It's time once again for another round of the second tournament of CELEBRITY POKER SHOWDOWN, the charity tournament with BIG stakes!  There will be five games of five celebs each, with the winner of each game advancing to the Final Table and a big piece of the $250,000 Cingular Wireless(TM) Prize Pool for his/her charity.

Tonight, we have one returning loser competing with four new players:


Michael Ian Black
playing for Endeavor House
He bombed terribly last year, but this Ed and former Viva Variety star is back for more punishment.  Will this be the "Wet Hot American Summer" where he wins...or will his hopes and dreams be bowled over again?

Star Jones
playing for East Harlem School at Exodus House
This attorney is known for one thing and one thing only: for bantering with Joy Behar and Barbara Walters on The View every weekday.  Will her star rise, or his her view bleak?

Norm MacDonald
playing for the Hole In the Wall Gang
This WPT Hollywood Home Game alumnus is also a comedian, an SNL alumnus and the voice of "Lucky" in both "Dr. Doolittle" remakes.  Will he be lucky tonight...or is he "Screwed"?

Adam Rodriguez
playing for VH1's Save the Music Foundation
After several small starring roles in TV series, Adam's found a niche as Eric Delko in the hit CSI: Miami.  Can he investigate the others enough to win...or is he better off escaping to Roswell?

Jeremy Sisto
playing for the Linden Center
After playing the title role in the CBS mini-series Jesus, Jeremy decided to go with staying-dead guys as Billy Chenowith on HBO's Six Feet Under.  Will he perform a miracle and win...or is he already dead money?

Each celebrity will start with $10,000 worth of chips and the game will continue until one celebrity has all $50K in his/her possession, thus making him/her eligible for the Final Table later in the year.  At the announcers' position beside the Losers' Lounge are new host Dave Foley and poker expert (and recent WPT champion) Phil Gordon.  They'll be calling the action emanating from the main room.

All right, enough of this.  As Tournament Director Robert Thompson says. let's SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL!

Initial blinds are $100 (SB) and $200 (BB).  The Dealer Button (D) starts on Norm.

(And...don't get used to seeing these five here.  Because, as the advertisements told us, ONE of them is going to the Losers' Lounge on this VERY FIRST HAND!)

StarAdamNorm (D)Michael (SB)Jeremy (BB)
A♠ 3♠ Q♦ 10♣ K♦ J♠ A♣ 10♠ 9♣ 8♠
Calls $200 Raises to $500 Calls $500 FOLD FOLD
Calls $300
FLOP: J♥ K♥ Q♠
Michael would have flopped Broadway (Ace-high straight) had he stayed in.  Norm's flopped two pair and Adam has an open-ended straight draw.  Star has a one-card straight draw, needing a 10.
CHECK Bets $1000 Raises to $3000
FOLD Raises to $5000 Calls $2000
When someone bets heavily with a draw, they're said to be "on the come".  Still, that's a lot to bet, especially when only four cards left in the deck can make his straight.
TURN: 7♦
Bets $500 Calls $500
Here, Adam should've KNOWN Norm had a killer hand, certainly more than his "mermaid catchers" ("ladies on hooks", my own little term).  And, yet,...
Q♦ Q♠ J♥ J♣ K♥ J♠ J♥ J♣ K♦ K♥
OUT! - 5th Place WIN $20,800
All Phil can say at this point: "That was some very crappy playing!"

So a stunned Adam, claiming to the very end that he did the right thing (and he's the ONLY one who thinks that), heads for the Losers' Lounge to meet Dave and Phil. Dave informs Adam that he's made history: the first CPS player to bust out on the VERY FIRST HAND!  Phil goes over everything Adam did wrong: he underbet, then he checked, then he went all-in against a hand he should have KNOWN was superior.  Ah, least Save the Music gets $5000 for Adam's one hand.  Adam says, "It's like the first time I had sex; it's great but it's over already?"  And Dave gives the reply of the night...if not the whole series: "You prematurely ejaculated your chips all over Norm."

Norm MacDonald$20,800
Michael Ian Black$9900
Adam Rodriguez$9800
Star Jones$9500

NormMichael (D)Jeremy (SB)Star (BB)
10♠ 7♥ 9♥ 3♠ K♦ J♦ A♥ 6♥
FOLD FOLD Raises to $400 Calls $200
FLOP: 3♣ 9♠ 6♣
Again, Michael would've flopped a good hand (two pair) had he stayed in.  But, really, who WOULD stay in with a "Jack Benny" (3-9)?
Bets $600 Calls $600
TURN: 6♠
Star has the Devil's Hand (6-6-6)!
CHECK Bets $1000
WIN $3000

