On the Buzzer
State of Play
We Love to Interrupt
The Video Wall
Game Show Lineup
They can act. They can look
pretty. They can report the news. They can kick your butt. But can they sing?
You won't believe your ears.
Recaps by Chico Alexander, Jason
Block, Don Harpwood, Rachel Kadushin, & Gordon Pepper, GSNN
Judges: Rachel Riggs, Jackie Simley-Stevens, Tony
Creator: Granada America (based on original format)
EP: Jay Karas, Andee Kuroda, Curt Northrup, Paul
Jackson, Michael Hirschhorn, Claire McCabe, Jeff Olde, Lee
Packager: Granada America, VH1
Origin: Tribune Studios, Los Angeles, CA
Airs: 10p ET Sundays on VH1
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Round of 6
- November 6
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and if you were here
last week, you got to hear 9 really bad performances.
Jason: Gordon...you sure I have to do this again?
Gordon: Did you mention us on WPLJ yet?
Gordon: Then yes, you have to do this again
Don: There's more bad performances this week, isn't
Gordon: I would pretty much guarantee it, as we chat
with our friends Jason Block and Don Harpwood.
Jason: Look, this will drive a person to escape the
Gordon: So if Don sees this, will it drive him to come
to the US?
Jason: Of course...
Don: ...It would likely make me want to throw my TV out
Gordon: This week, we will be throwing 3 singers
proverbially out the window, as three of them will be
eliminated. Any thoughts?
Jason: Yes. Kim Alexis is gone, Gotti is gone, and Copon
Gordon: I'm going to go with Myrrrrka, Kim Alexis and
Larry Holmes. What did you think about Bai Ling?
Jason: She was awful, but train wreck awful :)
Gordon: Would you like to see Bai Ling again with less
Jason: Wouldn't everybody?
Gordon: So Don - what women would you like to see
scantily clad in Canada?
Don: Plenty of 'em.
Gordon: Morgan Fairchild?
Don: Not her, to be honest.
Gordon: Bai Ling?
Don: Could I see a pic of her first? Please? (Gets shown
a pic) Yeah.
Gordon: So do you think the singing will be better this
Don: Doubt it.
Gordon: Will Ahmet Zappa make sense this week?
Don: I'm not holding my breath.
Gordon: And here we go, starting with last week's recap.
We get 3 singers leaving before they can sing a note, so
we will be spared from 3 performances. Yay. In addition,
ANT will be the guest judge. He says that he's going to
say what you are thinking. You convinced about that?
Don: Only if he says they all suck.
Gordon: Ahmet says that maybe their favorite will be the
best singer - or
will be the best train wreck. We have over 300,000
votes. Ahmet says that he will call out names. If your
name gets called, you get to sing.
Jason: The judges and coaches are still here from last
week. And Peter
Escovedo is back too.
Gordon: Who is the first singer, Jay?
Jason: The first singer is Michael Copon....boo!
Gordon: And Jay is already 0 for 1.
Gordon: As for Michael, last week, he was
pretty...uh....okay. He certainly wasn't bottom three,
so it's not bad.
Jason: He blew.
Gordon: They all blew. He blew less. Michael says that
this week, he will
take care of business.
Jason: He is singing American Woman by the Guess Who.
The song, I ironically missed on a car on, on an MTV
game show called Turn It Up.
Gordon: Don't you mean the Guess What? As in Guess What
Key he will be singing in?
Jason: True...Oh dear, he is in a leather shirt and
Gordon: He is at least much improved over last week
Don: How much?
Jason: Very much. He can carry a tune.
Jason: This is really surprising.
Gordon: He's not perfect though. Blanking out on the
lyrics in the middle of the song isn't too good. But to
make it up, he'll take off his shirt for you. Ahmet -
'He showed you his boobies tonight!'
Jason: Hottie alert! Ant will like it. The judges say to
have less antics and more focus. ANT says that he liked
him with his shirt open...
Don: Not surprising that he'd say that.
Gordon: ...and that he could have any man or woman that
he wanted. Who's the next singer?
Jason: Morgan Fairchild!
Gordon: Definitely one of the top 6 singers, if you ask
Jason: Yup. She had class and charisma.
Don: Think she'll have improved as much?
Gordon: I certainly hope so.
Jason: She is singing I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.
Gordon: 'I Will Survive'. In Morgan's words, 'I'm a
tenacious bitch.' Not a good start for Morgan, who
mangles the opening lyrics.
Jason: Not as good as Michael this week.
Gordon: She continues her singing/speaking style. The
problem is that it worked on last week's song - but it
doesn't work on this one.
Jason: I agree with you totally on this one.
Gordon: And she sounded like a billy goat on that last
note. Morgan says that she wants to redo the song.
Gordon: Meanwhile ANT says that she brought it. I
thought ANT was going to be an honest judge.
Don: There goes that idea...
Gordon: Who's Next?
Jason: #3 on the dock is....Antonio Sabato Jr. Last
week, he was
horrible...he mangled "Every Breath You Take". This
week, his song is 'I Want You to Want Me' by Cheap
Don: Unless he's improved, if he wants someone to want
him, he may want to consider not singing.
Jason: His shirt is totally off...boobie alert.
