Round of 40: Round 3
Gordon: We're here for the THIRD semi-final act in America's Got Talent. Gordon Pepper, along with Don Harpwood here.
Don: Yo. Looks like they shortened the intro this time.
Gordon: I think they did. Jerry's here. The judges are here. The acts are here...but 5 of them will no longer be here in 30 minutes. The judges are here, but the X's mean nothing. The Audience is here, but they mean nothing. All that matters are the people at home voting. Piers, who reminds everyone that he X'ed 3 acts, says that he will continue to X if the acts aren't up to par. Sharon says that voting off Elite was difficult. David says that the talent is amazing. Ummm...not if you've seen the past 2 shows. Last week's 10 acts are back. It's time for...a recap!
Don: Of course.
Gordon: Just to remind you. Piers X'ed Kasual, The Zooperstars, and The Giant. The judges thought some of the acts were great. I liked.... 3 of them. The other 7 I could care less about. And speaking of which, it's time to see who will be advancing and who will be leaving. First 2 acts against each other - Paul Salos Vs. the Slippery Kittens.
Don: Bye, Kittens.
Gordon: Moving on is.....Paul Salos!
Don: No surprise.
Gordon: No shocker there. Johnathon Arons...and The Wright Kids are next
Don: The Wright Kids
Gordon: The Wright Kids have the Wright Stuff. Jonathan leaves. Daniel Jens and George the Giant are next.
Don: I bet Daniel advances.
Gordon: You would be correct, sir. Daniel advances. Next up - Kasual Vs. Queen Emily. This looks bad for Kasual.
Don: Very bad.
Gordon: The audience shouts for Queen Emily. The audience gets their wish. Kasual is gone. The Zooperstars and Beyond Belief finished in 5th and 6th. The judges will decide who moves on. I think we know who Piers is going to select.
Don: The costumes are shaking.
Gordon: They should be. I already see one judge against them. Piers says that it's a tough decision to make. Stop lying, Piers. He votes for the talented kids over the 'most stupidest act in history'. BBDC gets Piers' votes. Sharon will go next. Sharon likes the Zooperstars silliness...and votes for them? Wha?
Don: Oh, geez.
Gordon: I think it's more like she passes it to David to make the decision. He asks the audience, who are clearly in Zooperstars favor. David will agree with...the audience. The Zooperstars advance and the girls, after the audience's thoughts, sort of knew it.
Don: ... Did I just hear that right?
Gordon: And we get a cascade of boos and crying kids. I think in a pure talent competition, the Zooperstars have no chance against the kids. HOWEVER. I think the kids have no prayer of cracking the Top Ten - nor do I think they would make a good Vegas Act. The Zooperstars have an outside shot, so I think that's why they stayed. You also have 18,000 dance acts, and some of them need to be weeded out.
Don: I guess that makes sense. I'm still shocked, though...
Gordon: I'll guarantee we get more shock this week. We start with more dancers - The Texas State Strutters. My advice to the Strutters - don't finish in 5th or 6th. Sharon wants to see more and be more current. They say they will be precision dancing to more than just strutting. Ok then. We get a little dancing, and a little high kicking. We also get a little X from Piers...and an X from Sharon...and an X from David. The judges are deadly tonight.
Gordon: Here's what I think the judges will say - not precise. not different or new. And I will agree with the judges. This is the Round of 40. you have to step up your game. Piers called them boring and think that they can be synchronized swimmers. Sharon told them to raise the bar. David said that he just said goodbye to dancers who were better than they were. He's right. They needed to show something more. They needed to raise the bar and they didn't.
Don: Yep. I think it's safe to say they're done.
Gordon: And right now Beyond Belief Dance Company must be really ticked off backstage. Next up - Michael Strelo-Smith. He's larger than life - and he is following his dream. Last year, he got THIS close to the semi-finals, but didn't make it. This time around, he's in the Top 40. Is it enough?
Don: I don't know...
Gordon: He sings 'I Am What I Am'. If I have one shot to sing a song to get America to vote for me, this is NOT the song I would select. Piers and Sharon both X him. I would have X'ed him as well. As a matter of fact, I will. X.
Don: Same here. X. Neal E. Boyd was definitely better.