JeremyStar (D)Norm (SB)Michael (BB)
9♥ 4♣ 5♠ 3♥ Q♠ Q♦ 10♦ 2♥
FLOP: 8 5♦ 2♦
As Norm ponders, Michaels says, "I have eight-five-deuce...I flopped three pair."  He'd later say he didn't.
CHECK Bets $400
Raises to $1400 FOLD
WIN $2200

Norm MacDonald$23,800
Michael Ian Black$9900
Jeremy Sisto$8400
Star Jones$7900

Blinds go up during a tournament; at this point, they are up to $200 (SB) and $400 (BB).
JeremyStar (D)Norm (SB)Michael (BB)
7♥ 3♥ K♥ 3♠ A♠ 5♥ 9♦ 7
FOLD Calls $400 Calls $200 CHECK
FLOP: 8♥ 9♠ 10♥
Michael has a pair and an open-ended straight draw...while Norm has bubkis.
Bets $2000 Calls $2000
TURN: 5♣
NOW Norm has something...but it's not any better than Michael's hand right now.  Norm needs an Ace of a 5 to beat Michael.
COMMUNITY: J♦ 10♥ 9♠ 8♥ 5♣
CHECK Bets $2000
WIN $7200

NormMichael (D)Jeremy (SB)Star (BB)
Q♦ J♣ 5♠ 3♦ A♥ A♣ 7♣ 4♦
Raises to $1800 FOLD ALL-IN
WIN $9200
Jeremy over-played that.  Though it's tempting to go all-in with the best hand in poker, it's best to lay low and bet a little, trapping your opponent into thinking you're weak.

Blinds are now up to $300 (SB) and $600 (BB).

And, now, it's time to play HOW WOULD YOU PLAY IT?  We will expose Jeremy's hand and ONLY Jeremy's hand to see if you can figure out how best to play this hand.

MichaelJeremy (D)Star (SB)Norm (BB)
????? A♠ 10♦ ????? ?????
Raises to $1800 Calls $1800 FOLD FOLD
Michael raised big right out of the gate.  That could mean an Ace-high, a wired pair...or a stone bluff to scare everyone out.  But "you" (as Jeremy) feel "you" have a decent hand for "you" call.
FLOP: 6♣ A♦ 9♥
"You" have flopped a pair of Aces...ALWAYS good to have heads-up like this.  PLUS, "you" get to wait to see what Michael does before "you" "you" can see how strong a hand he has or MAY have. 
Bets $2000 Calls $2000
Michael makes another strong bet.  "You" are worried about Michael having an Ace with a face card or a 10; a strong bet like that most likely means HE has a pair of Aces as well.  "You" have to decide whether or not "you" think "your" hand is still good enough.  Jeremy decides to call and see what happens.
TURN: 4♥
Bets $8600
Michael bets all his chips but one (the one he accidentally had on his hand to keep the cards from being peeked at).  It's likely he would've gone all-in had he remembered that chip.  He even pushed the chips in a split-second after the 4 was placed.  Either he's trying to buy the pot with a crap hand...or he just turned two pair.  After mulling it over, "you" decide it's not worth risking most of "your" "you" fold.
WIN $17,100
And it's a good thing Jeremy folded, too.  Michael had A♣ 4♦; he DID make two pair!

JeremyStar (D)Norm (SB)Michael (BB)
7♥ 6♥ J♠ 4♠ K♦ 5♦ 5♣ 4♣
Calls $600 Calls $600 Calls $300 CHECK
Well, at least all four suits are accounted for.
FLOP: 4♦ 2♣ Q♠
Men's Warehouse: three suits, no waiting.  Nobody can get a flush, but Star and Michael have pairs of 4s.
Bets $600 FOLD
FOLD Calls $600
Now Norm has Kings.
Bets $600
Calls $600
COMMUNITY: K♥ Q♠ 4♦ 3♥ 2♣
Bets $600
Calls $600
4♠ 4♦ K♥ Q♠ J♠ K♦ K♥ Q♠ 5♦ 4♦
WIN $6000
Though Norm didn't win much from Star, it's likely $1200 more than what he would've won had he bet bigger.  Betting the minimum after the Turn and River was great strategy.

Norm MacDonald$25,900
Michael Ian Black$14,500
Jeremy Sisto$6800
Star Jones$2800

JeremyStar (D)Norm (SB)Michael (BB)
A♥ 8♣ A♠ J♣ 7♥ 7♣ 9♦ 4♠
Calls $600 Raises to $1500 FOLD FOLD
As Jeremy ponders a re-raise, Star compliments on his "whacked" character on Six Feet Under.
FLOP: A♣ 6♠ 5♥
Both have flopped Aces...
Star now has TWO pair...and Jeremy is drawing dead.  Star has doubled-up.
A♥ A♣ 8♣ 8♦ J♥ A♠ A♣ J♣ J♥ 8♦
WIN $6500