Gordon: Booby is right - but it's more because of his
Jason: He is horrible. The worst so far tonight. This is
Gordon: Well we now know why he took off his shirt - to
hopefully get the audience away from the fact that he
can't remember the lyrics or get anything in pitch
Jason: This is bad.
Don: That might work with the ladies, and maybe ANT.
Gordon: The judges are holding ANT back. Is it just me
or is ANT starting to look like a smaller Richard
Gordon: Judge Rachel thought that Antonio did a
wonderful, wonderful job. Huh?
Jason: I would love the crack she is smoking.
Gordon: I really need to hear some Bai Ling
Jason: I don't.
Gordon: Who's singer #4?
Jason: Singer #4---Carmine Gotti Agnello
Gordon: Apparently, he threatened enough people to vote
Jason: You notice they are going for the physically
Gordon: I do - and that does not bode well for Joey
Pants or Larry Holmes.
Jason: He is going to do "Drop It Like It's Hot" by
Snoop Dogg and Pharrell.
Gordon: Drop the singing like it's hot, apparently -
since that's an all rap
and no singing song.
Jason: The music comes on, and again the shirt comes
Don: Are the guys trying to impress ANT or something?
Gordon: It's the new show called Win A Date with ANT!
Jason: And again he mangles the rap horribly.
Gordon: Rapping? That's what he was doing? I thought he
did some great polka.
Jason: This was bad...
Gordon: I'll say this - for the people who know the
song, it was bad, but the people who don't know any
better will like it.
Gordon: And a note to Carmine - please put the shirt
Gordon: Ahmet - 'Apparently, the singing means nothing
as long as you can show the people your stomach'.
Jason: Sounds pretty accurate
Gordon: Can the women do that? I want to see one of the
ladies sing 'Bounce Your Boobies'
Jason: I love 'BOUNCE YOUR BOOBIES'! The song, by the
way, was performed by Rusty Warren
Don: So, what's next?
Gordon: Before we hear the next singer, Ahmet tells us
that he will be
announcing two of the singers who will not be
Jason: 2 of the celebrities who will NOT SING are...Kim
Alexis. Which I
Gordon: Don't forget that you also picked Michael Copon
and the littlest
Jason: Shut Up.
Jason: The second person is...Myrka Dellanos.
Gordon: Awwwwwww. And I'm 2 for 2.
Jason: Shut up.
Don: And who does that leave?
Gordon: The good news is that as the tone tone deaf
females are leaving, we will either hear two of the
following three people perform - Joey Pants, Bai Ling or
Larry Holmes. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news.
Jason: Singer #5...is Larry Holmes.
Gordon: Make that very bad news. The voters, apparently,
are also punch drunk. What song are we going to be
tortured with tonight, Jason?
Jason: He is going to do "Let's Get It On"
Gordon: I guess that refers to the ear plugs that will
be getting it on in my ears
Jason: Oh. My. God.
Gordon: Let's Turn It Off
Gordon: Let's Change the Channel
Don: Another ear-bleeding performance, eh?
Jason: This is really bad.
Gordon: Well, Larry carried part of a tune for at least
40% of the song, so he's improving.
Jason: This is really, really bad.
Gordon: Of course, he only carried the right lyrics for
only 35% of the song, so that needs some work.
Gordon: While we are in the commercial break, I bet I
can tell you who the last singer is going to be, Jason
Jason: Joey Pants. They are not going to have 2 train
Gordon: They just promoed the third show during the
commercial break, and they said that only 6 singers are
left. Then they proceeded to show us..BAI LING!
Don: A spoiler? Geez...
Gordon: Way to ruin the suspense of your own show, VH1.
Jason: I was in the bathroom trying to recover from that
Gordon: VH1 can't do anything right with the show - they
may as well run the spoiler promo during the show as
well. So Jason, who's the last performer of the night?
Jason: The last performer of the night is....BAI LING!
Gordon: Really? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!
Jason: The VH1 people suck. So Kim Alexis, Myrka
Dellanos and Joe Pantoliano are gone.
Gordon: You ready for another Bai Ling performance?
Jason: God help me, no. She is singing 'Call Me' by
Gordon: Let's see what skimpy outfit she wears this time
Jason: Her tattoos are showing. Too bad her talent
Gordon: She has a nice orange mesh suit with a yellow
bra. She's wearing a gold and orange sparkly thing on
her head. I'm not going to comment on the singing,
because I don't care. I'm too mesmerized by the outfit.
Jason: You suck, Gordon.
Gordon: You see that nice tattoo on her midriff?
Jason: I hate tattoos on women.
Gordon: She can call me
Jason: I have Caller ID.
Gordon: Tony is proud of Bai and her vapid talent. 'With
you, less is more'. I think he means the clothing.
Gordon: So - next week - who leaves?
Jason: Larry and Bai.
Gordon: Seems petty evident this time, doesn't it?
Gordon: We get the recaps of the singers and a reminder
to go to vh1.com to vote. And with that, we have
survived episode 2. Any final thoughts?
Jason: You suck and the voters suck.
Gordon: Thank you Jason. And Don?
Don: Those who survive had better improve next time. And
I expect to hear less of shirts coming off next time.
Gordon: Unless they are women?
Gordon: There you go. For everyone, this is Gordon
Pepper, reminding you to spread the love - and not the
bad vocal chords.