As the uber-confident sisters look for a gas station and direction to York, Bill, Tammy, Carissa and Billy Gaghan depart ten minutes behind them. The parents and kids know that the other teams see them as a threat now and hope to use it to their advantage. One minute later, Linda, Rebecca, Rachel and Rolly Weaver, fully recovered from a vicious hit-and-run by their own Amish buggy, split the STOP. Linda really WANTS to be the leader of this family, even though she can't be the father that her kids no longer have.

Fourth out of the gate - a minute behind the Weavers - are Denny, Renee, Brittney and Brock Rogers. Unlike the Weavers, they HAVE a father and he IS the leader...whether Brock likes it or not. It's 8:18am when Mark, Char, Stassi and Hunter Schroeder depart...but not before having trouble packing the gear on top of the SUV.

While the Godlewskis gas up and get directions, the Gaghans pass them. They had already mapped out a route to York overnight...leaving the kids PLENTY of time to ham for the in-SUV cameras. The Weavers find their way...and Linda, again, prays to the Lord for help (though, at this time, I'm sure He was busy trying to talk Mother Nature out of making Katrina.)

As the Schroeders explore a possible short cut, Tony, Marion, D.J. and Brian Paolo depart at 8:21am...and they start to argue ON THE WAY TO THE SUV! It mostly centers around Marion not being listened to and respected. Three minutes behind them are Walter, Elizabeth, Lauren and Lindsay Bransen. The father is not overly-optimistic about their chances and the daughters are out to prove him wrong. It's 8:37 when Tony Aiello and his sons-in-law Kevin, Matt and David take off, guns blazin'! Finally, at 8:45am - nearly an hour behind first place - Tommy, Megan, Alex and Nick Linz head off towards...

YORK, PENNSYLVANIA

The Gaghans find the giant shoe firs with the red-white-and-yellow Route Marker flag on top. Bill puts his marathon legs to work and jogs towards the shoe, grabbing the clue and getting back in before reading it to wife and kids:

 

Apparantly, the "short cut" worked; the Schroders are next to the "really big shoe" (homage to Ed Sullivan) and get the clue to Washington. As Stassi climbs DOWN the steps, Christine Godlewski climbs UP, putting the sisters in third by a hair. As they drive off, the Weavers arrive. Rolly is asked to get the clue to put them in fourth. They have a problem, though; Rachel asks, "What state is Washington in?" (Yup, the Florida schooling system...putting YOUR Lottery dollars to work.)

Roger-roger...er, Rogers arrive in fifth and Brock is set to retreive the clue to D.C. But...the "leader" wasn't paying attention to how they GOT there and, thus, they get lost on the back roads heading out. They pass RIGHT BY Rte. 30 (which everyone ELSE was taking) and look for Rte. 10 instead. Meanwhile, a reluctant D.J. scrambles up the step to the roof of the shoe and puts them in sixth. As they pull out, the Bransens show up. Lindsey gets the clue and the family heads back out the way they came. The Aiellos are next to the shoe and Matt retrieves the Washington clue. They are ecstatic since Matt LIVED near D.C. for ten years. The last team to the shoe, of course, are the Linzes. Alex grabs the clue and all the teams start looking for the right way to D.C.

One by one, the teams find I-83 South towards Baltimore (including the Paolos) and, driving towards their next destination, they strategize. Matt, for having been to D.C. so often, doesn't really know the capital city too well. He believes the Reflecting Pool is between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. There's A Reflecting Pool there...but there's ANOTHER in front of the Capitol Building. This could cause some confusion. Oh, wait,...not EVERY team has made it yet. Brock Rogers swears they have yet to find any sign to I-83...and "leader" Denny looks at the map and says they had already passed it. Because of this, Brock is ordered to pull over and let Denny drive. Only AFTER they take off again does Brittany confirm that Brock was right and Dad was wrong. Oops. Eventually, though, they find the right way to...

WASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

The home of the Smithsonian, the Redskins and the Oval Office where a thousand bad decisions have been launched (and that's just in the last 30 years), the Gaghans find a parking space and go looking for the clue. They, like the Aiellos, believe that it's the pool between Washington and Lincoln Monuments. They are soon joined by the Schroeders, who seem thoroughly convinced that there is no other Reflecting Pool.

The Godlewski sisters, however, aren't the dumb blondes some think they are. They actually go towards the Capitol and find the RIGHT pool. The Weavers luck out and, when asking a pedestrian, find out about the one near the Capitol. As such, THEY find the cluebox first...but the yscreech so loudly, the Godlewskis hear them a good ways away. The Weavers read the next clue:

 

It's a short jog to the limo as it is. Briefcase in hand, they head off in first. The Godlewskis are a close second. Meanwhile, the Schroeders and Gaghans are looking furiously around the OTHER Pool for the clue...and finding none. The Schroeders, however, find out about the Capitol Pool and, growling in disgust for their stupidity, head for their car. When they pass the Gaghans again, they claim to STILL be lost as to where the clue is. Seems Mark doesn't want to help ANYONE right now.

