Fire Me... Please!
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Two players have until 3pm to get a pink slip on the only game show where whoever gets the sack gets the jack!

Recaps by Gordon Pepper, GSNN


Dave Holmes
Creator: Hugh Rycroft (based upon "The Sack Race")
EP: Eric Schotz, Bill Paolantonio, Colin Jarvis, Robin Meltzer
Packager: BBC, LMNO Productions
Airs: Tuesdays at 9pm ET on CBS

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"She's Like School on Sunday... No Class" - June 14

We're up for another round of Fire Me, Please, where two comedia....I mean regular people compete against each other for $25,000. And they are...

Contestant #1 - Cat Reitman - A student from Los Angeles, CA. She will be going to a clothing boutique called 'Blush' to see how well she can make everyone do the same.

Contestant #2 - Dave Hill - A teacher originally from Chicago, IL. Dave is going to try to bean everyone at a coffee shop.

Do they have that much turnover at coffee shops and clothing boutiques that they have to hire people waiting to get fired. If you've been to any major boutique or coffee shop, you know the answer to this one.

Cat's boss is Adrienne, who's a neat freak. She hates dirty people who are 'style-challenged'. Cat starts by leaving her stuff in a messy heap in the back and then keeps saying 'blamm-o' when tagging the prices on the clothing.

Dave gets to work at 'Romancing the Bean'. The Boss is T.A., who loves to chat - but not during business hours. She also hates laziness. Dave's co-workers are Greg and Amelia, who get to hear him complain to T.A. about the shift rules - and his shift hasn't even started. He hasn't started to study the menu, and he asks if he is going to be quizzed on it. It turns out that he is, and he gets every question wrong. T.A. sends him to study the menu some more, but he decides that the local newspaper is a much better read instead. This is already...

9:45 am - and Cat is singing 'Good Vibrations' (off-key) while working. Her boss is looking concerned.

10:15 am - Dave is getting his next quiz - and getting it wrong. He toasts to his first day on the job - and uses real wine.

Cat starts to meet the customers, and asks them if they want to purchase a jumpsuit. She wants to get each patron to purchase a jumpsuit, then ask if they ever get into fights.

Dave talks to Greg about his love-life, and calls him 'sly dog Greg'. T.A. is watching this and making notes.

Cat takes her lunch break. Her co-workers are convinced that she's on drugs and make fun about her attempts to sell the jumpsuit. They are also concerned that they are going to get fired due to her incompetency and they plot to get rid of her. That's great for Cat - except it's way too soon in the game. Adrienne pulls her over and gives her a warning on it, and Cat responds by saying that she'll get her act together - and use Adrienne as the role model.

Dave is learning how to use the cash register. He says the cash register guy (Mr. Pibb) reminds him of his grandfather that he lost 2 years ago, and he's going to get a drink to settle himself. He needs another...and another...and by this time, Greg is so bored that he's the one doing calisthenics.

Cat is hooking up clothes to the ceiling and singing the Ringling Brother's theme.

Dave talks to T.A. about her fiance. He keeps talking to her while the customers are piling up. Greg tries to get his attention twice, but to no avail and T.A. has to yell at him to get back into it. He asks T.A. if he can go get something to eat, and she responds that if he wants to do that, then he's done for the day. Uh-oh. That's going to be way too early. Dave asks for another chance, and he gets it - barely. Off that, he runs to get another drink.

Cat is doing work with Adrienne - and then sneezes on her. She follows that up by sneezing on a pile of sweaters.

1:15 pm - Cat is sniffing her armpits while everyone else is working. Dave is out having a drink while everyone else is working. He also notes that T.A. is looking at pictures and isn't working either.

2:15 pm - Cat is tapping her pencil on the glass table, which is annoying everyone.

2:30 pm - T.A. talks to Dave - and she's had enough. He raises his voice and argues with her. She says to him to shut his mouth or leave. Dave asks if that means he's being fired. T.A. Oops. It's going to take more than that to get him sacked.

What about singing in the store - loudly? It's not Dave that's doing it, it's Cat. The co-workers insist that she's insane, and they plead with her to call up her boss and explain it to her.

Dave, realizing that he's on the clock, goes back to chat with T.A., insisting that he doesn't want to go through this again the next day. She breaks the news to him that he's fired, and he leaves at 2:39 pm. Cat now has 21 minutes to get the pink slip for the cash.

Make it 12 minutes, as we now fast-forward to 2:48 pm. Cat says that she is pent up with energy, and to release it, she sings 'Getting to Know You'. Adrienne tells her to take it outside, and she says that she can't, and continues to sing. It's 2:51 pm, and she tells her boss that if she goes back in there, she's going to sing, adding that it's something that she has to do and she thinks it would create a better environment. That's enough for Adrienne, who fires her and gets a hug from Cat.

It's time for the moment of truth. Dave says that the people that he worked with were nice. Cat, who said that her teammates learned a lesson, got fired at...2:52 pm. She gets the win and the $25,000, which was frustrating to Dave, because he thought that it was going to be tough enough to get fired.