Hand 14

NormMichael (D)Jeremy (SB)Star (BB)
Q♥ 2♦ 8♦ 3♣ J♣ 9♥ K♦ 7♣
Calls $3800
Star is a slight favorite...
FLOP: 5♥ 9♣ 6♣
...until the Flop.  Jeremy's "German virgin" can only be beaten by a King or an 8 for Star.
9♥ 9♣ Q♣ J♣ 6♣ K♦ Q♣ 9♣ 7♣ 6♣
WIN $8800

Blinds have gone up to $400 (SB) and $800 (BB).
NormMichael (D)Jeremy (SB)Star (BB)
A♣ 9♦ Q♥ 3♥ J♥ 6♣ A♦ J♦
Raises to $1600 FOLD FOLD ALL-IN
Calls $100
Before the betting starts, everyone asks if they "remember Adam" and wonder what he's up to.
FLOP: 9♠ 10♣ 5♣
Norm flopped a second 9...
TURN: 9♣
...then turned a third!  Star is drawing dead...and is out of the tournament
9♦ 9♠ 9♣ A♣ K♥ 9♠ 9♣ A♦ K♥ J♦
WIN $3800 OUT - 4th Place

So, at last, Adam has some company.  Star sings that Adam's "lonely days are over" as she hugs him in the Lounge.  Phil says he was proud of her following his advice of betting big when it's a "good blackjack hand" (though Adam wonders why Phil wasn't impressed with HIS playing of a blackjack "20").  Star tells Adam, "Whenever boys play 'whose is bigger', it's stupid."  The East Harlem School gets $5000 for her participation...and we head back to the action.

Blinds have gone up again (a lot of un-televised hands have gone by); they're now $500 (SB) and $1000 (BB).

Norm (D)Michael (SB)Jeremy (BB)
K♣ Q♣ A♥ 5♣ K♠ 6♠
Raises to $3000 ALL-IN
WIN $12,700
Michael ALSO added a $100 bill AND his room key.  Michael and Jeremy stand up to stretch as Norm ponders...and Dave joins them.  Norm flips over the card and, since he didn't put in any chips beforehand, it means he folds.

Norm MacDonald$33,700
Jeremy Sisto$8600
Michael Ian Black$7700

Jeremy (D)Norm (SB)Michael (BB)
K♠ 8♠ 7♠ 5♥ Q♦ 2♦
Calls $1000 FOLD CHECK
FLOP: 3♦ 5♠ 2♠
Bets $3000 ALL-IN
Calls $3700
After betting the $3000, Jeremy looks right at Michael...while he had looked away when he had Aces.  This "tell" gives Michael all the incentive needed to go all-in...even with a pair of deuces against a flush draw.
5♠ 4♥ 3♦ 2♠ A♥ 5♠ 4♥ 3♦ 2♦ A♥
WIN $7900 WIN $8000
The Board has the best hand: the "wheel" (5-high straight).  Therefore, the pot is split.  Since there are no $50 chips, Michael gets the extra $100 chip for being after the Dealer Button.

Blinds are now up to $1000 (SB) and $2000 (BB).
Norm (D)Michael (SB)Jeremy (BB)
A♥ 10♦ 9♦ 7♠ 4♣ 4♦
Calls $4000 FOLD ALL-IN
Calls $7800
It's a coin flip at this point.  A low pair vs. two overcards is nearly impossible to predict.
FLOP: J♦ 10♠ J♥
Ouch!  Both Norm and Jeremy flopped two pair, but Norm's Jacks and 10s beat out Jeremy's 10s and 4s.  Jeremy needs a 4 to make a full house and stay alive.
TURN: 3♥
J♦ J♥ 10♠ 10♦ A♥ J♦ J♥ 4♣ 4♦ 10♠
WIN $24,600 OUT - 3rd Place

With a heartfelt "Sorry, kids," Jeremy retreats to the Losers' Lounge with Star, Adam and Dave.  Jeremy thinks he made a bad move, but no one else does.  He then says he'll win a million in the casinos and donate $100,000 to his charity.  Said charity, Linden Center, gets $5000 from the third straight person Norm has knocked out!  What's more, Dave probably lost money himself since he had PICKED Jeremy to win (Phil picked Michael).

So it's down to the two comedians going HEADS UP against each other for the silver chip and the entry into the Final Table!  So let's SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL!

Norm MacDonald$30,000
Michael Ian Black$20,000

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
K♦ Q♦ J♠ Q♦
Raises to $8000 Calls $6000
FLOP: 9♠ 8♣ 7♥
WIN $38,000

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
7♣ 5♠ Q♥ 10♣
WIN $10,000
Norm had a strong hand...but didn't care to double Michael up.  Still, Michael picked up the $2000 blind from Norm.

Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
A♦ Q♦ 7♦ 2♦
Calls $1000 CHECK
FLOP: 5♠ K♣ 3♥
TURN: 2♠
COMMUNITY: K♣ 9♣ 5♠ 3♥ 2♠
Bets $5500 FOLD
WIN $9500
Obviously, Michael is likewise playing tight.  He had the best hand...but even the PROS would think twice about someone betting into their deuces.

Blinds are up yet again; now they are $3000 (SB) and $5000 (BB).
Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
9♣ 6♦ Q♣ 9♠
Calls $2000 ALL-IN
WIN $18,000

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
A♥ 8♠ ?????
WIN $23,000
Michael even threw in an autographed picture of David Copperfield!

Norm MacDonald$27,000
Michael Ian Black$23,000

Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
K♠ 7♥ K♦ 7♠
Raises to $12000 ALL-IN
WIN $35,000
With the blinds this high, you really CAN'T afford to be timid like Norm, especially when you have the SAME EXACT HAND.  Without lifting a finger, Michael goes into the chip lead!

Norm would win it back by doubling up, though.

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
Q♠ 2♠ J♠ 8♣
WIN $19,000

Blinds are now up to $5000 (SB) and $10,000 (BB)!  That's right; 30% of all the chips available will be put into the pot before the first cards are ever dealt! 
Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
A♦ K♥ 5♠ 5♣
Calls $13,000
Mike's about a 54% fave with his "speed limit" over Norm's Big Slick.
FLOP: K♠ 4♠ 2♦
So much for that.  Norm's a BIG fave now that he has Kings.  Michael needs a third 5...
TURN: 4♣
K♥ K♠ 4♠ 4♣ A♦ 5♠ 5♣ 4♠ 4♣ K♠
WIN $46,000

Michael (D)Norm
Calls $4000
Since Michael cannot even call a blind, he's all-in automatically.  No more bets...just deal the cards.
A♦ 8♣ Q♠ J♣
Michael is a SLIGHT favorite.
FLOP: Q♦ 4♣ A♣
Both flopped a pair.  Michael's a bigger favorite now...but Norm still insists that it's over for Michael.
Now things are getting interesting.  Norm can win with a Jack to make two pair, a Queen to make "trips" or a 10 to make a straight.  That's a total of 9 outs out of 42 cards...or a 21% chance of winning .
A♦ A♣ 4♣ 4♠ K♠ Q♠ Q♦ 4♣ 4♠ A♣
WIN $8000
Michael STILL lives!

Norm (D)Michael
Calls $8000 ALL-IN
Even with the double-up, Michael can't post the BIG Blind.  So, once again, he's all-in and the cards are just dealt.
K♥ 4♣ 9♥ 4♠
Norm is a HUGE fave this time.
FLOP: Q♣ 2♠ J♠
No help for Michael.
STILL no help.  Michael needs...
...a nine!  Holy @#$%!
Q♣ Q♦ K♥ J♠ 9♠ 9♥ 9♠ Q♣ Q♦ J♠
WIN $16,000
Michael STILL lives!

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
OK...NOW, Michael can post a we're back to to speak.
7♠ 7♦ K♣ 6♥
WIN $26,000
Welcome back, my friends, to the tournament that never ends...

Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
8♦ 7♦ 7♥ 5♥
WIN $34,000

Michael (D) (SB)Norm (BB)
A 3♥ K♠ 4♠
Calls $6000
Well, I'll be.  Norm DOES know how to take a risk!  And that's good; he's a slight underdog.
FLOP: 5♦ 10♠ 10♣
No help for Norm.
TURN: 7♥
STILL no help.  Norm needs a 4 or...
...a King.
10♠ 10♣ A 7♥ 5♦ 10♠ 10♣ K♠ 7♥ 5♦
WIN $32,000

Norm (D) (SB)Michael (BB)
Q♠ 6♥ K♥ 6♣
Calls $8000
Michael is about a 3-to-1 fave to finally END this tournament!  And Norm seems to know it as he dons his jacket.
FLOP: 7♠ 7♥ 5♠
Norm's down to three outs: the three Queens.
TURN: 2♠
Ut oh...Norm has a FLUSH draw.  A spade or a Queen will keep the game going.  That makes 12 outs left.
 7♠ 7♥ 6♥ 6♦ Q♠ 7♠ 7♥ 6♣ 6♦ K♥
Yup...after ALL that, Michael has won...with a kicker ONE RANK HIGHER than Norm's!

And, so, while Norm's Hole In the Wall Gang gets a phat $5000 check written out to them, it's Michael Ian Black who has avenged his Season 1 loss and gets the not-available-in-gift-shops silver chip that signifies a Final Table participant.  His charity, Endeavor House, has a chance at receiving the $100,000 Grand Prize.  All Michael has to do is last ANOTHER such slugfest at the Final Table!