want to see the videos in their entirety you can go to
And now the judges comments…
Ryan - they loved the first 60 seconds, but the buck teeth need to hit
the trash can. Of course, America didn’t care. They saw 3 girls in
bikinis and made Ryan the 2nd most watched clip in the herd. Ryan is
still in production.
Kato - Adrienne always thought he was a douche, but now thinks Kato
might be an interesting douche. With 1st place in viewership, maybe Kato
should get sponsored by Summer’s Eve. Kato is still in production.
Gretchen - The judges thought that Gretchen’s video was to busy and that
her energy level left something to be desired. That said, Gretchen’s
lingerie shots must have gotten her by because Gretchen is still in
Bobby - Scott and Michael were disappointed in the technical aspects of
his video and while Bobby’s many outfit changes were intriguing, they
felt the video fell flat. So did America and Bobby is in the bottom two.
Traci - If Gretchen got by with a little lingerie, Traci has to be safe
based on her veritable full monty. Adrienne was sold once she saw
Traci’s “nippage” Traci is still in production
That leaves Susan and AJ with one of them needing to join Bobby in the
Susan - The judges appreciated her idea but think it needs a major
re-write to work within the 90 second time frame. Could Sweet Cindy
Brady be gone on the first show?
AJ - For a murder, Adrienne was disappointed in the less than liberal
usage of blood. The judges wanted more sensationalism. Could AJ soon be
The celeb joining Bobby is…
Going to be announced after the break.
See this is why your parents tried to get you into reading. No
The celebrity joining Bobby is… AJ Benza.
Susan Olsen is still in production.
And now for the elimination. In order to determine who goes home, Bobby
and AJ will compete in a best of three game of Rock Paper Scissors. Then
they will race across the hand bike up the pyramid, across the big balls
and finally arrive at Tribal council where they will have to get on the
scale and try not to fall below the yellow line.
What? There’s no big drag out brawl? Well surely there is at least going
to be a vote-out right?
Bobby, your show isn’t being picked up.
Just like that, fabulous has left the building.
A straight up elimination. Go figure. Kind of refreshing actually.
That wraps up Gimme My Reality Show. Next week TWO celebs will bite the
dust and prepare for a dual election on November 4th because right after
you vote for president you can vote for “Gimme’s” winner. Remember, only
you can prevent another clone of Laguna Beach.
Vote or Die! And see you next time.