Five: Travis and the Finalists Return - February 6

This week’s episode is really a two-hour episode. Travis goes to meet the families of the four remaining whores. The beginning of the show is a recap showing all of the drama of the women trashing each other. If you want to find out what previously happened, read my old recaps [because I’m not going to waste my time]. The show also shows a recap of old hometown visits from previous incarnations of “The Bachelor(ette)”, but I am not going to recap them either because they are stupid and do nothing to further the story of Travis and the media-whores on this program.

Travis talks about why he likes all of the women. He says that Susan is beautiful and smart. Then they show the clip where she uses that treacley “smitten kitten” line [which my husband is sure means that she wants him to smack her pussy]. He says that most women who are smart and beautiful let it go to their heads, but Susan does not.

Travis goes on to say that he had a connection with Sarah from Canada. He likes her beauty and “innocence”. Over the last few group-dates, he has felt like there has been a growing distance between them, and he is hoping that he will be able to reconnect with her.

He says that he is “great friends” with Sarah from Tennessee. She lives a mile from him, they have fun, and she is a good person, inside and out.

Then there is Moana. He finds her sexy and she has been very “natural” with him. He is happy that she has opened up enough emotionally enough that she is willing to allow him to meet her family [as if she really has a choice about it at this point in the show].

The first date is with Moana in San Clemente, California. They meet on the beach where Moana is waiting with two surfboards. Travis talks about how he doesn’t know what his future will be, but he knows that he wants to live in the mountains. They lay on the sand and talk and then pretend to go surfing. They float on their boards for a while, talk and then kiss. Afterwards they go to her family’s house where Travis will meet Moana’s father, Ray, mother, Cheryl, and step-mother, Virginia. It’s obvious that Moana’s dad doesn’t think much of the show, because he just sits around with a smirk on his face when Travis plies him with pre-scripted platitudes. Before dinner, Moana’s step-mother steps in for the kill, asking “What do you think of this arrangement, because frankly I am disgusted at it’s undermining of the homes, marriage and family. Frankly it devastates lives, when families are disregarded and the union of marriage is undermined.” She goes on to ask him what he thinks of the experience. Travis says that his parents have been married for 37 years and he entered into the experience hesitantly. He feels that if you are true to yourself and what you believe in during the experience you can really get to know the other people involved. Moana’s dad wants to know what Travis believes in. Travis skates through the question by saying that he believes in a lot, but there isn’t enough time to talk about it. Travis says that he wants to be a positive member of society and it’s obvious that Moana’s family thinks that Travis is full of shit. Moana says “my family sliced Travis up and threw him on the barbeque.” Moana and Travis kiss good-bye. Travis says that he couldn’t have every visit to Moana’s family be like this because he seeks peace when he is with family.

Next, Travis heads to Winnipeg, Canada to visit with Sarah. [I bet he had to check a map to figure out where Winnipeg is.] For this date, Travis encounters Sarah while she is feeding the ducks at a park. Both Travis and Sarah talk about the fact that they had a strong connection, but it dissipated somewhat because of the drama in the house. They play 8-ball pool and it’s obvious that he likes to sink his balls in her pocket. She brings up the “M” word [Moana] and mentions that he should see that there is something wrong with her if all of the women in the house dislike her. He says that he “appreciates her thoughts”, but is he telling the truth? All of the other women who have trashed Moana didn’t get roses at the next rose ceremony. He poses the question to Sarah, “If somebody said bad things about you, would you want me to listen?” She says that this is different, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject any more. They go to visit Sarah’s family, her mother and two brothers. Sarah’s mom Julie is really excited to meet Travis and she gives him a huge smile. [Travis is probably closer to her age than Sarah’s.] Travis talks about Tennessee and admits that he doesn’t like country music [finally something I can like about him!]. Julie mentions the fact that Sarah still lives at home and it shocks Travis, reminding him of how young Sarah is. Julie raves about her daughter to Travis, telling her how Sarah brings a lot of energy to her house and is truly a deep person. At dinner, Sarah mentions the other girls again and it’s obvious that Travis isn’t pleased at her jealousy. When alone with her mother, Sarah tells her mother that she can’t compete with the three other women who are involved in the process, she doesn’t know how to complete, stay grounded and know how to trust in what is going on with Travis. Julie tells Sarah that she should be honest about her feelings with Travis and to be herself. Later Travis and Sarah snuggle in bed and she tells him that she is going to trust him. They share kisses and Sarah feels confident that she will be getting a rose at the next ceremony.

