Game Show NewsNet - American Idol: Season 4

The Grand Finale

Everyone is busy tonight. It's just little old me reporting as we get to the end of American Idol. It's me and...oh wait! Chico is here with us...and he's LIVE in California! What do you have to say, Chico?

Chico: The last time I saw a race get this hotly contested, it involved two Survivors, two bald people and an airplane pilot with a change of heart.

Uhhh...OK, Chico. I couldn't hear you. Could we try this again?

Chico: I haven't seen so much tension since the last time I nabbed pocket dimes in a poker game.

Ah - Chico is full of cliches - which is what I expect this show to be. Oh well. I still think Bo wins this, but I also think that Carrie outsang Bo last night, COuld there be an upset in the making? We'll see as Ryan starts us off.

We start the 1:45 filler part of the 2 hour show with a 60's medley. It actually didn't sound bad until the singers started to go solo, starting with Mr. Scott Savol - then we realized after the Mikalah Gordon, Lindsey Cardinale and Jessica Sierra trio why they got voted off to begin with. We get bailed out, thankfully, by Nadia Turner and Vonzell Solomon, while Anthony Federov and Constantine Maroulis elevate us some more...until the return of Scott and Nikko Smith to bring us back down to Earth again. All in all, not as bad as the Wednesday recaps, so I'll give them a 7. Chico, your thoughts?

Chico: This match up is closer than Seacrest and a can of Aqua Net.

Just what I would say, Chico.

Ryan talks about all of the singers that will be performing, but then he says that the show is really about 2 singers - Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice. Sure, it's about them, that's why Ryan is announcing all of the guests.

Ryan talks about a host for the red carpet, and was looking for class and charm. Ryan - 'We couldn't find anybody, so here is Mikalah Gordon'. Way to bury your talent, Ryan. Mikalah asks people who they think should win, and amidst the screaming of Bo, Mikalah tells them all to stop screaming her name. Way to bury yourself, Mikalah. So Chico, what did you think of that?

Chico: This race is tighter than Simon Cowell's entire wardrobe.

Uh. Yah

We get a recap of the history of what's been going on this season in American Idol. Do you really need a recap of this? No you don't.

After the break, we get a taped segment with Ryan and Bo Bice, as they look at a live shot from the Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex Arena in Alabama. Bo thanks everyone in Alabama. Speaking of Alabama, we go to Latoya London, who is live mangling Bo Bice's name (calling him Bo Brice), and is talking to one of the mayor's representatives, who says that if he wins that it will be 'Bo Bice' day. I think LaToya may have had some of that famous Alabama moonshine before getting on stage. We finish this off with Bo singing 'Vehicle', and he sounded pretty good at it. Was it good enough?

Next up - the competition. Carrie Underwood gets to see her fanes from a couple of states westward. We go to the Muskogee Civic Center in Muskogee, Oklahoma, where we hear from...Matt Rogers? Yep, Matt is there, speaking to Kim Henry, the first lady of Oklahoma. Kim is excited to have someone like Carrie representing Oklahoma, adding that she has no doubts that Carrie will win. Matt says that he will get busy with her afterwards, and I wonder if him and LaToya shared that same bottle of moonshine. Carrie sings 'Angels Brought Me Here' and that gets us through the first half hour of this show. Only 90 minutes left. Let's go to Chico for his opinion...

Chico: We're even Steven and Steven isn't even in the final.

I have to deal with this spouts all night, don't I?

Chico: Yes, you do. Suffer, Biotch.

Thanks.
Ryan comes over to see the judges. We get Randy Jackson in white sneaks and pink shoelaces. Randy says that Carrie won the night, and there could have been a change of momentum, adding that the last song was the best song that she connected emotionally. He is asked about the connection between Paula and Simon, and we get a montage of their spats throughout the season.

That fades to Ryan being in the room with Paula, who says that he grows on you - like fungus. She says that they kinda, sorta, got together and they could be friends in 2008. Ouch. She says that his ego is definitely bigger as Ryan goes off to visit Simon Cowell.

I know you wanted to see a montage of all of the weird Ford Commercials this season. NEXT!

