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All those things you learned in elementary school are about to come back to haunt you... in the form of a quiz show that tests how dumb you've become.

Recaps by Ryan Vickers, GSNN

Host: Colin Mochrie
The Class: Katherine, Nathan, Michael, Isiah, Taylor, Jacob, Rachel
Creators: Mark Burnett, Roy Bank, Barry Poznick, John Stevens (based on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?")
EP: John Brunton
Packager: Mark Burnett Productions, Insight Productions
Origin: Canadian Broadcasting Centre, Toronto
Airs: Thursdays at 8p ET on Global

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Episode 5

Will we finally get a million dollar winner? Let’s find out.

A 31-year-old professional engineer that went to Churchill Heights PS in Scarborough, Ontario is our first contestant and his name is Mark Sollard. Let’s get right to the game!

He’s chosen Taylor as his first classmate. And he’ll start with Grade 1 Lit.
Grade 1 Grammar $1,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
The words “Fee Fie Foe Fum” are spoken in the fairy tale...
a) Little Red Riding Hood
b) Jack and the Beanstalk
c) Cinderella?

He says that the words remind him of a giant and he goes with Jack and the Beanstalk. He locks it in, he’s 1 for 1.

Question two will be Grade 1 Life Systems.

Grade 1 Life Systems $2,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
Sunflowers grow from seeds. What do tulips grow from?

He says he’s a bit of a gardener and says that they grow from bulbs, and locks it in. After the necessary suspense, we’ve got a right answer.

We’re going to switch it up and play with Isiah this time. With the subject of Grade 2 Math.

Grade 2 Math $5,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
92 cans of food are collected for the school food drive. If they are stacked in pyramids of 10, how many pyramids of canned food can they build?

He reasons out nine, because 92/10 = 9 with 2 left over. He locks it in.

*Music from $25,000 Pyramid plays*
(or not)

He’s right, give the man $5,000.

Let’s try to double it with Grade 2 Social Studies.

Grade 2 Social Studies $10,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
During Hanukkah, one candle is lit each night for 8 nights in a...
a) menorah
b) gelt
c) kippah

He says he’s been to a bar mitzvah before, and says it’s a menorah. The class all selected menorah as well!

And now it’s time for the Big Brain Academy $25,000 question, after this break!

Plus we’ve now got Katherine to help on Grade 3 Canadian Geography.

Grade 3 Canadian Geography $25,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
The True North Pole is located in the middle of which group of islands...
a) Thousand Islands
b) Queen Elizabeth Islands
c) Queen Charlotte Islands

Mark decides to reason it out. He says that the Thousand Islands are in Eastern Ontario (Ed’s note: The author both used to live there and has explored shipwrecks there and highly recommends it to all) and that the Queen Charlotte Islands are on the West Coast near Vancouver Island, so he decides to go with Queen Elizabeth. He’s right!

And he does a little dance to celebrate! Following that he moves onto Grade 4 Canadian History.

Grade 4 Canadian History $50,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
At what UNESCO world heritage sight were bison hunted by forced to jump over cliffs?

He says he has no idea and it’s time to use a cheat. Katherine has written “prairies”. Not very specific! He has to play this though, because he’s used a cheat. However it’s a free guess, and he says that something inside him has said to go with Buffalo Jump.

And guess what, it’s right for $50K! The full answer, by the way, is Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo-Jump. Seriously!

For $100,000 it’s with the help of Jacob. He goes for Grade 3 Grammar.

Grade 3 Grammar $100,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
What is the abstract noun in this sentence?
‘Isiah went to the legislature to learn about democracy’.

He knows that a noun is a person, place or thing. However, he’s not really sure, but he’s getting more confident and locks in democracy as the abstract noun. Turns out the right answer is democracy!

Three to go for the ten question test to be done. Grade 5 measurement now.

Grade 5 Measurement $175,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
Who developed the scale for the hardening of measurement?

He says his father is an amateur mineralogist. He’s going to say the Rockwell scale. He feels pretty good about that. He locks it in. Turns out the answer is Mohs. He’s hoping for the save, but Jacob has McWilson. Such is life. Mark flunks out with $25,000.

Let’s learn about our classmates. Taylor is from Toronto. She does tap and jazz dancing. She also likes origami.

Our final contestant in this series is 33-year-old nuclear engineer that attended Marshview Middle School in Sackville, New Brunswick – where your humble author once worked as a volunteer tutor while attending Mount Allison University – here’s Michelle Kennedy!

And I’m also happy to say that I was in the audience for this game and can be seen in the top right corner of your screen while Michelle is playing. She says that runs two nuclear reactors, and Colin hopes that basic elementary questions won’t trip her up.

She starts with Taylor and Grade 1 Geometry.

Grade 1 Geometry $1,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
What shape is a stop sign?

Michelle quickly says an octagon. And she locks it in. Easy grand she ever made. Next up is Grade 1 Canadian Geography.

Grade 1 Canadian Geography $2,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
What is the capital of Canada?

Truly I never thought anyone can win $2000 by naming Ottawa as the capital, but Michelle just did!

Switching it up we now play with Michael. And we switch it up with Grade 2 Math (although I thought I heard myself yell out “Grade 4 French!”)

Grade 2 Math $5,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
If 1 dog year is equal to seven human years, how old is Rachel’s 3-year-old dog Spot?

She is confident with her math and locks in 21. Neither Wink Martindale nor Maury Povich shows up, but she’s got five grand.

And here’s her supporters! Her husband Jake and her two sons Curtis and Cameron. One of them suggests that she takes the money to Vegas!

She asks Michael for his advice and goes with Grade 2 Canadian History.

Grade 2 Canadian History $10,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
What famous Canadian founded the Marathon of Hope?

Famous for running across Canada with an artificial leg, Terry Fox is the right answer and Michelle’s into five figures.

And! After this, the Big Brain Academy $25,000 question! With the help of Jacob of course. It’s going to be Grade 3 Social Studies.

Grade 3 Social Studies $25,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
In what month is Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day celebrated in Quebec?

She decides because it’s an important question, she’s going to lock in with a peek. Jacob said May with a question mark. Michelle says that her gut says June and she locks in with that. I’ve been in Montreal for celebrations and I can say 100% that she is right! She’s guaranteed herself with $25,000.

And hubby and the kids are excited. She says that she’s going to give money to charity now that she’s got her windfall.

For $50,000, it’s grade 3 lit.

Grade 3 Literature $50,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
In what town was the book ‘Anne of Green Gables’ set?

She knows that it’s in Prince Edward Island. She seems to be stuck on Cavendish. She also knows that she has a save. She locks in Cavendish. No need for a save, she’s right!

Classmate number four will be helping her play for $100,000 and it will be Katherine. She’s opted for Grade 4 French.

Grade 4 French $100,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
What is the name of the symbol which appears on the Quebec flag four times?

Katherine locks in quickly and is grinning like a madman. Michelle locks in fleur-de-lis. They’re both right!

Michelle is now studying Grade 4 Art.

Grade 4 Art $175,000 PEEK COPY SAVE
‘The Jack Pine’ and ‘The West Wind’ by what Canadian artist?

Michelle has no idea. She has two cheats. And I can tell you that she deliberated for eternity in studio, and as much as she wanted play on, she decides to drop out. But hey, $100,000! Tax free!

Turns out the right answer is Thom Thomson. Katherine wrote Emily Carr, a different group of seven artist.

And that’s it! We gave away over half a million dollars. We welcome back the two substitutes. And Colin explains that we as Canadians value our education, so CanWest Global is giving each of the kids a big fat RESP, towards their future schooling.

Group hug! Group hug!