Time for game #2...

Contestant #1 - Marion Oberle - A Sales Director from Los Angeles, CA. She has long black hair (think Morticia Adams) and will be xeroxing her chaos at a Copy store.

Contestant #2 - Rob Little - an internet Developer from Detroit, MI. Unlike Marion, Rob has almost no light brown hair and wants to make his boss's hair at the 'Firehouse Barbecue' fall off.

Rob's co-worker is 'Cowboy' and the boss is 'Torch', who demands perfection and takes his job seriously. Rob wants a nickname, too. What about hack? Torch admits that he's a redneck and loves NASCAR, and Rob immediately talks on how much he hates it. He them talks about how Auto Racing should be an Olympic sport, like bug-spitting, because all Rednecks do that.

Ok, I have figured 2 things out -

1. Rob is certainly a comedian in disguise.
2. There's a reason why he is on this show instead of being a full-time comedian.

Marion is on her way to 'Copy Copy' as she sings herself to work. Cheryl is the boss, and she hates to be corrected and loves to smoke. Connie is her co-worker, who is watching is amusement as Cheryl unsuccessfully tries to show Marion how to use the xerox machine. She starts singing '100 Copies' as she works on her first order.

Ok, I have figured 2 more things out -

1. Marion is certainly an actress in disguise.
2. There's a reason why she is on this show instead of being a full-time performer.

Rob drinks the coffee, and then spits it out all over the place, claiming that people lose their sense of taste when they move down south. The coffee really starts to disagree with him, as he asks to use the restroom. He gets inside, and then makes moaning noises in the bathroom as he goes.

Marion decides to have a pretzel party to boost morale, but the party is over when she leaves pretzels strewn all over the office. When she deals with her first customer, she belches at him while going to collect the copies. Marion was to fill out a W4 form - and she reads it out loud for everyone to hear while she is filling this out. She sings some more while filling out the form, which has her co-workers starting to talk. It continues when she says that she filled out the wrong form. Oops.

Rob is opening up a can of grub and says the smell is making him sick. Back to the bathroom he goes...and then while making food, he tells Torch that he forgot to wash his hands while in the bathroom. Ewwwwww.

11:30 am - Rob has his first experience with an electric plug, and he screams as he gets shocked. Marion has her first experience with a phone, and she munches pretzels while she is on the phone. To add to it, she drops pretzels on the phone and crunches the pretzels into the rug.

Rob gets into country as e sings his own song called 'I'm a Redneck'. Torch tells him that there's nothing wrong with country, but Rob says that he should enjoy it because he's a redneck, adding that since he burns easily, if he keeps working under the lights, he'll have a red neck himself.

Marion takes her lunch hour (adding to avoid going into the bathroom - yuck), and Cheryl and Connie find the mess that she made in the back room. Cheryl winds up vacuuming it up, and as Connie sings her way back into the store, we find that she brought more pretzels.

12:20 pm - Rob cleans up some tables - then reads a newspaper in the back. Torch spots this and tells Cowboy to send him home. After some pleading from Rob, they give him a new nickname - 'Dish Bitch', as he is sent to work there for the rest of the day.

Marion reads the training manual - out loud, She complains about Connie to Cheryl, and then adds that the cigarettes are adding to the dump-like atmosphere in the place. After confiding in Cheryl, she starts to drone out the word 'copy' every time a xerox is coming up. Cheryl retreats to the back and whips out another cigarette.

2:00 pm - A customer asks Rob what the best side dish is, and he says that he doesn't like any of it. Torch is right behind him. Meanwhile, as there are no customers in the copy store, Marion is singing the boring song and then lies down on the floor while continuing to sing.

2:25 pm - Torch is showing Rob how to prepare food - and then Rob walks off. Torch wants to know where Rob is. He comes back and then when Rob tries to yell at him, Rob walks away again. That's enough for Torch, and he fires Rob at 2:30 pm.

That leaves 30 minutes for Marion to get canned. She starts reading the greeting cards and talks to the customers about it. She is told to create a sign to attract people. She goes outside and yells for customers, and while she's doing that, her co-workers are wondering about her. Marion comes back and wonders if the store should be selling something else. Cheryl decides that Marion should be working somewhere else, and she gets fired. Marion thanks Cheryl, and tells her to keep the pretzels.

Did she get fired quickly enough. Rob, as we know, got fired at 2:30. Marion got fired at...3:10. Rob goes nuts and hugs host Dave Brown. Rob says that he actually liked NASCAR, os it was tough. Marion treats us with a reprise of the boring song.

We end the show with the reactions. Torch can only bury his head in his hands, as does Cheryl. Cat gets greeted with hugs, while T.A. panics when Dave emerges. T.A. fires him again - and orders him out of the store.

This week, we brought out a news column that showed you that these 'regular' people are actually performers who have had credits on and elsewhere. I am still looking for the entertaining ones. Join us in 7 days to see if we find any of those in the next episodes.

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