Travis flies to Nashville, his hometown for his date with Sarah from Tennessee. He picks up his dog Nala and walks a short distance to Sarah’s house. Sarah says that they workout at the same gym, they go to the same grocery store, and go to the same park, and she feels as though they have a lot in common. They walk to a local park and play with Nala. Travis comments that he likes that fact that Sarah is the type of girl that he can go hiking, biking and running with. For Travis the big question is whether Sarah is somebody he can just go hiking with, or is she somebody that he could spend the rest of his life with. Travis tells Sarah that the reason why he chose her for a hometown visit was because she is honest and has a lot of integrity. [Personally, I think that he picked her so that he would have the opportunity to return home and see his dog.] Sarah asks Travis where he sees himself in the future. He says that he wants to go on adventures and visit many new places. He asks her if she would leave Nashville. She says that when she has children, she wants to be near her parents. Travis starts commenting about how sometimes the most important people show up at strange times. In a contrived coincidence, the perfectly matched, carefully chosen, homogenized (and all-Caucasian) children that Sarah teaches show up with her two sisters. The children give her flowers and Sarah frolics with the kids. Travis says that seeing Sarah interact with her students in a positive loving way was amazing. When he thinks about a future wife, he wants somebody who is compassionate with kids and not all women are.

Later that evening, Sarah check’s out Travis’ house before she helps Travis prepare a meal. Sarah’s parents Addison and Vernita arrive at Travis’ house with Sarah’s aunt Rhoda. Vernita, Sarah’s mom, comments that Travis has a nice house. [I personally wonder if the folks from Extreme Makeover came over to Travis’ house, because he has pink and purple walls in his house. What kind of guy picks out pick and purple for their walls?] While talking to the group, he mentions that he wants to move to the Rocky Mountains, which doesn’t please her parents, who want Sarah to remain local. Later Travis and Addison discuss meat, while the womenfolk talk about Travis. [Aunt Rhoda sassily asks Sarah is she has been “romantic” with Travis, and Sarah says that she hasn’t because Travis is a gentleman. I wonder if “romantic” means kissing, or dancing the horizontal lambada?] Cut back to the men, and Addison criticizes Travis’ meat-cooking abilities. Vernita comments that Travis must have a lot of compassion being a doctor [I laughed at this line. My husband is an Emergency Physician and has almost no compassion. My kids complain that he doesn’t care about their aches and pains unless they have an exit-wound] but Sassy Aunt Rhoda worries that he would have bad hours [which is true!] and Vernita worries that being a doctor’s wife is a hard life [give the woman a prize, she hit the nail on the head!]. Vernita worries about the cute nurses as well. Travis takes Vernita aside and tells her how much he likes Sarah. Aunt Rhoda says that she wants Sarah to be happy, because “if Sarah’s not happy, nobody’s happy.” After Sarah’s parents leave, Sarah and Travis spend a lot of time kissing. [What I thought was strange was the fact that they were sitting on the couch together and he made her stand up next to him to kiss her. There is a huge height differential between the two of them, so it had to be uncomfortable for both of them.] The couple is shown kissing for far too long from various angles, almost as if to tell the viewer that there is tons of sexual chemistry between the two people. Sarah thanks Travis for the day and they say good-bye. Travis says that the day strengthened his feelings for Sarah and he realizes that she has many of the qualities that he wants in a woman that he would spend his life with.

