"I Can't Believe It's
Not Clutter!" - April 21
(C-Note: Up until now, we haven't had a recapper for
this show. However, we've secured the services for one
Eric Pierce to help us round out the series and get us
properly started for the next one. Here's Eric!)
As we begin, Magna is
playing a game of guess who guessing by a vote of 2-1
that Bren will be fired over Chris. Add that to the list
of Apprentice mistakes as Bren and Alex walk through the
door. Of course, everyone is happy to see them (This
Moment of Fakeness is brought to you by the Donalds
comb over, confusing hairstylists since 1946.)
The next morning, the candidates reported to Mr. Trumps
office to receive their next assignment: Invent and
develop an office product for Staples that will allow
customers to cope with desktop clutter. The Jury:
Staples executives and a pool of office managers.
Net Worth, shortly after leaving Trumps office jumped
on the phones in order to talk to the Staples execs and
quickly found out what the rest of us already know. Cell
phones are unreliable. When the third time wasnt the
charm, Alex decided to move forward, reflecting maybe
that it wasnt the best idea to forego an in-person
meeting. However, with all the time he saved he was able
to give Bren a phone book with which he could
unsuccessfully call office managers for suggestions.
Thats right, why walk to the offices when you can let
your fingers do the walking.
Logic alert: Magna, led by Craig, chose to speak with
the executive to learn what they wanted. Upon doing this
they learned that Staples was looking for an improvement
on an existing item rather than a brand new idea.
Further Logic Alert: after meeting with the executives,
Magna went to Staples and ask the customers what they
wanted. Tana and Kendra stumbled upon an office manager
who happened to be buying stackable filing units and
faster than a cartoonist could draw a light bulb over
Tanas head, the file-functional lazy susan was born.
After all, what could be better than putting plastic
compartments on a turntable to increase organization and
How about a brand new desk? Enter the pack-rat. Alex,
decided to take a risk and rethink the entire desk
conceptualizing a curvy, stylish desk on wheels with a
plexi-glass top. If looks could kill you might call this
the Manson. In actuality, the desk looked more like
high-end a kids desk from Wal-mart, but given they had
a one day turnaround, not bad. What was really stunning
however was the confidence of Alex and Bren who seemed
assured they would win.
However, no one is allowed to win until after the drama,
and Craig & Kendra delivered. Kendra, frustrated with
Craigs condescending treatment of her, spoke up and
vocalized her displeasure with his leadership. Craig
responded by calling Kendra a liar and even worse,
young lady, to which Kendra was visibly agitated. (Do
we really need another pot calling the kettle black
incident?) In short, moan, moan, moan
As the presentations began Net Worths confidence exuded
in their presentation. They showed off how their desktop
flipped open to allow access to 2 wire bins that could
act as in and out boxes as well as many shelves under
the desk for staplers, pencil sharpeners and other
office doodads. They sold their desk hard.
And the jury didnt even care. Why arent there drawers?
Is this supposed to replace my standard desk? Do you
really expect me to flip the top of a desk that would be
covered with papers when in use, in order to access what
you call in and out bins, every 15 minutes? While Bren
and Alex finagled their way around these questions
masterfully, their grave was all but dug.
That is unless Magna faltered
which didnt happen.
Their presentation went flawlessly and while Craig did
inadvertently knock over a cup of pens, it was part of
the act and as a result all the questions lofted at
Magna were softballs such as did you think of adding a
motion lock to the lazy susan? and Are any of the
parts detachable? which some were.
With that, Magna delivered another drubbing and as
should be expected the Desktop Apprentice is now in
stores. (Now you have a place to file your, wearable
tech, meatball turned cheeseburger pizza, Pontiac
solstice, and whatever they are selling next week). More
importantly, they get one of the best rewards yet,
breakfast with George and Carolyn at the Rainbow Room.
At breakfast, we find out that George has been with
trump since he first renovated the Commodore Hotel and
thought Trump was crazy. Better yet we find out that
Carolyn has had a ménage-a-George in that she is not
only side by side with George in the boardroom, but she
is also married to another George and has two kids. One
of these relationships has resulted in two children.
Ill let you guess which.
Back to the action in the boardroom where the cigar
smoking, buddy-buddy friendship is about to come to and
end. Trump drills Alex as to how he thought that their
desk was a better invention and he still claims that the
desk was better, wishing he had the rights to sell it.
Bren faithfully defended the product as well and then
Carolyn brought the heat. Its too big, it wasnt
practical, it certainly wasnt creative, proclaimed
Lady Di, and with that the issue was over.
With Alex being the PM it was looking like more and more
of a sure thing that he would be the one fired, but Bren
violated Apprentice boardroom rule number one, shut up.
Bren explained to the Donald that he didnt like to take
risks and that he was finally learning how to do so just
now, to which the Donald claimed that he could not
develop an entrepreneur who was still in kindergarten
and after statement, Brens efforts were futile. Bren
was fired, rather politely actually, and the final four
So, as the Apprentice heads down its final stretch, now
is the time to pick your pony. Will Alex, Craig, Kendra
or Tana take it all, and most importantly, who will step
up their game and actually make the Donald want to hire