Ryan voyages to Simon Cowell's room, where he says that some people says that this is his best season. He says that the little people played a part on the show and he thanks Ryan. He says that his opinion hasn't changed from last night - Bo looked uncomfortable while Carrie looked better, adding that he says that Carrie will win the competition - which is what he said since day 1. Simon likes Matt as a host and wants to bring back a second host, while Ryan wants to bring back the guest judges. Heh.

We go to Latoya, and Simon wonders if LaToya is drunk. She is certainly seeming like it as she has a little kid who yells at Simon, asking why he is using reverse psychology on Bo. This segment is running flatter than 5 year old soda and we quickly switch to Matt in Oklahoma. He has 'Grandpa Carl' with him and a little dog. Simon seems to be impressed and hopes he returns next year. As for LaToya...let's say we may know why we haven't heard much of her.

Montage - Top 3 Emotional Moments

3. Regina Brooks selling her wedding rings.
2. Mark Scroggins pulling a Gus Frerott and slamming his head against a wall
1. The wild celebration of Gregg Clark's Mom - sitting on the ground and all.

We start the second hour by the singing of the National Anthem - by Leandra Jackson, as we get the recording of her mangling the song. Do we really need to see these people made fun of again? I thought the idea here is to promote the talent, and not showcase the lack of. In the middle of it, we get Leandra coming out and singing it live - and continuing to mangle it. Argh. I can see Francis Scott Key and all of the other Anthem writers spinning in their grave.

60 minutes gone. What do you think, Chico?

Chico: This is enough to give a paranoid schizophrenic the heebie-jeebies.

You sound as sensical as Leandra's singing.

We get a reintroduction to the judges, and then we get a duet by Carrie and Bo as they sing 'Up Where We Belong'. Carrie sounds very strong. Bo sounds...very off-key, like the range was completely too low for him to sing. Could this be a portend of things to come?

Ryan comes over to both of them and gives them keys - to their brand new cars! Bo is shocked while Carrie warns her mom to stay away. While they are celebrating, we get a montage of the journeys that both Carrie and Bo took to get to the finals.

Don't forget to get tickets to the Idol show and get the CD's! BUY! BUY! BUY!

We get a Bottom Ten of singers...ick...

10. Darren Beck (I put a Spell on You)
9. Derrick 'I am Toni Braxton's Cousin' Braxton (I have no clue what he's singing)
8. 7. 6. 5. Jason '5.9%' Smith and his 4 Voices. None of which were in tune. Cute.
4. Robert Solomon (Dancing in the Streets) Maybe Hiding under the sheets?
3. Las Vegas Psychic Bobby Mae (Falling in Love with You) 2. Maurice Thomas - He claims to sing like Brian McKnight. Sounds more like Bob Knight. I know who #1 has to be here, without even having to see it...
1. Leroy 'CRUNK' Wells. Can you dig it?

Hall and Oates are in the audience. Also in the audience... the two friends of Adam and Dirk. We get a recap of their story, and then Ryan brings them their idol...David Hasselhoff! Adam, Dirk and the audience goes nuts.

Attention Austin, Boston, Atlanta, Denver, San Diego and Chicago - Idol will be going to these places in Season 5. Check the web site for details.

Then there's this...we have a satirical expose on Simon Cowell having a secret affair on the show 'Bad Judgement'. 'We never let the truth get in the way of our ratings.' This is hysterical. Let me get to the highlights...

1. Paula Abdul talks about clothes that have been brought for him - like corsets and fashions.
2. Randy talks about Simon reading things off of a card.
3. Randy has a cd called 'Dog-Tics', with Paula mixing the CD. He says it's not a marketing ploy, as he markets a book called 'What's Up, Dawg?', going to 'Randy's Donuts' and wearing a t-shirt called 'Buy My CD'.
4. Constantine Maroulis makes a cameo as a pouting waiter.
5. Ryan feels rejected from Simon. 'I feel so empty'
6. In a move typical of Eddie Murphy, Randy plays his mom and dad.
7. We see SImon talking to...a mirror. 'Simon has been talking to...himself.'
8. We get cameos from the other Idolers as their reaction. 9. The Idol producers have a new judge - William Hung!

This is hysterical, as apparently, we have gotten the Idol Producer's verdict on what they think of the Paula Abdul Vs. Corey Clark situation. What do you think, Chico?

Chico: This is about as close to the action as you can get without having slept with one of the judges.