The Paolos...well, Marion's VERY worried about the gas tank needle being dangerously close to "E". But she seems to be the ONLY one worruied about it. They seem to find the clue box without a problem. Solidly in third, they grab the briefcase from the limo and haul fanny. The Bransens arrive at the Lincoln Pool and, like the Gaghans, are lost finding the clue. The Aiellos park BY the Lincoln Pool...but, upon looking at a visitors' map, find out about the Capitol Pool and hop back into the SUV.

The Schroeders are fourth to the clue box and to get the briefcase. The Linzes, who parked a BIT too far away from the flag, are fifth. The two families high-five each other before heading off. The Aiellos are sixth to the box, calling themselves "morons". (Ask the Gaghans and Bransens if they agrees.)

The Godlewskis are the first to the Tidal Basin near the Jefferson Memorial. The immediately find the clue box and find their first:

 

Well, Alias this ain't...but Sharon decides to look for someone who knows "the sky is blue". The Weavers...they're having driving issues with three back-seat drivers screaming at Rebecca for passing the exit to the Basin. As such, the Paolos...they REMARKABLY reach the ROAD BLOCK in second, with DJ volunteering to do the covert stuff. DJ actually looks to make sure the briefcase IS identical before giving the password.

It's sheer luck (I'm sure) that Sharon finds someone who says, "The sea is green" and hands her the briefcase with the next clue. Sharon opens the briefcase on the spot and opens the clue:

 

As Sharon passes DJ, DJ is ALREADY getting frustrated at the task. The Weavers arrive and elect Rebecca to play "Bond". As Rebecca starts, the Godlewskis depart for Virginia, claiming they're "kickin' ass!" As Deej gets MORE frustrated, Rebecca lucks out and finds a spy, puting the Weavers into second. It takes a little more time...but DJ finally finds a spy, meaning he and his dysfunctional family will leave for Middleburg in third.
The Schroeders are next to the ROAD BLOCK and elect Mark to mutter "the sky is blue" like an old weirdo.

Meanwhile, back at the Lincoln Reflecting Pool, the Gaghans are stupified! They've searched high and low and all aorund the large Pool and no clue box! And the Bransens aren't much better, what with "Walder" unable to keep up with his younger and more energetic daughters.

The Aiellos and the Linzes more-or-less arrive at the ROAD BLOCK at the same time. They elect David and Nick respectively to play spy vs. spy. Mark Schroeder is next to find the right spy and put his family into fourth. And the Paolos...they're desperately looking for gas...and Marion's all but saying, "I told you so!" Nick and David seem to be working together finding the spy. David gets his clue first, though, keeping the Aiellos in fifth.

Well, well...the Rogers have finally found their way into the city. The pedestrian THEY ask talks about the Lincoln Reflecting Pool...where they run into the Gaghans. Billy is the most angry because they've been searching for two hours. Somewhere ELSE around the Pool, the Bransens figure out that they're at the WRONG Pool. The Rogers wake the Gaghans up and they FINALLY ask a "service center" about the Capitol Pool. Ohhhh, you should see the look on the Gaghans' FACES! PRICELESS! But, anyway, the last three teams take off. The Gaghans are first to find the clue to the Tidal Basin and retrieve the briefcase. The Bransens are eighth and the Rogers...as you may guess, are last.

And the Paolos...are just about out of gas...and the boys are just about out of PATIENCE with their dear mother's nagging. But they DO find a station and fill up (why not, since it's free?) before starting the arguing again. They get lost around the Beltway...and Marion BLOWS UP when his boys accuse HER! Meanwhile, Nick continues to look for the right spy while the Gaghans arrive and send Tammy off on her covert op. Nick FINALLY finds one and returns to his now sixth-place team. Or...DOES he? Tammy finds a spy MUCH sooner and MUCH closer...so the GAGHANS depart in sixth while the breathless Nick arrives in seventh mere meet behind.

Wally Bransen is the next spy out there. And, with only a 3 out of 50 chance of FINDING the right spy, this might take some time. The Rogers are lost yet again and can't seem to find the Basin. It DOES take time...but Wally finds the right spy before the Rogers ever show up. He and her daughters depart in eighth.

But...the "Great Equalizer" finally rears its head! No, not the airport this time. There's a massive traffic jam en route to Middleburg and all the families (except the Godlewskis and Weavers who took an alternate route from the start) are stuck in it. BUT...the Linzes look at the map and find a backroad route to their destination. The Bransens get the same idea, though they're a far way from the Linzes.

At last, the Rogers arrive and send Brittney out to find a spy. Fortunately, she finds one of the last two spies rather quickly. They're a fair clip behind, though, in the race to...