Next Travis visits Susan in Durham, North Carolina. They meet in the gardens of Duke University. Susan, emoting heavily, says, “When I first saw Travis I had butterflies in my stomach. I was ridiculously nervous and I was so excited to see him.” The couple drinks wine and chats about the future. Next they throw a football around and then kiss each other. She tells him that she likes how he kisses, he is respectful.
Susan massages his, uh, ego more and tells him that he is attractive and she likes his personality. In the evening, Travis goes to Susan’s parent’s house. He meets Ken and Kathy along with her brothers Brian and Matt. At dinner, Kathy asks Travis, “What if Susan went into this, just for the fun of it, thinking it will be fun to meet another guy but she can get out scot-free because she meets a lot of guys and doesn’t get hooked easily.” As her mother is saying this, Susan shoots daggers at her, while Travis sits there uncomfortably and her brother smirks. Susan makes her mom go into the kitchen and tries to get her to stop making comments to Travis that might ruin her chances. Kathy wonders about Susan’s motives: Susan doesn’t have a job or an apartment and she wonders if she might be using Travis to further her acting career. Susan reveals the bombshell that she just broke up with a fiancée. How long will it be until this little bomb is dropped on Travis? Kathy wonders how this experience is changing Susan, who replies “I’m pursuing what I need to pursue. Nothing changes that” [Sounds sinister to me!] Kathy’s mother says that she doesn’t think that Susan is ready for a relationship. She asks Travis if the show is demanding that he propose to one of the women, to which he replies that he is not a scripted person and he won’t be told what decisions to make. Kathy tells Travis that she told Susan not date for a year after her broken engagement. Travis tells Kathy that there is no acting going on, but she asks him how he doesn’t know that Susan isn’t acting. Susan’s dad asks her if she thinks that show will help her acting career. Susan replies that acting is something she is passionate about, and whatever vehicle takes her there that’s all she wants. Kathy and Ken worry that she is experience something “not real.” Travis and Susan leave, Kathy says that she likes Travis, but she worries about Susan’s motivations. Susan and Travis go back to her hotel and spend some time on the couch together and Susan tries to do some damage control. She says that everything she does and says is 100% honest. She says that 110% of her wants to be with Travis. [She can’t do math!] Travis worries about Kathy’s worries and he wonders about Susan’s sincerity.

Back in Paris, Chris earns his paycheck by asking Travis how he is doing. Travis is exhausted and it’s hard to send a woman home after meeting the families. Chris tells Travis that there is something the women want him to see. They each left him a personal message. Sarah from Canada left the first message for Travis, telling him about the fireworks she feels when she sees him. Sarah from Tennessee tells Travis that she had fun and she feels like he is perfect for her. Susan, doing more of her emoting, tells Travis that it was an honor for him to meet her family and when she is with him the world just melts away. [“I’ll stop the world and melt with you.”] She is looking forward to falling in love with him.

Moana’s message starts with her crying about “finding a piece of herself when she met him in Paris that she never knew existed.” She cries some more about bringing him to meet her family which she says was “scary” and she feels happy and she cries as she thanks him for him. She cries more as she tells him that she would love to give herself to him because she knows that he would be careful. She tearfully tells him that she can’t wait to see him again.

Rather than realizing that Moana is a nut-job who will probably have a psychotic break when he finally dumps her, reduced to stalking, sending him IM messages that minute he signs onto the internet, boiling his bunny or following him to the hospital where he works, pretending to be sick or making herself sick, Travis says that her message “touched” him. [Hello! Travis! Did you skip your Psychiatry rotation in med school? She has borderline personality disorder. I am not a doctor, but even I can see it.]

The women march into the house for the rose ceremony. Before it begins there is an announcement that if you want to nominate the next Pimp or Ho for the next installment of The Bachelor, call 1-866-739-3150 or go to ABC.com, keyword Bachelor. [Damn, I thought that my recapping this show would mean the end of it.]

After the break, Chris talks about how it was a big step for Travis to meet their parents and how only three women will have the change to continue to go on amazing romantic overnight dates. [Barf] For one woman the journey will be over.

Travis starts lobbing roses. Susan gets the first rose. Moana gets the second Rose. Chris says there is just one rose left. [No shit, Sherlock!] Travis offers the final rose to “Sarah…” and momentarily pauses so that we don’t know which Sarah he means. He goes on to say “…from Tennessee” and Sarah from Winnipeg looks sad as she realizes that she will not be receiving a rose. She hugs Sarah and Susan good-bye as Moana smirks and half-heartedly blows her an air-kiss goodbye. Travis escorts her out and tells her that he thinks that they are at different places in life. She has just begun her adventures and he doesn’t want to be the guy who prevents her from figuring out who she is. Susan cries to the camera that she is sad and upset and even more so because Travis picked Moana over her, because Moana isn’t genuine.

Next weekend Travis and the women go all over Europe (The French Alps, Vienna, and Venice) on overnight dates. [At least it’s a one hour episode of the show!] What will each woman do when she is given the opportunity of a lifetime [to be a whore and spend the night with Travis]?