Ouch.

This season, the theme was Idols singing with...Idols. For example, Carrie singing with...Rascal Flats! They actually sound very good together. Next up - Anthony and Anwar singing 'I believe I can Fly' with the instrumentation being provided by Kenny G. Third medley - Constantine, Jessica, Nadia, and Kenny Wayne Sheppard doing a rendition of 'Walk This Way'. Constantine has to learn that he no longer should do rock. Come to think of it, Jessica and Nadia shouldn't do it either. Ick. Fourth Medley - Scott and Nikko with George Benson singing 'On Broadway' Oh no...(shudder). At least Benson was there to bail them both out, as he sang the last verse. Fifth Medley - Vonzell Solomon and Billy Preston on a sweet R and B number. Now where was this during the competition? If only Vonzell decided to take this sort of risk when she was competing...Sixth Medley...Babyface...getting stuck with Lindsey and Mikalah. It actually sounded pretty good - much better than I would have given them credit for. Final medley - Bo Bice with Lynyrd Skynyrd singing 'Sweet Home Alabama.' He sounds good and he brings the house down...

...but did he bring your vote down? If we are looking at the whole season, then Bo wins, hands down. If we, however, are looking at only last night, then Carrie wins - and the pattern this year has seemed to be that the Tuesday night performances carry more weight than what the singers have been doing all season.

Final prediction from Chico?

Chico: a classic Ratherism: "This faceoff is enough to give a bottle of aspirin a headache."

Thanks for nothing, Chico.

Ryan reminds them about the stakes, and adds that Marquis through in a personal private jet into the ceremonies. Ryan gets a last thought from the judges. SImon sticks with Carrie and congratulates America for getting it right. Paula sticks with Bo. Randy congratulates both singers and says they are both great. AwwwwBarf.

We find out that there are over 500 million votes cast for this season. Who are the votes for? Let's hear from Ryan....'The winner, of American Idol 2005 is...Carrie Underwood!'. Carrie is in shock and starts to cry, hugging Bo at the same time. Everyone gives her a standing ovation. We also get applause from Bo as Ryan tells Carrie to sing her new single to be released on June 14th. She sings 'Inside Your Heaven' and staggers through the notes (then again, this shouldn't be new, as she's been staggering through the notes and words all season). She sings us to the end, as she thanks America. Fade to black. End of Series.

We get a FINAL thought from Chico (and this one is actually comprehensible)...

Chico: Much like the offensive line of the Carolina Panthers of 2003, Carrie Underwood rode the coattails of a good song last night and pretty much through the entire season. While Bo was consistently the better performer, she was pretty much the vocalist to beat in the clutch. That's right, friends... Carrie is the new Jake Delhomme. But if you go simply by what it takes to be the American Idol, it's really hard to argue that she (or Bo, for that matter) didn't deserve the title. But if I were going not by the judges, and not by "what you have done for me lately?" (which clearly America has), then Bo clearly outdid her.

But again, it's Carrie's time to relish. The show is all hers. She had what it takes, and I'm in awe of her vocal talents (when she finally decided to show them). But I will say this: everyone remembers what happened after AI2. And everyone knows who came in second, more so than who came in first. That said... did she really win? Time and record sales will tell for sure on that one.

We wanted a talent show, we got a talent show. We wanted the two best, we got the two best. We knew that half the country was going to go "WHAT?!" But like Cowell said, "You give the public the vote, you live with their decision."

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see if Clive Davis signed Bo yet... You know he will, after all.

My take? I have to politely disagree with Chico. Although I don't think that the more talented singer won, I do think that Carrie did outsing him last night - and that seems to be all the difference. I also think that the voting wasn't very close - Ryan always says how close the voting was, and this year, he never mentioned the margin of victory. Carrie may have sewn it up before Tuesday, but she validated it on that final voting night's performances. Regardless, in a season where any of 8 people could have legitimately won this, this was a fun season and I can't wait for Idol 5.

This ends the season. A special thanks to Anthony Rojas, Jason Block, Joe Van Ginkel, Rachel Kadushin, the lovely Michelle, and of course, Chico Alexander. This is GSNN's American Idol points champion Gordon Pepper, signing off, telling you we'll see you back in January for AI5!