Gordon: Piers calls it a word that Simon Cowell uses a lot - Karaoke. The problem is that he has Neal E. Boyd to compete against. Another problem is that he's arguing with Piers. As much as I disagreed with Piers in the past years, I agree with him this season. And I agree with Sharon that it screamed 'Music Teacher'. Sharon is losing the argument with Michael so she tells him to zip it and goes to David. David says that he did a damn good job and gave it the shot. he said that it was important to follow his dreams.
Gordon: Michael says that he sung harder once he got X'ed. The problem is that he needed that intensity earlier. I also agree that the outfit was incredibly bland and the song choice was ridiculously awful. Maybe Magician Bruce Block will help raise the bar as Jason Block joins us. Bruce Block could be Jason's long lost uncle.
Jason: Ha. Ha.
Gordon: Bruce comes in with a bunch of kids...and midgets...and a horse to saw in half.
Jason: Oh boy.
Gordon: He uses 2 people in a half horse suit (which gets a buzz from Piers) and creates a real horse.
Don: Well, um... That was interesting.
Gordon: That gets the audience less than thrilled, and the audience is shouting 'off, off off'.
Jason: Piers said neigh to this act.
Gordon: I say neigh to your bad horse pun. Piers says he did the oldest trick in the book. I agree. X
Don: Did I say interesting? I meant boring. X
Gordon: Piers thinks he blew his chance. Sharon doesn't have much to say. Sharon wants to know if the horse can stick around. Heh. David says it was very confusing and didn't come together. I will go back to what I said earlier. You have ONE chance. You have to give it your best shot. That...wasn't it. Bruce talks about how the horses hind legs are facing Piers' direction. 'Birds of a Feather Flock Together'.
Jason: Calling Piers a horse's ass...not good.
Gordon: So far, I've seen 3 acts who I don't see giving us another performance.
Don: Think they'd be better off on the Gong Show?
Gordon: I don't think Bruce Block would get past Andy Dick. Jason, is this why you're not a magician?
Jason: Yeah...he doesn't come to many of the reunions...he's the dark horse of the family.
Gordon: Thank you folks. Jay will be here all week. Next up...Shequida, the high and low voiced drag/opera...thing. Based on what Ive seen so far, she/he/it may have a legitimate shot to advance...but not by singing 'I Will Survive'. Is this gay anthem night? X
Jason: This is bad. Horrible. Brutal X
Don: I think I may need earplugs. X
Jason: MY dad is stunned.
Gordon: Kids. You get ONE SHOT. Where is the thinking in these song selections?
Don: So far, Piers has X'd every act tonight.
Gordon: And so far, so have I. At least she is dressed the best out of all of them in a nice sparkly sequinned pink outfit. Piers doesn't know if he would have survived that for much longer. And it sounded like his rabbit may be strangled. Sharon said it was different - maybe too high...but she looks stunning. David said that tonight was campy, and didn't show him the talent that he's capable of. I completely agree with David.
Jason: I agree
Gordon: It almost seems like this is American Idol, the first night, when the singers sing what they wanted to sing, and not what they thought would get votes. So far...0 for 4. Will we get a good act? I think we may have hope with The Taubl Family, but they need to be more current. What will they do that this time around? Mom said that they are not as old-fashioned as some people think. We shall see. They do...Rihanna's Umbrella?
Jason: Sounds like it.
Gordon: Wow. I like this. Complete with piano and violins in the background. This is exactly what they needed to do. Very hip.
Don: That was surprising. Surprisingly good.
Gordon: We finally get a good performance and an audience standing ovation. Piers says that the large group of people...works. He loved the look and the trendiness and he loved the song choice. Terrific performance. Sharon says it was looking grim until they showed up and everything was great. David said that he wondered if they didn't have the edge - he was proven wrong. He did like them better in Sound of Music mode, but I have to agree with Piers. This works.
Jason: A lock vote.
Gordon: I think they are definitely in the Top 20. Especially after listening to the first 4 acts of suck.
Gordon: Next up - Johnathan Burkin, the Baton Twirler. Johnathan has proved that he can be in the Top 40. Now can he prove that he will win? Johnathan is playing with flaming batons, complete with somersaults.
Jason: He is amazing
Gordon: He is juggling them also. I don't know if The Hoff is more excited in the performance or singing along with the Elton John song. He does a sweet throw the baton across the stage while doing a few somersaults and spins across the stage to catch the baton.
Don: That was a great act.
Gordon: Nicely done. I don't know what he can do to top it it in the next round, but he definitely looks like he will advance. Piers calls it incredible, adding that he has yet to drop a baton - maybe he needs to be in the Olympics.
