"Make the Best of Things" -
December 1
Last time, Skipper Bob and Professor Eric were the
first exiled out of the game. Not long after that, the
castaways learned that the fate of the Mary Anns (Kate
and Amanda) would soon be sealed as well.
While Amanda and Skipper
Jim chow down on Listerine PocketPacks (because they
naturally had those on the original GI), movie star
Rachel comes in on her broomstick. Speaking of which,
Millionaires Bill & Donna Beavens emerge from their hut
to Gilligan Gooner calling the missus a bad case of
hemorrhoids. Donna can't answer a simple question
(do you cook) without going on a long-ass tirade about
family and such. So we'll just tune her out now.
Kate goes for what could
be her last visit with Gilligan Chris. She's not
nervous, putting her trust in her team. Chris seems to
be smitten with Kate. He doesn't want to see her go.
Neither does the rest of the team, who has a meeting to
find out what they're going to do to try to keep Kate in
the game. They notice that Minnow Gold is really pumped
while Minnow Green is less so.
They're still at it
about the cooking thing.
"Attention castaways...
Mary Ann, you're as sweet as coconut cream pie. But only
one of you will survive the next crackdown. Gather your
teams and meet under the big palm tree for the next
head-to-head competition."
Both Mary Anns are
composed and confident. "Whoever God wants to stay here
is going to stay here," Amanda says.
The challenge: a race to
make coconut cream pies. To do that, they have to have a
lot of coconut milk. To do that, they have to have a lot
of coconuts. The teams will try to knock down coconuts
in order to fill five cups worth of coconut milk. The
team that does that first will keep their Mary Ann on
the island AND get a chest of coconut cream pies. Kate
chooses Chris and Millionaire Glenn to help. Amanda
chooses Jim and Gooner.
I'm betting on Kate to
win this one. Amanda pulls ahead to the point where she
has time to take a drink. Kate has an idea, though, as
she cracks a coconut, waits for it to drain, and then
cracks another. Will it work? Yep. Kate stays, joining
Jim and Prof. Pat in the final 7, while Amanda, by an
ever so close margin, is banished to the other side of
the island. "This one hurts," Movie star Nicole says.
Back at camp... It's pie
for everyone wearing gold! And coconuts for everyone
wearing green. Donna... is taking it the usual way.
Meanwhile, the green team takes their pie into the
professor's hut, where Chris feeds Kate a piece.
Meanwhile on the beach,
Nicole, Bill, and Donna are playing sour grapes,
thinking that they're the real people. I hate to say it,
but "You lost! It's over! Get over it!" Nicole leaves
the conversation just as Gooner was walking into it.
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!" My sentiments
exactly.
That night, Pat and Kate
are off to the Voodoo Village to find out who's next...
It's the millionaires. Millionaire Mindy's ready for it.
Donna thinks, "It's time to go, Mindy."
Next day, Mindy prepares
her best crow and baby imitations to psych her
competition out. Nicole, on the other hand, is fighting
to stay conscious, while Gooner thinks he could eat a
buffalo's ass right now. Rachel puts team loyalties
aside to help Gooner out with his lack of food
situation. They find some kiwis for the entire camp.
The castaways assemble
for a kiwi fest. While Rachel determines that Gooner and
Nicole need an apple more than anything, Donna
determines that she'll just take it for herself.
Then comes the rain.
Mindy sees it as a good luck omen.
"Attention castaways...
It's time for your next competition. Millionaires, you
have a taste for the finer things, but do you have the
stomachs to earn them?"
Today, we eat at the
picnic tables, and Millionaires are dressed to kill...
each other. The challenge: run up a high dinner tab by
eating various delicacies. The team that rings up the
highest tab will keep their millionaires on the island
and a martini bar. On the menu: Lobster tail ($5), Egg
salad made from the eggs of quail, ants and flies ($25),
wild boar brains ($50), chicken feet & rectum ($50),
wild boar heart ($50), boar testicles ($50), bee larvae
($100), and worms ($100).
Both Gilligans take the
bee larva. The Gingers take $100 plates, but only Rache
finishes hers. Jim vs. Pat on the $50 dishes... and Jim
wins. KAte gets brains while Nicole eats lobster tails.
Both wins. Now the Millionaires have 30 minutes to down
numerous dishes. In the end, Minnow Gold: $575. Minnow
Green: $355. So Glenn & Mindy remain as the
Millionaires, joining Kate, Pat, and Jim in the final
seven, while Bill & Donna, quite deservedly, are off to
the other side of the island.
"I will never eat those
things again," says Mindy. "I will do whatever it takes
to win again," says Glenn.
Donna's parting shot:
"Nobody likes to lose, but winners lose." My response:
"No, Donna. Winners win. That's why they're called
'winners'. Now go off to the losers' bench, loser." As
for the Gold Team, they return to a martini bar and a
hot tub. And Kate is "ready to have a good time." Mindy
notices that Kate and Chris were getting ready to have a
good time, "especially with the alcohol involved".
Gooner, meanwhile, is
taking the loss hard, as it's the third loss in a row.
The remnants of Minnow Green take a rotten banana and
some kiwi and turn it into something palatable, while
Minnow Gold takes a bit of a dip.
In the huts, Chris &
Kate make a strategic alliance. Meanwhile, Glenn & Mindy
go into the Voodoo Village to take back a dollie... of
Ginger. Nicole wants to be part of the final seven.
Rachel wants to be part of the final seven. Only one of
you can be in the final seven. Which one? You'll find
out next time.
But right now, Chris and
Kate share yet another tender moment. Excuse me.. I have
to giggle on that. |