Wild Card Results
(C-Note: some of the acts that you are
about to read involve real danger in front of a live audience. They were
designed, practiced, and supervised by professionals, taking the
contestants' safety into full account. They are extremely dangerous and
should NEVER be attempted anywhere, by anyone, at any time.)
Chico: Our picks are locked. So
they are written... so they shall be. Twelve acts, only four spaces. The
results are IN. Nick Cannon is on stage, which means that it's time to
get to business... and part of business was that no Xs given every
Gordon: We are here to announce the 4 possible Wildcards....and
Chico's impending retirement from all things AGT.
Chico: Yeah, just throw that in my face, why don't you.
Gordon: Just did (carries an 'All That' sign)
Chico: In between all that, performances from Carly Rae-be,
Carly Rae Jepsen... ... the cast of "Bring It On The Musical"... and Owl City.
Gordon: Is it just me or does Andrew De Leon look like a darker
skinned Chris Hardwick?
Chico: It ain't you. Oh, and one thing worth pointing out: NO X'es.... That doesn't happen.
Gordon: It should have with Cristin Sandu
Chico: It really should've.
Gordon: He fell. He should have gotten X'ed
Chico: But the whole falling thing speaks for itself. I mean, once he fell, his act was technically over.
Gordon: Exactly. I think it was just sympathy lack of X's.
Chico: Again, once he fell, the act ended. I think it was more like the asterisk X's.
Gordon: And it's 'How important does advancing mean to me'
montage time. I will give Howie Mandel props for not bringing in Big
Chico: Ha. First up...
Sebastien el Charro De Oro... ... the Bandbaz Brothers... and Ben Blaque.
Chico: If one advances from this group, it's Sebastien. You're going to say Ben Blaque, aren't you?
Gordon: That's who I have. Sebastian was not on key for me. It wasn't good.
Chico: No one has the Super Knives Brothers. I thought Ben's act was too long a setup for too short a
Gordon: If Blaque doesn't advance, it would be the first time
this season that the last act doesn't advance. Blaque isn't a lock for
me though., I could see Sebastian advancing.
Chico: And the first act going through is..
Gordon: ALL THAT!
Chico: ... Gordon... Heel... .... SEBASTIEN "EL CHARRO DE ORO!" I finally have an excuse to use this!
CHICO WAS RIGHT!!!
Gordon: How come there's Spider Webs on it?
Chico: It's been 10 years.
Gordon: America. Likes. Singers.
Chico: They do.
Gordon: I'm guessing this means we have an Andrew De Leon and a
Todd Oliver joining them.
Chico: Good. But first... Cheerleaders!
Gordon: I like cheerleaders
Chico: Me too. While Sebastien selebrates, we're going to have
cheerleaders! It's the Broadway cast of "Bring It On!" I hope Lindsey Norton is taking notes.
Gordon: We have lyrics ,and moves and hey! A Story!
Chico: Bring It On is running through January 20. Happy
birthday, Chico! Thanks, Chico! So what's Snapple Cameos?
Gordon: A chance to boost someone's sagging career.
Chico: Apparently you can go to nbc.com/snapple and vote for an
act to appear. Jabbawockeez, please?
Gordon: Jabbawockeez please.
Horse, Jake Wesley Rogers, and Andrew De Leon.
Gordon: Andrew De Leon. If Horse gets it, I will be pleasantly surprised.
Chico: Heh. I'll agree with both on that.
Gordon: If JWR gets it, I'll go drink all the booze in my fridge.
Chico: Me too. Time to go to the serious lights, serious music. Next to advance is... ANDREW DE LEON! And the Chairman is two-for-two.
Gordon: and HOwie is 2 for 2.
Chico: And so is Howie.
Gordon: I see the streak end right there for Howie
Chico: Next up...
Todd Oliver... Cristin Sandu... and Spencer Horsman
Gordon: Ok we know who's NOT going through.
Chico: Easy pick. Todd Oliver for the win. Let's move on. :-)
Gordon: This will be interesting.
Chico: I want to see Spencer. I think we see Todd.
Gordon: I want to see Todd. I think we'll see him.
Chico: Next up to the plate...... TODD OLIVER!
Gordon: Good choice. Todd was the best of the night.
Chico: that leaves the final three... and perhaps the final
three I cover for this site with a smile on my face...
Lindsey Norton, All That!, and Jarrett & Raja.
Chico: ... oh dear. Well, G, it's been real. Have fun.
Gordon: Your only hope is that All That came in 6th.
Jason: Hey I got three of four. I am not complaining.
Gordon: Because I don't see them losing to either Norton or
Jarrett and Raja.
Chico: I sadly don't either.
Jason: No I don't either.
Gordon: So Chico, anything you want to say to the faithful?
Chico: I'll continue to watch but I reserve the right to defer
to the judges.
Jason: What I mean...why are you retiring Chico?
Chico: Last three are Lindsey Norton, Jarrett & Raja, and All
That! All That wins, I'm going to be convinced that the fix is
Gordon: And Chico will retire.
Jason: Horse didn't make it...so I am good.
Chico: Meanwhile, we have Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen
singing... something else!
Gordon: Which means that Jason and I will be taking over
Chico: "Good Time" is the song.
Jason: Lip Sync?
Chico: Autotune city
Gordon: Last time I checked, you can't sing autotune.
Jason: Nope. And here we go
Chico: I'm standing by the exit. heh. I'll come back to recapping the show when All That gets
Gordon: Leaving the show is.......
Gordon: Jarrett and Raja
Chico: And we all called it.
Gordon: We did.
Jason: So All That goes in.
Chico: That leaves All That! and Lindsey Norton in 4th and 5th. And Howard calls shenanigans. Only a half of a percent difference. There's still one more shot here. The Judges' Choices.
Gordon: All That guarantees that they can blow your mind the next
Chico: by doing something they did seven years ago!
Gordon: Howard looks like he's about to vote None of the Above.
Gordon: Lindsey Norton goes for the sympathy vote.
Jason: Wah wah wah
Gordon: They'll bring Piers Morgan back in a tutu and tap dancing
Jason: I hate this.
Chico: Bring Gordon and Chico into the show. We can do... ummm... something.
Gordon: That'll be different all right
Chico: NEXT WEEK!
Andrew De Leon and Todd Oliver will return with The
Scott Boer hers, William Close, Academy of Villains, Tom Cotter, Donovan
& Rebecca, Eric Dittleman, Edon, and Turf
Chico: Be there. I may not be. =p Howard chooses... ... ALL THAT. Sharon's going to choose them as well. But let's go to Howie... He chooses... LINDSEY. Please do the right thing, Sharon...
Jason: She picks....
Gordon: ALL THAT
Chico: have fun with the second heat of the semis.
Gordon: And Chico...it's time to say goodbye to CHico.
Jason: Good bye Chico
Chico: Well, I'll be back next week, but not the week after.
Gordon: I'll be back next week with the bald one and the other
Chico: Because next week is a fair shake.
Chico: Until then, for @beattheblock and @GSNNHaterade, I'm @chairmanchico.
Good night, America!
Jason: GOOD NIGHT!
Gordon: Good night!
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