Gordon: Piers says that Johnathan raises the stakes every act - and he's right. Sharon calls it exciting. David thinks that the show can sustain in Vegas and calls him the best baton twirler in the world. Uhhh...ok, David.
Don: The way things have gone so far tonight, I'd say he'll advance.
Gordon: But will Jessica Lenore join them? She's a country singer, and blonde, and...remind you of anyone?
Jason: I don't know. Carrie on.
Gordon: Nice. She says she's taking a risk on her song tonight. The song is...'I'm Not Ready to Make Nice', originally sing by The Dixie Chicks.
Jason: Group song sung by a single person...it works to me.
Gordon: Piers says it kicked in in the second half and says it was stunning. Sharon loves the voice and the confidence - but she needs to sing and not shout. David thinks she's good enough to get into the Top Ten.
Don: It was alright.
Jason: I think she is one of the 5 going to the next round.
Gordon: She's a little pitchy, but she does the play the guitar, and let's face it, America likes a hot babe. That being said, I'm going to hold off on 'Lock' status until we see the final 3 acts.
Gordon: Who's up for some Sick Step? Keep in mind that Side Swipe got to the finals in Season 1.
Jason: And a former Dance Ho group?
Gordon: With a couple of ex-So You Think You Can Dancers in there. Can they make a impression that will get them past the other dance groups?
Jason: In this case...no.
Gordon: They do a basketball routine - and a noticeable flub by the back dancers. X.
Jason: Nothing I haven't seen before or better on America's Best Dance Crew.
Gordon: I think they would get their lunch handed to them on America's Best Dance Crew. And here's what I really didn't like - there was no theme or cohesiveness to the choreography. Piers thought that they did a damn good job. If ABDC wasn't around, I'd agree with Piers - but we've seen the best, and this wasn't it. David says to bring more attitude. I agree. It was just...there. How did The Jabbawockeez not make the semi-finals and they did? Unfortunately, I think they get in, but I'm not so sure they deserve to be there.
Gordon: Matthew Piazzi is looking to get your voice - and impersonations. This can either be very good - or very bad.
Gordon: He needs to take the next step. Can he do it? Hmmmm...I've seen this already...Oh yes, first round. X
Jason: Boring. X
Don: Meh. X
Gordon: He does some piano - and gets an X from Piers. He needed to raise the bar. He didn't do it. Though the real fire at the end of him singing 'Great Balls of Fire' was cute. Piers says that the second he went to the piano, the audience went dead and he hated the material. I went dead and hater the material long before then. Sharon loved the impersonations - but the writing was bad. David thought Matthew did a great job. Maybe he thought that Matthew was doing an impersonation of a cheeseburger. Sorry. that just never gets old for me.
Jason: I thought Matthew was out of focus and unrefined.
Gordon: I think it was good for an opening audition. I think only 3 people did what was really required at this stage and raised their game. And I think 2 people are going to get in because they have to allow 5 people to advance. Or maybe 4 people will get in deservedly as we await...ELVIS. Who's up for some ELVIS? Joseph Hall, complete in Black and White and jail cell background, gives us 'Jailhouse Rock'. Can he fill the shoes of Elvis?
Jason: Joseph can't fill Elvis' jockstrap. X
Gordon: You can't impersonate Elvis if you're going to get the lyrics wrong. X. But boy, did AGT pimp him out though, didn't they?
Don: No kidding.
Gordon: We get a VERY mixed audience reaction to that. Piers calls him polarizing, nothing the boys boo and the girls cheer. Piers did not like his performance and wonders where the confidence went, and telling him to not take himself too seriously. Sharon tells him to put in more practice and to be naughtier - and dirtier. Ooh la la. David says that he needs to be blown away, adding that he doesn't need all the dancers. I agree with David. Joseph needs to let loose. It was not a great start for Joseph, but I think he will make the Top 5. Mainly because we had 5 bad acts.
Jason: I think the acts that move on....Taubl, Burking, Lenore, Sickstep and Elvis
Don: Agreed. This seems like a bit of a no-brainer tonight.
Gordon: So I think that, ranked in my order of preference, The Taubls, Sarah Lenore and Johnathan Burkin earned their way in. I think Sickstep and Joseph Hall get in by default.
Gordon: Tune in 24 hours from now to see if we're right...or if we will be stuck with another Shequida performance.