WELBOURNE MANOR, MIDDLEBURG, VIRGINIA

The Godlewskis beat the traffic jam and have arrived at their destination town. They just need to find the manor. The Weavers aren't that far behind at first...but they find the RIGHT way to the manor and find themselves first at the next...

 

Decisions, decisions. The Weavers decide to look at the tasks and THEN decide. But...they seem to get lost en route. Meanwhile, the Godlewskis arrive and choose HEAT OF THE BATTLE. They get down to the battlefield...and the battle begins! The sisters are FREAKING as they carry a stretcher, looking for bodies. Finally, the Weavers arrive, hearing the battle in the distance. Upon seeing the "desperate housewives" ahead of them (wrong network, dummies!), they decide to do HEAT OF THE NIGHT instead. The rolling of the barrel of oil is easy...it's putting them in the lanterns that's difficult.

The Linzes, successful in their alternate route, arrive at the manor in third and choose to lug corpses. As the two M*A*S*H wannabe teams are tied at one body apiece, the Weavers have a BIT of a struggle with lighting the lamps. Meanwhile, three families arive at about the same time at the DETOUR. The Schroeders decide on NIGHT while the Bransens and Aiellos go for BATTLE.

The Union is giving the Confederacy what for (re-enactingly, of course) and the Linzes and Godlewskis are hauling carcasses off neck-and-neck as the Aiellos enter the fray. David is PUMPED being back in the battle (he's ex-Marine, y'know). Suddenly, there's a LOT of screaming! It's the Weavers! They have all twenty lamps lit and they grab the flag and sprint down the trail, much to the chagrin of the other teams. The Linzes finally get their fifth body into the tent and follow the Weavers towards...

PIT STOP: A MEADOW NEAR WELBOURNE MANOR, MIDDLEBURG, VIRGINIA

Our host Phil Keoghan and a Union and Confederate soldiers smart enough to stay OUT of the fray see the Weavers, flag a-waving, running towards the mat in front of them. He is happy to proclaim the widow and her children as Team Number One! And they're going on an island vacation courtesy of the Roaming Gnome of Travelocity.com!

Right behind them are, of course, the Linzes. The sister and brothers are named Team # 2. The Godlewski sisters are exhausted...but they finish their task, grab their flag and arrive as Team # 3.

Meanwhile, the oil is flowing like wine for the Schroeders as they finish filling the lamps. The Aiellos and Bransens are tied in bodies three apiece. But Wally is starting to falter from this physical challenge. And, finally, he tells his girls he can't go on anymore. The girls, however, refuse to let him give up!

The much-maligned Gaghans arrive at manor and choose BATTLE... much to Billy's dismay. As they haul the stretcher out and Billy cringes at the shots being fired, the Aiellos and Bransens get their fourth bodies to the tent. But it's the Schroeders are finish lighting the lamps first. They get their own flag and jog to the PIT STOP as Team # 4.

Tony Aiello is exhausted...but his sons-in-law say they can handle the last guy themselves while Tony stays with them for balance. They get their last body...just as the Bransens do. Both teams jog down the path, each with an exhausted father dragging them behind. The Rules of the Race say that ALL team members MUST be on the mat to be considered "checked-in". Who will make it first...er, fifth?!

"Aiello family, you're Team # 5! Bransen family, you're Team # 6!"

The Gaghans, despite the nagging by Billy at Carrisa, get THEIR last casualty of mock-war to the tent and sprint to the STOP as Team # 7.

That leaves two families...with one possibly going home (guess who I'M routing for to lose?)!

Unfortunately for me, the Paolos...they arrive at the manor in eighth and choose (after some bickering) to go to BATTLE. The boys nearly twist their ankles hauling these hefty soldiers...and Marion is ALREADY claiming she "can't do this" after hauling two bodies.

The Rogers finally arrive and decide on BATTLE as well. As the Paolo boys run out of gas, the Rogers start their hefting. But...after their first carry, Renee claims that she can't do this. Unlike the Paolos, who PUSH the boys back into service, Denny decides to go to NIGHT instead (much to Brock's anger). They fill ten lamps as the Paolos go for their fourth body. The Rogers fill their last lamp while the Paolos plop injury # 4 by the tent.

The lamps start to get lit...

The guns blaze even more...

...and with a LOUD grunt, the Paolos push their last soldier into the tent! They WALK more than run down the path with their flag...but right behind them are the Rogers, who light their 20th lamp and jog down the path.

Phil and the soldiers wait...

A team of four hits the mat...

And Phil says the words I did NOT wanna hear:

"Paolo family...you're Team # 8!" (DAMMIT!)

What's MORE amazing, though, is that Brian actually has some KIND words for Mom, saying she "comes through in the clutch" for the family. Hey, miracles DO happen.

"Rogers family," says Phil to a deshivelled group of four, "you're the last team to arrive." After a pause, Phil tells them that they're gone from the Race. Denny takes full responcibility...but so does Brock. They're all disappointed...but maybe they'll learn from this little escapade.